Mom Dont Know How to Trust Men

First - I am sorry that happened to you. Second - you need therapy. You can go to a place called The Turning Point for FREE! You just have to complete an evaulation. I have not known them to refuse help to anyone that I have referred to them.

I agree with Sarah L - this has NOTHING to do with religion or being a Christian. I am serious - The Turning Point can help. If you go to the website they clearly state that there is NO cost to you for counseling.

J.

The Turning Point www.theturningpoint.org
(Rape Crisis Center of Collin County)
P.O. Box 866754 Plano, Texas 75086
24 Hour Crisis Line: 800-886-7273
Office ###-###-####
E-mail: ____@____.com

this has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with time and therapy. find a good therapist, either group or solo. as for relationships, take them very slow. start as friends with lots of boundaries. if a man has an interest in you, then he'll be patient as you work thru this.

Even as Christians, we experience the same fears and are not immune to tragedy and suffering. I am learning that God loves and desires a relationship with my children too and watches over them. I, also was molested and had some difficult periods dealing with this and many other things, but my gracious and loving father has patiently walked me through. Some days, it seems like it is so hard to have faith, and when your most precious children are "on the line" it is even harder. I try to always remember the verse about the sparrows-if they are precious to him, how much more are we? and also, he has plans to help us, to give us a hope and future. God bless you-D

Hi. I too have been molested as a child by close family members, yes I said members. It started when I was 10 and I let that fear consume me for awhile and I had to give it to the Lord and let him handle it and he did. I had to learn to LIVE and be happy. No it is not easy to get over it but I have learned that the reason you can't move on with your life in living in fear is because you are letting the evil act hold on to you. You say you love the Lord well you have to turn it over to the LORD and live your life. Because living in that fear and with your children will not benefit your children in the long wrong. I did it because I was a single mom of 4 (2 girls & 2 boys). I was so strict due to my past my girls tell me how unhappy it was for them sometimes as kids because I kept them hidden. It seems like you need to talk to someone because you are still harbouring these old feelings of fear and it is causing misery in your life. Please find someone to talk to it might help. You can even email me personally (____@____.com) if you think it would help.

I also struggle with trusting men (due to many life experiences). Well, trust, in general. I can tell you that God has placed many good Godly men in my life whom love me without reason, just because God has given them a heart for me. I would pray that God put men in your life whom would love you in a way which reflects His perfect love. Also, pray for a spiritual father in your life whom will teach you what it feels and looks like to be loved by a good and Godly man. God often uses people to reveal His heart to us. Love heals. It is hard enough to fathom God's perfect love, even harder still when we don't have people in our lives who share His love with us. All wounds take time to heal. Bear your heart and hurts to the Father, give them to Him, and he will begin to work a complete healing in your heart and life. I am also a single mother; I know this is hard. I would also like to point you to a resource you may find helpful www.familyfoundations.com . On this website, you will find information about Ancient Paths seminar. I have been through two myself, and God has moved mightily in my life through this ministry. My church will be hosting an Ancient Paths seminar in July in the Frisco area. Send me a message if you are interested, and I can give you all the information. As far as learning how to trust, God is the only one who can teach you that. It is a good start to want to trust. The fear is from your enemy, remember that God never gives us a spirit of fear. Trust that God will protect your child and provide all that you and your child need. This doesn't mean you shouldn't be smart about who you allow in your life, just trust God to give you this discernment. You have been given several resources through others responses. Pray to the Father that He will guide you to the source He wishes to use to bring you healing. God bless and know that you are NEVER ALONE.

It looks like you got some great advice here. I am a Christian too, and do agree with counseling from someone you can trust. But I have another option too. There is a group called SOS at Zac's Ridge that has training weekends once a month. The goal is to help people who are hurting go back to where their lives were changed, deal with the hurt and anger, and then set them back on the path to live a full life. They also try to do this as inexpensively as possible so that everyone can get help, and there are scholarships available. Check out the website at www.sosinc.org or you can email me at ____@____.com - I just went through the training last month and came home a much more confident person. I'm going for part 2 this weekend. Total cost for part 1 is less than $200 and includes the hotel stay... meals are on your own, but the rooms have microwaves and fridges, so you can bring food. Good luck with your decision-making! K. :)

There is an amazing seminar called, The Landmark Forum, that completely changed my life and my view of life. I HIGHLY recommend it. It is secular, but I firmly believe it is God's work in a secular world. www.landmarkeducation.com. If you want to talk more about it in detail, just call. ###-###-#### M.

I am sorry to hear about your tragedy. My church, Lake Arlington Baptist Church, has a counseling center. The name is Impact. They are a sliding scale fee based program with very good counselors who will get you through this situation. Their number is ###-###-####. May God Bless you!

Try psychotherapy and see if your church offers spiritual counseling.

