Is Having Children "Worth It?"

Everything is a trade off. Having children has taken a toll on my life in some ways and enriched my life in many others. I don't let people's personal baggage bother me on facebook. You shouldn't either.

Yes, it is worth it. However, it is not something that can be put into words, it is something you have to do to understand.

It depends on what you want to get out of it. Having a kid is hard and expensive, but worth it to me.

Although, to be fair, I think any parent who thinks they deserve a medal just for popping a kid out is as annoying as the childless people who hate children.

The only people that have kids I know of that say they wish they hadn't had kids are those that raised their kids to go on to institutions Of "higher learning" like Alcatraz or San Quentin, or Sing Sing.

Raising children is difficult at times. But it much less difficult to raise them if you taught them to behave early on. Its some what akin to walking a german sherpard that behaves and heels or a german shepard that tugs and pulls on the leash constantly and is always trying to run away with you holding on to the leash for dear life.

The feeling you get when your little girl comes up to you without your having said anything and gives you a hug and says, "mommy, I love you" or "Daddy I love you" is worth far more than all the stinky diapers you had to change. Having your teenage son come up and thank you for all that you did for him and that he couldn't have made it without you while wearing his cap and gown . . . Or your daughter comes home from a date and tells you she won't date him again because he wasn't a gentleman. And she looks at you and says she loves you.

Nothing beats a well raised family. Nothing at all. The love is never ending and so wonderful.

Good luck to you and yours.

I have spoken to a couple who was considering kids and answered basically this question. They are now (a few years later) expecting their first child.

It really depends. People do a lot of things that require dedication, money and sacrifice. I don't think I'm superwoman for having a child. I also don't think that loving something means you are exempt from sometimes complaining about it. I bet he's complained about his job, his spouse, his car....does that mean those things aren't worth having? And I do think that other things factor. A single mom is going to be more tired. A family trying to stretch a dollar is going to have more stress. The teens or college kids who didn't plan on a kid that soon probably vent more because they weren't ready. And it's hard.

I could point your friend to bloggers like Daddy Doin' Work, who love being parents. Not all bloggers are positive. Not all bloggers are negative. If you only read mean blogs, you need to look harder.

Not everyone should be a parent. I have friends who adore DD....and then adore sending her home. And that's fine. But for me? If I could go back to my 22 yr old "can't stand babies" self, I'd say, "That's okay. Just wait."

Because I'd do it again. Absolutely. All the sleepless nights, diapers, vomit, tantrums, "what do you mean you hit a Jeep with our car??" Sure, some challenges I'd like to avoid sometimes, but overall? Wouldn't trade. Nothing like holding a sleeping baby. Nothing like being proud of an accomplishment they worked hard to achieve. Nothing like "Momma, I just had to get out of bed one more time to say I love you."

I kind of equate it to how you feel tired but good after an honest day's work, or a good workout. It's a lot of work to raise a family. But it's good work. To me, it's worth it.

Parenting is the most difficult and thereby rewarding challenge there is. It forces you to overcome your selfishness, to confront your deepest fears, and to overcome your own greatest defects.

It is what it is.

"parents shouldn't be portrayed as heroic or special just because they decided to breed." I have to 100% agree with that. I'll save the heroics, for real heroes.

I would say, that I understood real purpose when my son was born. He felt like a divine gift. And I would tell them, that they won't even understand what that means until they become a parent. You don't understand how hard it is, until you become a parent. You don't understand why sometimes you just need to vent about how you just changed your shirt and got puked on immediately. Like so many things, you don't know true joy until you've been tested. Anything worth it, is hard. When I'm old and sitting in my rocker, I doubt I'll remember all the bad stuff. But I doubt even more, I will for a second regret going through it, to feel the good.

Parenting is one of those things that is hard to understand sometimes, until it happens to you. Of course it is totally worth it, but until someone decides themselves to have children, they may wonder what the big deal is, or why anyone would put themselves through it.

