Let Your Child or Not Let Your Child Play Under the Table at a Restaurant?

I do not allow my children to be under the table at any mealtime -- whether home or out. And it has nothing to do with germs. It has to do with manners.

I know how tough it is to have a grown-up conversation when you are out with young kids. But that's what we signed-up for when we became Mommies. When you really need it, get a sitter and leave the kids at home.

I don't let my son under the table when we go out for a couple of reasons. The first being that it is completely nasty. I'm not a germaphobe, but considering all of the shoes that go under there from who knows how many people makes my skin crawl. Also, I think that going out is an opportunity to teach table manners and how to behave out in public. I do let my son bring a couple of toys (usually small cars) so he won't be bored and trying to get into everything, but I do make him sit at the table and be polite. Just my opinion.

No definitely not. Children need to learn appropriate behavior. I never had a problem with carrying on a conversation with a friend with my children along.

Don't get me wrong, I value every moment of adult conversation I can get (especially as a middle school teacher), but I prefer my child sit at the table so he learns how to act at a restaurant. I believe if they don't learn when they are young, what behavior can I realistically expect when they start getting older. If they grow up knowing they must sit and behave at the table, then that is what they will do (knowing we will have some bumps, meaning tantrums, on the way). We do bring along activities to do at the table while waiting for food though- cars, coloring, play phone. I have 2 sisters- one who lets her children wander around, get up, play around the table, etc. and one who doesn't. The one who lets her children get up, has a teenager who still doesn't necessarily behave appropriately and the other has two very well behaved children at restaurants and they are much younger- 6 & 9. So, I'm choosing to to my child manners and sit at the table until we are done (he will be expecting to ask to be excused from the dinner table too when he is older). We're pretty strict about manners and respect in our home.

Absolutely not!

If you want 5 minutes of grown up conversation, then you need to do it at home or a place where it is appropriate for your child to be up, out, and about. If your child cannot entertain himself or herself appropriately or you do not wish to be bothered with entertaining your child, then you shouldn't go to restaurants until they're ready (I have two children and appropriate behavior is an expectation).

At a restaurant, children should be seated in a high chair, booster seat, chair or a booth, and be able to sit there for the duration of the meal. I completely understand if they are incapable of doing this, given their age and attention span. However, if this is the case then they are too young to be taken to restaurants OR you need to work with them on manners before taking them again.

We've been taking our son to a restaurant since he was an infant and we expect him to behave appropriately. If it is a bad day or if he starts acting up, we're out of there. Crawling around on the floor is gross and totally inappropriate.

If you really need time for grown up conversation, perhaps you should take turns with your friends cooking meals at each others' homes where it is okay for a child to behave like this.

Letting children play in restaurants is a very mainland Asian thing to do (go to the "best" floating restaurant in Hong Kong at 9pm... and you will find tuxedos/sequins & hair to the 9's... and it will be absolutely awash with children. Under the tables, running, playing, making new friends). So in Asia (and in true Chinese/DimSum restaurants) kiddo is set free. Our fav Dim Sum place in Seattle he's even been brought back into the kitchen, helped wheel the trolly, brought special treats every time... and is our table "ambassador" to the children at other tables.

In the US, it's absolutely not allowed (culturally speaking).

Now we do occasionally break cultural taboos (like on road trips, we ask the Applebee's/TGIF'S/etc hostess to seat us in an empty section so little bodies can bounce the wiggles out on the seats while not disturbing the other diners), but in general the way that we teach manners is to be able to move fluidly in between cultural expectations. These also vary within subcultures. Socioeconomic, regional, private, public, etc.

Just as an example; I know every fork to use (whoop de do ;)... but I also know it's the HEIGHT of bad manners *not* to put my elbows on the table at a ribs place, or in any environment where my hostess is. Not using a napkin is as deadly in some social circles, as asking for one is in another. It all varies.

I also have a certain level of whether or not I *care* about cultural rules. In the US, where I'm comfortable... I relax quite a bit.... because I know the rules so well. So to answer your question: There are times and situations, where I have no problem at all with kiddo diving back and forth under the table or spending time under there (even though both are against cultural rules) as long as he washes his hands before he eats... and times where that is 100% not allowed (for either safety or manners). In a Red Robin type family restaurant that's *relatively* clean (family restaurants are filthy, but rarely have things like used needles on the floor) I might. In a hole-in-the wall or jacket required or quasi-romantic place I don't. Fast food both doesn't count as a restaurant, AND is likely to have dangerous substances/objects (like needles) on the floor.

In no case though, is he allowed to bump/bother/harasses or otherwise annoy other diners by his actions. (Ahem, do note that I did not say presence, but actions -like yelling, kicking the booth, etc. Merely the presence of a child annoys some people... and they can go live in a compound somewhere.)

<grinning> My one major caveat is this: If kiddo is putting himself on timeout (he's adhd, and has strong emotions that he's working very hard on learning to control), or needs to escape for a minute (overwhelmed) I'll break nearly any rule on the planet to facilitate that process.

NO, an eating out experience is a chance for children to exhibit their best table manners. My best friend lets her kids run around the restaurant and play and it drives me nuts. They get my kids going and pretty soon the other diners are getting upset. If you are wanting time to visit with your friends then have the meal at one of your homes so the kids can got play with their toys.

Plus those floors are very filthy. No telling what the person who just left had on their shoes, dog pooh, puke, dirt is aobut the cleanest thing that can be on it....

Absolutely not. I expect my children to have manners and behave according to their age at a restaurant. If you want adult conversation, get a sitter. Its rude to allow your child to play under the table at a restaurant.

