Kindergarten Blues - Milford,NH

I would 1. give it some time and 2. talk to the teacher to see if they can offer any additional pointers on the situation. these are the skills they need to work on at this age so he/she may have some insight.

I' d set up a meeting with the teacher as soon as possible. We really hesitated about sending our son (an Aug birthday) to kinder last year and one of the kinder teachers told me to go ahead and try it. They usually know in the first few weeks if they are just too young or if they are going to do ok.

Your little guys sound like he might benefit from going to pre-k another year unless you can really get support from his teacher. Many times young kinders can be academically ready, but not socially ready. If he's able to make it though you might think about having him repeat kinder anyway, just to be more comfortable socially and get a good start. I know a couple of families who have done this and are grateful that they did.

Good luck!

Kindergarteners... do not make "BFF's" right away.
And even if they do... "friends" often change everyday.
This is how it is at this age.

Not until say, 2nd grade, 'regular' friends are more regular.

Your son is not unusual.
He JUST started Kindergarten.
Give him time.
He's only been there 1 week.
If you worked at a brand new company/office.... or joined a club etc., HOW long, would it take you to make a friend or friends, or a BFF????

Nothing is wrong with your son.

You need to teach him to be HIMSELF.
Don't compare him to others... or he will feed off of you.
TEACH him that all kids are different and unique.
NO ONE IS THE SAME... and that is cool.

My son is in Kindergarten now. He doesn't speak like an orator. Fine. He makes friends ON his own IF he wants. My daughter in Kindergarten was the same way.
I was PROUD of them... because they KNOW who they are and they are themselves.... and they go by their cues.
THAT is a good thing.
I never compare my kids' social habits to other kids.

Just teach him... to be HIMSELF. THAT Is how, a child gains self-assurance and confidence in themselves.
And do not compare him.
And show you are PROUD of him.
A child does not have to have, a whole bunch of friends.

At this age... this is common.

Well, it's only been a week. Talk to his teacher about hiw he interacts and maybe she can help. Look at some confidence building extra curricular things like martial arts or whatever he might be into. Good luck -I know that's a hard situation!

I think I would talk to the teacher and ask her if she could help begin some friendships by having buddies for activities or trips down the hallway. It does take time, so don't panic just yet. Also, if the school has a counselor they sometimes do friendship groups. Chances are your little guy isn't the only one having trouble making friends. I am guessing that the teacher might have sent him to the office so the principal could reassure him that he is safe and that his classmates won't hurt him. If that's the case he/she has already noticed that your child is having trouble and will probably be very willing to help if you ask. They might not have mentioned it because he wasn't in trouble.
Hang in there.

Can you enroll him in a group activity or sport, such as soccer, or T-Ball, or something like that?

Teachers and principals are your resources in your child's school. Do not hesitate to contact them with your concerns.

As mentioned previously, contact the teacher and ask for hints for making friends and through this s/he will know to be on the lookout for potential buddies, and can maybe even help out. Let the teacher know your child said, "I'm scared on my new classmates." The teacher has likely encountered this scenario before, and may have ideas about what you, he and s/he can do. Part of kindergarten is learning social skills, and the teacher will likely be eager to learn some information from your about your son so that s/he can help your son adjust to his new environment as easily and quickly as possible.

Ask for an evaluation about whether he needs a year of "early fives."
Your comment about being too young to be in sports also is a clue. Most teachers keep their own children back with late in the year birthdays.

If for some reason it is difficult to meet with the teacher (due to your schedule), you could write an e-mail about what you know about your child and what you would like the teacher to be on the lookout for. Welcome a response in about three days time.

And most certainly, you can ask about your child having been sent to visit the principal and then what happened while he was there. Elementary principals work to get to know every child in the school, so don't be wary of office visits, but do ask about any visit that occurs.

Breathe. Find some soothing activities to do when he comes home from school for him to do alone or with you, let him volunteer information about his day after some one-on-one time with you.

I hope this helps. Take care.

my daughter is similar. she was in preschool daycare 2 days a week.. and played alone.. she intereacted more with the teachers than the kids.

we went to kindegarden open house.. she saw all of her clasmates.. after the open house we asked her if htere were any kids there that she would like to be friends with.. and she said no not really. her brother my son.. is a social butterfly.. has many friends.

your son may not be unhappy.. he can do fine in his schoolwork if he is shy.... I have taken my daughter to kindermusik.. dance class, soccer team, art classes.. library story times at many differnt libraries..

