Telling the Family

That is so sweet and considerate of you! I would think a week after is probably ok. Have you already had an ultrasound? You could always create a postcard or announcement with it and send it to everyone. I know that might seem cheesy but it could be a fun way for them to find out.

Good luck and congratulations!!!!

S.

congratulations A....

I would suggest the customary 12 weeks...you are past any early preganancy issues and by then the new baby will be old...Or for fun...wait for Halloween and trick or treat the family...

Congrats!

My son, daughter-in-law and daughter just came for a visit and my daughter-in-law was wearing a white shirt with the word BABY on it in silver! That's how we found out! Loved it!

Dear A.,

That is so sweet and thoughtful of you and also the right thing to do for your brother and sister-in-law. As far as a time period--I can't say. I do have an idea that might be creative and still keep the spot light on your sister-in-law.

I would send a special card or letter of congratulations to her and write a note saying something like:

Your little one will have a new cousin to play with in about XX months and I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm so happy that our kids will be close in age.

Then let her be the one to start the news to the family....everyone will call you to verify!

I would wait a couple weeks to tell the family, let your sister-in-law enjoy her moment for a little while.

I would get T-Shirts for your other two children. The oldest one's T-Shirt to read, "Oldest Baby (or Oldest Child)" The second one to read "Middle Baby (or Middle Child)" and see how long it takes your family to notice as a family dinner. I think that would be so much fun.

Congratulations to you and your family. It is so nice of you to consider your sister-in-law as well so that she can have some enjoyment out of her new baby.

My best friend just announced to her family that she is expecting. What she did was she had all her family get together and tell them she wanted a family picture. Instead of having them say cheese, she said "everyone say - _______'s pregnant". It will probably take them a minute to realize what is going on but maybe you will be lucky enough to capture their expressions on film.

toni's idea is a cute one. i would wait until after your 1st trimester that way you are sure and it gives them about a month to have all the attention! :)

I had a suggestion but then I read Toni's and it was pretty much the same.

Congratulations

You are so considerate!

A.,

Congratulations to you! I would wait till you are at least 12-14 weeks along and then announce it to your families.

Take care,

Molly

Congratulations
With my first child we gave each set of Grandparents and acrostic poem that spelled out GRANDPARENT and a gift basket of items that corresponded with the poem. Ex. G is for giving hugs and kisses...there were hershey hugs and kisses in the basket.
With our second child I made a design on the computer that said Big Sister to BEE, added a picture of a bee and wrote my due date below the picture. I then printed to design to iron on paper and made a t-shirt. We took pictures of my daughter wearing the t-shirt and sent the picture to our family. It was fun to see how long it took our family to realize what the picture was saying.
Have fun announcing your news. How exciting that you will have two cousins so close in age.

Hi A.~
I have to say, that idea Toni has is great!! I would go with that.. or you can just wait when it is safe to tell .. you know like the 1st few weeks are still uncertain with pregnancies.. so maybe wait til after the 1st trimester.. yes the waiting is terrible- but your niece/nephew will be about two or three months old, and talk about the spotlight- they will be blessed to have the two little babies and talk about celebrations!!! Just a thought- good one Toni!!!

How considerate of you to wait. I find that so sweet. I think a week after her birth is plenty of time.
When my Great Niece got pregnant with her second child she came over to our house with her son and he was wearing a new shirt that said "I AM THE BIG BROTHER". It took us a few minutes but then we caught on. It was very funny.
Good Luck

When I was pregnant with my second child I used fabric paints and wrote "I'm going to be a big sister" on a T-shirt and had my daughter wear it when my Mom came to visit. It took my Mom a little while to notice, but she was thrilled when she did. For my relatives out of town, I put a photo of my daughter wearing the shirt on a card and mailed it to them. Regarding when to tell them . . . I would think a few weeks after your sister-in-law has her baby should be fine. Good luck! I have three wonderful children myself!

Congratulations to both you and your sister-in-law. Since you're pregnancy is so new, I would give the first-time mother a good month to be the focus of attention.

You can give them a little note card and say the rascally rabbit has died again so we welcome our third branch on our family tree in name of the month.

How exciting to have a growing family. That is so nice of you to let them celebrate with out your announcement. My friend’s sister did the same thing. I think it was about 2 weeks after my friend had her baby that her sister announced her 3rd child was on the way.

