My husband has a short conference in early December in Las Vegas. My son and I went with him to his last conference in San Diego back in May. However, since Las Vegas is more of an adult destination with very little on the strip to excite a baby (except maybe the lights and fountains and people), we've decided that we're going to make this an "adults only" trip and leave our son with his grandparents in Indiana. We've been to their house numerous times before, and my in-laws have watched him for us before, so it won't be totally strange for him. However, this will be the first time that our son will be away from us for more than 12 hours at a time. He's literally been near me every day since he was born, and he's been sleeping with us in our bed since day one. So, what kinds of rules, if any, should we put into play and have followed by the in-laws while we're gone (besides the standard safety rules)? Should we try to encourage them to allow him to sleep in their bed with them? Or, should we have the Pack and Play set up and let them figure out how to get him to sleep on his own (something we've had a difficult time doing)? They have two other grandchildren who live literally two doors down from them, so they are very used to having children running around their house all the time. I know my niece and nephew have stayed over with them, too, but I don't exactly know how they handled sleeping arrangements. Also, how do you NOT feel guilty about leaving your child behind while you're trying to relax on a trip? This will be the first time that my husband and I will have some real time to ourselves in a long time, so I know this will be good for our relationship. I just know I'll miss my little guy and worry about how he's doing without me. So, how do you cope with that? Thanks for any advice!
It's been a few weeks since my husband and I had our trip, but I just wanted to thank everyone for their suggestions. We sent our Pack N' Play along with our son in case my in-laws wanted to try to use it. We never got the chance to try to get him to sleep on his own at home because my husband's schedule was pretty erratic the week before the trip, and I ended up getting sick, so I didn't feel like trying then, either. So, we left it up to the in-laws on how they wanted to do the sleeping arrangements, and they were perfectly fine with him in their bed, though they did try him on the floor next to the bed one night and the Pack N' Play another night. From what they told me, he did just fine with them, my sister- and brother-in-law, and his cousins. They even took him to see Santa! My husband and I were able to have a great adult vacation in Las Vegas. We checked in on our son about once a day, and I even missed calling my in-laws one evening and didn't feel too bad about it! Thanks for all of the advice! It was a much needed trip, and I was so happy to see my little guy after we got back. Also, he had some much needed time with his grandparents, so it was a good trip for everyone!
Don't feel guilty. You definitely need a break. I would not encourage your child to sleep with the grandparents. You are use to the baby being in your bed, they are not. I would worry about accidental suffication or crushing. I would take over your pack and play and just leave a few garments behind that you wore and put them in the pack and play for comfort. Enjoy your trip.
My husband and I just return from a week long trip to Monterey CA. We left Reese with his grandparents in Kansas. I basically wrote down his schedule during the day and his bedtime routine. I left instructions on feeding and the information necessary for medical care if needed.
The way I saw it is I trust them. They raised my husband and did a fabulous job. I called them twice a day and they emailed me pictures each day.
I would suggest giving them the tools they might need and then let them work with the sleep situation. If there is something you are adamant abot be sure to emphasize that.
Don't be afraid to leave you child. Remember, a happy mommy and daddy are better parents in the long run.
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You definitely should not feel quilty for leaving him! Trust me, I watch kids overnight and even for weeks at a time while they're parents are away on vacation or away for business. Just this past weekend I had my 4 & 6 year old cousins of which their parents hadn't gone on vacation in about 2/3 years, so they definitely needed it.
Sleeping is going to be a HUGE issue and it will probably be the biggest concern/issue with you leaving. If at all possible I would get him to sleep on his own prior to your trip. It will make things so much better and safer. What if your in-laws are deep sleepers and wont wake up if they roll over? eek! On the contrary, what if they do not feel comfortable sleeping with him and decide it's best to have him sleep on his own ...of which then your son will feel way to much stress with all that change at once. I would really really recommend that you try to get your son to sleep in his own bed. Start out by having him fall asleep with you or in your arms and then simply move him to his own bed. This would be an easy enough transition that you will have enough time to do prior to your trip. Then your in-laws could do the same... he can fall asleep in their arms or next to them and then they can move him in his pack n play. After the trip if you like the family bed you could always go back to it but for your sons sake it will make things a lot easier if he is able to sleep in his own bed prior to the trip.
