Would You Have Your Child in the Delivery Room?

No I wouldnt have my 4yr old there for my next birth. I am due in October. I think it would be too traumatic. Like you ,him seeing me with the bad morning sickness was enough.
Best of luck with the delivery
B. k

No way. Too much going on, the focus should be on you and the new baby and he would seriously be traumatized!

No way. There is too much going on, especially for one so young. Knowing my boys, there is no way they could handle being in the delivery room. I had a repeat c-section, so there wasn't an option to have my boys in there anyway, but I would not do it at all.

no no no nooooo. I have enough on my mind without having to worry about my other kids right that moment. Other stuff going on right that moment.

And...ok, so, why would we want them in there? So that we can EMBARASS the hell out of them later? Can you imagine being told as a teenager, oh yeah, you were there when I pushed your little brother out of my vajajay, dont you remember?

No way. My son is a regular curious george and he gets into the most trouble when we are preoccupied with something else. I'd spend the delivery yelling and jumping out of bed to stop him from touching things. LOL!

I think it would be extremely traumatic for a 19mo old.

I wouldn't have any of my kids in the room. They just don't need to see that.

No, primarily because that's not whom I want to be concentrating on.

my oldest was almost 3 when my youngest was born and needed that time to be about me and I needed my hubby attention. Guess that is selfish of my but my oldest went to school during the delivery and then came to the hospital after.

There is no way a 19 month old can understand what is happening in the delivery room, other than, "my mommy is on the bed and in pain and she won't hold me." Too traumatic. I'm sure there is an age where it would be ok (for most kids), but I wouldn't do it myself for the sake of my own modesty.

NEVER. Way too much reality for them. Even in my easier deliveries, I vomited and was a general mess, and we should feel free to be as messy and emotional and raw as we want/need to be without worrying about what our kids are seeing or who is watching them. You would need to bring in yet another person to watch your kid(s) so your husband can help you, right? Who needs that? In my not-so-easy deliveries, I'm sure the sight of 6 interns coming in to watch a vacuum extraction or my OB pushing a crowning baby back inside to loosen a wrapped cord from the neck would have been alarming. And, I have a pretty useless husband so the kids would be doing things like asking me for snacks and drinks or wanting to watch Spongebob while I'm busy pushing. No thanks - the family delivery is definitely NOT for me. I can maybe understand an older child but a toddler? Out of the question!

No. No children in the delivery room and I don't think anyone should be in the room except the staff, your husband and perhaps ONE other family member (such as mother) or MAYBE the closest friend.

Blessings...

Nope, too traumatic.

My daughter was 22 months when we had our second daughter. We got to the hospital a little before midnight and I gave birth at 1:15 in the morning so my daughter was in the stroller kind of behind the curtain in the delivery room. When I screamed as I was pushing she screamed (I think she was scared for me). A nurse was keeping her occupied and daddy was back and forth. I don't think she remembers and after that she was fine. Everything just went so fast we didn't have time for another option. I have superfast labors but this one was my fastest by far, we barely made it to the delivery room from triage and the nurses kept saying "please don't push yet, we can deliver babies but we're not paid to"!

My first was 2 months shy of 3 when his brother was born. He was free to come and go from the room I was in and a room next door where my mom was. We were at a free standing birth center. He missed the birth of his brother by moments purely by chance, he felt like wandering out to see what Grandma was doing at that moment. He didn't care. He came in to help me feel better. I have to be honest, it was the best focus I could have had to get through some of those contractions! Nothing sweeter than the face of your little one to remind you of what you're working for. He wasn't traumatized in any way and enjoyed being there.
When my third was born my first 2 were 8 & 5. We were at the same birth center. They were there with me, Grandma took them for a walk for a little while because they were a little restless when my labor wasn't intense yet. They wandered around the suite we were in as they felty like. They both saw their sister born. They did fine and still talk about it 2 years later.
If I have any more children I'll have my 3 with me as well.
The entire pregnancy we taught them what was going on and what to expect. We have a couple awesome National Geographic DVDs we watched as a family. They had a million questions the whole time I was pregnant and being homeschoolers it was only natural to teach them anything they wanted to learn about. After my daughter was born the midwife showed them the placenta and taught them about it. It was absolutely amazing!

No Way!!! The delivery room is no place for any child except the one about to be born.

Not a chance! A 19 month old child will have absolutely no way of understanding what you're going through & just like every pregnancy is totally different, so is every delivery so even though you may have had a delightful time with your son, it may not work out that way this time. My 17 YEAR old sister was in the delivery room with me & was practically scarred for life for God's sake!

