Wondering What Age Your Children Start Grandparent Sleepovers?

my daughter is 3 and still hasnt spent a night away from me. I dont understand why they would need a sleepover at this age. I used to stay with my grandparents but not until I'd hit grade school, I think.

6 months is too young.
Mine were at least 3 yrs before mine stayed over.
Before then, Babies need their mommies. Many times mommy is the only person that can make them feel better.
You are totally right they are too young it's not silly.
There's a difference in a sleep over and babysitting.
At 6 months it's babysitting.

I think they are way to young. My rule was my kids had to be potty trained and could stay over and be fine. So for me at age 3 or 4 was good for my kids.

To me, "sleepovers" and babysitting are two different things. We babysat our grandkids when they less than a month old. My wife is the ideal grandmother.

My grandkids started doing sleepovers around two to 3 years old. They were old enough to play and recognize Grandma and Grandpa as special and have fun with them/us.

Good luck to you and yours.

My daughter is 28 months. She has slept over at grandma's once, when she was 23 months, because her baby brother had surgery really early in the morning.

When she tells me she wants to sleep over there, she can sleep over. Till then, I'm not going to push it. In short, I will feel comfortable when she feels comfortable.

DS spent the entire weekend at his grandparent's house when he was 6 weeks old, and we've done that fairly frequently ever since!
We were in a wedding out of town, the first time around. Now, we schedule those sleepovers just for a nice weekend together!

If we didn't have those, we'd be crazy by now. So I do think you're nuts. :) DH and I have taken several long weekends, overnights, etc... (DS is now 2). It keeps us sane and connected, and the grandparents get time with the kiddo. I've never questioned either set our of parent's ability or comfort with taking care of him, so I've never given it a second thought as to whether or not we should leave him.

Give yourself a break and send them off!

(BTW: my parents are mid-50's, and DH's parents are in their 60's approaching 70)

My MIL would say NO WAY. She'd say to wait till they're 2 years old. But I am not quite like her. I'd say that if YOU are NOT comfortable, then YOU should not do it. Wait till you are ready for a night off and then bring them to grandmas.

So I don't think there's a right or wrong answer about what age is appropriate. Depends on whether they sleep through the night, whether grandma will hear them and come help them. Depends on if you're nursing and how well they take a bottle with breastmilk from grandma. If babies have never taken such bottle from grandma, try that first so they can get used to taking it from her.

My son (since I'm at SAHM) didn't spend the night with his Nana without me there until he was 2 years and 2 months (when we went to a late-night wedding). Now that wasn't because of my MIL and her opinion, but because I'm a SAHM and my husband doesn't really want my son around my mom too much if I am available (which I am) to take care of him.

My response is going to be very different from anyone else. I just don't understand this sleeping at grandparents house. I never did this growing up and I would never ask my in-laws or even my own mother to do this unless it was absolutely some sort of emergency. I would be such a wreck if my daughter did sleep at one of their houses. My mother and my in-laws have raised their kids I would feel awful asking them to take mine even just for one night. We do not vacation without her, if hubby and I need time alone then it's after she goes to bed. But this is just my opinion and I know I am in the minority here. Do what feels comfortable to you. But are you sure they can handle two 3 month (adj) olds through the night?

When we went home from the hospital - we moved to my parents house since I was having a terrible recovery from my c-section and complications. So I guess technically, my son slept at his grandparents when he was 6 days old:) In terms of leaving him - he was probably 3 months or less. My mom told me that if we started doing that early on it wouldn't be anything he had to adjust to - it would just be a part of his life. He started asking to sleep at Grandma's before he was 18 months old. (You go home Mama - I night night G'ma). I cried because I couldn't believe he wanted to stay on his own but he knew what he was doing and did great. We live about 40 minutes from my parents.

My parents have been fabulous. They bought car seats (first infant and then regular), bought a crib (not the same as mine but also white so it was a long time before he noticed that they were different), have a high chair, have a monitor, gave my son his own "room" (used to be the guest room) and now that he is 4 - he has a big boy bed (twin with a railing) and it is decorated in dinosaurs! Honestly, we couldn't ask for better. We are expecting #2 next month and are grateful that we have such a wonderful support system.

As long as both of you are comfortable - take the night off and be glad you can. You will get the best sleep because you won't have to listen for anyone! I can't wait for my parents to offer to take my son the next time - I'm exhausted!

C.

My son first spent the night with the grandparents when he was 10 months old. We had just been thru Katrina and needed a break and grandma and grandpa were more than happy to have big man for the night.

