Hello everyone, I have something that bothers me but wanted someone else's outlook also. I have been at my job for 5 yrs now and have always worked for the same man. This year I got married and it happens to be one of his nephews. We are happily married and love one another very much. My problem is my boss seems like he doesn't like it at all. We have almost been married a year now but my boss seems like it has royally pissed him off. I ask him in the beginning if he had a problem with it and he said no. I have a co-worker that I am very good friends with and she has heard him make comments about it has hurt me rather than helped me at my job. He is the type that would deny if I confronted him. He hardly speaks to me and speaks to everyone else. Just hurts my feeling because I haven't done anything wrong. Any advice on how to cope?
Other than getting another job there really isn't anything you can do. Sometimes people act irrationally, when they do they tend not to see it as irrational so they are unwilling to change.
It is what it is.
I wouldn't listen to 2nd hand information - no matter if the person is a very good friend of mine.
You just need to do your job - separate work from personal life and press on. don't worry about what he thinks of your marriage. That's NOT his business during work hours. If after hours you guys get together and he's got a problem with it - then it's HIS problem, NOT YOURS.
Stop worrying about what other people think. do your job. do it well and leave personal out of it when it comes to him. PERIOD. Again separate personal/private and business life.
I know that sounds cold - but really - don't worry about what others think. you cannot control it or them so instead of dwelling on it - just do your best and keep it professional.
Nothing really you can do about it. Just do your job the best you can. I know you can't avoid him.. just be yourself, knowing the problem is NOT with YOU it is with HIM. He needs to find it in his heart to live with it. It was ultimately YOUR decision, and your husband asked you to marry him because he obviously adores and loves you. He can't be mad because you two found love.. that is stupid and childish.
Just ignore his "whispers" and remind yourself that it is HIS choice how he deals with it. And it is YOUR choice how you reciprocate or deal with it. Don't let this get in the way of your job or your relationship with your husband. Talk to him and tell him your concerns and leave it at that.
Stay calm, remind yourself that you did nothing wrong. Be friendly and do what you can to make your "space" more homey.. look at pictures of your hubby on your desk, check out facebook now and again and remember to laugh now and then.
He is a jerk. The novelty will wear off and he might just come to like you in his family... yes, it's a strange thought... but you are now family. He needs to deal.
My wife has a saying that rings true more often than not, "Perception is Reality". Not saying it's the case here, but try to step back and look at the big picture. Has your performance suffered/changed since the marriage? DO YOU have more insight into the company since the marriage? Look from the inside first and ensure nothing has changed. If it hasn't, just keep doing your job and extend an olive branch to your boss, go way out of your way to show him your skills.
If you can't talk to your boss, don't listen to gossip about him. Do your job extremely well, so that your work is without reproach. Don't give the man an good excuse to find fault with you.
At the same time, and without mentioning anything to your colleagues, keep your eyes open for a position somewhere else.
Maybe it's not you; maybe he has something against your husband, his nephew. If that happens to be the case, your position is going to be more and more uncomfortable there.
Is it possible he's trying a little too hard to make it obvious there is no favoritism because you are married to his nephew?
One of the women I work with is related to the owner and she was just saying yesterday that she often wishes she hadn't taken the job because it really changed their relationship.
They are close outside of work, but during business hours, it's just that....
all business.
Things they used to talk about regarding the business are now off limits because there is an employer/employee line that can't be crossed.
Just continue to do your job as professionally as possible. Don't consider confronting your boss. You have a job. You have a husband. Do your thing at work and let the rest go.
Best wishes.
Maybe he is worried that now you will have inside information on him. I would make sure to be extra professional, very pleasant, and don't gossip about him or this issue. Don't give him any reason to do anything to your job. Perhaps just view him as pitiful, and be the bigger person.
Act professionally and efficiently.
You just have to keep personal feelings OUT of the workplace.
Ignore it.
He's your boss--treat him with respect. Work hard.
He won't have anything to "talk" about!
Look for another job. Sounds like mingling family and business is going to be bad for you. Life is too short to have that kind of stress.
Do the best you can. Ignore it as best as you can. Look for another job. Sucks it's like this, but that's all you can do.
It's a tough economy out there. So suck it up and do your job really well.
You can look elsewhere while you are still employed - but remember, sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.
Let it go and just do your job to the best of your ability. He may think what he thinks but in the end your job performance is what will count with him.
