Do You Eat in a Restaurant W Your Toddler?

I have taken my daughter out to eat with me since she was a baby. We have had some rough meals, and got up and left once because of her behavior. For the most part, she is good now. One thing that helped me was bringing her own travel seat. It has a detachable tray (with a cover) and straps to attach it to any chair. That helped keep her contained. Like others have said, books and toys that are different helped too. I would read to her while we were waiting or do activities with her. Good luck! I hope you will find something that works for you!

Some people feed their kids a healthy dinner at home then order them dessert or a fruit smoothie or milk shake when they get their dinner, this keeps them happy and occupied for a little while.

Why no high chair? If it was a kid friendly place it should have a high chair. Gt a high chair, drop her butt into it and call it good. If she wails, she will get over it. Don't give in and take her out or she will know how to snowball you over and get her way. :)

Teaching them to mind helps. If they are at a distracting awkward stage it would seem to me the last thing I would want to do is take them to a public venue to eat. I feel embarassed for the parents that cant control their toddlers and wonder why they brought them and why they don't hurry up and leave. The worst thing mine did was crumble crackers and make a mess on the floor before we left... but I had no problems keeping them in a highchair or booster.
Letting kids run free down the aisle of a restaurant is not good and I wish parents would get the hint.

My daughter works at an IHOP and takes her son out to eat at least once a week, at family restaurants. I took my Mom out for Friday night fish last fall and my daughter and grandson (he was around 2 1/2) met us there. She showed him the kids menu and he chose his meal and when the waitress came over she encouraged him to 'tell the lady what you want'. He ordered his meal and beverage. He sits and eats no fussing ect.
Like anything else learning how to go to a restaurant is a skill that takes practice. At this point I would have her sit in a high chair and not allow any behaviors you wouldn't alllow at home. Talk to her before you go into a restaurant, 'we are going to eat now, I expect you to behave'. 'Remember we sit to eat and we don't play with ....' If you start to take her out to eat once a week or every two weeks she'll get it.

We have always taken our kids out to restaurants (of the family variety and the upscale variety).

Most of the time behave. And I do not mean behave well for children. I mean they display more manners and patience than most adult patrons do. BUT...! We made a commitment to get up and leave ASAP if they misbehave and we have done that. One of us gets the kids out (and they at this point look very forlorn and sorry and embarrassed) and one waits for the check and gets the food boxed up. When we get home the kids are in time out (or in bed for the night if it is evening). We have done this only TWICE in the past 10 years. Works wonders. We have had winks and "way-to-gos" from other people at the restaurant.

You can train your child not to do any of these things with discipline at home. Give consequences after warnings for each little thing before it escalates. Tapping? NOPE. Nip it so it never develops in to banging. Squirming to get up in high chair? NOPE. Never gonna try to climb out. Yelling? Throwing food? Nope nope nope. When our kids are babies old enough to sit in a high chair, none of this is allowed without firm consequences, and therefore it was never an issue as toddlers or in restaurants. I can sit with 3 kids (2 still toddlers) in adult cafes by myself and have a nice lunch. NO toys, no prep, even if one is tired, they know crying is not allowed at the table. Everyone was restaurant ready by about 1, except my 3rd screamer, who was disciplined until age 14 months before she got it.

Mean? nope. They're sitting there smiling and eating, and then they can go nuts as soon as we leave-usually to the park as a reward for good behavior in the restaurant. Did it take lots of work at home and a few trips to the restroom for consequences in public? yup. But not a big price to pay to put something behind us forever. The fun times in restaurants far outweigh the lessons in the end. They get lots of compliments from other diners and get greeted by their favorite waiters, and it builds pride. All kids will do these things if you let them, or learn not to if you don't. I'm with Susan, my brother and I were NEVER allowed to act out at restaurants, and knowing we would be spanked, prevented it. I don't think it even ever happened, and we ONLY went to adult restaurants.

Discipline at the table is great, because it's something for them to learn. They can squirm and yell and hit and climb and throw when they're NOT at the table, so you're not depriving them of their tactile learning progressions, they just can't do those things at the table. And yes, they are that smart. This training saved our butts when we had to spend a couple of months in Paris for my husband's work. They don't even HAVE high chairs in Paris, I swear. Every meal was at tiny crowded cafes with unstable tiny chairs and saucer sized tables, and all the toddlers were sitting nicely in chairs or on laps. Including ours. Phew.

