My 17 Y/o Wants to Have Party with Alcohol

Maybe you should ask the other parents and see what they have to say. I know if any parent gave my underage kids alcohol I would call the cops and see that the parent that threw the party and who supplied the alcohol got into some big trouble for doing it. If your son is acting this way at 17 about not having alcohol at a party then maybe you should have his party at an AA meeting.

say NO!! adn stick to your guns on this one. it's illegal. he may be mad for a bit but will get over it. you're the adult. you need to make the rules, to follow the law.

You say NO and you stick to your decision. He will thank you when he gets older and understands why you made that decision. He may be upset now, but he will still love you!

Dear M.,

Continue to say "NO!" You are liable for anything that happens, including being sued by parents for providing ETOH to their children.
If you let him drink at your home, it will be marked as the place to go if you want to drink because you are a "cool mom". They will bring their own alcohol and you will not be able to leave your house, because the minute you are gone, they will show up. Your son may be as nice as the day is long, but he cannot manage the pressure that he will be under when his friends and then their friends and then 3rd degree friends that he doesn't even know, are in your house drinking. Don't set him up to be put in a situation he cannot police. You protect him and yourself by saying no.
If his "friends" won't come to his party because there is no alcohol, he needs a new set of friends. These are not the kids you want your child around.
Be a parent here, he doesn't need you to be his friend, he needs adult guidance. If he doesn't want to have a party without alcohol, then no party, he can have one when he is 21.

Do not mean to judge you, but you are sending your son mixed messages. You allow him to attend parties knowing that he and others will be drinking. Small wonder that he doesn't understand why he can't have a party also! The fact that he and probably most of his friends are underage and NOT legal to drink is really a sad testament as to how we all party today. If you were to give such a party you would be held at fault should anything happened.
I remember being a teenager and having teenagers. Not saying they never tried alcohol,never with our permission, and there were big consequences when we did find out. But luckily the parents stuck together and all had the same rules: Not of age... no alcohol. When did everything change that it wasn't a party unless you were a little under the influence. Sad.

Hi, M.. I feel so bad for you because most of the mothers below have seemed to "gang up" on you by saying, "Are you kidding? You are the parent!!" Well, they must not have teenagers. I have an 18 year old and I know what you are going through, M.. We love our kids so much, that even though we know that we shouldn't agree to something, we don't want to upset them and we want to act like their friend, so we sometimes consider things we shouldn't. Well, I commend you for being open-minded and considering this request of your son's, but the other mothers are right - don't have it because you could get in trouble. Even if you take the keys away, you don't know how other kids will handle the booze. I know my son has gone drinking over one friend's house when he was 16/17 when the parents weren't home (and he stayed over) - and that was only 1/2 mile away from our house. He still goes now at 18, but always stays over. I haven't and wouldn't let his friends drink at my house because we live in the country and kids HAVE TO drive. And the kids wouldn't let me call their parents, I know. I know it is tough - our teenagers can badger us until we make decisions we normally wouldn't make, but print out the story for your son that one of the Moms gave the website to below... Maybe he will then understand why you are saying no... P.S. I commend you for letting your son go to the other parties and picking him up at 11:00, and I commend your son for ALLOWING you to pick him up. I have done this with my son also (sometimes having had to park down the road so no one would see though :) -- you can try this with your son to avoid peer pressure/embarrassment for him). Good luck.

Not to be rude but I can't believe u would have to even ask this question. Tell your kid that u can't drink till your 21 and that's final!!!

DON'T DO IT!
First, the legal drinking age is 21. You can get in major trouble for serving alcohol to minors. There's enough problems with adults drinking and driving never mind teenagers.
Second, tell your son that if his friends don't want to come because no alcohol is being served then he needs to find new friends.
Third, just don't do it.

You shouldn't be allowing him to go to parties where you know there is alcohol. You are allowing him to break the law at other people's houses so why not yours too is probably what he is thinking. Time for you to lay down the law w/ all the partying.