There really is no age guideline. It's what your feel comfortable with. Mom and dad need a break too and if the grandparents are willing, able,competent and comfortable taking care of the little ones there is no reason why they can't stay overnight. My kids and their cousins all stay over with the grandparents from time to time. If we are going out of town, or just to give mom and dad a night out, a night of full sleep to recharge and rest and the kids love spending time with and getting spoiled silly by the grandparents. It's nothing unusual in our family for the little ones to spend the night with grandma and grandpa. As long as you are comfortable and the g-parents house is fully baby-proofed then it whenever you want to.

I do understand your feelings. My son was 2 months early and it's scary to give up any of that control we've had over caring for them so carefully! When the time is right, you'll know.

My oldest slept with my inlaws at 22 months, the night her brother was born. From then on ( she is almost 4) she has slept with my in laws or my parents about once every 6 weeks or so. We just started letting her brother go with her (he will be 2 next week). I nursed my kids and even after they were old enough to not nurse at night I still waited till they completely weaned (both around 20 months) to start spending the night. It is tough to let them go, don't push yourself or your kids, do it when your gut says too.

My daughter spent the night at my moms for the 1st time when she was 2. We were having an adults only birthday party for my husband at the time. Also, my mom only lives 4 houses away :-) and we picked her up the next morning.

My mom was ready to take my kids when they (3 boys) were born. It was around 6–8 months before I let my mom have them over for the night. Of course, each one did better with her then with me. Enjoy the fact your in-laws and/or parents want to take the kids for a night. Have a date night with your husband. It helps with the insanity and allows the two of you alone time and adult time. We try to have a date night once a month. Good luck. --L.

My twins are now 4 and have never stayed at either grandparents house. they are in there 60's and 70's and can't really handle it. if your parents are younger and really reliable I would do it when you feel ready. Good luck :)

My girls are 21 and 10 months and only my oldest ever slept without us and that was the night I went into preterm labor!

My son slept over at grandma's for the first time at 2 years of age....when his brother was born. It was a tough night, although not bad, just a new experience for him. He has done it since at age 2 1/2 when I had to work overnight and his brother was with me. It went better and he now asks to do it, although at the end of the night, he still asks for mom and dad, so we haven't done it again.

The reason I wouldn't do it...but it's up to you and your parents, is that my parents are in their late 60s and an active night, with at least one waking, and a morning that starts at 6am is rough for them.

I don't think you're nuts, I personally would never leave a 6 month old unless it were an emergency, with anyone, including my parents. We cosleep and nurse on demand so that isn't really conducive to early sleepovers anyways.

It's really your call..don't feel bad for anything. You sound like a great mom.
...follow your intuition!

If you trust the grandparents then it is fine. I totally trusted my Mom. I figured the kids were actually safer with her because she was a worrier and hovered. If the folks have the same parenting ideas as you, then all should be fine!

My son spent the night with my parents when he was six months old. I looked at it this way: despite the fact that my parents know what they're doing, looking after an infant hasn't changed since we were babies, and if anything happened, they'd call and let me know. But you need to feel comfortable with it and there is nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable with it, they're your babies and if you're first time parents, then take your time. Good luck.

My daughter stayed with my parents for the first time when she was 6 months. I was in my best friend's wedding in Mexico so she split 4 nights btw mine and my husband's parents. (to make it "fair" for both grandparents. guh. haha) I made sure they had plenty of my pumped milk, sent her usual blanket, bunny, and comfort stuff. My parents bought the same crib machine that my daughter has in her crib so it would be familiar and that helped A LOT. I was a basketcase about having to leave her but I knew she was fine, and she would be so excited to see us when we got home. Since then, she has stayed with both grandparents a handful of times, she's now 18 months, but I still hate not having her here with us although she's always ok and we've never had a problem. I think no matter their age, you will always be a little nervous about it every single time. Just relax though, I am sure yall could use a break. :)

You already said your "what happened", but I wanted to say that both of my kids stayed with my mom and dad when they were really little.
My first baby...it was out of necessity. I got so sick I couldn't take care of myself, let alone. My mom stayed with me during the day and then took the baby home with her at night so I could sleep and get well.
10 years later, same thing with my son.
They LOVED staying with Grandma and Grandpa!

