How do I feel about (other) parents serving alcohol to minors? I think it really depends.
For example: Are the children taking communion? Are they taking a medicine? Are they drinking a Kombucha or another slightly fermented beverage?
Are they 3, 13, 18 or 20?
Is it the child's wedding? Is it a holiday? What is the family's cultural background and what significance does alcohol have to them? Are they drinking with food?
What type of alcohol is being served? Mead, wine, beer, vodka, whiskey? What is the alcohol percentage? In what quantity?
Are they giving their friend's children alcohol, or just their own children? Where do they keep their alcohol?
Where do they live? Is the child about to leave? Will he/she/they be driving? Do they have access to a car? Are their friends present? Their other family members? Are they drinking alone? What will be their B.A.C. when they finish drinking?
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Me personally? Nope, I wouldn't let my kids drink alcohol. First, they're 3 and 4 years old. Secondly, I don't drink, so you could imagine how THAT would look, "Sorry CPS, I just thought I should expose my 4 y/o to alcohol SOME how, so I bought them a fifth of rum. What's the problem?"
Tee hee hee. Kidding, that's not what you meant, I know.
When my kids are teenagers? Oh goodness, I really don't know.
If my mom were to pour them a glass of wine when they are 18, as she did for me? Hmmmm....In theory, I don't have a problem with it. "The Law" bit doesn't really push me one way or the other.
But here's part of my puzzle:
My four year old has most of the markers for addiction - prenatal and neonatal stress, exposure to opiates while fetus and breastfeeding, early childhood trauma, maternal and paternal addiction, etc.
She still doesn't feel entirely comfy in her body, has trouble coping with big feelings, feels like an outsider, and we're in the process of diagnosing her neurodisorder.
There's a LOT there and I do fear she'll find a way to self medicate before she's found a sustainable way to gain balance and relief. I'm not sure where she'll be when she's 5, 13, 17. Hopefully, she'll be whole, know herself, and trust her own internal value.
I do feel worried that, if she finds a substance/behavior before she finds herself, that she my may fall in love, and that she would loose herself in the process. I've watched that happen with her bio mom, my sister.
My plan? Set fluid boundaries, model healthy behavior to the best of my ability, TALK openly, love 'em like crazy.
Anyway. I'm just not sure where we'll be in ten, fifteen years. At THIS point, no, I wouldn't give my children alcohol and I cannot foresee a situation where I would buy or serve them alcohol from my own kitchen/pocket.
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I think in order to really properly answer this question, I'd have to also answer these questions:
- What causes addiction?
- How can we prevent addiction?
- Can legislation help to prevent addiction and reduce the societal cost and harm of addiction? In what ways? What is the expense? Is current legislation effective in reducing rates of addiction/crime rates?
- What regard do we, as individuals, have for The Law? Do we hold The Law supreme? Do we create our own rules and guidelines? Do we always fully adhere to the law at all times?
- What are the risks and harms of drinking alcohol. What are the risks and harms of children (under the age of 18) and young adults (18-20) drinking alcohol?
- What's our family histories relationship w/ alcohol? What markers for addiction do our children have? How do we, as adults, drink?
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Ditto Riley's #1