You were right to say no. You are ultimately responsible for the kids at the party and when they leave if they had been drinking at your house. You would risk not only being sued but also being arrested for providing alcohol to minors. I know it is a bummer and it would be great to say yes. I heard of a situation in Ct where the parents were arrested and they were not even at the house when the kids were drinking but the parents had approved of the party. I myself was house sitting years ago for a neighbor. I was not responsible for the 18 year old son (just the animals etc.) and the parents had said he could have a few friends over. When I got back to the house that evening there were more than a few friends and there was alcohol and the cops showed up with a drunk friend who had snuck out, driven off and passed out at the wheel. I know alot of these parents were okay with there kids drinking and it was usually at one of the parents homes. But I realized in this situation I was the adult staying at the house and I could have potentially been held responsible.I would have felt horrible if anything worse had happened (felt bad enough as it was). I guess my point is you need to think if you want to be held responsible for all this kids drinking.

Hi:

I have teenagers. This is when you "just say no!" He can be angry with you, and that will pass.

I agree with the mom who said you need to be your son's parent, and not his friend. If your son has a hard time understanding why you need to say "no" to this type of party at this age, maybe he could see some or all of the other responses from these "mamas". Then he might see that you are not just doing this to him, or that you are unfair, but that there are a lot of responsible parents out there and he's lucky to have one. Seriously - consider letting him read these replies.
Good luck!

You're right - you'll be breaking the law and would get sued. You are NOT paranoid. You are the parent, and he is the child. You set the rules, not him. Let someone else have the party and assume the liability. I am not sure he should even be going to parties where you KNOW there is alcohol!

Are you serious? You really should not even be questioning this! (I don't mean this in a belittling way) Tell him NO!

Stick to your guns and say NO! Print out some articles about people who weren't as "paranoid" as you.

Stick to your guns M.!!! Drinking age is 21 and there are no exceptions to this rule!! you could loose everything if another parent decides to sue you for hosting a party and supplying alcohol!!! play the parent, not the friend!!! he will thank you for your strictness later on. L. C.

Stick to your guns!!! It's one thing to make sure he's safe coming when he's in an environment that you can't control. It's quite another to host a party putting him and his friends, and also, you for providing alcohol to minors, at risk. You are absolutely right for not allowing him to do this. Also, those kids who won't come because there is no alcohol don't sound like the kind of kids that are true friends. I'm sure that he is being paranoid and that you are being a good parent. I bet a lot of those kids will come anyway. Stay Strong!!

You aren't being paranoid, it is illegal and you can be sued should there be an incident of ANY kind. Personally, if I were to find out someone had served my teen alcohol I would call the police myself and report them. It is not your place to introduce alcohol to others kids, every parent must decide what is best for their child and their child only. Look, they want to experiment, they think drinking is cool and grown up, and being teens they believe they are invincible. But you and I know they are not and they all say the same thing afterward, "I didn't think anything would happen". As a mom of two teens who have never known their grandfather (he was murdered by a drunk teen) please don't fall for the "everyone is doing it" line your son is handing you.

M.,
The legal drinking age is 21. If your son was unfortunate enough to fall under the wrong influences and start drinking early, I believe you should not encourage this behavior by giving into an illegal habit and influences other underage children. If any of your son's friend's parents feel the way I do, you may certainly have a legal problem on your hands if there is any alcohal available in your home with friend over...

I'll never forget being seventeen and experimenting with alcohol. I wasn't interested in drinking really- I didn't like the taste- but I had some friends who had some problems. One time I had just three friends over. My parents were away- and one friend drank an entire bottle of Mezqual sp? (cheap Tequila) and was very sick. What a pain to have to deal with a very sick friend at my house. You just can't control what other teens may do. Don't even consider going through with the party. Even with good intentions all around it is a mistake.

I'm begging you not to give in. When I was in high school I drank frequently, despite the fact that I had to find unsupervised parties in which to do so. If my parents or my friend's parents allowed alcohol at their parties I would have consumed even more alcohol, no doubt about it, and I would have to find some other secret activity to do on the side, just so I would continue to feel a little bit rebellious. Teenagers are going to do things that they know they shouldn't be doing, but only to a point. If he feels comfortable telling you about his illegal, underage drinking, then what do you suppose he's doing that you DON"T know about??? I guarantee he's doing something, it's what teens do. Don't think that just because he's honest with you about his drinking he's honest with you about everything, this is a trick teens use on their parents to feign trust. If you support this behavior you are telling your son and his friends that illegal, RISKY behavior is something to be taken lightly. Please for the love of God don't give a bunch of teenage boys that message. The law-abiding citizens of the world depend on parents to raise their children appropriately so that when they become adults they don't have the attitude that the law doesn't apply to them, that they can do whatever they want regardless of consequences, etc. This kid is playing you like a fiddle. The only appropriate answer here is "NO son, your request is totally inappropriate. Never would I allow you to engage in risky illegal behavior. You are putting me in potential legal trouble regardless of whether or not I take keys at the door. Don't even think about asking me again because until you're 21 the answer will always be no."