Absolutely NOT! And not for the fact that you get adult conversation, but for the fact that that type of behavior is completely unacceptable out at a restaurant! If my kids were to get under the table, there would be some serious consequences. I would be completely embarrassed if I were at a restaurant with you and your child was under the table. I'm not saying that to attack you or be mean, but I've gone to dinner with my cousin before, and was completely appalled by how loud she allowed her kids to be inside a restaurant. Here's the thing. Kids are going to be kids, but they need to be taught what kinds of behaviors are acceptable in public places. The people around you at restaurants are paying good money to eat out. How enjoyable can it be for them if kids are running around or being disruptive? When my kids were little, if they started acting up, I left, for one simple reason.......TO BE COURTEOUS OF THOSE AROUND ME. I wish more parents would do this

Hi L.. As a former restaurant manager I would NOT let my child play under a table or in a bathroom in any public venue. Basicly it seems like people forget basic hygine and manners when they are not at home. I mean really, do you stick gum under your table? Do you discard femine hygine stuff where-ever in your bathroom or use a trash can? How about putting your feet on chairs, or walls? Simply tossing a papertowel in a trash can or flusshing a toilet seems to be beyond some people when out and about. Frankly after spending years scrubbing basebords, table and chair legs, gum off of table bottoms, and walls around sinks and toilets I don't think you should even put your purse or diaperbag on a floor either! If you want adult conversaition hire the nearest teen as a babysitter and go out alone for dinner or wait til after your child's bedtime. Best wishes.

Dear L.,
In my opinion, letting children play under tables in restaurants or at home during meal time is definitely not okay. Things can be a little more relaxed in your own home if that's your decision, but personally, I believe that good manners start at home. I've taken my children to restaurants since they were newborns. When they were that little, we would get a booth in the back where I could put a blanket over my chest and nurse if need be with no one any the wiser. As they got older, if they got squirmy or acted up, they were taken outside. Which in all honesty, only happened a couple of times. Going out to eat was a treat so good behavior was certainly expected. As I said, manners at the table at home were expected as well so it wasn't much of a stretch when it came to restaurants. A 3 year old is certainly old enough to stay seated and if you've been in the habit of allowing your son under the table, that's a habit that you will now need to break.
If you need 5 minutes of adult conversation, and we all do, maybe a restaurant isn't the time or place for it with your son along until he masters being able to sit and color or play with a toy or two while you are waiting for your order, check, etc. Another thing children need to learn is not to interrupt when adults are speaking. Not to say that they can't join in or be part of a conversation but there are times when they need to not interrupt. That starts at home too.
Your son will probably be no worse for wear, heaven only knows what he's ingested from under restaurant tables thus far, but as I said, now it's a habit you will have to break.
I'm sure you are a wonderful person and a fabulous mother, but if I saw your son playing under a table in a restaurant, I would be horrified.
I think there are at least two places you should never let your child on the floor. One is in a hospital and another is in a restaurant. Think of the foot traffic alone in a restaurant and the fact that under the table is where people put their feet. They could have stepped in anything and had it on their shoes not to mention the dropped food and gum and who knows what else. Even if it's a nice, more upscale restaurant, a child under the table, still inappropriate.
I wish you the best and hope you get some great advice on alternatives.

No way. It's really dirty, as you found out. Plus, I think it's rude. My kids will go under the table to retrieve a crayon or something dropped, but they are not allowed to linger under there. Like another mom said, I expect my children to have manners and know how to sit at a table in a restaurant. The only way they learn this is by doing it.

When my kids were little and I wanted a nice, quiet dinner with adult conversation, I hired a sitter so my husband and I could enjoy ourselves.

If my son "needs" to play and I need to have adult conversation, we can have a lunchdate at my house, or I meet my friends at McDonalds or some similar place with an indoor playground. He can think he's playing the video games, or air hockey, and slide to his heart's content. He can run around throwing the tiny basketball and climbing the plastic tree, and get all his energy out. I always sit near the door facing the play area, so he won't slip past me and I can watch him no matter how engrossed in conversation I may be. Going to a "real" restaurant (anything where you sit at a table and eat food that does not have a designated play area) is for sitting and eating. If I'm bringing my preschooler along, I give him a pen and paper (for some reason that holds his attention more than crayons and a coloring sheet, I do not know why), one hot wheel, a comic book. If I want to have adult conversation and a minimum amount of argument from him, we'll go to a Mexican restaurant where he'll be quite happy to eat chips and salsa, maybe some queso, and be totally happy with that. When his enchilada or quesadilla comes, he eats it all. Pizza works too. For us, anything else is a crapshoot. Figure out what works best for your kid and do that. HOWEVER: I've read some moms thinking this is not realistic, that a kid can't sit for an hour and a half. NO they can't. So don't take that long! You don't lower your standards or disrespect patrons just because you want to linger over dinner. That's what a babysitter is for....or again, go to a place where they CAN go play! It's not ok to do "whatever" at the chagrin of other paying customers, just because you choose to. Don't get me wrong, I have had toddler meltdowns and all that. But we get a to go box and discuss the issue when we get home. Not really talking about that-it happens-but choosing to let children run around a dining area in a public restaurant, or play on the floor is simply inappropriate. Period.
The worst is that I am very protective of my time with my husband. Sometimes he works a lot of hours, and we have to really work to see each other. Even if we're just stealing a moment at a simple restaurant (doesn't have to be upscale) nothing bothers me more than us paying a babysitter to be able to have 45 minutes to ourselves and then having to deal with OTHER peoples' children. If little ones cry or whatever, that is life. But letting them run free is SO disrespectful. When dining with children, choose the place wisely!
Another thing we've been doing since my son was 2, and old enough to get out of the high chair and into the booster seat is take him to different places with me on a "lunch date", a little off hours so there's not so many patrons there, and have a nice meal together. We chat, sit at the table like a big boy, talk about the food, and practice eating with a fork and holding the napkin in our laps. It's an outing, it's time together, it's educational, it builds his self esteem, and we do well with it, with practice. Sometimes we can make it the whole meal, other times we ask for a to go box and try again after a nap. Parenting is work sometimes, but no reason it can't benefit the child, help with bonding and talking, and if they're too young to be able to sit still in a restaurant while you talk with adults, then talk with adults at a playland, especially now that they offer healthier options at many places, or at your own home. Why confuse them with conflicting messages: you can be silly at a BBQ restaurant but not an Italian restaurant? That's a little too much to take in. Play area=play, table & chairs=sit down is much easier to understand.