I think one of the things that people need to understand is that just because you love your children and you love being a parent doesn't mean you love everything about it. You wouldn't give them up for the world, but that doesn't mean you don't appreciate it when they are finally in bed for the night and you have some time to yourself.

People also need to understand the need to vent about anything that is difficult to deal with in life. Being a parent is hard. Being married is hard. Even my job as a veterinarian is hard sometimes. People think it's all playing with puppies and kittens and while that part does happen, and it's wonderful, not everything about it is a bed of roses. Still though, I can't imagine doing anything else, and that's how I feel about being a parent too.

There is no experience like having children. Does not mean it's for everyone, just there isn't anything else like it. There are those who will choose not to have kids, and that is fine, but they will never know what it is like. For me, the hope is that I am raising another human being who will carry on after I am gone, and will make a positive impact on others, and the world will be a little bit of a better place because of her. I know my life already is.

I have a one and only by choice and no regrets.

She graduates high school this year and will head to college in the Fal

NO regrets. We have thoroughly enjoyed our ride with her thorough these years.

In the beginning, I never wanted a child but when the clock started clicking around mid 30 my mind changed and I do not regret a moment of my pregnancy, and becoming mom to the most special daughter.

She's out on her senior prom tonight enjoying a special time and I have also enjoyed the preparation for her prom and more with mom/daughter mani/pedis, and making sure she has everything she needs this special night

So regrets.... NONE I've enjoyed every moment/transition of her newborn through now 18.

I also am a proponent of funding college so my child does not graduate with debt. That's a biggy for us as far as responsibly taking care of her well being .

You cannot feel pleasure unless you feel pain. You cannot understand happiness unless you have been sad......

Sure there are lows with raising kids. No one sits there rubbing their belly dreaming of the first time you are barfed on, peed on, poo anyone?

You just accept that as the price you pay to see that first smile, the hugs, the time your teen had a bad day and calls you mommy even though that isn't cool. :)

It isn't that we are too vocal about the bad side, it is people like your friend, who don't think we should breed, is only looking at the bad posts.

The love and affection you get in return makes everything worth it. Every bit of it! I would definitely still have children if I'd known everything I know now.

Having children is a gift...."what would you say?"- I know that God exists, I have seen Him.

i think once you have one, you know. until then, you have no idea.

and i think everyone should have a child. it shows you what life is really about. it makes you realize that this is the purpose we're here for.

i love my childless friends and family. but i know for a fact that as "happy" as they think they are (and i am sure they are just fine) - they will never know what it's like to be a parent - and that saddens me. because if you don't - i don't think you really realize HOW happy your life can be. you will never love any person or pet as much as you would love your own child. and no one else on the planet loves you like your kids. that's just a fact.

BUT...ya know...that's just me. i know not all moms feel the same. i'm sure there are childless people who are really as happy as some parents. those without the tools to make the best of it. to find the joy in it. *shrugs*. we're all different. not all of us find our bliss in the same place. but mine is in my child.

In answer to your question, I think this is one of those 'you have to walk the path to know it' sort of things.

Those who choose not to have kids have that option, and they are welcome to it. They are also welcome to keep their mouth shut about that opinion unless asked directly. I say this because as much as I believe in living a life focused on sustainability as much as possible, I live in Portland where I have read plenty of hostility and hatred on how the 'breeders' are ruining the planet. This usually comes in the form of 'first person singular' sort of pieces in the paper or on the forum the local rag runs.

I kinda want to give them a big "EFF YOU". Mainly because those sorts of statements imply a selfishness that's *beyond* their selfishness. I think this is a snarky, judgmental defensive address from those who choose to be child-free. It's fine if someone doesn't want to have kids, but to be openly hostile about other people making a different choice in having a family is just as bad as being prejudiced regarding race or religion or being a lookist. To be bashing other people for having families (god forbid!) is just as bad as people with families putting pressure on those happily child-free to have kids. Neither is ideal or pleasant.

