Introducing Table Manners/ Comportment

as soon as they're eating independently. My daycare kids transition from the high chair to kiddie chairs between 12-15 months. At that point, manners are taught & enforced. They all do great with this....

Even though you might not think they understand, they watch everything we do. Introducing table manners starts as soon as they are eating family meals at the table with parents.

If you want him to learn to stay in his chair and do quiet activities, you have to keep consistently putting him in his chair and give him quiet activities to engage him. When I took my boys to restaurants, I brought small quiet toys, books, and snacks (cheerios and goldfish crackers). It also helps if you buckle him in or put the booster seat inside the booth with you or hubs sitting on the outside...easier to grab him if he tries to take off.

The more often you go out the easier it will be to teach him how to behave. Also, be consistent at home. Don't think that you can allow him to tear around the house during mealtime and then take him out and expect him to be angelic. Mealtime rules should be the same across the board.

Best of luck!

You have been teaching him manners from day one. He's learning from you and hubby how to behave in public. The problem is, he's still really young, and it will be a looong time before he totally gets it!

So yes, keep telling him and showing him what is acceptable behavior when eating out, but be realistic about his ability and understanding and understand that eating out with a toddler is a lot of work and sometimes embarrassing because they're still learning.

There is nothing you can do about what other people think and say. If it's a family restaurant, they need to chill and deal. This is what ALL kids are like at one point or another. They're kids. As for being a nuisance to you, that's all a state of mind IMO. You only feel that way if you are spending the whole time worrying about what others are thinking. Most of the time, people are NOT put out by children at restaurants. And if they are, they're usually a crazy person who would find any myriad of reasons to complain or say something to someone because they're just an unhappy or self-entitled person to start with. Face it, it's going to happen, but you have to remember, you all have a right to be there...as much as the crumudgeon who dislikes children. They have the choice to move or leave. Or, better yet, choose a restaurant that doesn't host families if they don't like chatty or busy children. JMO :) So do yourself a favor, and enjoy yourself and don't make yourself overly or unnecessarily concerned about whether your child is bothering others. You will quickly find, that neither you nor the other restaurant patrons will think your child is a nuisance, but being a typical child having a great time in a new environment.

With that said, most would agree a child should not run through the restaurant mostly for safety reasons, and for that, your best approach is to have a system in place that helps "prevent' problem behavior before it gets started. And then have a backup plan in place for when things don't go well and he's insisting on doing his own thing!

So here's the prevention: First and foremost, short of having to attend something at a particular restaurant, always choose places that are considered family friendly. There are books that list such restaurants and your local paper or local parenting or social magazines probably have lists as well.

Once at the restaurant, don't seat him in a chair at the table or a booth seat without a booster chair or use a high chair. To a small kid, being seated in a regular chair or the booth with no restraint is an invite to run free and squirm and climb all over and under the table.

With our kids, we made them use a booster seat until they were about 3 and half or 4ish. We seldom had trouble with them darting about or crawling under the table. If we did, it was because one of us forgot to snap them back in after a bathroom break or having to leave the booth for some reason. Be aware, once they get loose, it's next to impossible to get them back in the seat. So get them used to the idea immediately upon arrival, and things will go much smoother. Try to do bathroom breaks and wash hands before getting seated, so you don't have to get out of the booth or seat until you leave the restaurant.

Unfortunately, very often, restaurant boosters and high chairs seldom have belts. So consider purchasing a portable one that has an adjustable lap belt and keep it in your car for when the restaurant doesn't have what you need. And be sure to use the lap belt! He may protest, but it is the best way to get the idea across that he needs to remain seated while eating. See: http://www.bing.com/shopping/my-chair-portable-booster-se...

Always get a booth, and have him seated close to the wall so it's harder to slip out. Always have him seated next to a parent, or inbetween parents.