I guess it didn't seem weird to us because when I was born, my mom almost died and when I got to leave the hospital as a newborn, my mom had to stay for a long time. So, my grandma and grandpa took me home with them. My dad worked and spent as much time with my mom at the hospital as he could.
Even when she got to come home, grandma and grandpa took me to stay and have some mommy time. But their house was my second home. When I was 3 and my little sister was born, guess where I stayed?
I had the most wonderful, close, and awesome relationship with my grandparents. In all my life, it's one of my greatest blessings and one of the things I'm most thankful for.
I wanted that for my kids too.
In my family, it wasn't weird for kids to stay with grandparents.
My sister and I would spend entire summers with our grandparents.
If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it, but it never harmed me or my children.
My mom is the only grandparent left. Everyone else has passed away, but my kids have happy memories and to me, that is really important.

Best wishes.

i agree with julie b. if they are sleeping through the night, it's not too young, especially if you are needing a night away.

i would not personally make a habit of it, but i do like the idea of helping the kids be comfortable enough with the grandparents to spend the night. my 3yo LOVES overnights at their house now. i still don't like to be away from her, but it's good for her to have that close relationship with them.

My daughter started sleeping over at my parents when she was 6 weeks old - then about 1x a month until she was 2. Now that I have a 10 month old and almost three year old, they have only together slept over there 2x. My son is still not a great sleeper, so he does not spend the night there. My daughter still does - but it's more rare - maybe 1x every few months.

I think it's all what you are comfortable with. If you are not comfortable leaving them yet, then don't do it. My kids have never spent the night at my in laws - and that is my hubby's choice. Good luck!

I was going to say one thing but after lookig your edit I don't think is a good idea. I am glad that your FIL is a friendly drinker, but still dangerous. I am not saying he would hurt the babies, but if something happen to him how your MIL could deal with him and the twins.
I am sorry your FIL drink so much everyday but that is a whole new post, I think is great that they can bound with your kids but you and your husband have to think in what is safe.
Perhaps they can stay at your house if they want a sleepover?

Any age is JUST FINE if Grandma is up for it. Look at it this way, if I was a grandma (thank goodness I'm not yet) and I offered to my daughter to take the baby overnight, and she said, "no, they are too young," or "I don't feel comfortable with it," I would be hurt and a little mad. How will you feel when your twins make you a Grandma and they say "no" to sleepovers? I'll bet you will feel the same way :)

Good luck.

My mum would periodically sleep over at OUR house (so DH and I could have a late date) while kiddo was still an infant and being nursed. He slept over for the first time at her house for our anniversary when he was just barely a year old.

My first 10 day trip where he stayed with my mum he was 2.

I don't think there is a right or wrong age to begin sleepovers, just whether you feel comfortable or not. My mom kept my son at 2 weeks because I was really struggling with sleep. Of course, I was nervous, felt like a bad mom, but being able to sleep made all the difference for me and I trust my mother completely. I remember it was so nice. My husband made me dinner and then we went to sleep for like 14 hours!!!! So, if you trust your inlaws, I would let them keep your babies. All the best!

Our first son slept at my moms house at 4 months. It wasn't by my choice. Our son was a pretty sick baby, which meant that I hardly got any sleep. We were visiting my mom and I fell asleep as she was talking to me! When I woke up she sent me home w/o the baby. I cried the whole way and felt like a bad mom becasue part of me was relieved that I could have one night to actually sleep. He is almost 2 and has had probably about 4 sleep overs at grandmas.

Our little guy is 7 months, he hasn't slept away from us yet. Partially because it is too much for her to take 2 kids under 2.

IMO, this is such a personal decision. There are very few people I would allow to watch my kids overnight. And I personally don't like to have them sleep away from home on a regular basis. I am fine with doing it every now and then for a treat to them, or a treat to us ;-)

My in-laws stayed overnight with our first when he was 2 months old so we could go somewhere overnight for our anniversary. He stayed at their house for about 2 or 3 nights when he was around 6 months old while we were at camp. When we had both boys, they stayed overnight for 2 nights while I was at a conference when my older one was just over 2 and the younger was about 6 months. The time with both was rough because my younger child was very sick and we ran out of breastmilk. The formula experience was so bad, on top of the illness, he threw it up all up and just cried. Every child is different. My husband and I completely trust his parents to watch our kids, but it can really depend on what the child needs--my younger one is still more clingy at night and has a harder time being away from me, but they have managed it. It can be a nice way for you and your husband to get a break, so if you want that overnight away but part of your concern is environment, you could invite the grandparents to stay in your home with the babies and stay someplace nearby yourselves.