I think having a child is a worthwhile venture if you are truly wanting one so badly that you are willing to gladly put other things on hold, and able to keep those choices in perspective. If you are so selfish that you moan, groan and complain about life after kids-- and I know people like this too, then yeah, probably the wrong life choice and that's really a shame.

Regarding the carbon footprint things, anyone can choose to live as environmentally consciously as they would like to be. I don't think families without kids have a monopoly on that way of living. I don't really care what other people are doing because I'm doing what *I* need to be doing.

The downsides, the Mommy blogs-- they are what you make it, you know? I post some pretty funny, trying stuff about being a parent on my blog. Everyone who knows me also know that I adore my son and husband. Nothing is perfect. So, your friend's friend having a vent online, on his friend's page... let me ask this, does his 'bent' on conservation give him a free pass to be a party pooper while your friend is enjoying Mother's Day? That, to me, sounds more like a personality problem than an environmental one. Maybe he's blowing up the ozone with his hot air, when he should be working on conserving his thoughts for a more appropriate time to share them.

Sorry to vent so much, but this is a sore spot for me. I was childless by choice, and then not by choice, and then had a baby. But I never hated on a group of people doing what we are biologically wired to do!

there's just not one right answer.
obviously for most of us it's WAY worth it. but as you say, some people aren't wired for it, but end up with kids either because of mistakes or societal expectations. it's a pity for all concerned.
but there are also situations where people who really want kids turn out, through circumstances or psychology, to be far more unsuited for it than they thought. there was a blog recently that garnered a ton of whip-back mail. i can't remember the exact scenario, but it was written by a mother who was mothering rather dutifully as opposed to ecstatically, and it really pissed a lot of people off.
of course one never wants kids to hear that they're not 100% loved and wanted. but i think it's a shame too that people feel constrained about expressing honest reservations about it, for fear of the avalanche of fury it will engender.
i've always wanted kids, and being a mom has always been and continues to be one of the greatest joys of my life. but i realize i'm lucky in that. even for me it hasn't been an unmixed blessing, and for many it's a much harder row to hoe.
while your friend's friend might be less than tactful, i do take his point that people should give a lot more thought to having kids than they do. it'll never happen, though.
khairete
S.

Motherhood required me to make many ongoing changes, sacrifices, and hard decisions. I had to become stronger, more patient, more resilient, and more focused. I had to learn to ask for help, be vulnerable, admit defeat, and sometimes offer myself compassion.

I came into motherhood entirely unprepared but when my daughter was born, my life began. My heart felt love in a way I didn't know was possible. It felt like - like a miracle.

Then my niece came to live with us. I was naive and thought the process would be easier and simpler than it has been. I thought I had more strength and energy than I have had. It's been utterly challenging and exhausting at times. But then, she gives me a hug and looks at me with her huge green eyes, and I feel I have wings and I can do anything.

Having children can be difficult. Heartbreaking even.

Before children, my heart lived in a cocoon where it found protection. Now my heart is exposed, and I feel connected to every other mother who has worried and loved. I find this feeling overwhelming at times, when I think about how important every child is to their mother, and how many mothers and their babies do not have what they need to be safe in this world. Having children has made me care about this world in a way that can feel painful. But I would not trade it, for it gives me purpose and drive. I am dedicated to making things right.

Is having children worth the sleepless nights and worry, the choices and plans I've had to put on hold, the struggle and frustration, the loneliness and exhaustion that I feel sometimes?

Of course it is. My children gave me my heart and voice. My little children love and trust me unconditionally. They are a sweet gift and they teach me about the world and myself.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to crumble, and I often make mistakes. Still, it's all worth it.

It's personal.
Having my child is worth it for me - but that means nothing to the next person.
I don't care about convincing the next person that kids are worth it or not.
If it means nothing to them - then they shouldn't have kids.