I *HATE* cooking and am a single mom who works and goes to school, so restaurants are a regular occurrence in our household. Since my daughter was 9 months old, we've taken her out and expected her to eat properly and carry on a conversation with us at the table. Since she could talk, we've also expected her to order for herself, ask the wait staff for what she needs/wants herself, etc. I am proud to say that my daughter (at nearly 9) knows which fork to use, knows how to sit at the table, knows how to carry on a polite, dinner-time conversation, and knows how to sit until everyone at the table is done eating. When we go to other people's homes, I know that I can trust her to use her exemplary table manners, no matter what other children at the table are doing. I guess what I'm saying is that I would use going out to teach your child appropriate manners and table behavior. This includes *not* sitting under the table. Regardless of how clean or unclean the tables are.

the gum didn't answer that question for you? lol! i would never let my child roll around on the floor in a restaurant anyway. if it's a family oriented kids place it's most likely filthy (not to even mention the gum, you about made me puke with that one), if it's a nicer restaurant then i don't really see how a kid playing on the floor under a table would be appropriate. i have a very antsy, energetic three year old, and he sits at the table. period. he doesn't bounce on the booth and irritate people behind us, he doesn't run around the restaurant. he sits. he colors, or reads books, or eats free chips and salsa, and pretty much jabbers away. but he sits. and we have a nice family meal. i wouldn't take him out in the expectation that at some point he'd "disappear" and i could pretend he wasn't there and have an "adult" conversation. get a sitter! just my two cents.

No way! I have two preschoolers myself and I would never do this. The only way my kids play under the table is if it's a PICNIC table. Outside.
Also, I have waited tables at my fair share of restaurants. It is very annoying to waitstaff and other patrons to have to listen to someones kid playing under the table and deal with them poking at handbags or in general fiddling around under there.
I don't mean to be harsh, but bringing a preschooler to a restaurant is a sure way to NOT get adult conversation. I'd invite people over to my home or call them on the phone. Or even try somewhere like McDonalds where the boys can play.
Ew.

For one under the table is no place for a child, if they are in a restarant they should behave, it is up to the parents to see to it that they are on thier best behaivior. It is gross, not only bubble gum under the table, if you get my drift. Show children that they are to behave when going to a place where other people are. They reflect on you as a parent. So parents, if your child is playing under the table, it is up to you to see to it that they are seated in thier seat. If they can't behave leave them home. Or eat at home. parents should make adult time where there are no children.. Makes for a nice dinner for yourself as well as the other patrons.....Pesky children stay home.

Ummm, I would say no I would not let my children play under tables at a restaurant ever, but it has nothing to do with cleanliness or anything like that and everything to do with the fact that playing under tables is not socially acceptable and it is my job as a parent to teach my child what is and is not acceptable behavior. If you let them play under there at two, when does it stop? How do you explain the sudden change in rules when you decide they should no longer play under there (they get too big)?

NOT!!! I've worked in restaurants, and even after being freshly mopped, those floors under the table are not up to my standards of clean. Most restaurants don't move the tables to mop, did you know that? And they probably use one mop bucket for the whole place. If it is carpet- again they don't move the tables, just kinda go between the legs, or use those sweeper things with no suction. I won't even set my purse on the floor. There is often food under there, and if it is a nice place, you can probably safely say that it is from the same day, but no guarantee. And food only takes 2 hours at room temp to start breeding disgusting bacteria.

And it's not very polite. You might not be noticing them because they are out of sight under the table, but it is distracting to other diners. Even at a family friendly place where I take my kid, I don't want to see this. Then I have to explain to my kid why he doesn't get to misbehave and play on the floor. Children need to be taught manners if they are going to succeed as adults in this world.

Oh heavens no, absolutely not!!! Not only is it disgusting under there... gum, spit, rotten food, vomit... whatever, it is completely rude behavior. If a child can't sit at a table and have dinner appropriately then they should not be out at a restaurant. My child has NEVER played under any table let alone one out at a restaurant and the times I have seen children do it, I don't think too highly of the parent... I'm sorry it is a harsh thing to say, but it is just my opinion. Also it is really distracting for the rest of the people in the place. And when my son sees other kids doing that, I explain that it is rude and gross behavior and he will never be allowed to play under a restaurant table. We use manners at any table we are at and if he needs to play then we go play outside first before we go into a restaurant.