Congratulations! I am a firm believer of waiting to tell anyone that you are pregnant until you are 12 weeks along. Doctors usually tell you wait until this time because the chances of mis-carrying (god forbid) are greatest during this period. Also, if you wait 4 more weeks, your sister-in-law will have had her baby & then everyone can put their focus on you. You can also try a game of "family charades" & when it comes to you & yours husbands turn, you can let them know that way.

I thought it was common to tell people after 12 weeks.

Everyone here seems to focus on "great cute ways of telling the family". I think you are very right on to be sensitive to your sister- esp. because it's her 1st and you are on your 3rd. To be humble and kind, I would wait until 12 wks.- I tend to be superstitious anyway, so I think it's always a good idea to wait this long- although I know many women are far more confident about their pregnancies than I ever was (and I have 4 kids!). When I had my 3rd, my sis- in-law called me to congratulate me and to tell me she was pregnant. Honestly I thought she was competing w/me bc of the timing of her announcement. Always good to be patient and humble and let her have her special moment- and make sure everything's progressing well w/your pregnancy- you'll know the right time! Congratulations!

Dear A.,
First of all, congratulations on baby #3!
I want to say how very considerate it is of you to think about your sister-in-law that way. I know a sister in law who was not so thoughful and all it did was tick the family off. But, it was as though she went out of her way to put the attention on herself when she already had kids and the other woman had literally been trying for 14 years to have a child. Anyway, I just can't say enough about you taking her into consideration.
This is a very personal decision between you and your husband, but I would definitely say to wait until after her baby arrives. At least a week. Maybe two. After new mom and baby are up to being out and about, plan a family "celebration" dinner or lunch at your home. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Then, while everyone is eating or relaxing afterward, you can make a toast and say how happy you are to have the new addition to your family and hopefully, everyone will mark their calendars to gather again to celebrate another new addition in about 6 months.
It won't take attention away from her that way. Everyone will be giddy with happiness. And I really believe they will think more of you when they realize you waited to announce so she could have her special time. I think she will appreciate you all the more for it too.
Your family is very blessed with new arrivals and having someone like you in it.
God bless you and please let us know how things go.

Have your youngest wear a t-shirt that says I am a big sister/brother. I would wait until you are past your first trimester to let everyone know. That way you can 1) give your sister in law a little time to have all the attention and then 2 just incase there is a problem then you don't have to deal with all that.

A.,
Congrats to both. Since your still in your first trimester, wait til your past 6 months along. I hope they don't notice your belly before that. If it does slip, tell them you dont' want the attention.

Yeah, you could wait about a week after the baby is born, or you could ask your sister-in-law how she feels (depending on how close you are with her)

When my mom told her parents she was pregnant with my sister (it was around Easter, so maybe you could come up with a variation or do the same thing) she gave my grandparents an egg with little booties inside.

I would say a week after her delivery sounds good. Your family will be excited for you of course, but they will also be overjoyed to have the new little bundle to hold now. There is something magical about newborns, newlife! It is sure to be a very special time for you all.

I surprised my hubby w/ a little gift..I had wrapped up a 2-sided frame (from Babies r Us). On one side was a poem about a father's love and the other side I printed out a picture of a stork indicating our baby would be due at such & such a time. He was surprised and enjoyed the fact that I took time to put this together. Gpa & Gma frame?

How about a card to Grandma with the family around saying Congrats! And our family will expand again in another 8 months! or something like "Hooray! And it will be 5 in March!" Say it simply and let it dawn on them!
That's what we did with my second and it took everyone a second or two for them to get it and then there was such screaming you never heard in your life! :)
You might wait until the hoopla for your sis has died down a little, maybe a week or so afterwards... but if you wait too long, they'll wonder why you did! :)
Congrats on your bundle of joy!

Hi A.-!

I think all the attention will be focused on your sister in law and her new baby regardless of whether they know you are having a baby! The announcement of a new addition should only add to the excitement, and not take anything away from your sister in law - I would share the news!! Your new niece or nephew will have a close-in-age playmate - how cool is that?

I would be more upset if someone in my family didn't tell me they were expecting just because I was about to have a baby - the ONLY thing I could be for them is happy and elated about it!

We gave my husbands family, and mine a baby bottle pop with a tag attached that said guess who is expecting. It was alot of fun. How nice that you wait for your SIL to have her baby. I don't know many people that would be that considerate.

