Mom Needing Advice on Tantrums

Dear M.,
my son 12 years ago had the same tantrums,they are night terrors.He also has high functioning Autism, or Aspereger's syndrom,of course that doesn't mean your son has it.
Just keep an eye on it, and maybe read up on night terrors.
Good luck MC

When my daughter was that age she was having night terrors, and wasn't really awake during her tantrums. I couldn't touch her to comfort her since she was still in the dreaming state and I became part of the nightmare.

You might want to look into that as I believe there is a lot more information about them now, than when we went through this.

M.,
When I saw your post today I feel a need to respond. I was in the exact same place as you barely 2 month ago. My NIGHTMARE with my then 2 1/2 year old daughter lasted for about 4 months.
I had her checked out for everything, even signs of autism...but doctor reassure me that is a tantrum problem. She would cry for NO reason and nothing makes her happy. The longest episode lasted for 5 hours (on and off)
I feel your pain, and trust that it will be better. Overnight, she just decided to turn back to the sweet girl I remembered. Literally overnight. I suppose at different stage, we fact different challenges, and at 2 1/2, they can be little devils. Hang in there, I hope he gets back to his old self soon.

The best advise I got from my mom was to make sure nothing dangerous is in the way and walk away. The more attention you give to the bad behavior the longer it goes on. I will warn you it is not easy to ignore it. You really are doing the best for him. I have no patience so I know what you mean by it getting to be too much. My guess is that he knows this and is trying to prove his will is stronger than yours. When you ignore it leave the room he is in and keep going about your buisness.
As for the waking up in the middle of the night having one. My experience (4 children) is night terrors and not tantrums. My doctor recommended waking my child up an hour after sleeping and letting him go back to sleep. The night terrors have minimized but not fully gone. Night terrors are very common for children 16 mo to 36 mo
If you think his communication is an issue try simple sign language to allow him more control until the therpy starts working. There are sights on line and you can look up simple things like, please, water, milk, mom, dad, I love you ect... It has helped greatly communicating with my children while they were pre-verbal. It did take a lot of stress out of the equation for them.
I hope this helps

I was going to say the same thing as Debbie.

I'll add, a temper tantrum is an extreme reaction to basically being told no or not getting their way. It's how they deal with their disappointment... it takes them a while to really get control of their emotions. What you explain, doesnt really sound like a tantrum at all.

Good luck... I really hope it gets better for you... and your son :(

The advice that I can give you is something that of course may not work for you, but it did for me. My daughter screamed throughout the day and throughout the night every day for about 4 months straight. She was a bit younger than your son when she was doing this, but what I personally did was get up with her every time she went into her screamiong attacks and hold her very close to my heart (literally). I would put her ear on my chest and let her hear the sound of my heart beating. Then I would rock her while cradling her close to me and sing her screams away. It worked every time. Of course we would go through the same routine night after night and day after day for 4 months, but it finally stopped. You will need alot of patience to do this and you wont sleep good at night for a while. But in the end it is all worth it.

My son did the same thing when he was two years old. His tantrums ALWAYS seemed to last 45 minutes to an hour, and he would scream, kick, hit, throw things, etc. It's fun, I know.

Two things worked for us. First, I read many sources that suggested having a tantrum as loud and as dramatic as that of the child, because the child will then be focused on your tantrum, rather than his own. Usually our son would start to laugh at us, then giggle, then we'd all have "funny" tantrums. I also made up a little song in which I sang and stomped my feet about how mad I am. It seemed to lighten things up.

On a more intellectual level, we also read a lot of stories about emotions and anger and feelings and all. There are a number of books out there, and they gave my son the verbage for what he felt, and it made him understand that what he was feeling is normal.

Hope I've helped. I really do know your pain. Good luck!

i think you are right to be concerned. My son woudl have screaming fits for hours. It could be a stage and it could be something else. He is probably frustrated with communication. If you have him in Speech I think that will help.. Are you doing this through Early Intervention? If so tell them aout your other concerens and request that you get additional services. PM me if you want some additional info!

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F.
www.thebodyshopathome.com/web/faithjones

M.,

hang in there. I know exactly what you are going through. My son (now 8) went through the exact same thing. You are definitely on the right track with speech therapy. What worked for me is when he threw these tantrums that came out of nowhere, I just held him snug and whispered in his ear that it would be all right. My sons trantrums were related to his frustration on his word retrieval issues. But I also would use the 1,2,3, magic books philosophy to trantrums to specific issues. If he was screaming to not getting his way, then it was 1,2,3 in your room. (I would have to hold the door shut while he was in the room). Consistency is key. If you would like more info, just email me. I have been in your shoes.