I think my parents took my son for a sleepover at around 6 months. You aren't nuts! Good luck!

My son stayed the night at the grandparents (in-laws) the first time at around 3 months old.

My mom started taking my boys when they could sleep through the night on a regular basis. For my oldest, this was at 18 months and for my youngest, this was at 12 months. My youngest actually could have gone sooner, but he was still nursing and my mom didn't want to chance him waking up in the night expecting me to comfort him. And just so you know you aren't the only paranoid parent out there... my kids are only allowed to spend the night alone at my mother's until they are at least 4. I don't feel that any other family member is close enough to them to provide the right kind of care, should they need it. :-) Call me crazy!

You have to go with your gut. My daughter is almost four and she hasn't slept over at grandmas without us yet because we live almost three hours away. If anything happened and we were that far away, I'd probably get arrested trying to get to her. I'm just not ready yet, even if everyone else might be.

if you are lucky enough to have parents and in-laws that will follow all of your rules and notjust do what they think is right then go ahead when you are ready. My mom was totally willing to follow all rulesso she watched my daughter at 6 months. My MIL watched my daughter at 10 months and broke every rule I gave her. She put my daughter in a walker that I had told her was sooo unsafe and gave her 4 different foods that she hadn't been introduced to yet.

My son slept over at my in-laws house at about 6 months of age. I was really nervous (and they only live across the street). But I totally trust my in-laws and I was so glad that we did it. My husband and I went out to eat and then came home and slept for about 12 hours!!! Since then my son has slept over with Grandma and Grandpa several times; anniversary, late night wedding, just to have time for ourselves. But I know you have to do what you feel is best for your family. I say give it a try...you may really like the break!!

My husband and I have a rule that our children will not be staying the night anywhere until they are able to talk, and use the restroom on their own. That being said when that time comes they will still always be my babies and I don't know if I like the thought of not seeing them snug and safe in their own beds at home :) So we'll see I'm sure they will be much older before we talk about sleep overs!

Updated

My husband and I have a rule that our children will not be staying the night anywhere until they are able to talk, and use the restroom on their own. That being said when that time comes they will still always be my babies and I don't know if I like the thought of not seeing them snug and safe in their own beds at home :) So we'll see I'm sure they will be much older before we talk about sleep overs!

Assuming that you completely trust grandma and grandpa, the room is baby proofed to today's standards and there is no weirdo "uncle" living in the basement, I say drop them off. The sooner the better. The sooner you do it, the more regular the routine will get. Let them get used to it - and by them I mean not only the kids - but grandma and grandpa, too. I think that there is no better thing in life then to be close with a grandparent(s). There is such a special bond and a lifetime of memories.

Also, it's great for you to have some alone time. I'm jealous that you have that option.

Because I completely trust and have all the confidence in both sets of grandparents, my little guy stayed with them around the 3 month mark.

Go with what is comfortable for you AND the grandparent(s). Some grandparents love the chance to have the grandbabies all to themselves for a bit, some not so much. I know of some whose kids always seem to be with grandma and grandpa. Personally that is asking too much from the grandparents.

When my son was born, my MIL jumped at the chance to watch him a day or two each week, when I went back to work. The rest of the time it was SIL, whom we paid. (At least that was the arrangement for the first year and a half.) My dad has always been willing to help us out by watching him from time to time, or when we are in a bind. However, none of them has ever had him for a sleepover. Now that my son is now 3yrs and potty trained, my dad has just recently mentioned maybe having my son stay over sometime. My response was "say the word and he's yours!" :o) Although, I will never pressure him about it.

We started at 4 months for our first and around 5 for our second because he was later in sleeping through the night. I didn't want to leave them with my parents or MIL if they were still getting up during the night, but the minute they started sleeping through -we let them spend the night. It was so nice!

Do yourselves a favor and take advantage of the grandparents! If they want to keep your kids -let them! It's great for you and your marriage, and many people aren't so lucky to have nearby grandparents or ones that are alive or well.

Just remember -these people raised you and your husband -they'll be even better to your kids than they were to you!

You already updated, but I just wanted to let you know I completely agree with waiting.
My son is 19 months and still hasn't slept over at grammas or grandpas. Not because I don't trust them..... but because he's MY son and I think it would be very hard on both of us.
As another mom said- dealing with one little baby is hard enough at night- but two? VERY hard. And not knowing how old gramma is... well I wouldn't feel comfortable with it.
Good for you and your husband for sticking with what you feel is right! :)