I was in the delivery room when I was about 10 and my aunt gave birth - it was a life-defining moment. Loved it. When I had a homebirth with my son my two year old daughter was there. She got scared and started crying when I as pushing (I was being loud), so my mom took her out of the room. As soon as the baby was born (just minutes later), I called for her to come back. My daughter's first words about this were "baby came out!". I was in a tub and she first went and hugged my midwife, and then immediately took off her pjs and got in the tub with me, her dad, and her new baby brother. It was the best experience of my life. I have the most beautiful picture of my husband and I holding the baby in the tub and her in the background reaching out to hug my midwife with a huge smile on her face.

I'm in the camp that believes birth is a totally normal and natural part of life, and I wanted to expose my daughter to that. We watched tons of YouTube videos of births ahead of time and practiced making some of the noises she might hear mommy make. She LOVED (and still does) watching the videos and waiting for the moment when the baby came out. Personally, I wouldn't change it for the world.

When my son was born, my daughter was 2 1/2, and I thought about letting her in the room, but decided against it for selfish reasons. I didn't want to have to worry about her and have my husband chase her around the whole time. I wanted all his attention on me! I'm thinking about letting her in the room next time though, when I have my third in December, she'll be almost 7. I was 7 when my sister was born (I was in the room) and it was amazing, but I felt really bad for my mom whose epidural wore off!

That is so precious that your son is showing sympathy at such a young age. He's going to be a great big brother! :-)

My daughter is 3.5.......If we can make it so she is not in the room, I would prefer it....but we do not live close to friends or family (they are all 30 minutes or more away) and my history is a SUPER fast delivery. So.......I'm hoping they decide to induce me like we've discussed to avoid a living room floor delivery and so that I can make sure my daughter is taken care of and my husband can be present......I'm currently 30.5 weeks and getting VERY nervous/anxious about the delivery and my daughter's experience as well.......

I would definitely say a 19 mo old is too young.....JMO.....

Updated

My daughter is 3.5.......If we can make it so she is not in the room, I would prefer it....but we do not live close to friends or family (they are all 30 minutes or more away) and my history is a SUPER fast delivery. So.......I'm hoping they decide to induce me like we've discussed to avoid a living room floor delivery and so that I can make sure my daughter is taken care of and my husband can be present......I'm currently 30.5 weeks and getting VERY nervous/anxious about the delivery and my daughter's experience as well.......

I would definitely say a 19 mo old is too young.....JMO.....

I gave birth in the hospital but so quickly that we didn't have time for someone to come and get my 2 yo.
He has no memory of his brother being born.

unless he freaks out or stresses you out, then absolutely! have someone else in charge of him, obviously. you might want time alone or just with your partner during labor. good luck!

At 19 months? No way! For all the same reasons you just mentioned!

No way! It would upset them too much to see me in pain. They are 5, 5 and 8.

too young--at 19months. I would let him come see you after the baby is born. GL

M

Absolutely not. At 19 mos. they do not understand what is going on. I think
it would be very frightening.

Updated

Absolutely not. At 19 mos. they do not understand what is going on. I think
it would be very frightening.

Updated

Absolutely not. At 19 mos. they do not understand what is going on. I think
it would be very frightening.

No I definatly would not. She is not really going to know or be interested in what is going on. Could get scared. More than likely will be fidgety. How will you keep her occupied, who is going to watch her? No way.

I haven't read the other responses yet, but I really wouldn't choose to do this. While I respect childbirth as a natural process, had a natural birth, and think that it's ok to be open with kids about it, I have never understood the idea of having the kids be part of the labor and delivery experience.

I decided to go for a drug-free delivery, but I'm not going to sugar-coat the experience and say it was blissful and beautiful. It was hard, especially in transition, and I lost my focus. I felt almost like an animal, desperate to be free of the intensity of it. Later, my husband told me he had never seen anyone, let alone someone he loved, in that kind of pain and he felt afraid (although to his credit, he was strong and supportive in the moment which was exactly what I needed!) Those feelings were completely supplanted by bliss and relief when our son was born, but it was very intense at the time.

So no, with that in mind, for these reasons I would not allow my child to be there until after the baby was born:

1. A child cannot determine the difference between "pain for a good purpose" and "PAIN". As adults, knowing that it is temporary and to a good end help us cope. A child cannot do this. A child sees pain in themselves or in someone they love and their one-track mind screams STOP!! If/when they can't stop it - as they surely can't in this situation - they feel helpless and scared.