If you wanted adult conversation without having to mind your child, a restaurant is not the place to have it, sorry. It's totally inappropriate for your child to be under the table. Would you and your friend go under the table to avoid your child while he was eating? No. Your child should be sitting up at the table, bring crayons and small tablet for him to color or to entertain himself with. But you brought you son with you to the restaurant so you wanted him to be part of the socialization with you and your friends, give him the attention and include him. Otherwise, get a sitter, leave him at home and have some 'adult time' with your friends and family without the dangers that come with playing on a very dirty floor and having access to a variety of hazards hidden in ABC gum.

Gosh, I know it is so hard to get that alone time. But I opt for not letting my kids under the table.

I worked in a restaurant for many years. I NEVER let me kids play under there. They honestly would be better off playing with a public toilet! I know what you mean about the grown up time, its very tempting to let them go down under, BUT its not worth the nasty stuff they can get. Gum is the least of the worries. Half chewed sausage from the morning rush is a very temping appetizer for a little one! I would suggest getting a little bag together (kid size back back even) and filling it with restaurant toys. We love to eat in restaurants (a couple times a week) and our kids (now 5 and 2 1/2) are constantly getting compliments on how well behaved they are. My husband and I get stressed and worried about them acting up, but the truth is in the compliments. They are great. The "restaurant" toys are a huge help. :)

Boy do I understand your need for adult only conversation, but maybe a restaurant with a 3 yo is not the best place. Personally, I did not allow my son to play under the table. I had an expectation that he sit at the table as he did at home and behave himself. I also tried to engage him in the conversation. My son is known by many adults as a great conversationalist now. Even now, I find it really quite distracting to see parents have conversations completely oblivious to their children under the table. If your 3 yo can play quitely under the table why not in the seat next to you? I also can't stand to see all the kids at the table playing their video games and the adults talking and ignoring them. If you can't tell, I'm very particular...
The gum and the filth on the floor are just more negatives to me. I'm going to be interested to see how other moms answer this. I might just be a picky, ol' curmudgeon.
S.

The answer is NO, NO, NO! Sorry, but I have three little ones and I too would love to have a "grown-up" meal once in a while. And I do, by hiring a babysitter. Not just because of the gross stuff they may or may not put in their mouths, but just plain manners. When hubby and I want to go out and relax, we do it sans kids. We also take little people out for dinner sometimes because we feel they need to be out and learn how to behave in a restaurant. We're sure to find a place that offers quick service without a wait if possible. We also try to have their meals brought as quickly as possible so we can assist them while our meals are being prepared and then they can color/play/read while we enjoy our meals. Good luck!

I think you've answered your own question...would you let your child play under the table again after the gum incident?

I worked in the restaurant industry for many years, mostly in very high-end restaurants, and you wouldn't believe the stuff we found under tables and stuffed into and under booths. The scariest one was a used syringe.

I load a few kid's shows onto my iPod and have it ready if we need it at restaurants. Coloring books, maze books, etc, are also good.

omg, are you serious? #1, that is just beyond disgusting. #2, how is your child ever going to learn to behave and act right at the table if they're not gently taught from a young age? i have 3 kids, ages 11 months, 4 years, and 7 years, and none have ever been allowed to play under the table, stand on the chairs or booth seats, or run about the restaurant. my husband and i are perfectly capable of getting in plenty of adult conversation while our three children sit at the table with us doing age appropriate activities(coloring the kid menu, the little one munching on cheerios, talking at an appropriate noise level amongst themselves, etc.).

My opinion is.... Not only is the chewing gum and floor yucky and unsafe. I feel it is best to teach your child to sit at the table and give him games or colors to play with. there are many mini games for kids that are great for restaurants. I always have/had things that were special and only for restaurants or doctor offices. Always remember it is difficult for a 3 yr old to sit long, so you should eat quickly, or get up and take turns walking him around. Good Luck.

Other than allowing my DD to extricate herself from the back of the booth by going under the table, she is never allowed to go under the table. It's just plain gross under there. Plus, I agree with several other posts about manners.

Children will surprise you if you let them. If you expect them to sit at the table and behave, they will grow into children who sit at the table and not wander around the restaurant. While she usually sits next to me, she sometimes "plays" with the older children at the table. We bring coloring books and writing sheets so she has something to do.

I've taken my daughter into all kinds of restaurants. She is expected to sit and behave. She is not perfect, what 4 year old is. But, she knows what is expected of her and for the most part her behavior is good.

No, way! Absolutely way too gross!!!

Do you let your child play under the table at home when they are suppose to be sitting eating dinner? Kids are never too young to start learning manners. We have a 4 and 2 year old and they are quite capable of sitting at the table in a restaurant and eating their dinner - it helps that there is usually something for them to color or play with once they are done eating and they can wait for Mom to be done too (I'm the slowest eater). But, this helps them learn patience and that the world doesn't always revolve around them, that we dictate their schedule, not they dictating ours.

My kids still eat with the hands a lot, especially the typical types of food we order for them when we go out - usually kid menus have lots of finger items - so I can't IMAGINE letting them touch the gross restaurant floor and then getting back up to eat - it just makes my stomach turn to think about.

Sorry if this is too harsh, but you asked and this was my immediate response.

Never, after working in a restaurant I will never allow my child to go under the table. If we lose a toy either I or daddy gets it.

I have a different take. I might be more concerned for a safety reason: if something hot should spill from the table to under the table.....depending on the girth of the table....

Not only is it unsanitary and exposing your child to a ton of icky things, it is not proper etiquette. If you are in a restaurant where there are other people who are trying to enjoy their experience, your children should not be crawling around on the floor, under tables, or running around the restaurant. If you want grown up conversation, you should have appropriate activities available for your child to keep him occupied, have a nanny/babysitter with you who can take him out of the restaurant, or leave your child with a babysitter while you go out with your adult friend.

