Good morning all. We have a 28-month DD who is absolutely wonderful…..on most days. For the past week, we have been doing our normal routine but she is starting to fight us more on the basics like which shoes to wear, brushing teeth, what kind of cereal, etc. We make sure she has options in an effort to make her feel empowered by making her own choices but lately she is not budging and is actually getting a tad mean. Teeth brushing has become a battle whether she is brushing or I am but only in the mornings when I am trying to get us both out the house – no problems at night. This week she has also been getting upset every time I do the daycare drop off. This morning was the worst and she kept crying and pushing away the daycare lady because she wanted to be ‘Up with Mommy’. As a FT working Mom, it breaks my heart to hear/see this and simply walk away. I know she is in great care as evidenced by her desire not to come home in the afternoon so I don’t believe it is a cry of something wrong at day care.
So for those parents out there that have gone through this, will it pass or is my daughter slowly becoming a “Mean Girl”? ;o)
It's a phase. Whether or not she actually becomes a mean girl depends on how you handle her challenges now. Equipping her to express herself in a respectful and polite way, as well as disciplining when the line of disrespect is crossed, will help. Please don't let your guilt prevent you from taking a strong line on disrespect, now or in the future - you'll regret it!
IMO, she's just becoming more independent.
Brushing teeth and being dropped off at child care are not optional, though, so you have to be tough when it counts.
Otherwise, let her pick her shoes, clothes, etc. even if that means she wears slippers O. day!
Heck. If you made it to 28 months before this started, count yourself lucky. Both of mine (a 5yo and 28 month old who seem to be particularly obstinate and independent) started this phase around 18 months.
That said, they do grow out of it. They just have to go through the Tyrannical Threes and Fearsome Fours first.
It gets better.
Seems most kids go through this. I know mine all did. Pick your battles. Yes brushing teeth isn' toptional. But yes, let her pick her outfit even if doesn'tmatch. Who cares? Day cares and preschools have seen it all!
One of my good friends sons went through a phase of always wanting to wear his spiderman outfit. And she let him. If her other boy wanted to wear snow boots in summer, she let them. And most of the time her kids were pretty quiet and content. Some kids fight a lot harder then others when it comes to making choices, some Dr.s will say that means they are smarter. Good Luck!
its a phase, your daughter isnt a mean girl (yet) Just wait til she hits three!!!!!!!
Phase. You can make it a little easier by finding ways to make the morning routine less rushed and talking things through with her. Like, "Let's choose our shoes now. I choose these for me because they match my purse. Which shoes do you choose to wear today? Great! Can I help you put them on?" If she won't choose and won't let you do it for her, put the shoes in her backpack and put her in the car screaming about it. You'll both be fine.
It will pass. I would suggest, however, that you have her make as many decisions regarding the next day the night before - e.g. which shoes she will wear, what she is going to have for breakfast.
Right around 2-1/2 to 3 yrs. I noticed in all my kids/grandkids that they started having separation anxiety. It passes quickly enough, but it is funny how the things they have always done, suddenly cause them to have anxiety. I think it's that they are more aware of the world and it is a bit overwhelming for them.
Anyway, take comfort in knowing all of this is a phase and will pass just in time for the next phase to set in!