If your son is in full day kinder he may be too tired out for extra activities.. but anything that you can take him to so he can be around other kids will help.. even going to macdonald playgrounds and playing with other kids can help.

Can you homeschool? They have social groups and co-ops and stuff, so he'd still get social interaction, but it wouldn't be too much for him. I know not everyone can homeschool, but I just thought I'd throw it out there. I'd be heart broken too. (((hugs)))

First get him some help for his speech. Either get him a therapist or work on it every day with him.

The next thing I would do is work on getting him out of that shell. I make my 5 year old ask for her own ice skates, order her own nachos and pay for them as well. She struggles with the thought of being the first to speak, but she does it. She even met a 5th grader at the shoe store that would be going to the same school and she wanted to know her name. I said, if you want to know you have to ask her. She finally did and they seem to enjoy bumping into each other in the halls.

Start with making him order his own food or snack if he wants it that bad.

Oh my goodness. This has only been a week. They are kept so busy, he probably hasn't had time to make "friends" but has had a little interaction at least.

If he is shy, it will just take him a little longer.

Make an appt. to speak with the teacher and tell her how you fee.

"Going to the Principals office" or "being sent to the Principals Office" is not like it used to be. Sometimes children are sent in there to have a heart to heart. Or to be reassured they are doing fine.. Or so that the Principal can get an idea of a child's personality, because the teacher has requested assistance evaluating what type of a child they have.

Since it has only been a week, maybe his teacher wants to help your son, but has not had enough alone time with him, to know what he is needing. This is not bad, I know teachers of new students do this all of the time..

Do not freak out. Also do not concentrate on the negative or see only the negative.. Talk up how well he is walking into the classroom. That you want to know what story was read to them?.. What is the funnest thing they did at school that day? Who does he sit next to in class? How id he sit next to at lunch? What are the other kids eating at lunch time?

Maybe get a riddle book or a joke book and help him learn a new joke or riddle he can share.

It is so hard to not be able to help our children in these new situations, but given enough time, he is going to find his way and feel so good about how he was once so shy , but then has a friend or a few friends.. He can do this..

Get in the class and volunteer if you can. Start to see which kids seem to be his personality, start to make friends with the moms and have them over or meet you for a playdate after school. I really wouldn't worry too much, kids tend to make friends easily and I bet it is just new to him and maybe a bit overwhelming so soon into the new year. Maybe it is good you are not there to help him to teach him to self soothe and make friends on his own. K is so busy these days that I wonder how many kids have time for friends. My daughter started K and they are busy from minute one.
I think volunteering will help you as well, you will be there to see how he reacts and you can meet other moms too. I am friends with many moms in the school now, some I met through the preschool and others I met just introducing myself. Then you invite them to lunch or over your house to play. School just started, you have time, just relax and watch things work out.
ps/ I just read your 'what happened'..you need to contact the teacher asap and ask what really happened and why you were not contacted and why he was sent to the Princ. that sounds a bit excessive to send him to the Princ on the 3rd day....

It is definitely your right to know why your son went to the principal's office. Either send a note to the teacher or call the school on Tues. You can help your son better understand what happened if you know what happened. It also wouldn't hurt to ask the teacher if you could set up a meeting to discuss your concerns. Say you want to make sure that kindergarten is a positive experience for your son and you want to help in any way you can.

Good luck!

He will prob do better one on one, invite one child at a time to your house to play

My daughter was kind of the same way. I started observing kids every time I dropped her off or picked her up and observe if there are kids just like her. Then I would point out to her the things I see similar (the other kid likes books same as her, or is wearing a pink dress and possibly likes the same color like her..etc) Then I told her that when she is ready, maybe she could approach that kid someday and ask them to play with her. It worked some! It just gave her opportunities to try making friends. Also, I asked her to tell me if she wants to be friends with someone then maybe I could set up a playground time for her and the other "friend". She did, so I approached the parent and told them about the problem and they were very helpful. We scheduled a playground time after school. They got to know each other outside. They had one on one time to get to know each other, and it started from there.
Also, I read books about making friends in school. One particular book I like is "Enrico starts school" by Charlotte Middleton. It kind of gave her and I some peace that someday she will find a friend that is just like her and who will like her for being herself.