Some other important things to remember are to leave his insurance card, just in case. Also type out a letter stating that you grant full permission for your in-laws to seek medical treatment and that you can be reached at ... (phone number). This is the only way that drs. will be allowed to treat your son in case of an emergency. It's one of those things that if you give it to your in laws then they prob wont need it but it's better safe then sorry.
Enjoy your vacation and remember absence makes the heart grow fonder (even when it comes to your children!). Definitely try not to worry. In the end just trust your in laws and know that they will always have your sons best interest in hand. What you are doing is perfectly fine and your definitely shouldn't feel quilty!
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I felt the same exact way you do the first time we spent time away from our daughter. I made a list of what she should eat, wrote out her daily and nightly routine, etc. What I found in the end is that the child adapts. Whatever works best for both the child and the grandparent is best in the end. There is no way things are going to be exactly the way they are at home. It all works out better than expected. Missing your child...this is tough...I simply called when I felt the need to see how my daughter was doing...good luck with the trip. I am sure it will all turn out better than expected.
I travel 25% of the time for my job and my parents who live in KY typically watch my daughter - and my son that is due any day now! My daughter sleeps w/me too - so at my parents, she sleeps with them. That was actually what caused the sleeping with me - I had my daughter in her own bed, but she always slept with them and had a hard time transitioning. Sigh - anyway - I also have special toys that are only at grammy & poppy's house for her. I make sure that they have food that she likes and that I call several times a day to check in - never too close to bedtime which can be upsetting. Now, my daughter who is three gets anxious about going w/out me, but she also has a lot of fun and has her own time and experiences. I think it is helping with her independence. Don't feel guilty - you will be a better parent if you can recharge you batteries every now and then.
My son was young when he started spending the night with his dad's parents (grandparents), as they watched him early many mornings so I could go to school, and we felt it better that he spend the night one or two nights a week than waking him up earlier than he is use to. I simply told them what I do and what I suggested, and quickly found out that they would do what they felt was best for him there on their own. I love them to death and trust them to keep my child safe, and it appears you do the same. So my suggestion is have the pack n play available for them to use, set it up, but also let them know how he sleeps at home with you guys. I would say as long as he is safe, that's number one. I don't know how young he is or his personality but grandma might try rocking him to sleep or laying next to him until he goes to sleep and then moving him to pack n play.
As for being away, call at night, have them hold the phone up to his ear and say good night, call in the morning you can do the same (as long as it does not upset him too much) and just call often to check on him to make you feel better if needed. Just know that every parent needs a break, every person, and you are leaving him with very loving people, not some stranger or someone he doesn't know. You can do it! :) Enjoy your vacation!
i don't know how old your baby is, but may be this will be a good experience for both you and him. You definitely need a break and he is getting older and needs to start to adjust to other people being around him.
That would be a good time for him to start to sleep in his own bed as well. The older he gets the harder it will be for you to get him off this habit. And you have to admit it is for your sake not for his he is in your bed. So let your in-laws know what your routine is, but trust me, they are experienced people they will do whats good for a baby.
Go have fun, never feel guilty about leaving baby with grandparents, i bet they gonna love spending time with him, i know i would, so you doing a favor to them as well
God bless your family.
If your son has always slept with you, I would encourage the grandparents to let him sleep with them if they are willing. You should write a list for them such as things your son will/can eat and what activities he enjoys. You might also need to mention the normal discipline used in your home so as to be consistent.