2. My son gets concerned when daddy tackles me in fun or if I exclaim out loud over something that hurts or surprises me. It hurts him when I hurt. For him to see me the way I was in delivery would be positively traumatic and for no good reason. There is plenty of time for him to learn about the challenges of delivering a child when he is cognitively, physically and emotionally developed enough to cope with the information.

3. Knowing that expressing my pain or working through it could upset him, I would probably hold back and lose focus. This would make managing the pain incredibly difficult and I might cave to using meds - which is fine for some, but I would regret later.

I think there is much to be said for being sensitive to what's age-appropriate for children. Yes, they will be exposed to things in life, but that is no excuse for forcing things upon them that they are not ready for.

Heck no! I can only imagine the things they would tell people about what they saw and heard!! Seriously, I know grown men and women traumatized by the delivery room experience (as witnesses and participants), and I would not expose a child to that. Not to mention, heaven forbid something goes wrong. Even if it ends well, do you want a child around to experience that aspect of birth? Best to let them wait it out and see mom and baby after everything is peaceful again. They can see the rest all in good time.

No. I didn't have my son at the hospital during the delivery of his sister. He was at school. My daughter was born literally as my son was getting off of the school bus! I had my FIL bring him to the hospital later to meet the sis.

My SIL had her 3rd grader skip school to be there. SIL's brother had his 2y there. The labor ended up taking 11 hours. The girls were bored out of their minds!!

I personally think he will freak out. My two year old was completely weirded out when I was just sitting in a hospital bed with a gown on. He wouldnt come near me until I was out of the hospital.
I think its a bad idea and you might not want that drama while your trying to give birth.
Plus someone would have to watch him, so if hubs doesnt do it, you would have to have someone else in there too. Guh, sounds like chaos. I think your making the right decision. ;)

I didn't when I had my son since my girls were 6 and 4. I did think about it but I didn't think it was best. Besides, I was began active labor at like 3 am, was at the hospital by 5 and he was born at 6. They would have been very cranky! If I had another child today I think I would at least have my oldest. She is 9 and in the gifted program. I think it would be enjoyable. My 7 year old gets bored and whiny too quickly and my 2 year old...well he's 2 and full of energy!

Not for me. My son would be asking all sort of questions and wanting involved in every way. At that point he would be getting on my nerves. Love my son, but he likes to help and be involved. He stayed at daycare and then Granny picked him up and he came to meet his little sister.

NO. I don't think that was even an option with my OB. For one thing, who's gonna watch him??? He could be quite concerned about the beeping, the talking, the rushing around, God forbid you cry out, gasp, etc. My son had just turned 3 a month before his brother was born, we read allllllllll the books at the library about being a big brother and bringing a sibling home, we took him to "big brother class" at the hospital, etc, etc....but there's only so much they can understand. You can warn him and "prepare" him til the cows come home, but it's too young for him to really understand, in my opinion. Especially if he is sensitive to morning sickness like you mentioned (sweet). And what if (heaven forbid) something goes wrong or just gets tense? I don't think that room (or what goes on in it) is for a young child.
We had no family around. I mentioned my concern to my neighbor and a friend from the Bible study I was going to. There was a lady there that I'd had a couple lunches with in addition to weekly Bible study, and she said that she'd love to watch my son while I was in hospital. I was nervous about it, but what else could I do? I took him to her house for dinner one evening to let him get to know her, her dogs, her son, her house. He felt perfectly at home there, LOVED the dogs, loved the attention he got from them. He threw a fit when we were leaving because he wanted to stay. I was putting him in his carseat and was like "I can't believe you'd embarass me like that in front of my friend" and he answered "She's not your friend, she's MY friend!" So, there we go. It was on. Our plan was we'd bring him to a neighbor if labor happened in the middle of the night, and he could sleep there (her daughter was 1 day older than my son, she slept in a crib, but there was also a pack 'n play set up in the playroom all the time anyway)...and if it happened in the daytime, then we'd take him to my friend from Bible study. We also put both ladies on the pick up list (temporarily, for this situation) from his preschool just in case. That worked out perfectly. She had toys prepared for him, and we had a special big brother backpack, as well as my own bag, was already packed and ready (something he hadn't seen, but to make him feel special while we were busy at hospital). When the time came, they put me in the hospital and then he drove our son to her house, then came back to hospital. He had a grand time at her house: they watched a movie, played outside with the dogs, they walked to the park, played games, did some art, napped on schedule, etc, etc. Much more fun and comfortable for him than watching me deliver a baby at that age.

I had a repeat c-section and I knew that would be really hard for my daughter, who was just then 18 months, with me being gone, but I knew seeing me hurting would be even harder. Obviously, she wouldn't be allowed in the room no matter what.

