Kids Taunting My 4 Year Old Daughter Because of Her Weight

This makes me a bit angry for you because I question what the camp counselors are doing????

Have you explained her condition to the counselors - why are they not hearing and or addressing this.

So my advice is to one day after you drop her off say something in private to the lead counselor. The children whp are name callingneed to be addressed individually.

I would take your concerns to the day camp director. I am a teacher and my #1 priority for my students is to create and maintain a safe climate so that kids feel comfortable to learn and express themselves. Normally I would recommend first going to her teacher/camp counselor, but in this case since bullying/harassing is occurring I'd request to speak with them both at the same time. And, although you may be (understandably) fuming at this point, try to remain objective and rational during the discussion. Use "I" statements and tell things from your daughter's perspectives (as in, "She's let me know that others have made comments about her weight and they are really chipping away at her self-esteem and are hurtful" as opposed to "Why do you allow these terrible kids to be so mean and cruel to each other?"). Speak on her behalf and try to be as specific as possible. This is not a "You're not doing your job"; this is a "Did you know that some kids are saying/doing things to make this an unsafe environment and I just want to be sure that every kid has a chance to feel comfortable while under your supervision."

You may also wish to work with your daughter through role-play to help diffuse some of these conversations with her peers. Give her the opportunity to practice what she might say or how she might react when she is teased.

I'm so sorry you and she are going through this. Hopefully it will clear up. Hang in there and keep telling her that she's your super-capable, super-beautiful super star!

First off, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Four seems to be the age when mean behavior sets in. At least that has been my experience. My daughter just turned 5, and this past year at preschool we experienced a bully. Girls seem to be meaner than boys - they use words to hurt, and at this age, the kids are so literal, they take everything to heart.

The first thing I would do (and you may have already done this) is to contact the camp director. Most camps we've been involved with have teens or college students as counselors, so I'd skip on to the adult in charge. Explain the bullying and your daughter's medical condition. They should have a talk with the kids in question and lay down the law that teasing is not acceptable.

I would also arm your daughter with responses. You can start with things like, "it hurts my feelings when you..." which of course only works when the aggressor doesn't mean to hurt feelings. Sometimes it works, but if they meant their words to cause pain, it has no effect. Next, she can tell the kids, "you have very bad manners." This one seemed to work best as it tosses things back in the other kid's court. When my daughter used this one on the girl who was being mean, it kind of shocked her and she didn't know how to respond. The girl backed off. Another phrase to teach her is, "you may not speak to me like that." Again, it shocks the kid and they don't know how to respond.

Our situation was different, and with only only girl. She tried to push my kid around, and made her cry. Once my daughter knew she could respond (and knew what she could say) she felt empowered. In the end, she stopped playing with the "mean girl" and when she started ignoring the girl, the girl desperately tried to be friends. My daughter would have none of it! I think teaching her those phrases really helped her confidence. There have been no further incidents for us.

Hope it helps! Best of luck!

try to teach your daughter to tell the other kids that she doesn't like it when they call her that or it hurts her feelings when they say that. four-year-olds really do respond to that.
also, make sure the teachers are addressing it with the group! they might not be aware of it or realize there is something they can do about it. this is a critical age for developing empathy and respect for differences in kids (and in the ability to stand up for yourself and others). there is no reason for the adults in charge to allow that type of behavior, but the way it is addressed is very important. just telling them not to say it will probably not help! the kids will just get sneaky about it.
summer camp counselors don't always have the experience that regular school teachers have, so they might not know what to do about it, so you will probably need to take it up with the director.
best of luck to you and your little one.

I would take her out of the camp. Mean words can be very damaging to a child at this age. My guess is the people running the camp don't know how to handle these types of issues and will let them continue. This is just not the right camp for her. I would say take her out of the camp since it is not required. I am sure she is wonderful and it is best to surround her with people that appreciate her as much as possible. I hope her school will be good at dealing with any situations like this that may come up.

My kids have suffered from the effects of bullying. I wish that the following book had been available when they were growing up. It looks like it could be very helpful...

http://www.amazon.com/McGraws-Life-Strategies-Dealing-Bul...

And maybe you could get some ideas from his other book too, even though your daughter's weight issues are from unique causes...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743257472/ref=pd_lpo_k2...

Best wishes,
J.

It's totally unacceptable for kids as young as your daughter to have to figure this out on their own. The teachers at camp must step up and stop the bullying immediately. It's definitely possible at that age to direct children to do the right thing (my son's preschool would never have allowed anything like that!)