I was happy with my life before I had my daughter. It had its ups and downs, but it was a pretty good life.
I was happy with my life after having my daughter. It has had its ups and downs, but it's been a pretty good life.
If I knew before having her what all would happen, I probably would not have had her, simply because the ups and downs of a life with kids tend to be more intense than without. But that doesn't mean that I WISH she had never been born,. I love her and she has grown into the sort of person that I would want in my life even if she didn't have my DNA.

I don't think that "everyone should have a child." Some people don't have the personality to be good parents, some people just don't like kids. And I would never assume that people only "think they're happy" without kids. People know if they're happy or not.
Being a parent wasn't my "purpose." I got pregnant, It wasn't planned, I made a deliberate decision, after carefully weighing my options, to have and raise the baby.
When I got pregnant a second time four years later, I made the decision to terminate. I don't regret becoming a parent once and I don't regret not becoming a parent a second time.

There are plenty of "parents" out there who had no business having children. I would never try to talk someone around to wanting children, because it is a hard job and you should want to take it on.
If I have a friend who is pregnant for the first time and understandably freaking out, I would tell them the great things about being a parent. You get to re-live the very best parts of your childhood and try to fix the crappy parts. You have someone who loves you when you wake up with bad hair and morning breath- not "loves you anyway," like your spouse, but just doesn't see the gross because it is you, their amazing Mommy/Daddy. You get to pass on part of yourself, through biology or wisdom or both. You get to go to kids movies and Disneyland and Christmas morning rocks. You realize that the world will continue once you leave it. You don't take yourself so seriously. And they are likely only in your home for 18 years, and those years can fly by.

Children are your legacy. My own life would not have any meaning or importance if it weren't for my 3 kids. Everything else in life is superficial--money, career, house, education, material things, freedom, travelling. All of that "stuff" is great, but after having too much and doing too much, it's meaningless and boring after a while. You can have so many "things," but what value do you have when you don't have a child?

Granted, I am not a big kid person nor am I the best mother (just read some of my prior posts), but I'd give up my life in a heartbeat for my kids. I CHOSE to have them and THEY are my everything. Of course being a parent is difficult at times, but for me, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My kids are my world.

Eh, I don't think that it's very important to try to change the views of a militant Child Free By Choice wingnut. For them, it really isn't worth it to go through the expense and effort and time and everything else it takes to be a parent... not even the emotional benefits. Not the end results. I think it's perfectly acceptable to let them have their viewpoint because while I disagree with it, I can understand it. The only issue I would have is being insulted to my face, or having my childrens' feelings hurt because I would be sure to do the courtesy of not trying to convince them that I'm "more right" than they are by having a family that includes children. It takes all kinds of families. That includes Child Free families.

While I don't begrudge anyone's decision not to have children, and there are people who should not have children, I generally find that point of view hopeless and sad.

Children ARE the future. Nothing worth doing or having is easy.

It doesn't have to be children you physically birthed, either. It could be that student you nurture at school, or the grand-child you give a soft place to land.

I loved 8KidsDad's answer.

Did you see my post a few weeks back on the W. who publicly stated she HATED being a mother? Her biggest regret in life is having children and she said it LOUDLY and PROUDLY!!

Some people are NOT cut out to be parents.

There are parents who desperately want more children but can't stand changing a diaper and will fight over it. Doesn't mean they don't like being a parent - there are some 'duties' that people just don't like to do (like some don't like cleaning toilets) but it's a fact of life. It's not forever. But they still complain.

There are some people who LOVE to complain. Just to complain and will NOT take ANY advice for change. They thrive on the drama and attention their complaints give them.

If I could tell someone who is on the fence about having children? I will tell them the truth. I would not change my children for ANYTHING...no amount of money. nothing. We have good days, bad days, horrible days and awe-inspiring days...that's life. Some people just can't recognize it. I cry tears of joy. Tears of sadness. I laugh at my mistakes as well as theirs...there are days I wanna hang 'em up by their toe nails! :) There are days when I won't let them out of my sight...being a parent is a joy. being a parent can hurt. Over all? there are more good days than bad days and as I watch my children grow up? Seeing all that they are becoming? I swell with pride...