Next, be sure to bring entertainment that is portable and fairly absorbing so they remain quiet and calm. Those placemats for kids to color are useless with someone so young. They scribble for a few minutes and then they're ready to run. It's worse if you happen to be at a high end/non-family type restaurant, where they may not provide anything to entertain your child at all. So, be sure that whatever your portable entertainment of choice ultimately is, you do not use it other than for restaurant visits. That keeps it special and something he'll look forward to. See:

http://www.amazon.com/Restaurant-Rescue-Kit-Guide/dp/1935...

http://www.amazon.com/Personalized-Crayola-Doodlebugz-Pla...

http://www.folkmanis.com/fingerpup_detail.php

http://www.amazon.com/I-Play-G02359-Iplay-Peek-A-Boo-Pack...

http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Waldo-Ultimate-Travel-Collec...

http://www.amazon.com/Gamewright-318-Rorys-Story-Cubes/dp...

http://www.amazon.com/My-Foodie-ABC-Placemats-Activities/...

You'd have to make the following, but they'll be very entertained!

http://www.amazon.com/Origami-Go-Paper-Folding-Projects-T...

(The next book has a section with games you can play while traveling with toddlers)

http://www.amazon.com/365-Games-Smart-Toddlers-Play/dp/14...#

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3529052

Backup plan: So you did all of the preventative stuff, and things are still going awry. Now it's time to just realize you may have to cut things short. Before that, trying moving them so they're seated by a different parent, take the child to the bathroom or for a walk to the car until they settle, or if necessary, don't be afraid to leave (in the case of a tantrum) it happens.

If there is a crowd or a long wait for service, find a different restaurant if possible. Perhaps he is easily overstimulated by noise and crowds. Avoid going out during naptimes, if he's tired, or sick. He's already wired to misbehave if he's not up to par. If you are needing to eat out for a break and he's cranky or in rare form, consider a drive-thru restaurant or somewhere where the kids can run crazy. LOL!

If he's hungry and not willing to wait patiently for food, I don't need to tell you that isn't fun. Especially if he's bored too. So pick a quiet time to go out to eat between 4pm to 6pm is ideal, or find a place that isn't crowded, and if you don't do so already, have an emergency snack on hand, just in case, or order an appetizer to help calm hunger until food arrives.

my daughter has always been pretty good, but shes also a kid and she knows we dont put up with her acting up. she squirms in her seat (we get booths and she doesnt use a booster hasnt since she was around 18 months or two yrs) and she is three yrs old now, she knows you dont yell, climb around the table, you stay sat in your seat and eat your meal, lately shes been sitting there and colors until her meal comes and then eats and colors until everyone else is done eating. but part of what we do when we go out to eat is go BEFORE its normally dinner time and then by the time you get your meal she is ready to eat and not super hungry and grouchy.

We started at 2. My girls are pretty good now, 4 1/2 and 5 1/2. I get compliments on their mealtime behavior all the time. My son is turning 10 months and is still at the easy stage, but I remember from my girls that from age 1 - 2, was a challenge a bit.

As soon as my children could sit in a high chair we started with table manners. It's never too soon. We started manners immediately by setting examples. That's how children learn. We've always said "please" and "thank you" in their presence and used manners with other people AND with our children which means our children our very polite and more likely to use manners themselves in most situations. They need reminders very rarely. They've never needed reminders not to run around restaurants because they were never allowed to do that during dinner at home. We treat meals at home as if they were in a restaurant. That's just how it's always been. It was like that for my husband growing up and it was like that for me from early, early childhood so it was natural for us to teach our children that way.

I started around 2. First just talking about manners, and pointing out when they could be better, but not insisting on behavior changes. As they got older, I'd insist more and more that their manners are up to par. We still work on it at home, but they are little dolls when we go anywhere else. Looks like I'm being tested again :)

He'll get there. I don't remember the exact age, but DD has been learning to eat with the family since she could sit in a high chair.

When you eat at home, try not to let him run around or do things that you wouldn't want him to do elsewhere. Kids who are used to eating on the go will want to go when out.

Recognize that little kids can't sit as long and bring soft toys and crayons and other entertainment items. Take turns walking him somewhere he won't disturb others. Bring some snacks so he's not hungry and waiting. Bring his own cup. Choose restaurants that are quick (We like Indian and Thai vs a steakhouse with little kids along - little ones can eat spring rolls, breads, etc.)

If he's really unmanageable that day, say "check please!" get a box and go home.