Keeping a Secret

Tell them when you're past the first trimester.

Seriously NO O. wants to know that you're trying OR that you're 10 days pregnant--the wait will be KILLING them!

We did not tell until I was 8 weeks pregnant.

Made the entire pregnancy fly by/ My husband and I loved the secret of it.

We had been married 10 years and had not made a peep about even considering having children..

Easy, do not tell them, no one needs to know until there is a baby in your belly.

A secret between two is the secret of god.
A secret between three is a secret no more.

You don't tell ANYONE including your parents unless you're willing for the entire world to know. We didn't tell our parents until we had our first ultra-sound at 10 weeks each time, except with our last pregnancy when my IL's were in Italy until I was nearly five months pregnant and they didn't find out until they got back.

Seriously, if it's a secret then it's a secret. I never understand why people announce to others that they're trying to get pregnant. That always, always squicks me out. There's no reason on earth to make other people think about you and your husband having sex.

*Before anyone gets their hackles up, I'm not talking about best friends or sisters or moms/daughters confiding in each other about fertility issues or concerns. That's a completely different kettle of fish than making a huge announcement to people that "GUESS WHAT MOM AND DAD?!?!?!!? We've decided to start TRYING to get pregnant on purpose! Yippee! At some point hopefully in the near future I'll get pregnant and then we'll be making another announcement to let you know we're pregnant! Congratulate us for planning to have lots of unprotected sex!"

Unless you want an inquisition every time you talk to them about the condition of your uterus, then it's best to wait until it's a done deal!

By not saying anything until you want it out of the bag.

I told everyone I was pregnant at the same time. I waited until the chance for miscarriage was at it's lowest and then told my mom and let her filter everything through the family grapevine. Telling my mom the moment I got the + sign on the test would have only devastated her had I lost the baby.

I think getting someones hopes up until it's a fact is, well, it can be hard on them. If they are expecting a call to tell them every time the phone rings it will get difficult.

Pregnancy can take time, often years. Sometimes it just takes once also.....

Making them wait along with you can be more of a hassle than not.

Don't tell them until you are pregnant... That would be the only sure way...

Since you are not yet pregnant I would keep this between you and your husband.

Also, when and if you do get pregnant, I would not tell anyone until I was ready if you already know some people can't keep their mouth shut. If you do tell beforehand, just know that the secret will be out.

I'd tell your husband that you will hand him the phone every time your inlaws ask questions about your procreation attempts. Maybe that will make him think twice about talking about it before you conceive.

Dawn

When I got pregnant, I didn't tell anyone until the first trimester ended. I actually could have hidden the pregnancy until almost 8 months, because I didn't even show until the last 2 months. I wish I had waited that long, because we were having a lot of complications. I ended up telling my family at 14 weeks, and other people just kind of found out.

Your family won't keep it a secret. If you don't want people to know, don't tell your family!!

We didn't tell anyone, including parents, until we were sure the new grandchild was safely on the way. Then we told them; then, everyone else (even close friends didn't know until after our parents). Before that time, it was a secret we kept to ourselves.

Ha.

I told my mum out of pure selfishness ;) meaning I didn't want to make the 70 or so phone calls she blitzed through :D

I told her by taking her out to lunch and giving her her copy of the ultrasound (11 weeks.. I have erratic periods, we needed an US to get a due date, I could have been 1-6mo pregnant when I found out (don't laugh... If the uterus grows up instead of out, you can half a size in your waist and don't have nerves in your abdomen so can't feel kicks).

It was relieving for me, and exciting for her.

2 birds, 1 stone!

I told no one until I hit three months. Although I told my parents and my ex's parents first pretty much everyone knew within a week. I don't know why anyone would wait a couple months after telling the grandparents to tell anyone else. Never heard of that.

you do it how YOU want to do it. there is no "most people". if you want to tell them at the same time as everyone else, do that. if you want to tell them ahead of time and are ok with them spilling the beans (be realistic - if you can't trust someone to keep a secret, don't expect them to, going into it). do what works for you and your little family :) we did tell the grandparents first, just because after us, they were the ones who would be the most excited. but after that i didn't expect anyone to keep any "secrets". it was on like donkey kong.... :)

Why tell anyone?

We pulled the goalie, and decided it was need-to-know for fear of "what if nothing happens?"

My husband and I kept it a secret from all but one person until we were through our first trimester.

The only person I told was one of my sisters, who coincidentally, was trying to get pregnant at the same time as us and she confided in me.

We wanted to wait until we were through the first trimester in case it didn't stick. It got a little tough at times because I was having twins and showing quicker. I wore a lot of baggy sweatshirts.

I also suspect some people wondered if I was pregnant because I stopped doing some sporting activities and gave some lame, though valid, excuse why I stopped.

Do not say anything to anyone. If you do not become pregnant quickly, you
run the risk of having to answer questions. It is best not to say anything to
anybody.

we didnt tell anyone right away.. although we were not trying it was unexpected.. at the time we were living with his mom n stepdad.. a few days after i took the test we told just his mom.. we told his stepdad a few days later.. we went back to my parents a few days later and told them.. and even though at the time i thought i was only like 6 weeks along and we didnt plan on making a big announcement yet (turns out i was wrong, i thought i was 8 weeks at my 1st doc appointment but turns out i was more like 12) .. seriously by the next day my entire family knew my dad just couldnt contain himself.. so honestly i wouldnt tell anyone yet especially if u know that they are going to have a hard time not telling anyone ..theres really no way u can help them not to tell .. they either will or wont and thats soemthing u really need to think about before u say anything

Umm, you can't. :) I thought my mom was really going to keep it on the down low, b/c she's usually really good about keeping secrets but the second I got pregnant she told people even when I said not to! She only told a few and it didn't really get out (I guess THOSE people can keep a secret!;) but it did irk me a little.

I wouldn't tell anybody just yet if neither mom can keep a secret! We told our parents after our 8 week appt and hearing the baby's heartbeat but waited until after our 12 week appt to tell everyone! I loved having that secret between my husband and myself =)