I knew what raising kids was like before I had my own, I raised two stepkids first. They were 20 & 17 when I had my daughter at age 41. I would do it all - stepkids and my own - again in a heartbeat! Was is hard? I suppose. What thing worth doing isn't hard? I don't feel like I "gave up" a thing. I made a choice and all choices open up some options and close others. I could've traveled the world for the money I contributed to raising kids (even just the money I contributed to the lawyers just to keep visitation) but then I would've missed out on all the other great stuff.

I'm not one for much whining. Many have it harder than I, and I was raised to work hard. I love my kids, and my grandkids. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I would say that despite being exhausted, elated and fascinated every day, I still want one more :-)

We all need to vent. I used to vent about work, I listen to my friends without kids vent about work. Would I ask them is work worth it?

Yes, I would absolutely do it again if I could go back in time.

Someone that would seriously ask that question probably shouldn't be a parent anyway.

I can remember being a teenager and having my Dad talk to me about having kids. (I have a horrible relationship with him and he is toxic) He kept wanted to interrogate me as to why I eventually wanted kids. I remember not being able to put it in words other than "I just do".

I very rarely hear people that have kids say that they regret their decision to have their kids. I hear them say that they wish they would have waited longer to have kids or they wish they would have had children with someone else...but really never that they wish they had never had children at all.

My kids are one of the areas of my life that give me a sense of worth. I know that whatever I do in life, I have made these amazing little beings.

we love to complain how hard it is don't we? I try to keep these conversations to a minimum around people without kids. I can certainly see why he thinks the way he does. He also sounds like a bit of a jerk, so I wouldn't concern myself with his comments. But I do make sure to tell people without kids that they make your heart overflow with love and fill your life with purpose and meaning. I tell them its hard to explain why something that takes so much work is so worth it, but all you have to do is see that people actually have more than one, which proves that its worth it.

The thing about children being an "adventure" is that sometimes the adventure is great and sometimes it's awful. People who talk about or write about both aspects of it are both right.

If we always have to say everything is wonderful, then we aren't "keeping it real". There's nothing wrong with keeping it real.

The guy who argued on the FB post just needs to be defriended, though. That wasn't the appropriate place for him to vent his negative views. If he wants to say that stuff, then he can write it on his OWN wall. Not beat up his friends for writing about parenthood on their walls.

Good question H.. My adult son gives me unconditional love that I only felt from my parents. Now that my parents are deceased and my sisters are I are estranged--his love is all I have in the family. My nieces side with their parents although they email me occasionally to say hello. I feel so sad that that man felt that way.

I have a Masters Degree, a career, own a home, own a car, have money tucked away for retirement, etc. But, my life would be a BIG ZERO if I had not become a mother.

I don't vent about my kids on FB, or any other social media site. I also do not send out broad messages due to a holiday. I sent text messages to the moms I know and love.
I agree with most of your responses. People that do not have children can not understand both how wonderful and difficult it can be.
I usually mask my vents by highlighting funny moments-and I save these conversations for other parents that will see the humor.
My kids are still young, but there are times when I look back on previous years and wonder how I did so much. And every time I decide I wouldn't be nearly as happy in my life with out the kids. I might run myself ragged-but I don't envy my single childless friends in the least.

I would NEVER try to convince someone to have kids. Objectively the world would be WAY better off if fewer people had kids and if everyone who had kids, had only one. I don't really see this as 'hatred' or anything like that. We are consuming too much of the earth's resources and changing the climate in a way that will directly harm our grandchildren - if not our children. If that is not selfish, I don't know what is.

I do think people should strongly consider having only one child. I had one because I believe it is selfish to have more. People who feel this way do not 'hate children' - they recognize that the solution to an overpopulated planet is to have fewer children. Not to hope that they give birth to the one brilliant child who can figure out another solution to the problem than the obvious one.

Also - children are expensive, time consuming, limit travel and are always a huge potential source of deep grief - because something could happen to them.

