Leaving Daughter (She Will Be 21 Months at the Time) for a Week Long Trip..

I would totally ask my in laws to come to my house and stay the week. Just tell them you are already having some issues with leaving her, and that you think it might be easier on her to be in her own environment for sleeping, etc. Keeping it as close to the truth as possible is usually the way to go.

If your husband's parents live close by, can you convince them (one of them?) to come to your house for the week? Since their cat is an outdoor cat, then they (one of them) can go home and feed the cat once a day. It would be best for your daughter if she was at home during this time, I would think. Plus, since you still have quite a lot of time until your trip you can practice having your in-laws watch your daughter at your house for a couple of overnights.

It's normal to be anxious the first time, but you need this time away! I left my twins when they were that age for a week long trip to Dallas. I came back happy and ready to spend quality time with my boys. You and your husband need some alone time for more than just a few hours. She will be fine at your inlaws. Is it like your house? Nope, but no one's is anyway. :)

do you have a sibling or a friend that will be able to take her?

If your child is not allergic to cats there's not really any reason she shouldn't be at the in-laws house. She is used to them.

The first time I left my son for 10 days, my mum watched him.

Why am I bringing this up?

Because my dad took 2 weeks off work so he could be there, too.

If your parents are involved grandparents, and you trust them, don't EXPECT them to take time off work, but sakes alive, give them the option! :) :) :) They may not want to take vacation time to watch their grandchild, or they may be thrilled to.

You have several months to start working this.

One thing I did, was to have my parents watch my son overnight 1 day a month.

He's 9 now. Occasionally we miss months (health, travel, etc.), but he's spent the night once a month with my mum for most of his life. Nana & Papa sleepovers are sacred things. He goes over to their house, because their own home is situated for them / easiest for them to be in... but I know many families who do things in reverse when it's travel time (people come to their house).

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your husband to have a conversation about his parents regarding your concerns with the cat odors. If your in-laws are going to be the primary babysitters while you are away, this is going to continue to be an issue. You might want to take care of it now while you can.

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com.

Don't go. You have a baby. I have 3 kids, ages 5 1/2, 4 1/2 and 11 months old. I have never gone on a week long trip without them. Going away for a couple's weekend would be a good idea. DON'T leave your baby for a week!

Oh my gosh I was probably raised in a house like this. Anyway, I am alive.As a gift you could bring them some of those cute Febreeze things and tell them she has had some sniffling going on lately. It'll clean up the air a bit. I would advise the same as another mother, let her start one day at a time because you don't want her going there with negativity anyway. Perhaps you could ask your relatives to do a handover: she stays at one place for a little while and then the other set of grandparents get her on a different set of days. And the outside cats, well, at least they are outside. You aren't freaking out, you are a mother who is madly in love with her child and want to leave her in the best possible hands. I don't think I was able to leave my children til they were eighteen. Oh wait, they left me. Ut oh, but then one returned.

Its hard enough for a mom to leave baby with someone for a week even when you have an excellent babysitting situation. I wouldn't dream of doing this without knowing your baby is in excellent hands. My grandparents came from out of town to stay with us, and many grandparents do, but you may need to wait unil they retire before planning such I trip. I would consider your brother out of the question. Who ever you leave your daughter with should be someone she already has a wonderful relationship with. I'd ask your parents first if they can come out to stay at your house. They may love the idea, they may not. Give them an out, "I realize this may be out of the question, but what do you think about....". If the local grandparents keep a clean house aside from the cat pee, then I'd pick them second. How dirty is it really? Yes germs are preferable to being left with someone she doesn't know well. The situation you describe would have me canceling my trip. I agree with pervious posters, you should practice this with a weekend trip first. I so wanted to be abel to answer you post and say you should go on the trip, don't worry, you need to focus on the marriage too. But if you don't have good babysitters then you should not go.

It is always hard to leave a little one. Given that you don't have an ideal situation to leave her in and this is not an emergency where you have to leave her, I would re-think the whole thing. Frankly, I think you would have more fun on an alternate trip with your child. Trust your instincts that this is not a good idea.

i think the ideal situation would be your parents watching her but being that they work full time i dont know how that would work unless one of them is willing to take a week off.. id say ur best bet is to see if your in laws will come to your house for the week to watch her.. if they ask why not their house i would just say it would just be so much easier for u guys and her to be here

I had surgery when my son was just 8 months old and spent 5 days in the hospital and then another week recovering at home, so I totally understand your anxiety about leaving her alone. And I promise you, this will hurt you more than your child. I agree with the suggestion that you should practice with an overnight or two and also see if your in-laws are willing to relocate to your house for the week. Make them feel better by saying you know its neurotic but that you're worried and think it would help your daughter feel more comfortable to keep her in her normal surroundings. If that doesn't work, let it go and try to have fun. Remember, they won't do anything on purpose to put your daughter, their grandchild, in jeopardy.

It sounds like your husband needs to respectfully talk to his parents about the cat smell and cleaning/dust issues.... make something up to avoid hurting their feelings if you must, like your little girl is allergic to cat hair and such and go there a day before you leave to help your mil do a good wipe down to get it 'allergy ready'.

I also agree with doing a few overnight stays to help her get used to it.

Your options

1) Ask your parents to take vacation to help. It is several months away. This is what my parents do when I have to go on a work trip or just need a weekend away.

2) Ask you inlaws to stay at your home

3.) Find someone you trust (maybe one of the day care teachers) to watch her while you are gone.

4) Don't go.

Well, given the choices you have presented us with, I would say have the in-laws keep her. Gross living conditions but I'm sure she'll be fine. Unless you believe it's absolutely unsanitary! Do you think they would be willing to stay at your house for the week? Maybe even offer to pay them a little to do so? Or make some frozen meals for them so that it will almost be like a little get away for them.??? It's just so much easier with a little one, to be in their own home. They don't get into things as much and I'm sure it's already baby proofed.

Honestly, just suck it up and ask your in-laws. They'll take good care of her.

I would beg/pay/bribe your inlaws to watch her at your house. When my daughter was 2, we left her with the inlaws who refused to stay at our house, even at night. They could come a day or two before you leave so she gets used to it. I really wish we had just taken her with us.