Kid Is Being Called Cursewords

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I agree that the teachers aren't watching what is going on before punishing a child. Your son gives them what they want when they call him that.. a reaction. If at all possible I would look for a different day care for him, perhaps a new kindergarten class also. He needs to move out of the reach of those children before it destroys him. If you can't change the day care or school then get what information you can on bullying and take it to the teachers and principal or day care director. Give them the warning that you will follow through with making complaints to school board or day care board if they don't protect your child from the bullying. Too many kids are bullied and labeled early on by peers and they don't come out of it unscarred.

I would look for another daycare, or after school care at the school since he is not having problems there. He is probably getting in trouble, because the other kids do it when the day care provider is busy or not close by. So she doesn't hear them, but when your son gets upset about it he's not being sneaky he's probably loud so she hears him. The one that gets heard is sometimes the one that gets in trouble even though it's not fair that way.

That's exactly what you should state to the daycare. Why is my child in trouble when these other children are calling him names and he gets angry because of that. The teachers are only watching the behavior not the words that the children say before. I'm sure they are not screaming it across the room. I'm sure the children are whispering it to him. I'm pretty sure his reaction to the other kids is a lot louder than there teasing and calling him names. I'm sure that is why they don't get in trouble and your son does. The teachers need to stop and ask what's going on before they punish one child. It is rarely onesided. Don't talk just to the teachers, but to the administrator or owner. Maybe request a meeting with all of them.

Hi N.,

I didn't get to read your original post, but as an elementary teacher either behavior would not be accepted.

You can leave this daycare if that works for you or address the situation first. To address it, schedule a meeting where you will be able to address the situation without interruption. Start by saying you are working with your child to improve his behavior and reaction to other children's actions. Then say that you are concerned that the other children are bullying your child with curse words and other statements (have as many written verbatum from your son as possible). You would like the teachers to really watch the interactions of all of the children whom you have named when they are with your son and to also really interview all of the students if another incident happens and to document it (and you get a copy with the other children's names blacked out). I would also inform the provider that if another incident happens and it isn't properly investigated and fair consequences handed out to all students involved that you will pull your child.

To help your son, try role playing and model the best reaction. Come up with some silly make believe cursewords. If you can model with another adult or older child in front of your son first this will help. Person A calls person B "stinky butt." Person B practices a relaxed face and says, "that's really mean, do you call other people that?" Person A says "yeah." Person B says "I guess you are a mean person." OR whatever you think will make the best answer for your child's age group. It might even be, "If you can't be nice to me then I'll have to tell the teachers you are being mean."

The more you role play/model the best reaction/behavior the easier it is for your son to do it. You are building his tool box of resources to use.

Good luck!

I have read both of your posts about this situation and my advice is two-fold. One, find a new daycare. Its hard enough on a child to be away from his family all day without having to deal with being constantly picked on and not protected. When you find the right one you'll know it, you'll feel the love they have for your son. You need someone who will be his "mommy" when you can't be there. He needs someone who will love and protect him, someone who will care as much as you do why he is having such trouble, and someone who would not put up with bad words. Sounds like this daycare is not a good fit for your son.

Two, don't put up with whining or fit throwing. Help your son to "toughen up" and know that tantrums when his feelings are hurt is unacceptable. Help him know what to do with those feelings (pray, draw a picture, talk about the feeling with the teacher) rather than scream.

God bless you for looking out for your son.