In a few years, they will go undercover and tease without the teacher knowing about it - but this young, it shouldn't be coming up without the teacher intervening. I'd definitely look into another facility for next year.

For the weight, you mentioned lots of fruit and veggies, are you also including lean proteins, a few whole grain products and NO sugar? Is she getting enough exercise? Can you work with the doctors about her legs? Hang in there...

T.-I know how you feel and I know how she feels-I was teased so much as a child. Has this placed addressed name calling and bullying? They need to stop this immediately. A good portion of this sounds like a classic food intolerance. First she needs a really good probiotic--a clean one without chemicals such as flora-jen, american health or miessence. the first 2 can be found at whole foods. a "reasonable diet" does not mean that she can handle what she is eating and many times concerned parents such as yourself have no idea about this. I would do a food elimination diet starting with the removal of gluten and dairy. Good for you on the sugar--processed sugar is poison and also you really should be eating all organic fruits and veggies and absolutely no processed/boxed foods. You can google gluten free-trader joes has a ton of foods listed right on their website.

This will help the water issue--also is she drinking enough clean pure water and do you give her any kind of juice?/ The only juice we should ever drink is ones put in a juicer. I know this sounds like a lot but these are changes that you can implement slowly.

Best of luck to you and your daughter!

You tell the camp counselors that your daughter is being teased and ask if they have a policy that they follow. Watch closely their reactions, you could be dealing with a young person who is very sensitive and concerned or one who would join in the teasing if she were one of them. Evaluate their approach. 4 years is young, but if your daughter has a condition that is going to be with her you might as well start teaching her how to deal with other kids' comments. I would recommend that you teach her the word for her condition and a simple explanation of it to share with other children. There's nothing like information to cut short group tactics. " I am not a pig or an elephant, my name is.........and I am a girl. I don't eat too much food. I have something called polydypsia. My parents are trying to help me. It really hurts my feelings when you say things like that. Please stop."

Cut back on her salt intake.

Children can be very cruel. Show your daughter plenty of love that very important. Have her drink parsley tea at least twice during the day, that will get rid of some of the fluid. Please don't give her water pills. Also kelp is suppose to help balance body fluids.

Making tea: fresh parsley 15 sprigs to 8 oz. Water. Boil water add tea let boil 3 min let steep 10 mins.

Dried parsley 1 tbls to eight oz. Water.

First let me say how sorry I am that you and your daughter have to experience this at such a young age. I have a 4 year old daughter myself and I would just feel terrible if we were in your situation. It's just not right that she should have to learn about how mean kids can be at such an early age. And I think it's great that your family tries to encourage her and build her self esteem. I think that will help her the most in the long term. But for right now you need to do whatever you can to put a stop to it. Go talk to those in charge at the day camp. These children are too young to get away with this, and without anyone noticing. And your daughter is too young to defend herself (and she shouldn't have to because it shouldn't be happening in the first place!). Make a big fuss if you have to. And I don't know if taking her out of day camp is an option for you, but if it is I would really consider it. I wish you and your family the best of luck!

I echo what a lot of moms are saying about involving camp administration. Seriously, I have to wonder where the counselors are when all this is happening.

Personally? I'd suggest a few well-placed remarks on your daughter's end, eg: "Yeah, but you're ugly, and I can always lose weight!" This approach isn't in line with every parent's philosophy, but almost every kid I know who has tried it gets left alone ;^)

Hi T.,
She might have an overgrowth of yeast in her system that causes the puffiness. If she eats alot of fruits- even though they're natural sugars, they're still sugars and could be feeding the yeast. I noticed this about myself after my son was born- I just couldn't get weight off. Then I did the Master Cleanse and cut fruits (except for green apples, blueberries and pineapple- these have the least amt. of sugar) and upped my veggie intake. I think the best way to explain what happened to my body is that my skin started shrinking. I believe there is a saliva test that you can do to test for candida- which is just the technical term for 'an overgrowth of yeast in your system'. I believe you would just have your daughter spit into a glass of water and watch what the saliva does. If I remember correctly, if the saliva it stringy, chances are good that her body's yeast is overgrown. If she hasn't yet been tested, that is. Oh, and I'd get her on a good strong pro-biotic, as well. :)
Blessings,
J.

So sorry that your daughter is experiencing this at such a young age. I agree with the other posters to first discuss with the camp counselors and, if the teasing does not stop, I would remove your daughter from the situation.

It sounds like you are working with doctors to try to combat the weight issue. Have you considered taking your daughter to a children's podiatrist to rectify her boy-legs?

Good luck to you, your daughter, and your family.