I am very happy I have my son. I would do it again, but I would also be happy if he had never happened. Looking at how many abused and abandoned children there are in the world, there are many people who truly should never have had children.

For those who feel that G-D will fix this - didn't he supposedly entrust us with taking care of the world?

Parenting is tough. But so are other things. Living life well, takes a lot of efforts. Keeping a job takes efforts. Maintaining friendships and relationships takes efforts. Hobbies need efforts. Its all about one's choices.
If having a child is not the biggest thing to someone, then so be it. Its their prerogative. All said and done, parenting has this one cool stuff - you create life. Now that kind of empowerment and responsibility is something hard to beat, isn't it?

I guess someone forgot to take their pill,huh? LOL i can see where that person is coming from but really? Your friend mustve been thinking "what did i do?" Lol

I have a 3yo,i had her when i was 24. Not bad,right? I'm a university graduate and had a good job then. But looking back,I wish I waited a little bit more when im 100% confident that im financially ready so i can afford nothing but the best for her. Aside from that,she's all worth it!

If I had known what parenthood would be like before having kids, I probably would not have had them. I love my kids but I have told this to my sister and other female friends who don't yet have kids.

People are so weird when it comes to this. Of COURSE not everyone thinks children are worth having both in populations with and without kids.

I have one friend who never had kids, but she did want them. When we discussed it, her position was that deep down, EVERYONE wants kids, it's not natural not to want them. HUH??!! I didn't kick her when she was down or anything by disagreeing, I just listened and thought to myself OF COURSE not everyone wants kids just like not everyone wants to live in snowy climates or tropical ones or big cities or farms or be vegetarians or hunters or WHATEVER lifestyle choices are out there. Some people think kids are worth it and some don't. This guy on your FB thread doesn't. And unless he's a vegan who grows his own food and walks to work and recycles everything I'm no too interested in his stance that other people are over-burdening the earth by having kids. Are parents heroes? Not always. Some people hate their kids and wish they were never born because they are unfit parents.

Should people be so vocal about the struggles of child-rearing or of the converse: Earth's overpopulation? Sure. Freedom of speech.

Why is it worth having kids to me? It lets me experience love and give love every day of my life and I believe they will benefit the world. With that said, I do think that some of my childless friends are doing much more for the world directly at times with their dedication and time..so that can be frustrating, but I tell myself both causes are valuable.

Being a parent is not all roses and sunshine. It can be hard, very hard, and unrewarding at times. There are times the sounds of my kids fighting is like a cheese grater being dragged a crossed my brain! But the hugs, the kisses, the giggles, the "i love you mommie"s, the heart filled with joy, pride, and love, make it well worth it.

I love being a mom!! I think lots of people really don't but they don't have amazing kids like my son or they have more than they can handle and it is stressful. I don't think I am heroic or special. I am special and a hero to my son and he is special and a hero to me. That is all that matters. I feel blessed every day.

having kids is not and should not be for everyone. it's hard work. it's thankless (first few years), and takes away everything you knew about yourself. dreams are put on hold. life is put on hold as you raise these kids. if i could say anything to childless couples, i'd say adopt. there are so many kids out there that need home and love. i would say adopt. or sponsor.

Motherhood is a challenge. It's the best challenge ever. I could never imaging myself without my children. I can't speak for everyone but any Mother of more that one child has understood what Mothering is about and chosen to do it again.

It is absolutely, unequivocally worth it. My children give me purpose; they bring a meaning to my life that nothing else ever could.

Why is it worth it? Because nothing else makes me happier than seeing my children happy and proud of themselves; nothing bring me greater joy than hearing they laugh and nothing makes my heart melt more than little arms around my neck and an "I love you mama."

To look for quantifiable rewards in parenthood is to miss the point of raising children. You don't (or shouldn't!) become a parent because YOU want something out of it. It is the most selfless role - if done properly - and is often without thanks for a long while. There are no gold stars or blue ribbons. But there are hugs and kisses, moments of pure happiness and joy, and so many amazing moments that I could never put into words.