Tighten up at home, so it's not a lost cause in public. The other option is to not eat out, but my kids love eating out, so the discipline was worth it.

We have taken our daughter to restaurants since she was born. A big part of making the evening enjoyable for everyone is having the right gear-cup tethers to keep the cup from hitting the floor, Cheerios and toys for before the food arrives, stick-on placemats so plates don't become toys, Floppy Seats for the highchairs to provide a clean place to sit or a Sit-Seat for when highchairs aren't available. We eat out with my husband's family weekly and my niece (3.5) and nephew (just turned 2) are a nightmare because their parents have never taught them table manners or how to behave in public. They both stand on chairs, loudly refuse to eat and run around before, during and after the meal. He throws food, silverware and his parents have taught him to play with the sugar caddies, salt and peppers, etc. Meanwhile, my daughter (23 months) sits in her highchair, uses her silverware, eats nicely and gets complimented everywhere we go, including last week when my mom and I took her to an upscale French restaurant where highchairs and kids menus were non-existent. We had a wonderful, non-stressful meal because we came prepared and we have taken the time to teach good behavior and table manners. It's never too early or late to start!

My ex's family owned a restaurant, so my kids have been going to that and other restaurants since birth. They know if they misbehave we will take a trip to the bathroom and they will get a swat. All I have to do is ask them if they want me to take them to the bathroom (different from do you need to go) and they straighten right up :) It all starts at home, you must have the same table manner rules at ALL dining tables in order for them to understand-if standing up is allowed at home, why should out be any different? We have a three strikes rule for dinner at home (yours may still be a little young for this, not sure) where there are three 'rules' that MUST be followed 1. sit properly 2. chew properly (closed mouth, no talking) 3. use utensils properly; if any rule is broken the offender gets a strike, 3 strikes in one meal and they are finished whether they want to be or not. This is a new rule for us, because I got SO tired of hearing 'I forgot' about bad manners...we started this about 6 months ago, and table manners have never been better-only twice has anyone gotten to 3 strikes! Even though I am the only one who gives out strikes, all of the kids have their eyes peeled for bad manners now, and they often correct one another before I even see what's going on, lol!

After raising four kids, and as a parent who can now go out for dinner without having to take crayons, toys, etc., it is my opinion that if your child disturbs any of the other diners, then it is probably too soon to be taking her to dinner.

I know this is not going to be a very well-liked answer but I was always concerned about the other diners. It is quite possible that THEY hired a babysitter so that THEY could go out for dinner and not have to listen to children. Most people don't have a budget where they can go out to eat often and when they do, they would like to have a nice, calm dinner with no distractions. I understand that you took your child to a "family friendly" restaurant, but those restaurants are also there for those without children. My husband and I now go to restaurants that are more for adults for this very reason.

So that YOU can enjoy your dinner out, next time, hire a babysitter and enjoy your time alone with your husband! You deserve it J.!

I guess I am just different than about 99% of the other moms on here because if my child behaved like that out in public he would be punished. My oldest will be 2 in less than a week and we have never had a problem with him out in a restaurant. We have been taking him with us since he was a few months old. As soon as he was old enough to sit in the provided high chairs he has been sitting in them and eating. Of course he gets a little restless, but he sits, eats, looks around and talks. When my brother and I were little, if we had acted up out in public we would have been taken outside to the car and got a spanking. It only took one time of this for us to know to behave out in public. Discipline is key in raising kids, it is not mean, it helps them for their futures. Just stop LETTING HER act like that, discipline her and make sure she know she is not the boss and things will be better.

WOW
reading some of these posts is just disturbing...how does a 2 or 3 year old refuse to sit in a highchair???? there is no such thing as a small child refusing to do something the parent says...it is the parent not wanting to raise their child and lets the get away with whatever just to make them quiet for the moment and then later on down the road when they have a super unruly teenager all they do is blame the teachers or kids friends....what is this world coming to? what ever happened to discipline and rules????

J.:

Yes. We did. We NEVER stopped doing anything different with our kids.

This behavior is NOT tolerated at home and it certainly will NOT be tolerated at a restaurant. She was testing her boundaries with you and won.

