More Sleeping Advice

Hi, My little one was also born in April and it is truly amaizing at how she has grown. This is my husband and mine's first child and he is an only child. I know how hard it is. We decided to do the cold turkey method. I even spoke with her doctor before tring it :). We would feed her formula right before bed and than, and now, I spend 15min rocking her for her "down time". I kiss her and put her in her crib. Because your son is use to sleeping with you (my daughter slept in the same room with us for awhie so she could always see us) he will probably cry. I would just go be with my husband and cry while she cried. The first night was about 30 min and it killed me but I was reasured that this was the right thing to do. By the second night it was 15 min, third just a few little wimpers and now there are nights she just wants to be laid down and not rocked (though that bit of indepandence already kills me) Also, babies wake up on average 3 times a night and all we do is to allow her to fuss and comfort herself. It usally only takes about 10 or so min. As long as it is not a pain cry we just let her fuss and find self comfort. She now sleeps 9-12 hours a night, waking every so often but putting herself back to sleep.

Both of her grandmothers wont put her to sleep either so we try to be home for her bed time and if we can't I tend to spend alittle extra time rocking or reading to get her to calm down. I have no luck with them either. Sorry that I can't help you there.

K.,

If you're okay with some crying, here's what we did with our son: Put him down. Cry, cry. Wait 5 minutes. If he's still crying then we go in, kiss him, lay him back down if he's standing, then leave. Cry, cry. Wait 10 minutes and repeat, increasing by 5 minute increments. We usually don't have to wait more than 12 minutes before he falls asleep.

If your MIL babysits frequently, then I don't know what to say. Sure, kids can get off schedule and sometimes it takes a day or two to get back on. But if she babysits multiple times a week, I don't know how to help you. If you have a great relationship with her, then explain what you're trying. If not, then all I can say is good luck. :)

Wishing you the best!

M.

K.,

I totally understand what you are going through. My son is almost two and he has never been a good sleeper. When he got up in the middle of the night (about 4 hours after he went down) I used to go in and rock him and put him back in his crib. I tried the cry it out method as well but it did not work at all, he once cried until he made himself sick and I swore I would never do it again. Now I am 8 months pregnant and he still gets up. Once I got pregnant it got to hard to "fight" him so I also bring him into our bed and he sleeps great. I will admit that I don't mind co-sleeping because I love to snuggle my little guy, but I have major concerns now that we have a new baby on the way.He is in a big boy bed now and I have tried to go in and sleep in his bed with him when he gets up, hoping he will eventually be able to sleep on his own. I don't really have any advice but I do understand. If you find something that works let me know!
Good luck.
B.

We didn't crib break our guy until about 7 months either. I was just more comfortable with him sleeping with me until I felt confident enough to him to sleep on his own. We tried many methods, finally we had to let him cry it out. I would do your normal bedtime routine and put him in his own crib to fall asleep. The first couple nights are rough and may cry for an hour, but then he puts himself to sleep. When he wakes up in the middle of the night go into his room and reassure him that you will come when he needs you, but he needs to go to sleep on his own. Again, he may cry for an hour, but he will put himself to sleep. This is really tough for about a week, then things just start working out. This would also be a good time to give him a lovey if he doesn't already have one. Something for him to use to comfort himself instead of you. Oh yah, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, you need to let him cry for at least 5 minutes before you go in and check on him. He may be able to put himself back to sleep before you check on him. good luck.

I helped my son teach himself to fall asleep on his own by putting him down awake and leaving the room. If he cried, I'd go in there and rub his back or head until he stopped crying, then I'd leave. If he cried again, I'd repeat the process And if he cried again, repeat. (you get the picture) Patience is required to follow through with this method, but it was worth it. My son also has a woobie (blanket) that he can't sleep without -- and I think really comforts him in his crib. When he was just a few months old, I started holding it against him while I nursed him (he still snuggles with it while I nurse him), which is how he grew attached to it.

He's probably learning how to self soothe. When he was sleeping with you, he didn't have to learn 'cause mommy was right there. I love that you co-slept as long as you did! I wish we could have done that. However, due to a space issue, there was no way. I bet that after he gets used to sleeping in his crib, he'll be fine. It may just take him a little while. Try to give him one of your dirty shirts to cuddle. The smell may help to re-assure him if he wakes up. I don't think that the CIO (cry it out) method works for all babies. It didn't with my dd. She just had to learn on her own time. It took her 10 mos, but now she sleeps all night long in her crib. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, she puts herself back to sleep (usually). Just let him learn on his own pace. If he cries in the middle of the night, I see no problem with letting him sleep in your bed the remainder of the night. Good Luck!

