Mom of a Only Shy Child

Hi, can i ask what part of NY you are in? I have a 9 year old shy girl who could use a friend outside of school. I am in Marine Park Brooklyn.

Look into an after school program. Here in Keene there are several of them including ones at the school and at the YMCA, both of which are reasonably priced. There are often programs held through the school or other organizations where she could do crafts, music or whatever.

I am a single stay at home mom, and there aren't a lot of kids in the neighborhood so there's really no one for my daughter to play with when she gets home from school other than me. She goes to an every day after school program that is virtually free (under $300 for the entire school year) and they do so many cool things like arts & crafts, photography, helping out at the animal shelter and community kitchen, cooking, etc. There's so much to do and it gives her 'play time' with kids her own age.

She started doing it when we first moved here so that she could meet other kids outside of school and really loves the program. The staff is mostly students from the local colleges and the person in charge is fairly young too, so it works well for the staffers and the kids. It has really helped her to be more outgoing and a lot less shy.

A great group that I found for my 8 yr. old son who was an only child for quite a while and my two nephews that are now living with us after the passing of their mom is Cub Scouts. It really gives the boys a sense of self confidence and sense of importance knowing that they are part of a group.

Have you looked into putting her into girl scouts? Its a posotive environment where she can associate with girls her age and the children are learning all the time and have fun doing it.

Hi, I have a shy child, She is 16 know .I tryed everything to get her to meet her friends.the more I puch her ,the more she stayed home.Try to get her friends # and set up a play date.If this don't work, you have a shy child.She will out grow this in time. My 16 is know is starting to hang out with her friends.Injoy the time you have with her know she will be grown up befor your eyes.

I have an only child as well.. he is 13 now and just starting to be social... I was mildly concerned just as you are, but I think each child is different and blossom on their own time. I would just keep an eye on her and make sure that she doesn't become too introverted. Just spending time with you is okay, my son and I are actually pretty close now because of it.

Hi C.!

I'm sure many people will respond to you, as your concern with your daughter is so normal and so many moms have gone through the same thing. It's natural to worry about your daughter, that's what moms do!

My mother has a saying that I've always loved. It's her way of saying that you are born the way you are, but that your experience and environment will also be factors in the person you are. The saying is "Genetics loads the gun, and life pulls the trigger." Your daughter might always be shy, it's seemingly in her genetic makeup (from you). I don't know if your husband is shy, but if he is, then all the more reason that your daughter will be too.

Since you mentioned that a majority of the time it's you, hubby and daughter at home without a lot of other family or friends, your daughter is not used to new people. Her level of comfort in crowds hasn't been established yet because it's not that way at home. And you know what? THAT'S OK!! Shyness isn't a burden (unless you want to have a job that requires public speaking, or other people heavy tasks).

Some advice (my opinion only) - try not to burden your daughter by pushing her to do things she's not comfortable with. She might take it as pressure to be different than she is, which can be overwhelming. If you would like her to become more social, try doing social things together. She probably wants to be just like you, so if you are outgoing she might pick it up.

But if everyone is happy, then try not to stress out about it. Being content with yourself is such an important thing, and an important thing to try and pass on to our children. Like the old saying goes, "If it's not broken, don't fix it!"

Good luck C., you're doing great!

K.

only shy child :Hi I'm a 35 yearold at home mom My hubby works during the day but he has long hours. I would love have some kind of play group and a mommy group. Email ____@____.com thanks

hello
my name is melissa we live in abington ma 02351,we are a family that really keeps to our selfs my son is 2 yrs old we have a great family and are looking for new friends around our town.

you could try a dance class or art crafts anything that shes interested in that shell meet others who are also interested in it is always a good way to make friends good luck
angelica

not to worry she will come out of it. my shy child is now 15 and is starting to come out of it.its just who they are. i have a daughter who will be 8 in april maybe we could get together sometime?

what about dancing school? karate class? art class?? check your local recreation departments, even stores, to see if they have kid classes that she can go and meet other kids at.

I just did a search on Amazon.com and found a bunch of highly rated books on "the shy child." If I were you I'd speak with a professional about this, or at the very least buy a few of these books to learn meaningful ways with dealing with such a serious issue.

Shyness can be a lifelong struggle. I hope you find was to help her deal with this. Good luck.

Hi. My name is M. and my son was just like your daughter. From birth he would give everyone he didn't know "dirty" looks. He was shy and very reserved for a long time. When my husband suggested we move to his hometown of Holland, VT. I wasn't too sure. I too, am a stay at home mom. My older kids live in Michigan so it is just usually me and my bud. Does her school have after school programs? How about going into her school and volunteering to be a "room mom?" Get involved with her school and it will help both of you meet new people and make those connections. It's like they always told me in the Army, You must lead by example. Show her how to do things and she will follow. My son is now out there trying new things and has a whole group of friends. He just joined a youth bowling league this year too! Good luck hon and let me know how things work out.