No! No playing under the table or anywhere else in a restaurant, UNLESS there is a dedicated play area.
I agree that it teaches bad manners, sure it's cute and convenient now, no so in 5 years, when you can't go anywhere because your child won't behave AND we don't allow it at home, so why would it be ok somewhere else.

We do bring a quiet toy or book when we go out and sometimes we sing songs and play finger games at the table when waiting for our food - however we frequent family friendly restaurants, where a little "itsy bitsy spider" has never bothered anyone.

Ewww!!! No, no, no!!! Food that people have dropped, or stepped on is down there. Not to mention gook from peoples shoes....

You've had a ton of responses which I flicked through, and felt I had to respond cos I'm going to say something different. Yes, I think that restaurant floors are pretty filthy, especially under tables and booths which are hard to reach so probably don't ever get cleaned properly. Yes, children should learn good table manners and as parents we have to be respectful of other diners and customers. BUT, come on, lets be realistic. Yes, bringing activities to restaurants can help for a few minutes or more but some of the responses made me wonder if these people had actually been out to eat with their kids. "Play quietly with their toys" What!! In the same seat for an hour and a half!! My 2 and 4 year old do not take as long as me to eat their dinner or anywhere near how long we would spend at a restaurant table. Going out to eat is not generally very relaxing so we don't do it very often at the moment. But at home, when I have decided they have eaten enough, and when they have asked to leave the table, they are allowed to. This is usually long before me and my husband are done eating and talking. We don't really get to talk to each other until they have got down to play. As they grow older, I will expect them to stay till everyone has finished but that is, in my opinion, not realistic, and incomprehensible to them, and therefore not fair game at this age of exploration and vivid imagination. At this time, I expect them to remain at the table, to engage in conversation and eating to an amount of time appropriate for their age. Just like time outs are decided per age. I enforce good table etiquette at home and hope that some of it will stick in a novel environment, such as a restaurant. So I would suggest this. Train your child well at home. Be very consistent with meal rules and etiquette, such as how long to reamain at the table, eating how much, asking to leave etc in a familiar environment ie her home. Children do really thrive on structure - it makes them feel safe - and even if she reacts negatively, they do appreciate consistency and will then respond well to it in a different environment. But you can't expect them to follow a rule that they are not familiar with, especially in a new environment. Secondly, playing under the table, must be her "thing". Seems she likes playhouses, tents, caves etc. I say this cos my kids don't go for under the table. They want to play with the ice in the water, run around etc. So if that's her thing, then check under the table 1st! If my kids were happy to play under the table while I finished my meal I would love it. Atleast they would be contained! So bring some disinfectant wipes and check for gum. I'm serious! The people on the next table may think you're wierd when you wipe the floor with a wipe, but honestly, they'll probably just think you're daughter spilled something and that you're really nice for cleaning it up yourself. I'm constantly mopping up stuff if we go out to eat - I don't think its fair to leave all our mess for the server. Thirdly, go to family friendly restaurants. There are several restaurants in Portland with play areas. Off the top of my head, there's Old Wives Tales on East Burnside, there's one on SE Powell and 30th? Ask Mamasource for other suggestions. There you will find other parents with your dilemma and other kids wanting playmates while the grownups do their boring eating talking thing

No way would I ever let my kids play under the table. Kids need to learn how to sit and be good when out to eat. Bring them some quiet toys or something to color. If you want an "adult dinner" find a sitter. A restaurant is not a place to play!

Oh hell no. Never, ever, gross.

I don't want to come off rude, but OMG, seriously?!?!? That is just beyond gross. Not only from the germ factor of what might be sticking to the underside of the table, but the floor is NEVER clean beneath the table. I always find crumbs, dropped food, dirty silverware, and heaven knows what else.

Try bringing along paper and crayons or a card game or depending on the age maybe a handheld game (my 3 yr old brings her Leapster with so she can be just like big sister who brings her Nintendo DS). Bring something...ANYTHING...with to help entertain them during dinner out.

PS - My kids would LOVE to play under the table, crawl around a dressing room floor, play in between the clothes racks at a store...but that doesn't mean they are allowed. Set the example. Manners have to start somewhere.

I have worked in several restaurants over the years...and I have never known them to clean under the tables more than once or twice a year...TOPS.

Eww...is all I can say. There is no way that I would ever let a child go under the table...and I am way not a germ-freak.

I would instead think about ways to keep the kids busy ABOVE the table, sitting in their chairs. Colors/ coloring books, easy puzzles, small crafts...and my fave, the iPod. I have TONS of toddler apps loaded and 90% of them are educational...flashcards, matching games, animals, etc. She is happy as a clam and learning...we are having normal adult conversation...everyone wins!

It is just way too gross! We let them play with the creamers and the jelly and the crayons and the menus and anything else they want to AT the table NOT under it...yucky!

I will never forget this one time myself (age 12) went out to eat with my cousin and her daughter, who was 4 yrs old at the time, peaked her head under the table and in the loudest voice possible said "WOW! There sure is a lot of gum under here"...everyone heard it...including the people who worked there. It was so embarrassing! But very relevant...there will always be gum and who knows what else (boogers?) stuck up under every table, at every restaurant!

No way all the food crumbs spills germs bubble gum that your son was chewing on plus it doesn't teach good table manners.My kids try it then we don't get to go out to eat for a while they lost that privelage because that is unacceptable behavior.

