Living with a Little Screamer

L. I know, but you have to ignore it. otherwise you're giving him exactly what he wants. give him the attention the entire time he's behaving but when he gets out of control, you need to step away. it will take a while for him to get it but he will. good luck
vlora

I would second the poster who said teach him some signs, and also get him checked out medically. A combination of those two should really help stop the screaming.

That being said it's hard to know what is causing your child to scream online. There are different kinds of screams, also- like the random really loud yells, the uncontrollable fits of anger/sadness/rage/etc, and the I'm done with this screams, to name a couple.

He is at an age where he is realizing that certain sounds mean something. He hasn't and can't master which sounds mean what yet, but he has found that screaming means something, and is very effective. (Not that he is manipulating you, or anything like that, it is just that screaming is all the tools he has at his disposal at the moment. I do not suggest that you ignore him, but try and redirect, and give him ways to communicate what he needs so you can provide it)

For me, sometimes doing something very big and silly would distract my daughter enough to "break" the cry to where we could communicate again, but when she was all worked up, there was little anyone could do.

Also, at that age, she would get overstimulated by certain people. She needed to have some calm, soothing down time, and if she was around too much hepped up energy, she would pick up on it, and it would cause her to eventually have a melt down. Also, as I'm sure you know, that when you have a bad day, your child picks up on it, and also tends to have a bad day- in turn making each others day worse. It's normal, but it sucks.

Do not forget to schedule yourself some down time, also. If you are super stressed out, its hard to see solutions. Sometimes you need to have a break, in order to think clearly. Especially when you have a child who is stong willed, you need to set aside some you time. One can survive almost anything if you know there is an end in sight/there is a set period of time. While you are in this difficult phase, utilize all the support you can get in baby watching, general assistance around the house, friendly visits, whatever you can get.

Good luck, and know that this too shall pass. :)

L.-

I had posted a question with the scenario a while back. My son is now 15 months and does the same screaming things. I try to ignore but sometimes it is just not possible. Giving my son dirty looks when it does his screaming works sometimes. I hope your son stops screaming soon.

I'm so sorry L.! I really do know exactly how you feel. My son is now 25mos old and he has always had a problem with screaming. It doesn't matter if he's angry or happy or whatever, he just screams! I'm really beginning to think that he does just like the sound of his own voice... he is also a very 'high-strung' child, so that may have something to do with it too. I do feel like i'm losing my mind most of the time, but at others i just force myself to tune him out and distract myself with something. I just have to remember that it's his way of expressing himself. Most people while we're out even think it's cute that he gets so excited over things. A couple of things that will help you keep your sanity as your son gets older: 1) make sure he is well disciplined! While my son loves to run and scream at the top of his lungs, when i tell him to stop, he stops. He knows the rules and he knows the consequences when he breaks those rules. One book I would HIGHLY advise is "SOS:Help for Parents" by Lynn Clark, Ph.D. My pshchiatrist got it from one of her child pshchologist colleagues and gave it to me. It has worked WONDERS! It not only teaches you how to effectively discipline you kids WITHOUT SPANKING, it also help you to figure out what you might be doing to encourage your children to act out.
and 2) teach him signlanguage. One thing that i figured out was causing my son to scream so much was frustration because he couldn't effectively communicate. So i went to my local library and checked out a few SL videos. The series I found that he really responded well to was Signing Time. The lady who created the videos did so b/c she found out that her daughter was deaf and wanted to help teach family and friends how to communicate with her. She does the videos with her daughter, who is about 5 in the first few videos, and her nephew, who is a year younger than her daughter. The videos are absolutely adorable and incorporate everything with original music and themes. The great thing about SL is kids can pick it up as early as 6mos, unlike talking which can take much longer. My son is still having problems talking at 2yrs of age, but can sign full sentences in SL!
I hope i helped you even a little. Good luck!

I truly believe this is just a phase. He is frustrated b/c everyone around him is walking and talking and he cant communicate. He is probably just so fascinated with his own voice. If he is scared and upset, he needs to know you are there for him so he feels secure. But if he is screaming in your face, and laughs afterwards, or doesn't seem upset, I would just keep walking away from him. Maybe he will learn that screaming doesn't really get your attention. My friend has as a son that has a piercing scream - he screams when he's excited, for which she does nothing about, and he screams when he's upset, and then she screams overs him - in a playful way. But it gets his attention and gets him to stop. Hope any of this helps.

L.,
My daughter would scream at me all the time and I didn't know what she wanted. I started to notice that she would scream about certian things that she wanted if I didn't understand her she would get louder and louder untill I wanted to scream and sometimes did. So I taught her a few sign's for the things she screamed the most about. For instance,the signs for, more,eat,drink,all done.So instead of screaming in my face when she wanted another cracker,I would say what do you want?And she would sign more.I started with just one sign at a time and repeat it till they learn it.Then introduce a second one and so on. If this does not help you then I am sorry and I wish you luck,but if it helps you hold on to some of your sainaty like it did me then I'm happy. Plus it's just so cute watching them sign with those little fingers.I used the book(Complete Idiot's guide Baby Sign Language)RachaelF

I can completely relate, L.!! My daughter was a screamer, too. When I would pick her up from the babysitter's house, she would let out an ear-piercing, blood-curdling scream that nearly deafeaned me.

My solution?

Ear plugs.

If you're noise-sensitive, as I am, using ear plugs can be a life-saving technique. I find I am calmer when the children's noise level is dampened. I literally tune out the sound so I can actually hear what they are saying.

Try it for a while and see if it works. I wish you all the best. A warm embrace to you, and your little screamer! ;)

I had the same problem with my daughter (now 19 months) & god forbid I put her down you would think her world was coming to an end. I finally listen to what everybody was telling me to do which was let her cry it out. She was just trying to get control of the situation & she had to learn that she is not always going to have control of every situation in life. I know it is hard to listen to him scream believe me but you are going to have to let him learn that it is okay for him to express himself & you will be there when he truly needs you. It will probably take a week or two for him to adjust I used to just go in & reassure my daughter that she was okay & that mommy was still here but mommy had to cook dinner, wash clothes, or whatever else needed to be done. I am sure you know the different crys as to when you need to go to him & comfort or take care of his needs. Also have you talked to his doctor what have they told you?

I would first have your son checked out to make sure there isn't something that hurts. But usually a hurt scream is differnt from the 'look at me, you're not doing what I want' scream. I babysat for a little one who would scream just for the sake of making noise, and we eventually started putting him in the playpen and telling him "NO" very firmly everytime he screamed. Sometimes it seemed to help to put a hand to his mouth, just touching his lips and say "No screaming" it seemed to help him understand that the action with his mouth was the reason for being told no. It took a couple weeks but he finally got that screaming didn't get him anything he wanted.

My son went through this as well. I ended up taking him to the Dr. and said something has to be wrong with him. He is crying and screaming all the time. Turns out he had an ear infection. He didn't even run a fever. He stopped screaming so much after he got antibotics. He still had fits but it was not as bad. How long has he been like this?

Assuming you know there are no health problems do you look squarely at your son when he is doing this and in a strong firm voice say "NO, BAD" and walk away and ignore it? I beleive all children should know the word NO and that NO means NO otherwise you just get walked on.

i know just what you mean. my daughter did the same thing when she was about 9 monthes. she would scream all the time, and mostly for no reason. i guess it could be an attention thing, but after a month or so she stopped. she just like to hear the sound of her voice. hang in there, i'm sure it just a phase. but don't be affraid to give the doctor a call if you are worried about his hearing, it can't hurt.

good luck,
L.