She is picking up on your stress and apprehension and instead of you taking control and with a nice, firm voice - state "this is NOT how we behave" and at 17 months - she should have consequences for her actions she found out she could stress mommy out to the max - she thought it was a game and she won.

My daughter tried this...once. Her dad is a LOT more strict than me and he told her that he was NOT happy, didn't think it was funny and what the consequences for her actions would be. She thought it wouldn't happen in public. It did.

My boys tried "double teaming" one day while we were at the grocery store - 3 years and 1 year...I know it's different than a restaurant - however, the point is the same. I told them their behavior was UNACCEPTABLE. If it happened again - we would go home IMMEDIATELY. It happened again - I took the cart to the front of the store and told the manager I would be back later. In the car, the each got a swift spanking (not hard people just enough to get their attention) and I told them that WILL NEVER happen again. They started doing it once again and I asked them if I needed to take them to the car, they looked at each other and that was the end of it.

My youngest tried this at a restaurant once and ONLY ONCE. I bring my own toys for the kids - he was being a toddler I told him if his behavior didn't STOP the toys would be taken away and we would leave. No, our food hadn't been served yet. My husband was coming unglued. I told my husband to go outside for a breather because my son was feeding off of daddy getting mad...it happens...he tried it again - I promptly took the toys away and asked the waiter to pack our meals to go. My son started having a total melt down in the restaurant. I picked him up and went outside to the car - told my husband to pick up the food and the bill. My son was BEGGING for a second chance - I told him I already GAVE him it. When we got home, he was put in his room for 2 minutes (an eternity for him) and we ate. No, it wasn't nice - but the point was made.

My boys no that NO MEANS NO. When I tell them their behavior is NOT acceptable - I tell them short and sweet (like their attention spans) what I expect and the consequence if it doesn't happen.

Now that my boys are older (my daughter is long since gone!!) I bring Uno to play at the table as a family while we're waiting or their own coloring books and crayons....they are getting to the point where coloring books aren't "their age" so we negotiate what they can bring. IT MUST fit in my travel bag (it's a black DKNY nylon bag) and if they misbehave, it's gone. as are we!

It's OKAY to take control. It's OKAY to tell your daughter NO in a restaurant - you are NOT GOING TO HURT HER FEELINGS OR DAMAGE HER FOR LIFE. Giving her boundaries and consequences is acceptable. YOU have to be willing to follow through. If she asks you a question, you say no - she asks again and the answer is different - even at this age - she knows you will cave eventually. No means no.

Sometimes adults set expectations that are too high for their children- YES children should be expected to sit and eat their food. They should be expected to follow rules that will keep them safe (sitting in chairs, walking, not running, etc.) Toddlers, however, should NOT be expected to "sit still" for an hour (or more) at a restaurant table. Restaurants are overstimulating- there is usually loud talking, sometimes music, and a TON of things to look at/explore... Children are NOT "misbehaving" if they want to get up and walk around, stand up, etc... they are being toddlers. This is what toddlers do, and we should not expect them to act like adults.

You can totally make this work if you set reasonable expectations for your 17 month old-- as someone else mentioned, we let our daughter count the sugar packets, organize them, etc. This only lasts for a couple of minutes, but then we take bathroom breaks, wash hands, and explore the art/pictures/decorations around the restaurant. We also talk about how it is safe to walk in restaurants and watch for people carrying food on trays... When the food arrives, we walk back to the table and she is ready to eat. When she is done, usually the adults are not, so we go back to the bathroom, wash hands, etc... if other family members (who probably would love to spend a few minutes with her) are willing to share these little trips with you, you wont be doing it all yourself.

I'm not sure how you feel about this, but we took our daughter to a restaurant once where the manager had portable dvd players so children could have something to do while waiting for their food. It was genius! I know some people are totally against this, but this is such a special treat for our daughter to be able to pick a dvd and watch a little show while we are waiting for our food. If we are going to expect her to do something for us (sit in a busy, overstimulating restaurant while the adults want to sit and have conversations), we have no problems letting her have something special too. We bought a portable dvd player and sometimes we take it with us. She doesn't "expect" it every time we sit down, she is not spoiled by it, and she doesn't freak out if we don't have it. It is just something special.

I'm not saying our children are perfect, because we have had our fair share of frustrating restaurant experiences. But knowing that toddlers are going to be toddlers has helped us set reasonable expectations and have many pleasant dining experiences.