I am a stickler for manners and a phobic of germs (I work in a lab, so I get to see all of the 'invisible' germs that people bring home, get sick from, and then bring to me at the hospital, so I have to vote for "it's not polite to play under the table. Sit up (with some toys brought from home maybe?) and do not touch the dirty floor", because I have a hunch that you probably do not make them go wash their hands when the food gets to the table.

Um yuck. No, my kids do not play under the table.

I am a single mother of three year old twins with no family close by. So when we go out to eat, it is always two against one. While I understand how easy it would be to let your child just play under the table so you can have some peace, I also understand the importance of not letting that happen. There are tons of germs and gross things under the table that could get your child sick. What if the gum your child just put in their mouth came from someone with HIV/AIDS? I would hope that someone with a communicable disease wouldn't just stick their gum under the table, but there are no guarantees. And besides being gross, it is bad manners to let your children play at an eating establishment. When was the last time you saw an adult under the table at Olive Garden, or even Burger King?

Here's a minority opinion based on my experience with a foster child and my grandchildren. Yes, let them play under the table with certain boundaries. The most obvious one being don't touch the gum or the table bottom.

My foster daughter was 7 when we shared dinner with her caseworker at a restaurant. When she finished eating my foster daughter lay down on the floor with her head on my feet and went to sleep. I was embarrassed and started to tell her to get back in her chair. The caseworker stopped me and said it's OK. After thinking about it I agreed. Yes, the floor is dirty but it's no dirtier than other places that a 6 yo is exsposed to such as the playground, they gym floor, even the grass on the playground. And my embarrassment was caused by fear that other patrons would consider this inappropriate. What does it really matter what others think. What I accept as appropriate is my responsibility.

When my granddaughter was 3 she was able to control much of her behavior. When she scooted to the floor she either sat in one place with her Littlest Pet Shop toys and played or popped up at another seating place. She liked the privacy.

Her mother usually did not allow this and my granddaughter accepted her mother's rules too tho not without testing them. About half the time, when my daughter did want adult conversation she did allow it. While sitting at the restaurant table, my daughter did teach good table manners. My daughter required/requires that her children sit at the table and use reasonably good table manners at home. No running around, playing during meal time.

At 9 my granddaughter sits at the table, uses good table manners for the most part. She never became ill from sitting under the table. She only touched gum once and that was to ask what it was. I think we stopped letting her get under the table around age 5 or 6 when she started school.
(the reason my foster daughter could at 6 is because even tho her chronological age was 6 her emotional age was closer to 3)

We never allowed my grandson to play under the table because he could not manage himself. Once under the table he would crawl out and begin running around the restaurant. This is not acceptable because it is unsafe (he can trip the waiters or customers) and he is infringing on the rights of other customers to have a peaceful meal. My grandson did find a piece of gum while seated in a high chair and did pop it in his mouth.

Which goes to show that you can't protect your child from gum or many other yucky things on the ground or stuck under a table. Whether or not you allow your toddler under the table depends on what you consider appropriate. Just as with other parenting decisions your own judgment is the one that you should use in making decisions. Good to get input but in the end it's your decisions. As I've aged I've become increasingly more aware that I can't please everyone. It is my responsibility to see that the child with me doesn't impinge on other's rights. So I take a screaming child outside and I don't let them run down the aisles in a restaurant or theatre. But what they do quietly at my table only requires my approval.

Even though kids love it, I'd say no. My step son was 3 when I met him, and he use to do it all the time, or feet on the wall as he laid on the booth. I had to put a stop to it, you've had lots of responses why its not a good idea, so i think you've got that part covered. So, what we would do, is the following:

1. Bring crayons, coloring books, or play tick tack toe. I know your son is a but small so this may be hard.

2. He always has a back pack ready to do with activites, and I am constantly going to the dollar store, or Target to get new activities for him to use. I switch them out, so they always seem new to him. This keeps him busy, and when we are leaving he grabs the small back pack and he can carry it.

3. Play-doe is great, small amounts that is. He would keep so busy with it.

4. Now that he is older we bring his DS but he isn't allowed to play it for long periods of time.

5. We do a lot of talking with him, he holds the converstation of asking how everyone's day went. He thinks its great.

6. Small puzzles are great, or Etch A Sketch its good.

Anything to keep them busy once they are done eating, but during meal time he was always invloved in the conversation. He is 7 now, and he is a delight at the table. We can take him anywhere and he entertains himself, and people are amazed. I always tell him, "Anthony, you are SOOO lucky you met me, because your such a good kid now :)" he thinks its funny. Good luck mommy!

i have worked in the restaurant industry for over 11 yrs, started when i was 14 and i am now 26. i would not personally let me children play under the table at CERTAIN restaurants.there have been times where i have let my oldest boy play under the table because i needed to talk to my husband and a sitter was NOT a possibility due to health concerns and also just not trusting high school students and no family in the area. closest is over 2hrs one way.my children do have manners and they know when to use them. the oldest knows that if we are out some where and he does not use his manners or his indoor voice we will visit the nearest bathroom or go to the car. and he will be punished there as i see fit. so if it looks clean and you know your child will still use manners even if under the table then YES by all means go for it!!!!! :-)