Personally I don't get why sharing you pregnancy should be an up stage to your sister inlaws big event. It's very sweet to be so thoughtful but I don't think your news would over shadow her special moment. Who would be so shallow. And what if something dose go wrong with your pregnancy? Then everyone missed out on the joy and only knows and feels the sorrow? When she has that baby your going to be busting at the seams with excitement about your pregnancy news and at that moment it would be an up stage. I say do it before so you don't have any secrets when her new baby comes. I love the way Toni advised doing it. Put to use in some way her suggestion before . You do have at least a week and first babies often come late. All the attention will be about your sister in law and new baby.

I always wait until I finish the first trimester before sharing with extended family - so, 12 + weeks. That would give everyone time to enjoy the new baby - granted she delivers on time - before rejoicing with you. AND you are usually in a safer place in terms of your own pregnancy.

One of my favorite things to do (because my family lives out of state) is to send a CONGRATULATIONS card! Congratulations, you are going to be an Auntie Again or Uncle Again or Grandma Again! Announcing the due date, etc.

With THIS pregnancy, I created a stack of announcement cards (business card size) that I stuck inside of a bunny basket and set out on the table at a family potluck (my husband's family is all local). On the card, I answered the TOP 5 questions EVERYONE asks when you are pregnant. We set the same basket out at a church potluck as our way of "quietly" announcing it too.
You could use a small picnic type basket with a red and white checkered cloth since it will be a summer time announcement.

So, our card went something like this...

Announcing ANOTHER Baby

Due Date? October 1, 2008
Morning Sickness? NONE
Energy Level? UP
Food/Taste Preferences? SALT
Baby's Gender: Won't Know Until Birth

Congratulations, A.. God has blessed you with another child!

~ Mom of 4: girl, boy, boy, and baby due October 1!

Hi A.,

You can also do what my friend did. She took her immediate family out to dinner and gave them all a gift that was unique to them. For example, to her dad, she gave him a book about grandfathers. I can't remember what she gave her mom, grandma, and sister, but all the gifts were different and were clues leading up to her announcement. Not sure if this helps. As for when to tell them, I would probably wait a couple of weeks until after your sister in law has her baby, unless you feel comfortable talking to her first. I know it's hard to wait when you have that kind of news.

J.

Hi A.,
I've read through quite a few of the responses, and I think I'm in the minority. I guess it all depends on family dynamics, and while I do think it is considerate for you to wait so the attention is focused on her, I think it also depends on how you think she'll take hearing the news before, or after, her baby is born. I was in her position when I had my first baby...my sister-in-law told us about a week or so after she was born that she was pregnant. By that time she was about 2 1/2 months along, and most people's reaction was, "Aw Congratulations! But why'd you wait to tell us?!" (they told us all right away with their first two kids) Everyone naturally asked if anyone else knew already. There were some people that did already know (her side of the family, for instance). And some were a little hurt, feeling like "we're the last to know?" Personally, I would have rather found out earlier...so I can be happier for her before my baby was born. But if you do decide to wait...then make sure you wait to tell anyone, friends, family, or otherwise. Just to spare hurt feelings.

Definitely after she has her baby and when you start to show - which is probably soon. It is so considerate of you to wait to tell everyone.

If you have a supportive family, you don't even need to be creative. Although, you could get a t-shirt made, after she has named her baby, that says "another cousin for ______" with an arrow pointing to your belly.

Have fun - it sounds like your family is very blessed.

I use to wait 3 to 5 months before I told family, that way the first part of the worrying is over and the pregnancy goes a little faster because once you tell then the time will go slow due to the checking on you daily. I wouldn't wait because of the attention to you, because all baby's are beautiful no matter who and when they're having them. Good luck to you and your sister in law.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! How about having a onsie made for the new baby that says "I'm gonna be a cousin for the 3rd time" or "I'm Gonna Get a 3rd Cousin IN March 2009!" or something to that affect. I agree on waiting to mention your pregnant. Perhaps consider waiting a few weeks so the lime light is on the new mom and her baby for awhile. Congrats again!

My family is all scattered so I a made little announcements with the due date - i just bought some really cute blank baby theme stationary (for birth announcements/showers) at Hallmark and typed up a little message. I also had copies of the Ultrasound photos made at Walgreens and enclosed them - I mailed them so everyone got them at the same time - they really liked them - they turned out very cute. I punched a couple of holes in the top and tied a ribbon in them - super easy - cheap and cute!