HOw did your hubby turn out?? if he turned out ok then the lil guy should be just fine... i know how you feel tho my daughters both stayed with my stepdad from a very young age and it can be scary. but you wont be gone too long and their is family right down the street with 2 kiddos so im sure their parents can help... as far as sleeping dont make rules just say this is how we do it you can try another way and if that doesnt work feel free to put him in bed with you... have a good time on your trip!
I'm not sure what to tell you. My children are almost 4 and 1 year. I've not been able to leave them with in-laws or my parents because I don't think I can be without them.
If you get any good information. I'd love to hear about it:)
Good luck and enjoy your trip!
You have gotten a lot of great advice, so I won't write much. I just wanted to tell you what I think that helps me leave my kids with grandparents when I need to. I remind myself that the relationship with grandparents is an important one in a child's life, and leaving him overnight once in a while can cultivate that relationship. I have wonderful memories of spending the night with my grandparents as a child, and my parents' confidence in their ability to love and care for me was key in my adjustment and enjoyment of that time with them. I want my kids to have similar memories with their grandparents, so I remind myself that they need the time away as much as I do whenever I have to leave them. We don't do it much, but it is a fun experience that they love when we do leave them with grandparents.
I know your baby is young still, but something to remember in the future: I tell my kids that I love them and think about them when I'm gone, but I try not to say how much I miss them and try to elicit that from them. My daughter (5 years old) spent the week with grandparents this summer, and when I called to talk to her one day she said, "I don't miss you. I actually haven't thought of you at all." I told her I was glad. How nice it is to know that she is having fun and not worrying about me. She was happy to see me when we picked her up, but she was happy to be with Grandpa and Grandma when we were gone.
Dont feel bad! Have confidence in your inlaws, they'll do fine. This might be a good time to start moving your little one into his own bed and out of yours-I have heard that kids in bed are a huge hinderance to marriages. Best of luck, and relax, enjoy a great weekend with your husband.
I would tell the in-laws that your son sleeps with you but still bring the pack n play, this way they can try the pack n play if they want. You don't say how old your son is, but I can tell you, grandparents really nly pay attention to the safety rules anyways. As far as feeling guilty, DON"T YOU DARE!!! We all need some time with just our spouses. It is natural to feel guilty but the only thing that will do is ruin your trip! You will be in Vegas so have fun! I have 3 kids, two are teenagers and 1 is a six yr old severely disabled child, so believe me I know how you feel! I would let your in-laws know that you will be calling, not to check on them, but because you want to.
Have a great time!!!!
That's wonderful that you're getting away for a few days. Just enjoy yourself and try not to check in on him too often! The guilt will always be there of course; it's just one part of being a great mom. All you can do is try to relieve some of your own anxiety by making sure that his stay will be as comfortable as possible for him. I love the idea about making a big list. Include what he likes to do for playtime, what he likes to eat and what his bedtime routine is. Does he have a transitional object like a blanket or stuffed animal? If not, leave him with something that reminds him of home...one of your t-shirts or something. Lastly, I heard about this great idea that I plan to do next time I go out of town. If you have time, make a video of you and your husband talking into the camera, telling him how much you love him and miss him, that you'll be back soon...maybe make a fun, puppet show out of it. Have a great trip!
Not really sure how to address leaving him with your in'laws because my son has only stayed with my mom or grandma. BUT - how not to feel guilty on your trip - Don't set rules that you can't "talk about him" or anthing like that. It won't work and only makes you miss him more. Take a photo of him with you and call to check in as often as you need, but set aside "adult time" when you focus on your self and your husband. It is okay to relax and let your hair down. It took me 4 years to do so. You will be a refreshed mommy and your son will appreciate your relaxation when you return. Have fun!
A., if you trust your in-laws enough to keep your child while you're away, trust them enough to know how to care for him without "rules and regulations". Know they will spoil him a little. Know they won't do things exactly like you and your husband do. But know too they managed to raise your husband and his siblings as well as to be good grandparents to your nieces and nephews. Enjoy your trip. They'll figure the rest out as they go.
