I did my hospital tour to try to decide where I would like to have my son in a few weeks. As we (and by we, I mean a group of about 7 couples) were walking through the hallway, this woman in labor was trying to walk down the hall and work through her contractions. We all tried to respectfully scoot by but it was kind of a narrow hallway by the nurses station and it felt a little like an exhibition at the zoo. She was in pain and buried her head in her partners chest and said "oh my god, are you kidding???" I felt for her and I was so embarrassed to be there.
What would you think as the woman in labor? Would you be indifferent or embarrassed? And as a "tourist"? Nobody wanted to mention it at the time, we all pretended that it just didn't happen but oh my goodness, one guy smelled of cigarette smoke so bad it made ME want to wretch. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt.
It's totally possible that I misread why she was saying what she was saying but then again, I think I said something similar when my water broke...at a restaurant. Then, when we were in the hospital I was on the elevator contracting like crazy with a family visiting someone on another floor and I felt the urge to be a little polite and not make them uncomfortable with all my grunting and labor breathing.as we took a SLOOOW elevator to the 8th floor. I was a little embarrassed so maybe that's why I was empathizing with her.
she was in the hall. I walked the halls just like she was, and if people walked by I was not embarrassed, I was in the hall! if I wanted privacy I should have stayed in my room.
I would have told you how wonderful the hospital was in between contractions. When I was walking around I didn't care who saw me so long as the barn door wasn't open, which it wasn't.
There was a screamer in one of the delivery rooms during our tour. Through the entire half hour tour we could hear her screaming and screaming.
My poor husband was white as a ghost, nearly passed out.
I told him, don't worry honey, I won't scream.
And I didn't scream. I SWORE very loudly repeatedly (well in between projectile vomitting anyway). He was mortified.
's no wonder he drinks, poor fella.
:(
When I was in labor with my last another Dr. on the floor (not MY Dr.) asked if he could bring in his teaching students to 'witness' a birth! I was so ready to be done and didn't really care I said sure (always have been a people pleaser) and all 5 of them piled into my room and had to shuffle all around getting out of the way while I had my baby! I had VERY quick labor with all my kids so that really helped...they were in and out in like an hour...they all thanked me repeatedly and where very nice.
It was awkward after the fact and when I look back on it but while I was in the moment I could have cared LESS...so funny how that works, huh?
~My husband joked after the fact, that our one and only daughter (she has 4 brothers), of course *deserved* to have a huge audience for her much anticipated arrival! :)
I would have been the smartass and said somthing like "hey look what you get to look forward to" then went back to focusing on the pain.
We had our tour about 2 weeks before I went into early labour. I knew I was having a c-sect so I really did not pay alot of attention to the LD part and they never went over what the csect ladies would be going through we were kind of the red headed step children of the group, lol. All I knew was to go to the labor desk and check in. The rest was waiting in the pre-op area for a room to get prep'd for me since I bumped about 3 ladies out of the way since I was emergancy.
I was bored, bored, bored when I walked. I probably would have welcomed someone to talk to other than DH and the cleaning crew (I was walking at midnight).
She should not have been embarrassed and I'm just sorry that she was, not that there was a tour.
Probably no different than bringing in a crew of interns when you're in labor/delivering, right? My friend had that happen. AND they asked if she would give permission to allow them to film for use in education. She said "Get out!"
That would have been me on both sides. That would have been my expression if I were her, and I would have felt bad if I were you.
But it is what it is. Nothing could have been done about it. She was in her moment of doing what she had to, and you all were there for your tour that can't be worked around who is in the hallway.
There is always going to be someone in labor! Kind of what happens on a LABOR floor! lol She will be fine. As soon as her baby was born she forgot all about you guys.
L.
With my first, I was on bedrest for months, but left my bed to go to the childbirth class. While at the childbirth class, I went into labor. They stopped the class for a bit and got me moved to triage. They had stopped labor numerous times throughout my pregnancy, so I knew the drill by then, but the others in the class were fascinated when they came by on the tour. I was wishing I could just deliver, but I was still 6 weeks early.
Ironically, they induced a week later because of complications.
I probably would have been embarrassed too. I did have a OB my first pregnancy that had a medical student shadowing her at the end of my pregnancy. They would always ask in appointments if the student could come in...I always declined because by that time, she was checking for dilation. I was actually asked during labor if the student could come in for the delivery...my answer was "Hell NO".
Is it possible you misconstrued her exclamation? Perhaps she was only upset at the amount of pain she was in, not that the hallway was full of people. When I'm in pain I talk to it like it's a person, up to and including saying things like, "Are you kidding me? Still here? Go bother someone else for a minute why don't you!!", "Good Lord!" as well as other, more colorful expletives. She may have looked at the group and said "Are you kidding me?" just as a particularly hateful contraction struck her, thus leading to the miscommunication. She may have been in labor for so many hours that she didn't care who heard her talking to her pain, much like I do beyond a certain point.
When I'm in labor I'm in the zone. I wouldn't have even noticed you there. Although had you got in my way I might have been a bit less controlled than usual. lol. You might have gotten cursed out for no good reason other than you were in my way and interrupted me being in the zone.
I walked the halls, but luckily for me the only people in the halls were the nurses. I wasn't in much pain (I was going all natural and was lucky in the fact that I didn't have any pain until I was 7cm dilated and then it went REALLY fast), so I didn't care. If I had been in pain, I would have stayed in my room and paced around in there cause I hate people seeing me in pain.
Stories like these make me so thankful that I had my babies at home! Birth is not a spectator sport, nor should you be trapped in a room. But as to your question - no, I would not be embarrassed in either position. If you choose a public facility to birth your child, you are choosing for the public to be part of the experience (including other families, tourists, doctors, students, and so forth). Any one grown up enough to give birth needs to be grown up enough to live with the results of their choices in birthing.
I knew going in that if there was an emergent situation and we had to transfer, I would be thrust into this setting as well. Would I like it - no. Would I be embarrassed by it - not at all.
idk i am quiet when i'm in pain. i didnt scream. i walked in the mall while i was in labor because i wasn't dialiting even though i was past my due date so they offered M. to go home. i didn't make a scene, noone knew. when i came back i was 1 minute apart and walked through the halls and was fine. sure i stopped every few minuted and grabbed my stomach quietly and said owww but i wouldn't be embarassed for being in labor. I would be embarassed if my water broke somewhere though
I now how she felt! 15.5 yrs ago I was in agonizing labor with my son and I had high blood pressure and was given mag. All had to be done natural, no pain meds with hellacious np and in my 3rd hour of pushing, the door opened and there stood 7 interns that were considering going into labor and delivery. In the middle of all this hell I was going through they asked me if I cared if they watched! At that point, I didn't give a damn who was there, I couldn't take it anymore! So, I remember the door was open, I had my mom and my doc and two nurses as well as 7 wide-eyed kids just standing there staring. With the door open, anyone that walked by got a free show :( after what I had been through I didn't care!! I just wanted it over. Now if I hadn't been in that kind of hell, I sure wouldn't have wanted a audience!