Hi A.,

I am also pregnant with my third and to tell our familes, we had t-shirts made that said "Big Brother" for my youngest and "Biggest Brother" for my oldest. They wore them to a family event and it was funny to see how people had to really look at my youngest one's shirt to figure it out. For those not around, my older son (who loves to talk) held a conference call to tell them mommy is pregnant. I took a picture of the boys in thier shirts and sent it to close friends to let them know.

A. - You are an amazingly thoughtful person to think of your sister and to want to let her have the spotlight. I believe that is a Wonderful thing for you to do! I would suggest that whenever you guys next have a big event, like a welcome home party for your sister or (if they do it at a month or two) the christening... you could let the family know. Be sure to tell them that you wanted to wait until your sister had her baby so that their attention could be on her. I think that would make everyone even more excited for you. And, of course, spending time with the new baby will be even more special. You can tell him or her that there will be a little cousin to play with shortly! How sweet, they will basically grow up together. I hope you and your sister are close, because this will be a great relationship for them and for you and your sister! Good luck to you!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I tired to wait 12-weeks, until the "safety zone." I did this because I had a miscarriage after I told families that I was pregnant the first time and it was really hard to break the news of a miscarriage. I was lucky enough not to show real early. I did however get sick very early, so keeping it a secret was a little tough. People wanted to know what was wrong with me. People might start gettng curious if you start getting sick or sleeping a lot.
Oh and I let my mom know by telling her that she might want to pick her new grand-baby something up while she was in Disney Land.

A week or less. Your sister-in-law will feel a new stronger connection to you. Like you are sharing the experience. Like someone actually understands everything she is going through right now.
I told my family by having my three year old wear a shirt that said "I'm the big brother". It took forever for them to notice too...

I don't know about when to tell but how can be fun. Buy a package of buns and put a bun in the oven. Make a fake newspaper that reads "Extra Extra read all about it..." and maybe even get your kids involved and let them pass the papers out. If you do it after your sister has her baby you could use that as the headliner and then as they continue to read they will be extra surprised to find out your news however you won't be taking all the focus off your sister either. I hope it all goes well and congratulations!

Hi A.. As for the right time to tell, that one I can't really say. But waiting is very thoughtful. but for creativity I can help with that one. We decided that we were going to give a gift to our parents since it was around a Valentines. I got a baby bid for each that said 'I love my grandma' 'I love my grandpa' and then we also put a baby picture frame with it in a Valentine's Bag. they loved it and were so excited. My other thought was too buy some onsies, a blue and a pink for each grandparent and something baby in a bag. Just say here, wanted to get you a little something to show how much we appreciate you both. And then bam...they're surprised.

Good luck.

Hi A.-
When my sister got pregnant, she did 2 things. One, she made a card and gave it to my parents that said "happy ___________" and signed it from herself, her husband, and "baby Winther" with a due date next to the baby.
For my husband and I, we came over for dinner, and she had the ultra sound "out." Being the nosey sister that I am, I looked at it and realised that date and turned around and she was grinning at us.... lots of whoops and hollers.

As far as your sister in law goes, is there tension? I would think telling the family before she has the baby would be good. That way, since she is about to have the baby, the attention will stay on her?!?! Amd the baby that is about to be born?!?
You can always wait a few months to tell, until you start showing...That's a hard one, depending on the family dynamics.
But as long as your attention remains on the sister in law and you insist that people dote on her (you do this as well), you will continue to shift the spotlight. Remind the others about how they felt with their first baby and that she needs to be the "glowing mommy." Just the fact that you are worried about the focus shift is a plus. Make sure she knows that it is important that her time "in the spotlight" is not cut short. And maybe tell her first...to help the 2 of you grow closer.
Good luck and congrats on all the babies!
-E.

A.,

You should tell your sister privately and if you tell the family just don't make a big show about it until after her baby is born.

Congrats!!!!

E.

My sister was pregnant with her second with I was deliverying my first. Right after I delivered her, like 20 minutes later, my sister told me she was pregnant. My response was "why didn't you tell me sooner". She was afraid of taking the spotlight from me, I was thrilled my daughter was going to have a cousin a few months younger. I think it all depends on your relationshp with your sister. You could always tell her first quietly and see what her response is.

That is very thoughtful of you to wait. I would wait at least two weeks after she has the baby. Maybe make her one of the first to know. Say you know "new baby's name" is going to be a big cousin! Or a couple of cute ideas I have read are stuffing fortune cookies that say "I'm pregnant". Or having T-shirts made for your kids that say "future big brother or future big sister". Or you wear a t-shirt that says baby on board or I'm expecting! How exciting!