Don't do it. 30 teenagers + alcohol=recipe for disaster.
That's not from a parent's point of view-I remember being a teenager!

NO WAY - you'd be arrested for Furnishing a Place for Minors to Consume Alcohol. Don't do it!

You should definitely NOT have the party if there is alcohol!

Do NOT give in on this. As a parent, you can legally give your own child a glass of wine or beer, but you can NOT give it or provide it for other people's children. If you are caught doing so you will be arrested. I tell you this as a mom AND a manager of a liquor/wine store. If your sons friends are really such, they won't need alcohol to have a good time. Don't worry if he's unhappy about your decision. He'll get over it. Something my mom always told me was that if I didn't want to do something my friends were pressuring me to do, to just blame it on her. "Tell them I won't let you or that I'll be really mad and you'll get into huge trouble. That way it'll be on me and your friends won't be any the wiser!" It always worked for me! :-) Good luck.

Ablolutly do not give in to your teens request. NO NO NO! You are right on the money with it being illegal, and someone taking legal action against you in something happens. So what if he doesn't take the car and you pick him up if he has been drinking. IT'S STILL ILLEGAL!!! It is illegal to be drinking at his age, and totally irresponsible for whoever is supplying him with the booze to begin with. Go ahead and be paranoid, it's your right at as a parent. And it's your obligation to respect what the law is. If no one comes to the party, what does that tell you.... that the partygoers are only using your son as a means to drink booze. Why can't they come to the party if there is no booze being served? Let your son be mad at you, do not give in to him. You will be doing yourselves, and him, a huge favor. Why not ask some of his friends parents to host the party... See what they have to say about it. I can almost bet that they would say no, or more importantly, if they aren't aware of what their kids are doing, they will when you talk to them. Stand firm! Say NO!

Put your foot down, Mom, and hold your ground! "Everyone is doing it." "Nothing will happen." and "No one will come unless there is alcohol." are arguments rooted in 17-year-old judgement. Not to mention that you and your husband could be arrested and charged with allowing alcohol to be served to minors in your home. Drunk driving isn't the only behavior that can lead to serious consequences for teens (or anyone) who has been drinking. I know it is tough, M., but this is an opportunity to set an example. Provide alternate party activities that would be fun for teens. You don't need to condone drinking alcohol for teens to have a good time.

M.
Stick to your guns and don't give in to this one.
You have three other kid to think and care for f he diesn't understand you can live with that,it won't be the first thing you disagree on.
Could you live with yourself if they took away your other kids because some other parent found out and got really P**ssed Off and called on you.
Or if someone got hurt that couldn't handle alohol and fell,got hit by a car or something else.
You could lose everything.If that's a gamble you are willing to take.Then at least you are making an informed decision.My son is 18 so Believe me I can relate to the request they make.

They can have have plenty of fun with video games,a dj,renting a large screen for videos and games or having a cookout,make your own pizza.if you have a yard some sports competitions,bonfire if you check with your local dept.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!

I wouldn't do it either. He's 17 and he lives under your roof. Yes, he'll be angry about it for a while, one day he will understand why you said no to an alcoholic party for 30 kids. Let him know that you and your husband would be arrested if caught (and he'll say you won't but why take that chance especially when you have three other children to take care of and are depending on you)and what about the other kids parents (I would never allow my 15 or 17 year old to a party with alcohol and when they go to a party I ask a lot of details and I call once during the party to make sure). You are the parent he is the child, there are too many repercussions for you and your husband and your children to have this one party that could go all wrong. Stay strong!! He will get over a "NO" answer.
Good Luck!
C.

Absolutely not!!! One day of your sons popularity is not worth the message you would be sending if you said yes or the liability of giving kids alcohol...you could lose your house, etc. God forbid something happened to anyone leaving that party!!