There is a wonderful book that has helped all of my sons sleep through the night on their own starting at 3-4 months. It is called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and I can't believe how well the practices in the book work. Basically the books explains natural sleep patterns and how to reconize when your baby is tired and needs to sleep. It is crazy but I have learned with all my children that sleep begets sleep. The more they get the more they need. I have 3 year old twins and when they were infants they went to bed at 6pm and not get up until 6:30-7am, and took 2 2hour naps a day. I found that if I kept them up too late, they would wake up more frequently at night. Another thing that has helped is to have a consistent wake up time every day. It is hard b/c you are tired, but try to start their day at the same time everyday. I know it is hard if you work or if your husband works, there were some nights that my kids did not see their dad, but in the long run it was well worth it because we had a well rested family.

I have a son who is 14 weeks old, (he started sleeping through the night at 11 weeks) he sleeps consistently through the night, I lay him down awake at 7 - 7:30 pm and he sleeps until 6:30-7 am. And he is a breastfed baby that has never had cereal. Hope you find this helpful. God Bless!

Well, I have an 18 month old who needed to be rocked to sleep until he was over a year old (completely my fault...i spoiled him). I was too much of a wimp to let him cry it out in his crib so VERY gradually weaned him off of the old sleep routine. First I would rock him until he closed his eyes. I would then put him in bed and stand right next to him. Some days he stayed asleep and others he would wake up, but once I put him in bed I never brought him back out. I would stay there and talk to him or sing. If he got too wound up again, I would lay him back down. Eventually I transitioned to putting him in bed just drowsy. SAme thing...once down I didn't take him back out but I stayed until he was asleep. Next, I put him in bed tired (after normal bedtime routine of bath and about a half hour of cuddle time with stories or songs) and then only sat in a chair next to his bed...after a couple nights i moved the chair further...and then further...until i was next to the door...then the next night i put him in bed and walked out (I was so pokey with these steps that by this time we had moved him to a toddler bed)...I stood right outside the door and if he came out i put him right back (supernanny style...)with no talking or eye contact....after quite a bit of this (some nights up to 15 times!!!) he sleeps all night every night in his own bed! I know it sounds drawn out (and it is...i am a huge wimp)...but I couldn't let him cry and if you have the time and patience, this worked for me. Good luck!

I tried everything with my 14 month old. I slept near/with her until she was about 12 months old. She hated her crib. We tried cry it out and she threw up 3 times. It was awful. I don't know if this will work for you, but we finally put her on her crib mattress on the floor. She sleeps through the night now, except of course waking up about once or twice if she is getting teeth or is sick. It took a long time to get something to work, but keep trying. You will figure something out. I still go in there if she cries. Your son is younger, so I don't know if you want to do that. Of course we have a gate so she can't get out in the middle of the night if she did wake up.

congrats on your miracle baby!

i think you should get a dr. sears book. a good one is "the baby book" and im sure there is one that just addresses sleeping. he talks alot about sleeping in and gives solutions that sit well with us.

im sure many will disagree, but if it feels wrong to you - IT MIGHT BE! your baby loves you and needs you and you have been together for 9 months + 8 months with your baby boy with you and being comforted that way. imagine how scary it must be for him to now be on his own!

i have a 2 yr. old and a 10 month old. i totally know what you are going thru. we tried "crying it out" for a few days and owen never stopped crying...plus it made me all upset. but, then dr. sears says in his book..."if it feels wrong, then it probably is!" there is no reason to make them sleep on their own just because others feel that it is appropriate. baby advocates believe that letting the baby feel secure and safe when they are young turns them into safe and secure adults!

another great book is the "no-cry sleep solution" which is exactly what it says...a no-crying way to get your child to sleep. i think it really helped.

with our little one, we have her sleeping in a pack and play next to our bed for now b/c she is g-tube fed and still wakes up in the night to eat. plus, she sometimes just wakes up and needs love for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep. sometimes we keep her with us and sometimes we put her back. it took a long time, but i finally decided that this is a temporary annoyance that will pay off later with secure children.

america is the only country where people dont sleep with their children. i always used a co-sleeper and did cosleeping, which is different than bedsharing, but has the same benefits.

ive found that the little one sleeps better in her bed - sometimes all night - with a womb bear! its very soft and cuddly and really sounds like the womb!

but of course, im a big believer in not taking everyones advice, so that of course includes mine! you do what feels right because no one knows that sweet boy like you do.

i wish you luck....remember: all this is temporary! it wont be too long before he is jumping on his big boy bed! :)
A.

We used the same technique as M. S. The soothing & drawn out seperation kinda thing. It worked for us, but then our baby was a little younger. We tried crying it out for the oldest, it was horrible for him and us! Just don't pick him up. Sooth him, rub his head, back, etc... but keep him in his crib. Try to get him to self sooth with a special blankie, pacifier, or small safe toy. Good luck with the MIL. I would say that is your husband's job, talking to his mom about it. My husband and I have that plan, if we have problems with the parents, then the appropriate child does the talking. Good luck!