Good luck!

so when she wanted to stand in the booth, play with xyz, etc. what did you do? to me, that's the key in all this... of COURSE toddlers/small children are going to act up, that's how they learn! i have 3 kids myself, they are 8(boy), 5(boy), and just turned 2(girl). we eat out regularly, and always have. i have never allowed them to stand in a chair or on a booth, that behavior is completely not acceptable. and you'll hear a lot of "oh, she's too little to behave" - NO SHE'S NOT! you sit her back down, you continue to give her appropriate things to touch/play with, and encourage her to do so semi-quietly. we've had to take one or the other of the kids out to the car for a time-out/talking to on occasion(maybe once or twice?), so i'm not saying my kids always behave, but they ARE always expected to. if you allow it now, what's gonna be the magic age when she has to sit quietly? from what we see in restaurants, it'll be 15 or 16, restaurant behavior isn't really an age issue, but a learned behavior. having "rules" for home mealtimes is helpful as well, we all sit at the table in our chairs during meals, and the kids are allowed to get down when finished, no back and forth, up and down. she'll get there, just set up some expectations and don't back down from them - you'll be surprised at how fast she learns!

we have always taken my son out to eat since he was a baby. as he has grown he has known how to behave in a restaurant. we never had any problems with him. and now at the age of 8 he goes in ahead of us and gets a table and orders his own meal. i think eating out to eat needs to be started at an early age and that way the child knows what is expected of them!!

We have four kids... at one point they were ALL 5 and under. Now my oldest is 7 and youngest is 2. Of course you can't discipline a 17 month old, but we eat dinner at home, and they knew how to "behave" then, mostly by example, and seeing that we don't allow them to "misbehave". Yes, we bring little things to keep them occupied (maybe a couple of blocks or a teeny bit of cheerios), but other than that, that's about it.

A dvd player as the mom below me suggests?!? REALLY? NO!!! that would be very irritating to the other people around you, and honestly, my husband can entertain my kids better than any @!~%-&*$ TV! Why start a TV dependency, anyways? What's with the disconnect to kids nowadays?!?!?

Okay, with all that being said, we don't take our kids out much, we usually go to family friendly places, and we have never had a big problem other than an infant crying- which we immediately took outside until she calmed down.

I always found 15months to about 2 and a half to be the hardest stage because they are so curious about everything but have such a short attention span. We avoided eating out when possible at this stage, but I agree with Jen B about the stroller. They do work much better at this stage. They're more comfortable and cleaner as well. The only thing I can think to add is look for restaurants where the wait won't be long. Maybe go earlybird. You could get take-out in your hotel room, if that's possible. Also, I had a bag that I used when we went out that had toys that my children only saw when we were out. I found if given the choice between the same old toy and sugar packets, they'll go for the sugar packets every time ;)
Good luck! :)

Yes, but if they start acting up, I take them outside....fancy or fast food. People don't pay to hear/see other people's kids act up in a restaurant.

I suggest when taking kids out to eat, make sure they are hungry. IF they are old enough to understand give them the TALK before going out. Don't let your child run around in a restaurant....it dangerous for them and the wait staff and annoying for customers...no matter how cute we think our children are.

I think children should be able to go out to eat with the family without bringing a toy store along. Many places have crayons and place mats which is fun for kids. If you have a little one, I would call ahead to make SURE there will be high chairs or booster seats. If they don't, it's not a place for kids.

Blessings.....

I am a firm believer that if you don't expose your child to something how do you expect them to be good when you do want to go... We take our DD all the time (we usually go out to eat on the weekend) I have playdates sometimes and we go to eat afterwards. There are days that are harder, but mostly she does good. That's not to say you can stay at the restaurant for hours on end, she does have a toddlers attention span after all. I know I am lucky, but I also go even when it's not so fun for me, because its good for her. One thing that has saved us is ranch dressing (she loves dipping and its not bright red like ketchup) and coloring and stickers! I never leave home without a color book and stickers...she only gets to use the magic wonder pens at home so crayons are a treat! She can color forever. My friend has a daughter 2 weeks older than mine and they never took her anywhere and then they started going and she was soooo naughty, but they kept at it and now she is good...most days! lol. So, my advice is practice, practice, practice:)

My husband and I have taken both our girls with us MANY times (probably too many for the 'ol pocket book). I really think this helped them learn how to behave in a restaurant. We never allowed wild behavior and used phrases like, "we don't stand on the bench." "We use quiet voices when we talk to each other." I've read that this type of discipline is not so negative, but yet effective.