Absolutely not! End of discussion.

ok, i'm 22, not too far off from your son. A LOT of things can happen. None of those kids are going to cough up their car keys, and IF they do, will find some other way to get them back. A BILLION other things could go wrong. Kids get into trouble when they're drunk...break stuff, go running around the neighborhood, are noisy. With 30 kids... the cops WILL get called.. and I'd say that's about 30 counts of giving alcohol to a minor.... DO NOT let him. OK, if he wants to drink, and you are allowing it.. whatever. But don't do it at your house, with other children, who's parents im pretty sure would not be happy about it. Tell him no. Have his party somewhere else where you are not involved, or no booze. It's that simple. Why does your 17 yr. old have that much control over you that you are even considering it if you don't want to???

You could tell him the only way it is legal is if the everyones parents are present and agree to their child drinking...that might change his mind! Good luck!!

I absolutely echo everyone's sentiments. Not a good idea. If 30 kids are invited, how many more will hear about it and try to come? Plus there was a story down the cape a couple years ago of a graduation party. The parents took all the kids keys to avoid drunk driving, and an 18 year old boy died of alcohol poisoning in the basement. I think the parents are still dealing with legal issues from that, aside from the loss of a child and friend.

I just want to support you in your dilemma. I think it was a very good question and I understand both sides of the argument. I know that I as a teenager took some risks and did some stupid things in attempt to hide drinking and drugs from my parents. So now as a parent understand why some parents would think they could keep drinking under control and monitor behavior by hosting the party. Will saying no cause them to leave home and take those same stupid risks my friends and I took?? So for all those who appeared to want to reach through the screen and choke you, shame on them. They are obviously not living in the real world.

However, having said that, ultimately I think you have to forbid alcohol. It is not worth the risks, as others have said. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if something happened. You stand to lose too much. I think you need to continue to foster clear and honest communication with your son so that he doesn't feel like he has to sneak around, but explain to him the potential consequences. Offer the food he wants, the movie he wants, whatever else he wants, but not illegal substances.

Goodluck!! I'm dreading that I'm in your position!

go with your gut.... laws are so strict abouth under age drinking you don't want to put yourself in a situation like that only one bad thing could happen and you could find yourself in a court room ... don;t do it K. d mother of 14 11 8 and 21 mth old

M.,

Don't let your son talk you into doing something illegal. If no one comes to the party then good! There shouldn't be parties with alcohol for minors. Period!
C.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! You can live with your son being angry at you for a while, could you live with yourself if something terrible happened or you got in trouble with the police for hosting a party with alcohol for underage teens?

Tell him NO end of story!!

M.,

Why are you questioning yourself here. Who is the parent, you are! Absolutely no party with alcohol!! I would hope you wouldn't want the possibility of a CHILD getting hurt of even killed because of drinking in your home. Why is he drinking anyway???? I would make it a family party with a cake. What kind of friends is he hanging out with anyway that this would be such a huge deal? You may be sending him to AA before you know it. Time to take charge mom.

Don't do it. Tell him to suck it up. Just like you told him- you could end up in serious trouble if something happens. And let me assure you- people will show up if there isn't alcohol. He's just being dramatic. Stick to your guns- tell him no way.

I see that you are both Swedes. Am I right in thinking that there is a lowered, or even no, legal drinking age in Sweden? Is this why you are 'loose' in your views of your son drinking now? I'm just trying to understand your view point..

I would tell your son you WILL NOT contribute to underage drinking in any way. It is illegal. Period. The END.
I also would not be allowing him to attend parties with such behavior either. While it is VERY commendable that he has you drop off/pick up, and that you are proud that he does so. However, you, as parents could lose everything if anything goes wrong whether it be in your house or as a result of your son's behavior (handing a drink to a friend who gets killed in an subsequent accident). This is the AMERICAN way. (Unfortunately.)

If this were Sweden, you'd follow their laws.

It is unfortunate that we do have these laws in that it would have been nice if our youth could have grown up without the allure drinking has (like in other countries where kids can have a glass of wine with dinner; it's their culture.) But this is not the case here. Most of your son's friends probably drink to get drunk.. which is the danger.

Good luck.

PS you could always say, "Sure, Son. We'll have the party here. Sure, we'll have the liquor. BUT we are also inviting the parents, too." or "Sure. Have the parents sign release forms to release you from liability." I am sure he will see the point.

