My 2 Year Old Can Be a Bully at Times and I Need Suggestions on How to Handle It

I can relate, My 3 yr old can be that way.

I know it can be so embarrassing to have the kid who hits or bullys at playgroup. But, It is important to keep exposing him to these situations.

I have found that it helps if I spell out the rules prior to going. In the car we say "NO Hitting" "No Screaming" etc.

I also try to give her the correct behavior. No hitting-gentle or kind touches. No Screaming-inside voice or quiet voice.

We also made a family rule poster and believe me my dd lets me know if I broke any rules (ie NO yelling, Hey I am a mom)

HOw is his vocabulary? He may be acting out of frustration and trying to get someone to listen to him.

I would also keep a close eye on him and stay close to him at the beginning of playgroup to intervene before things go to blows. I know you want the adult interaction but, explain to other mom's I want him to learn good manners and how to play correctly around friends. I am sure it will pay off in the long run.

Sorry you're going through this, K.! I know you've heard it a million times, but it really is just a phase. Just because he hits now does not mean he is going to get worse! It's not like you're just completely ignoring him when he's doing this - you address the behavior right away.

My dd has finally overcome her hitting phase, and my dh and I handled it by being gentle with her. The rule in our house is that we do not hit - parents OR kids. It required us to be a broken record - we don not hit, we are gentle. Hitting hurts.
We'd show her the correct behavior, and when she demonstrated that behavior, with or without our prompting, we would praise her. Focus on the good, not the bad.

No suggestions, really, just letting you know that we've been there. Sounds like you're doing a good job.

I think this is going to be my new motto - You can be both firm and gentle, and no spanking does not equal no discipline.

I have a 4 year old daughter who can be this way sometimes. With her, time out just doesn't work anymore. They are at that "testing" stage. I have an 18 month old that does the same thing. I am tested on a daily basis. Since the time outs don't work with my daughter, I have resulted in taken away something that she dearly loves for a short period of time. That has been working a good bit. The most I have done is taking her favorite toy away from her for one whole day. Believe me, when she saw that I wasn't going to back down from her and that I was going to make a believer out of her, she knew that she had better act better. BE FIRM WITH YOUR SON. Don't scare him by no means, but let him know that he will be punished accordingly if he doesn't stop. Maybe that will help you. I'm sure that there are a lot more women out there with better advice but I was just telling you how I handle things like that. As we all know, each child is different. I hoped I helped in so way.

I find that when my child does get a bit 'physical' it is usually because she can't get the other child to listen or to understand and that raises her frustration level.

When words don't work, she uses force. It is a primal instinct I think!!

I try to explain to my daughther (3) that she needs to use her words and when they don't work just walk away and play with someone else.

Biting and hitting are never acceptable.

I also told her that IF she bites the child may just turn around and take a chunk out of her. I ask her how that would feel.

She said it would hurt. Then I said you don't want them to hurt you do you? When she says no that is when I explain that it hurts THEM when she hits or bites.

I hope that makes sense!!

I feel for ya!!

Please try not to peg him a bully. I thought my child was a BAD kid for a while and would tell her stay away from certain kids.

I noticed other parents begin to treat her the same way.

When I stopped, THEY stopped.

My child is now doing well.

I am the Organizer of one of the most active playgroups in the Columbus/Ft. Benning/Phenix City area. It's imperative that we control negative behaviour at playgroups!

LOL!

Keep us posted!!

~C.
www.parentingincolumbus.com