I also know that my second child's personality is completely different than my first and I might have a holy terror on my hands....so my advice is coming from experience with a toddler that is naturally well behaved.

But, I would start at McDonalds (or other very family friendly places where diners aren't there to get out and expect littles to be there) and practice the approved behavior. Maybe talk about what is expected at McD's and that if she isn't behaving, you will pack it up and leave.....natural consequence. Maybe go to a place that has a playland and use that as incentive or consequence.

Then, when you go out to a nicer place you can remind her of how she well she did at McD's. Maybe take a few books or quiet toys with you as well.

Good luck!

Updated

Both my kids have gone out to eat since they were babies... to both "kid-friendly & non-kid-friendly" places. Here are some things that have been helpful...
1. Seems silly, but even @ a young age, as young as yours, I was talking to my kids about where we were going, how they had to behave, what was in store. Not too much talking, just letting them know what I wanted. ie. "At the restaurant, you're going to sit nicely at the table and eat like a big girl!"
2. If we weren't seated right away, I strolled around as much of the restaurant as possible, maybe even did a bathroom break. That way, they could take everything in. As we walked, I pointed out pictures, people, food, etc. All while mentioning how good they were behaving.
3. We always went a little before the lunch crowd or dinner crowd. The bigger the crowd, the more stressed everyone seems.
4. If the wait for food was long & weather permitted, we went for a quick walk outside. A change of scenery does wonders for a child's behavior.
5. If they were really bad, or had a meltdown, we left. End of story. It sucks for you, but in the end, works for them. This happened only once with each kid.
6. I tried very hard not to stress out about such an outing, the more clam & confident you are, the better experience for your child.
Happy dining!!

We've been eating out with our daughter since she was a baby (now she's two). You just get in a routine.
Before you sit down ask for a kids menu. When daddy is putting her in the highchair (she has to sit in a highchair) I shove everything on the table against the wall Including silverwar (we usually get a booth). I have even put stuff on the seat next to me to hid it from her. I keep her entertained until the server comes. When the server comes I order something for my daughter to eat and have them bring it out right away (don't let them talk you into waiting until your food is ready). When she was younger it was just a side dish (apples, corn, french fries, etc). When our food comes we let her try stuff out plate (it keeps her interest up).
My biggest pet peeve about eating out is when the servers place extremely hot plates or huge cups of soda right in front of my daughter. Ugh that aggervates me.
It's worked for us. Good Luck!

Does she have a stroller? That might work better at the stage she is at. There is a little tray for food and you can lock the wheels so they don't have table access. I have always had to move the salt etc, but other than that both of mine do fine, but they are boys and need to eat!! My first wasn't a huge eater but is super social, so going out to restaurant was always really fun to him and still is. My little one is my eater and as long as I keep the food coming he is good to go! Now, I didn't give my first booth access until he was like 2 yrs old. He was on lock down all the way! My little one is 13 months and I plan to do the same thing, lock down for a long time, out and at home. Good luck!!

We go out to eat all the time. The more they are exposed to this environment the more they get used to it. My oldest was never bad at restaurants, my youngest is learning. Eventually they learn

.

Yes. We go out to kid-friendlier places but she's been to fondue places, Indian places, etc. We bring toys and snacks and her own cup/plate/silverware. I have a travel booster seat that I try to keep with us. It's inflatable and squishes down very small. I also acknowledge when, like yesterday, when keeping her in the booth isn't going to happen and we get our check, our boxes, and go. I couldn't blame her. She rode for 2 hours and then we went out to eat.

I also try not to sweat small stuff because they learn by getting to do stuff and so much of the time their behavior isn't even noticed by anybody but you. Start small, say a place with very quick service and no tablecloths and work up.

We have a portable dvd player we take with for my daughter, but we keep the volume off, so she just watches the video. We always ask for a back table, if possible, so there is no one behind us that might be disturbed by it. We occupy her with this while waiting for our food, once it arrives, dvd goes off and we ALL eat dinner together. It's not the best thing to do, but it works for us until she gets a little older. Good luck!