I'm "that" mom! I let my 2 1/2 year old crawl under the table. Now, he does not "play" under the table... but he will switch from one side of the booth to the other side. I am a single mom and don't have the opportunity to "take us out". And when I do, I am deperate to have a "peaceful" time. At 2 1/2, my son is very active! Sometimes he just wants to play with his car on the table. Sometimes he's ok with rearranging sugar packets in his imaginative designs. but sometimes he wants to "trade places" and will occassionally crawl under the table to the other bench. I am a restaurant manager and I know that the floors are swept, vaccummed, mopped, etc. but not thoroughly cleaned! so, yes, it's dirty under there. but... "dirt don't hurt". Chewing somebody else's gum that has been stuck up under the table is a bit much though! first things first... let your child know that you can't pick things up off of anywhere and put them in your mouth. secondly, you know those are people who know better who are sticking their gum under the table. So, if you like putting your nasty chewed up gum under a public table STOP~. somebody eventually has to scrape it off first of all. secondly, if you don't do that in your own home, why do it else where?!!!! makes no sense. I think that you need to be the judge of it. all parents have different opinions on what is "appropriate behavior". believe me, i get "the look" sometimes when I'm out with my two year throwing a temper tantrum. Let them raise their children and you worry about raising your own!

I don't let my daughter play under the table when out to dinner but she has gone down under there to retrieve a toy or get out instead of having to climb over someone. Instead, I try to ensure that I have enough toys and food to keep her busy until the food gets there.

That often means a trip or two to the bathroom or outside to play if it's a long wait. I also have crayons/coloring books, painting books/paint brush (that you just need water), snacks to include something sweet incase we 'really' need them. I also have brought books (I found that sticker books and I SPY ones work really well!!). I ask for bread right away and order her food and ask that they bring it as soon as it is ready. I've even resorted to a portable DVD when I know the meal will be lengthy.

Right now my 2.5 year old will get up (bathroom or just walk around with her) 1-2 times during a regular dinner - no waiting time - food within 20 minutes.

I wouldn't let my child play under a restaurant table. I used to work as a waitress and there are BILLIONS of germs under a table, on the floor, parts of the seats...you name it. My belief is also, if you are at a restaurant, you are there to eat...not play. Would you let your child run rampant at home while trying to eat a family meal at the table? If I wouldn't at home, I wouldn't at a restaurant.

Nope! We expected and still do our children to sit at the table and color quietly or participate in conversation (trying that with teens is a bit difficult). We did not allow our kids to crawl under the table, scream, run around the restaurant or behave in a way that would disrupt our dinner or the other guests dinner.

Definitely not... The germ factor - yes, a problem - but it's not the biggest reason for me to not let my daughter play under the table. I know, I miss adult conversation with my hubby during eating out, too. However, we decided to become parents - small price to pay. We have never and don't plan on ever letting our daughter play under the table at a restaurant. Truthfully, it's quite poor manners. Yes, they're children, but there's no reason that you can't or shouldn't teach them good manners early. In fact, it's much easier if you teach them early. My two-year old points and says, "Uh oh, Mommy" at kids running around the restaurant and crawling under tables because she's always been told that it's a "no, no" and "yucky". (Yes, the pointing needs to stop - also poor manners - haha) Generally speaking, they are capable of understanding what's acceptable and what isn't, even when they're little.
Personally, I think you should break the habit now - make it easier on yourself so that you don't have to fight him on it later! He needs to learn proper manners. Best wishes! :)

Sorry L., but I think it is nasty under there. I wouldn't allow it, but I would bring distractions to the restaurant. Books, crayons, even a hand held video game.

No way!!!! Number 1, it's rude and teaching your child bad table manners in public. 2, it's just plain gross!

My son is NEVER allowed to play under the table. We need to teach our children manners while out in public, and since as an adult I would never go under the table to play, I wouldn't think to let my son do it either. If you want some grown-up conversation time, bring along crayons, toys, a quiet video game, or anything else that would keep him entertained for a period of time. Not only is it in bad taste to allow your child to play under the table, but it is also filthy! Sorry to seem harsh, but the reality is that it really isn't appropriate.

If you want to make sure its clean under there and let your kid play its your decision. However everytime you go out to eat hes going to expect to be allowed to do this. The day you tell him no. He's too big to be playing under there. Expect a full blown tantrum.

That is not for me just for the germ factor and you dont know how disgusting the floor might be.

I like to use play dough. I get the ziplock bag type play dough from the store and just keep it in my purse for restraunts. I also keep crayons and a small coloring book in the car for restraunts the don't have them.

Hi
I would NEVER EVER allow my child to do that, apart from being filthy dirty and disgusting underneath most tables... it's really not good manners..
I had a friend who used to allow her child to do that (even in upscale restaurants) and I truly think it's in poor taste. Children need to learn that there is a time and place for play. We also know that IF we choose to take our son with us to a restaurant there is about a 30 to 40 min window in which he will sit still and eat.. Thereafter, he grows tired of sitting around listening to adults talk. Therefore, until he is bigger and can sit still longer , we really don't set ourselves up or him for that matter to have to sit in a restaurant for too long a period of time.

I don't think it is very polite for children to play on the floor. I think it sets a bad precedent for them, as well, because it is not teaching them to respect the dinner table like we eventually want them to. For these reasons, more than the gum (but that is gross!!), i would work on getting him to sit quietly at the table. (I am not trying to criticize you - we all do what works for our family, and i'm sure you are doing your best to get your son to sit quietly and politely. This is just my thought process.)

When my two year old has a serious problem sitting still, we 'take a walk' (to the bathroom, outside if necessary). But, these days, almost all the time, she is occupied by some crayons and paper, or conversational games. It wasn't always easy to get here - we've left a couple of restaurants early because she couldn't handle it - but the pay off is huge.