Our second was born at 10 in the morning. We didn't have my mom bring the older baby up until 6 or so that night. Even though my heart hurt not to see my little girl for so long, I know we made the right choice. We had some good solid time to get to know our new baby and get breastfeeding going. I had time to get feeling back in my legs and for my DH to adjust to a new baby (again). By the time our older daughter visited, we were very comfortable with the day's happenings and able to be sensitive to her concerns and excitement about the situation.

I did not have my child in the delivery room for long. She did hang out with my husband and I for the first couple hours, but I sent her with her grandparents when labor intensified.

childbirth is a beautiful thing, but to a child who may not be able to process what is going on, I think it could be a very scary experience... there is a lot of blood, a lot of emotions and just a lot of things going on that I don't think a toddler could understand.

I did have her stay at the hospital though, and she was off playing with toys while I labored and pushed. As soon as the baby was out, my daughter was brought right in to meet her new sister.

If you do decide to have the baby in the room with you, I would definitely have someone there with you (NOT your birth partner...) that can safely wisk your toddler away if you feel he needs to not be there anymore. Even if he isn't stressed, you need to be free to have whatever emotions, words, concerns you want without worrying what effect they are having on your child.

I LOVED my daughter being there early in labor though... she go to see the really excited, happy part of me laboring, before I had to "dig in my heels".

I might have let her stay if I was going to get an epidural, who knows... but i went without again and so I knew that at some point she would be in the waiting room and I am happy with how things went!

-M.

Not at that young, no way. Not something he should see in my opinion.

Yes, my daughter will be present the entire labor and birth of her brother - granted it is a home birth and she can walk away to do her own thing if she chooses to. I know she finds it important to be there for me and to see her new brother being born. She'll be 6 y/o in Sept.

If she were younger... I'd still allow her to be there. You may want to keep him out during labor and transition and allow him to come in when you are pushing. If you do decide to bring him, make sure you bring plenty of snacks, drinks and activities for him to do.

If my kid was like 7 or older then yes. A 19 month old, no. I don't think they are old enough to understand that your pain is temporary, you won't be able to explain things beforehand etc. I think it would be very traumatic

No, no, no. I think at that age it is too traumatic. I even had one child when some of my other kids were in their teens, and I never considered it. I just think that seeing their mom in pain cannot be good for them. I was always quite ill (bedridden) with my 4 pregnancies and never wanted to show my kids their mom in even more pain. BUT, maybe if I had easy deliveries I would consider it. Good luck!!

It's seems strange to me to see all the responses saying no way. I had my kids at home so it never occured to me that my oldest wouldn't be there for her sister's birth. She was 3 at the time and my Mom was there to keep her busy, they actually baked a "birthday cake" while I was in labor. I really think it's the way people approach the whole birth process. To our family it's a natural, exciting and very special moment that isn't really negative or traumatic in any way so that was how my daughter treated it. Sure it hurts like hell but pain isn't always a negative thing and a low risk birth is absolutely not a medical process.
Now that being said the climate in a hospital room might be very different, I don't know anything about that and 19 months is very young. I would say it's all about you Momma. Does it make you nervous? What are your feelings about labor and birth? That's what's most important really, either way he's too young to know the difference if he is there or not and your comfort is the very most important thing.

Yes, I would, if I had another adult (not dh) on hand to take the child/ren if they got too bored/tired/upset/whatever.
Since I didn't have a single other adult that I'd be comfortable with having there, no, none of my kids were at subsequent deliveries.

I think you're right on this one momma! If it upset him to see you vomit, then it will scare the bajeebies out of him to be in the delivery room. Have the baby, get cleaned up and then have him come in to meet the new little sibling.

I know that you have lot of answers already but here comes mine anyway. When my youngest was born, my oldest had just turned a year old. I never really gave much thought to her being in the delivery room, but when I did, I had semi decided that she wouldn't be in there.

My water broke at 2:00am and my DD was born five hours later and her big sister was there and awake for the whole thing. My parents and sister as well as my DH were there as well. In fact, my sister cut the cords on both the girls (husband thinks it's gross lol). I screamed quite a bit during labor and it never affected my daughter. I honestly doubt she'll even remember being there, but I do and it's a precious memory to me...know that my whole family was there for the birth. Had my screaming affected DD1, I probably would have had someone in my family take her out of the room.

My suggestion is to do what feels right to you. If you want him in the room with you, go for it! I would suggest having that extra person available to take him out though just in case he is bothered by it! Good luck and congratulations!!!