The more you take her out to eat, the better behaved she'll be. I agree with using the highchair and ordering her food first. Something I did with my kids when they went through the not sitting still age was to let them play with the sugar packets. It's not going to hurt anything. I would even open one on a plate & let them swirl the sugar. My kids thought that was the best thing. They would naturally lick it off their fingers, but they can't eat too much that way. Another idea is bringing a different/new toy that she hasn't seen with you & letting her only play with it at restaurants. Good luck.

Leslie's advice is spot on.

Some kids are more content to sit still, others not so much.

I have three daughters, the oldest was very easy-going and I took her out to eat all the time with never a problem. She would sit in a high chair and color and eat snacks I brought for her.

My second daughter was a different child from the day she was born. Going out to eat was a nightmare for me. Even eating at home was challenging. She hated to be confined and would have terrible meltdowns. We tried being firm, etc. Removing her to the car essentially got her what she wanted... out of the restaurant. We only ever went out to eat with grandparents out of town etc. and I usually ended up wandering around outside with her or sitting in the car letting her pretend to drive. At age 8 she was diagnosed with ADHD. She still wiggles so much in her chair at dinner the bolts have fallen out several times! I don't believe this child was purposefully "being bad" she knows the rules of restaurants etc. but due to her wiring she seeks out sensory stimulation and has a very difficult time sitting still.

My third daughter has been very similar, and we generally avoided eating out - we would get take out if possible and eat it at a park or in the hotel room! Although it seems to be getting easier since she turned two. She still likes to get up and down a lot but knows she has to stay with us at the table (she is allowed to get out of the high char and stand nearby or sit with one of us). She stays entertained more by her toys and occasionally eats some food! I am so excited that it is not so stressful for me anymore.

No real other advice for you except to keep doing what you are doing and have a plan with your family for taking turns in the car or whatever if you have to. Good luck, you have my complete commiseration!

Highchair - fries and catsup! He's 2 1/2 and as long as he's dipping - he's happy.

I didn't have a chance to read all of your responses, so I hope I am not repeating. You didn't mention this, but how is your daughter at mealtime at home? Is she well behaved then or are you allowing this behavior at home? If she is like this at home, you need to start being consistent and correcting her behavior, regardless of where she is. If she is well behaved at home, expect the same when you go out. Be prepared with consequences for her behavior. Follow through and keep things as consistent as possible. If she is in a highchair at home, she should be in a highchair when you go out. Do you feed her before you eat or at the same time? Maybe get her something to eat right away. If you need to, ask for some crackers, applesauce, cottage cheese or something when you are placing your drink order. Have something new to play with each time you go out (rotate several things). Another thing to keep in mind is her sleep schedule. There tends to be less acting up if you go after a nap rather than right before. If you have to, do a "time out" by taking her out and putting her in her carseat. She has to leave while everyone else gets to eat and have fun. Keep at it and and it will improve. Best Wishes!!

Stick child in highchair. Get juiced-up portable DVD player and Baby Einstein dvd's or favorite movie. You will be able to eat your meal if you do this.

it is a tough age. we got off lucky because my son thinks with his stomach - as long as it was a place with bread or chips available (we LOVE mexican places!) we were fine lol. of course he would often get full LONG before we were done eating, so it wasn't foolproof. i would, however, never allow a 17 month old "loose" in a booth. she definitely will be easier to handle if she is in a high chair. if she is expected to sit in one at home, she shouldn't fight it (maybe that is something you can work on between now and then.) at least then she wouldn't be infringing on your eating space. other than that...be firm with her, and if it gets too out of hand (sounds like she wasn't, just normal toddler behavior), don't be afraid to take her out...but i'm so sorry, i do feel this is just a normal phase. maybe someone else will have better advice...good luck!

Yes, it is always like this when we take our toddler out. She will sit still for a little bit. We try to walk her around before the food comes and wait to put her in the high chair till the last minute. We try to distract her by giving her her own fork or spoon or something to dip food in or a cup with a straw. Some restaurants have oyster crackers or bring out bread and that might distract her for a while. Then at least we can sit a little bit longer ourselves. Occasionally she is in the right mood and does great but most of the time not! (If we know the restaurant has no high chairs we bring her booster seat we can strap her into.) But most of the time we try to eat at home - it's just such a pain!!