It's worth it because it's worth it.

I've been noticing more and more of those articles and blogs that complain about the woes of parenthood. They're giving parenthood a bad rap and making all parents seem like whiners. Is it difficult? Of course. But that doesn't mean that all parents feel that way.....it's mostly just the ones who had certain expectations of having children that weren't met. And I feel badly for those parents, but especially those kids.

Of course! I mean as nuts as kids can drive you, who of us would not jump in front of a Mac truck to throw our child out of it's way without even a thought of our safety? It goes well beyond is it worth it to me. There is a bond in your soul to your children that goes well beyond reason. I think people who don't have this, something is really wrong, I mean like a mother who was unhappy she had children, she needs help, it's not normal. I also think that some people have a warped idea that having children is about only them. I mean yeah I wanted kids but I gave these kids life so they could join the story of humanity for themselves. I get them for about a minute and then off they go.... Getting married, having children, giving in your community, these are normal parts of life. We have a strong single community in our country and they are not less important at all, they have needs though like every person to be connected to others, to give of oneself etc, they just have to find other outlets for those human needs. So yeah, a stomach bug going thru your house again, and being beyond words exhausted does not diminish your level of joy even if you share it on Facebook:). Your friend sounds like someone looking for meaning in a way you can't find it. You can't rock the earth at night or laugh hysterically while a tree blows bubbles at you. Your heart can't swell with pride as a mouuntsin graduates....you know? we need eachother, habing kids Is a part of that.You also can't judge a person's overall joy by blips and tidbits from their life. At some point you just have to decide what you want in life ultimately and go from there. Life with kids is messy, loud, hard and so so beautiful :)

Having kids is the best choice that my husband and I have made together. Everyone's entitled to their opinions, so I guess one can argue that he has the right to express those opinions. Do I disagree? Yes. But, I can see how people have different feelings about having children. It isn't a black or white issue. Many people have issues that cause them NOT to want kids. Perhaps he isn't identifying those issues or feelings? But to answer your question, YES, I would still have children if I knew ahead of time what parenthood would be like.

The only time you should ask this question is BEFORE you have kids. Once you have them, it's all systems "go". No looking back.

I have always felt that anyone who has NOT had children has absolutely no right expressing an opinion on whether HAVING children is "worth it" or not. It is just not possible to understand that bond a parent has with their child. It's so different than the bond a child has with his/her parent IMO.

I probably would have been plenty happy had I not had children (that was my original plan in fact). I could be more selfish with my time. I'd be in great shape. I could travel the world more frequently, spend more money on myself and my husband, etc. However, in no way do I regret having had children.

I always tell people that are debating on whether or not to have kids, that they'll never know what they're missing if they don't have them. And I mean that literally. You WON'T know, and you probably won't CARE, and I think that's just fine.

As for the NOT having kids due to environmental concerns, I "get" that, as someone with HUGE concerns about our environment; however, I think about what a highly intelligent veterinarian friend (married to a highly intelligent scientist man) once said to me many years ago: It was something about "improving" the overall gene pool. There's also a song from the 90's I think with the lyrics "stupid people are breeding..." I'll probably offend some with this paragraph, but I think it's a point worth arguing, and it's probably what I would have posted to this guy on FB in defense of my decision to have children.

I have two children, and it's completely worth it to me; I love them and I'm excited for the people they are becoming.

However, after much contemplation about the best solutions to the world's problems, I've come to the conclusion that one of the least selfish, most helpful actions a person can take for the planet is to adopt instead of have children of their own. The world population is already too big, and continues to grow. Each day, around 21,000 children die (equivalent to 1 child every 4 seconds). People who adopt instead of having their own children are helping to control population growth, as well as preventing the suffering and death of children who are already here. A decade of world-wide access to birth control, along with encouraging able adults to forgo having children and instead care for the millions of suffering children, could put an end to needless poverty and death.

Of course, that's a fantasy, because there's no way everyone in the world would comply.