You could use the same techniques with your son - he can sit under the table if he is coloring quietly, but if he starts to get rambunctious it is time to stop. That might keep his hands away from the tempting garbage down there.

I'm not saying it's not totally gross to chew gum you found stuck under a table, but I just want to note (in response to another post) you can't contract HIV/AIDS from doing so, or even from kissing someone who is infected. It is not transmitted through saliva.

We bring a bag with special toys to restaurants so that the kids can play quietly on the table. We have McDonald's toys, a small bag of Legos, and some drawing boards in there. I have looked on the floor at restaurants and seen how dirty it was, so I tend not to let my kids play under there. It is not easy having a conversation with adults at times, but if the kids are occupied, they can be quiet enough so that you can still hear what the adults are saying.

I feel that it is teaching bad manners when you let your child play under the table at a restaurant. It is also very unsanitary. I used to work at a couple restaurants and I know just how dirty those floors and under the table can be. *shudders*

Absolutely not. I think kids should learn how to display themselves in public settings and behave accordingly. They can be taught to sit on the chair, not underneath the table.

I would never allow my son to play underneath the table at a restaraunt for a couple of reasons. Number one, the germs alone are disgusting. There is no telling what can be under there. Number two, it's just inappropriate. Not because we are not letting kids be kids as one mom stated, but because there is a certain time and place for everything and children do need to learn manners. When away from the home, it represents us as parents and what we are teaching them. If a few minutes of adult conversation is what you want, bring something along that your child finds entertaining such as coloring books, video games, a book, little toys, etc. Whatever it is that is age appropriate.

Firstly, what sort of place are you eating where patrons discard gum under the table? Secondly, get your kid to sit and eat properly! Thirdly, colouring at table is fine. Fourthly, don't have a second!

LOL! The mystery that revolves around why kids even want to play down there....
My daughter has done it, especially because she likes to go from side to side to see mom or dad, but I really don't allow it. It is pretty nasty. I tell her it is filled with bugs and germs. It usually stops it.
I try and bring along things for her to do and keep her busy.

I wouldn't bc that is where everyone puts their feet and such. I know that the restaurant should mop regularly but I just don't trust it. I never let my son play under the table, plus I want him to learn how to sit through a meal. I do let him color etc while at the table, before he eats and after IF he has eaten his meal. So I vote no, I don't think it is sanitary.

Ewww, no...many, many bad things under restaurant tables! Besides, it's never too early to start teaching good table manners. It will pay off for them, for you - and other diners will be oh-so-grateful!

Sacrificing grown-up conversation gets hard sometimes though, so I understand you feeling that way! :)

i personally wouldn't care. but i think since were in public it is very disrespectful, to the other people. i usally don't care what other people think buti think children need to learn respect.

why not? teaching the kid not to eat used bubblegum and trash is a separate issue. i think we should let kids be kids. far too many parents are interested in turning kids into miniature adults in the name of "manners"...

I allow my son to play on the floor/under the table. Yes, the floor is dirty and it is gross, but I watch out for what he is touching/picking up and what he is doing. My expectations for appropriate behavior evolves as my children grow and mature. I don't think toddlers/pre-schoolers, in general, have the ability to sit through an entire restaurant meal. Maybe I am wrong. Unless your children are screaming or running wild and disrupting other diners what you allow them to do is your business.

My goodness you have got a lot of responses! I always felt that if we went to a restaurant, my husband and I expected the children to sit with us and eat dinner. We did not let them run around the restaurant or play under a table. If the restaurant provided crayons, they would color or we'd play 20 questions when they were older. After dinner if they were restless than one of us took them outside until the bill was payed or coffee drunk. We felt that was the behavior for restaurants and it made it enjoyable that way. If one child threw a tantrum than one of us got up and went outside with the child. It was a special treat that came with a certain behavior. I personally want the same when I go out for a treat too.

Way gross... sorry! I couldn't even read the entire question! :)

We used to let our kids play under the table at restaurants. My husband and I are not paranoid about dirt and germs and our kids never get sick.

I think children need to learn table manners both at home and in public. do you let your child play under the table at home during dinner? If not, then they shouldn't be playing in the restaurant. I think it's a good time to teach your children not to interrupt when grown ups are talking. the key to a successful experience is bringing activities that will keep them busy. Cars, coloring/sticker books etc. Even to bring something new that they only can use when out to eat is a good incentive. Also finding a restaurant that isn't too slow in their service is huge. You can also always start out small. McDonald's for instance and move up from there. I have a two year old and she knows what is expected of her when we are out to eat. she isn't perfect but it takes practice. Good luck to you.

Gross is my answer. Who knows how often they clean those floors, and really, this is the perfect opportunity to teach some table manners. Your child is old enough to be told and understand they need to stay above the table. I recommend some "restaurant only" toys and books that are special for only when you go out to eat. We did that for my son starting at a very young age. He's almost 5 and for the most part, is really good about staying where he should be when we go out.

I understand how gross it is but sometimes you just have to let them play under a table if thats what it takes to keep from interupting everyone else and to get through the dinner. My three year old usually goes back and forth from side to side because he wants to sit with both mom and dad and he will hang out unde the table if he is bored with the games, crayons whatever else we have to entertain him. We dont take the kids to upscale restraunts, Dennys or Red Robin is the only places we will usually take them. Im sure we all played under a table or two when we were kids and we turned out fine, people just need to calm down and stop freaking out about germs or other peoples' parenting skills.

Nope, we don't allow it. It's disgusting under those tables! Plus, it's bad manners.

No they don't need to play under tables