Are you kidding me?! How about NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Absolutely not! You're the parent, he is the CHILD and until he is 18 and not living in your house, or better yet, 21 which is legal, NOOOOOO Alcohol!!!!!!!!! Easy as that!!!!!!

Don't do it!Tell him there can't be a party with alcohol period.Do you want to call each parent of all those kids and ask if their kid can drink at your house.By having that party you are allowing other people's children to do something illegal.Do you really want to be responsible for all that? I would be furious if my child went to a party a parent hosted with alcohol.I am not stupid I know teenagers do it but I would not be a part of it.

whatever you do dont give in.. we know of someone's neighbor who hosted an underage party for their daughter. someone ended up crashing and they got sued, they lost everything including their home. its not worth it... good luck

I will just say that if my son was a teen (not there yet thank god) and he went to a friends party where there would be parents/adults present and he came home drunk I would call the police hands down. If you serve other people's teens alcohol it is completely underminding their parenting. It is also very illegal and they (if your in mass anyways) are cracking down huge on adults buying booze for minors. I think that your son even thinking you would go for that is outlandish. You should tell your son that if non of his "friends" will come to his house if there is no booze then he may want to shop around now for some new ones because clearly they are not his friends at all. I am 24 yrs old and most of my friends have been friends with me since the age of 5. I do not allow alcohol in my home because someone close to me had a drinking problem and it makes me emotional. ALL of my friends comme over on a regular basis, football with no beer the whole nine, there should be no reason for you to even feel guilty, ITS ILLEGAL and completey imorally wrong to consider serving someone elses child with alcohol. Sorry I don't want to come off harsh I just feel very strongly about this topic.

No way, the liability is too great. And how would you feel if something happened to one of those kids on their way home? And you are fine with your child drinking alcohol, and that's your prerogative, but not every parent is as accepting.
I remember being his age, and I know how upset he's going to be. But short of getting signed waivers from every kid's parent, it's just NOT okay.

I think you are doing the right thing to say no. In this day and age you can never be too careful. Allowing kids to drink alcohol underage is irresponsible and you could find yourself in trouble with the law by contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I bet plenty of kids would come to a party with no alcohol. For those kids that don't come....perhaps those are not the kind of friends one should have.

Hi M., DO NOT GIVE IN! Unfortunately, he is probably right that kids won't come if no alcohol. This is the again the are experimenting, etc. 30 kids YOU and YOUR husband would be responsible for. I have heard so many devastating stories that start out just like this one! You also have to realize that this party will probably happen at somebody else's house and you pick your son up as you do so you don't have to worry about drinking and driving. I strongly suggest you do not let your son talk you into this. 30 kids at a house party with alcohol could get out of control really quickly! good luck

Absolutely NOT! Do NOT cave on your wise decision and resoning.
YES you can and will be sued if one child...and that is what they are...gets hurt, OR comes home drunk and explains to parents that you supplied the booze. I can't begin to tell you how many loca news stories of parents that just this sort of thing has happened to.
These parents get a bad name too in the community.

If his friends can't come to his party because there isn't alcohol than they aren't his friends.

Not sure if there is a Dave and Busters in your area. I'd have him select a few, you take them there for dinner and to have a blast playing video games and such.

Don't do it. If you give in to this, when will you ever be able to say no to him?! He will still have friends and still be cool with his crowd if he doesn't throw this party (I imagine he wants to host the party to show how cool he and his family are). Rest assured, there are other families around you who are NOT hosting these parties too. Stand strong!

~Liza

It sounds like a logical idea, kids are going to drink so mine as well let them do it at home. But cops are cracking down on minors and drinking. My 17 year old brother had an underage drinking party in December (my parents were away) and the cops showed up because of the number of cars outside. They made all the kids call their parents to pick them up and towed all their cars. My brother was summonsed to court and had to pay $350 and lost his license for 90 days. Just be careful! There is a zero tolerance policy for stuff like that especially when the parents are home. Good luck!!!

You were right to say no. I have been to a party with alcohol allowed as a teenager and it was a nightmare for the parents. Stick to your answer. He'll respect you for it later.

