Hello All,
I have a 15 month old who has been in daycare since she was 3 months. I have recently been layed off and she in now home with me everyday. I can sense that we dont know how to "play" together well and that she is rather bored. I have enrolled her into things at the library and other mommy and me groups which we do excellent together but the one on one time is difficult. I try to play with her but sometimes I feel like I am pushing too hard and trying to make up for lost time. I didnt realize how much I was missing until now....is it too late to bond with my baby? She has always played well with daddy and I was the "make it better" mommy and she clung to me during feeding, nap, bath etc... but I want to play too. Any suggestions for a struggling momma.
thank you to all of you who posted helpful things for me and encouraging words. It sounds like my daughter is right on track and I am trying to make her do things she is not ready for yet. she loves to run from room to room and have me chase her and she also loves to dump out all of the books and look at each one for about 5 seconds!! She is just starting an interest in crayons but gets frustrated easily. I guess I am just going to have to brush up on my block tower skills :) Thanks again!!
Just sit on the floor near where she is playing and she will come to you with toys to share, or sit and pretend play with something and she'll want to join in. This is what I do with my son and usually it engages him in play with me.
Just like other relationships, you will go through phases & transitions. I have all boys but for the most part, my husband has always been the " play mate". I would say when my older boys were younger , I felt we had a strong bond but now that they are older, sometimes I feel like the 3rd wheel. Sorry, I will get to my point. You are important to your daughter, for many things, play time may just not be your "thing" at this stage in her life. As her interests change, you two will find more things to do together.
Don't beat yourself up to much-it will be fine. Really. Your daughter is just trying to figure out the new dynamic. Before you know it you'll be playing together just fine!
Plus, 15 months old are just learning to play really. My daughter is 15 mo and it's a lot of following her around, watching her pick up things, put things in boxes, take them out, etc...or going on walks or having tickle time, etc....at this age they are just happy to have you there. My daughter can spend a half hour taking socks out of a basket and putting them back over and over-then she'll just 'check' to be sure i'm present. Rest assured-when she is closer to two-you will hear a lot more...play w me mommy, play w me.
You don't have to 'play' play literally... any activity is an activity with a child.
Even just laying on a blanket looking up at the sky, in your yard.
Or you talking to her... about what you are doing.
Kids also have developmental stages of learning and/or playing.
At this age and through 2 years old even, young babies/children do not play interactively... they do what is called "Parallel Play." Look this up online.
Thus, they don't "play" like an older child may do.
Also, having her just hang out and play by herself, with you close by, is good. They learn that way. They explore. Exploring is playing too.
Playing does not mean, one-to-one "playing." It is just doing activities.
As she gets older, play segues into other activities and interactions. Which are age, related.
Don't worry about making up for lost time.
Even her just being on your lap, and you reading to her, is an activity and 'bonding' time and playing.
Playing... takes many forms.
And many transitions.
Kids also adapt and you will both get into a groove about it.
Just bond with her for now.
Don't feel pressured.
Don't think you have to make up for lost time. That is an adult, perception. Babies have no concept of "time" or time 'wasted' or time 'lost.'
all the best,
Susan
It can be hard! I find it much easier to play with my 3 year old during daycare hours with the other children around. They feed off one another and you just have to provide a good routine and interact with them about their self -selected materials and the materials you provide. On the weekends it is so much harder! Here is a good site that might be be for somewhat older kids but look around and you'll find some thing that could work for you now or very soon with her.
Establish a routine including meals and snacks and naps --sometimes when kids are losing steam or seeming bored they are hungry or tired. Have outside time at least once if not twice a day. Try removing some of her toys and putting them in smaller crates so that you can rotate a different one in each week. Hope this helps!
Here's what my 15 month old likes: To be sung to about anything and everything, to have books read and to "read" board books himself, to play with toys, to go to the store or anywhere where he can look at stuff, to beat the pots and pans, to play peek a boo, to play ball (although he really just carries me the ball and then runs after it when I roll it ;), to have his tummy blown bubbles on, to run and I chase him, to watch little movies with lots of singing like veggies tales, to have time everyday to just be on his own exploring. I took my first all over to the library etc, but now with two and one on the way I just have to do my best to keep the house up!! Don't over think it, being home with you is an awesome activity!!! A tickle fest with mommy is something no-one could ever replace :D Have fun!
You'll get more into it as time goes by with her. Lay on the floor and let her crawl on you, wiggle and be silly and roll her on the floor and just be silly. Put a stuffed animal on your head and let it fall off and she will giggle and start to put it on your head and try to make it do it again and laugh at you. Play peek a boo with a blankie over your face, smile lots, and sing. Count her fingers and toes, and she will stick them in your face to do it again. Just be there, and be willing to crawl and be goofy and let her get comfy having you there full time. And be sure to hold her and snuggle and read her nice stories before nap and she will be just fine.
Aww... It's not too late. It sounds like what you're doing by going to the play groups is fine.
Hi i am in the same shoes. I have a job and my baby stays home with the dad but my story is different he still wants me and likes to play but my advice to is keep trying and eventually she'll want u cause i noticed the mommy's are the most important to a child so don't give up keep trying and you'll succeed i hope this is good advice but she'll come around she got to get used to everything again keep your head up!
At this age just getting outside can take up a whole morning if you follow her lead. I would take my son for a "walk" (not in his stroller) and just go along beside him. We didn't make it very far some days because he would find a rock and a puddle and spend 20 minutes throwing the rock, then retrieving it over and over and over. He would pick grass and discover a lady bug, we would watch the lady bug walk all over my hand and count it's spots. When it flew away we'd search for more.
If you want some ideas for "activities" to do with her; try puzzles, playdoh, books with flaps. Get an easel and let her paint, mix corn starch and water and let her get gooey! :) Get her a baby doll and dress and diaper the baby together. Simple cube blocks are fun to stack and knock down. A trip to the park with a tot lot can lead to other mom friends and they will have ideas too!