It sounds like you might not be ready to meet men. Maybe your focus needs to be on getting better emotionally and the top priority of course,,,, your children.

I am speaking from experience....it takes a lot of time, patience. My experience was YEARS ago and before I had my daughter or met my husband.

The GOOD NEWS::::: You can overcome it and be a stronger person. You can also get to the point of being a self confident woman have a very happy satisfying life. Keep a good positive attitude.

A lot of people suggest counseling and if that is right for you then do it. I prefered to work through it and come to terms myself.

Bottom line....do whatever it takes that works for you without pressure from anyone. You know yourself best.

Best wishes.

You need a good counselor. If you have a church, start there. It's hard, "I know" but you can trust again and get past the fear.

Hi T.,

First, your not alone in this. There are many others that have to deal with this situation. I am a survivor of it myself.

Our children are very good judge of character, if your child doesn't like someone, take it serious. Don't leave your child alone with someone till you know them well and your child has excepted them.

I would highly recommend some form of therapy for yourself. There is no shame in that and you deserve it. You can't let this control your life. I've been there and I know what it can do to not only you but the people in your life.

I've found God and I know that while this seems really difficult to deal with, your not alone. Remember that when you let this control you, then the person whom violated you also still controls you, you don't want that, take back your power.

I would also suggest that you ask Archangel Michael to look over and protect you and your child from such predators. You don't have to go to church to have a relationship with God or the angels. Talk to them, they will listen and help, but you must ask, they won't interfere without your permission. Just know they are there, sit quietly and talk to them, they hear you. Feel their presents and Love.

Love and Light,
Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.
www.reikigailhudson.com

T.,

I don't have any experience with this kind of situation, but you need to pray about this area in your life. Jesus Christ is the "Great Counselor." He is the perfect one that can fix every area of our life. I'm actually in a Bible Study right now call One In A Million and the very first week we talked about being in prisoned by things of Satan. I'm sure Satan uses this area in your life to keep you from enjoying the freedom we have in Christ and therefore you are missing out on the wonderful life Christ wants you to have. God Bless!

Trust men by being a friend first, specifically with no intentions. It's important that as Christians we learn to really be friendly and relational first to get to know a person. That too will diminish alot of our past hurt and pains that have happened to us in our past. Be Blessed!

I can totally understand why you wouldn't. Its hard to give adivce when I havent walked in your shoes. But seems you want to be a good parent. Good for you! Its ok to protect your baby. Nothing wrong there. Hard part is to be balanced so as not to instil a total fear to your child as well. Being that our children are a blessing from God (Psalms 127:3)trusting in Him (Proverbs 18:10) will help you make the best choices possible. Life is full of good things. May it all work out for you. Keep up your good work on being a good mom!

Lots and lots of counseling is what it took for me. Prayer and tons of work on myself. Sorry you are going through this, but I assure you although it isn't easy it can be done and life truly can be fulfilling.

Therapy, you must get some. Every large church as a staff therapist. There is a wonderful therapist at Lovers Lane UMC, call around and GO.

I think it is a matter of learning to have confidence in your discernment and going through a grieving process about what you were put through. If you are able to go to a professionas counselor, she could help you learn and overcome this. I would take this exact question with you, so you could use it as a 'goal'. It usually takes 3 to 5 appointments until you are able to see a bit of change in your thinking...of course it varies for everyone, but I'm just presenting a timeframe, if you do try it you'll give it a chance for awhile. You can overcome this!

You're not alone. The best thing I can recommend is good therapy. It did wonders for me. I've been happily married for 10 plus years. The funny thing is, I went against my "gut" when I went out with my hubby, cause my "gut" was always wrong before. I figured if I did the opposite, I'd be better off (this was after the therapy) - and I WAS.

Find a therapist you trust, be as honest with yourself and them as possible, and things will get better. It will take time, but it can get better.

I know where you are coming from. I worry to about this.

You are a faithful person so I am sure you do your fair share of praying, but these people are manipulative and can find a way for you to trust them. All I have to say is, yes, therapy would be a good idea, but more importantly listen to your child and educate your child. There are programs through the United Way that help teach children in a fun and interactive way what is right and wrong and at the same time not terrifying them of people. I wish I could remember what is was, but it was 2 years ago that I heard about this. Research online and see what materials or programs you can find.

I intend on educating my children in the next year or two about their body, what is wrong, what to do if something happens, stranger danger, 911, fire safety and so much more. We are here to guide our little explorers and I want to all that I can to teach them how to take care of themselves. They are so much smarter than people think.

God is good and God is great, but he doesn't take on 100% the roll of mother, teacher, wife, protector of my family. I have a responsibility to them and I fully intend to keep that. Remember too that many children of faith have been abused.

Stay strong and may you find a way to feel confident about your trust in the right people.