JUST SAY NO WAY!! Gone are the days that when alcohol was discovered by the police kids were just sent home. Now, they call parents or arrest the kids. They even arrest the parents even if you aren't at the house but they found out you knew about the alcohol. It isn't safe, someone could get killed, that you would have to live with forever and on top of that you could get sued and lose everything. Your kid needs to know that there are consequenses to his actions and to drinking. He shouldn't have a free pass to alcohol. If something bad happens, he would be charged as an adult contributing to minors. Yes, I agree that kids will be kids. I know I was, but he has to know kids have died from drinking. If he is going to drink he should know that consequenses. Research the the laws, read the newspaper, find out what happens to kids that get caught, to parents that get caught, do a report on how many deaths there are due to drinking and driving, binge drinking etc. In many states it takes about 1 to 2 drinks for some people to be over the limit. This is something you need to stay clear of. please visit CNN.com for a story www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/12/coolparents.drinking/index.html

Hello M.,

It seems like by agreeging to drive him to parties that you know will be serving alchohol you have already set the thought process that there is nothing wrong with him drinking at the party as long as he does not drive. I have lost too many friends who started out having a couple of beers. I know kids will be tested with this but you need to let your Son know that you will not host a party where alchohol is served period. If he thinks that nobody will come that gives you an indication of the group he is hanging out with and being influenced by. We need to be strong for our kids. They may not like us much during this time but our job is to get them to see the age where they will be able to make choices on their own.

I would not condone this drinking thing at this age period. Forget about the lawsuit but think about what it is like at 17. You are not really all as responsible as you think you are and after a few drinks you will be led to do things that could alter the rest of your life.

Good luck

oh dont do it you would be breaking laws my 19.5 yr old neice tries with us you just cant not only would the other parents be against it but its too risky invite 10 kids and rent movies and pizza and you leave i guess that age is hard mine are still little id say no flat out!

Hi M.,

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

I also experienced something similar when my daughter was turning 17. I knew she and many of her friends were already drinking and to excess of course, because when you are a teen, that's the whole point.

Well, when my daughter was about to turn 17, so were several of her friends. I felt concerned that they would party outside of the house and possibly drink and drive, so, with some trepidation, I agreed to let the girls have a party at my house complete with beer. The girls parents all gave permission and I took everyone's keys.

Let me tell you it was the worst night of my life. As soon as the drinking began, the girls got stupid, and of course, uncooperative with me. Throughout the night I had problems with party crashers (mostly young men hoping to take advantage of these inebriated young women) Initially, I was concerned a neighbor would call the police and I would be arrested.

As the night progressed, my concerns became so great, I almost called the police on myself! The girls did not settle down until about 5:30 AM and luckily everyone was safe. I would NEVER do it again! Although I share your concerns about teen drinking; tolerating it does not make it better.

Best Wishes and God Bless

J. L.

M.,
Teenagers are manipulitive!!! Your son is going to make it out like this is not a big deal, but it is!! Even if your son had a stranger go into the store to buy the alcohol, if it is being consumed under your roof it becomes your responsibility! Even if you take the keys and tell all of the kids they must stay over, that is not going to work! Most 17 year olds have a curfew and most parents are not going to be understanding about them spending the night. I know myself, whenever I wanted to get away with this kind of stuff I would stay over a friends house whose parents didn't "parent". It does not take long for other parents to figure out who these "parents" are. Do you really want to have that label in your community?? There is no doubt that kids will be sneaking out to go home at all hours of the night. Kids can make a spare set of keys! God forbid something happened! Do you really want that on your conscience??? Please don't take offense, but if you have to even ask this advice then maybe you need to reevaluate your choices. Sorry for the harsh honesty, but if you even consider this party then you are making a very irresponsible decision. Stand your ground on this one!

Don't do it, a student at my school when I was 17 got hypothermia from passing out in a puddle outside at the party, the parents did all that you mentioned, collect keys, tried to supervise, etc. There are just too many unknown variables to be able to have a truly safe party.

Good Luck, Nat

Hi,
I have two teenagers...one is 19, and the other will be 17 next week and it is rough but stick to your principles on this one. Not sure what state you are in but in NH they have just passed a strict law about parents supplying alcohol to minors and it isn't good. My oldest attended a party that the parents did the same thing, took keys etc. and they still got in trouble because nobody underage is supposed to be drinking not to mention, most of the parents of the other children weren't aware of the alcohol and were very angry. Say no and if nobody will go then too bad!