PS - Sometimes it is the child's personality and not anything you are doing wrong. Some kids take a lot longer to teach good restaurant manners bc they are not the more "mellow" children. Some parents think they are doing everything right bc their child is so good but in some cases it is just that their child is more easy going and another child is very very active. We have been going out since our daughter was born - it just can't be helped! Sometimes we have to be out when our son has a cub scout activity or some sport and we need to eat! We have always calmly worked with our daughter on these things but there are just times she will not sit for long enough. I know from going through this with her brother that it just takes some time for some kids. And it depends on their mood at the time. When they get a little older - 2 or 3 yrs - you can start bringing some little activities for them to do till the food comes. Our son loved the little "paint" books where you fill the little brush with water and when you paint the pages the colors all appear.

When we go out w/DS, we try to bring some food (fruit, O's, etc) so he can snack while we're waiting for our food. Between that and a small backpack of toys that he never uses any other time, he's pretty good, but there are still times when he wants to talk around. In that case, if the place isn't too crowed, we take him for a walk - either guided walking or us holding him - around the restaurant so he has things to look at and distract him.

Good luck on your trip!

I think this was a new, neat experience for her and she didn't know how to deal with all of it.

-Order her food and drink first
-Bring a variety of snacks
-If she starts acting up, take her to the bathroom and have a 'talk' with her

We take our kids to restaurants all the time and have since birth. Through this process they have learned behavioral expectations and, since we didn't just spring it on them one day, they weren't totally excited and out of control because they were in a new experience. We've only ever had to leave a restaurant twice and maybe take the kids into the bathroom 4 times due to bad behavior.

While I think it is acceptable to bring kids to a restaurant it is also the responsibility of the parents to make sure that the kids behave and do not disturb other patrons. Not everyone thinks a screaming toddler or wailing baby is precious. A lot of people go out to eat to relieve stress, unwind after a long day, treat themself to a meal with friends or family, and the last thing they deserve to endure is a family who doesn't know how to behave in a restaurant. **I'm not chastising you; I'm just saying that it is possible to go to a restaurant with small kids and expect/experience proper behavior** If the children cannot behave in a way that is necessary to be at a restaurant, they should either be left at home with a babysitter or taken to McDonalds where such behavior (in the playland) is acceptable.

Sounds familiar. We have always taken both kids out. The toys are good, but don't forget to be pro-active about the other stuff: while you are sliding the little one into her seat, dad is on the other side of the booth moving the salt, pepper, and other stuff out of reach. (Except the dessert/drinks book - we let the kids look at that. They're made to be durable, and it's fun and different.) Restaurants are exciting and different places for kids - it's hard to sit still. We always get a booth if we can, and if there's none available, we get a table in a corner - or at least next to the wall, so the little ones can stand without disturbing anyone. (And, it makes it harder for them to escape.)

Also, I don't think my husband and I have been to a restaurant in the traditional dinner/lunch hours since our oldest was born - we generally skew it a little early or a little late. And we go to kid-friendly places. We have apologized to other diners before, and been told that we are in a kid-friendly restaurant, so of course they expected families to be there. This has been helpful to us in situations where we have gotten looks from poeple. If people give you looks, remember that. You are in a family-friendly restaurant, and so are the other diners. If they wanted a guaranteed kid-free dining experience, they should have gone to a restaurant that doesn't supply crayons.

All of this is just backup, though, for the unpredictability of kids. We do make it a point to enforce good behavior. It's why we're in a restaurant in the first place. The more we go, the more familiar and comfortable the kids will be in a restaurant environment. And they will be more familiar with how to behave properly. Expect good behavior, but prepare for bad. (Sort of like not allowing juice in the living room, but scotch-guarding the couch anyway.)

We have been eating out with DS (5) since he was an infant. We have never done child friendly places. What worked for us was first to use the high chair. It is a superb restraint device. We always at together at home and DS always sat at the table until dinner was over. So he was used to it which probably helped a lot. We have never done toys at restaurants although we don't take the requisite crayons away from him once the waiter gives them to him. When he was a toddler we did bring rice cakes with us so if he was hungry before the meal came he had something. We did move the salt/pepper, flowers, etc out of his reach as soon as we sat down - better to avoid temptation than to have to take things away once he grabbed them. We talked to him a lot at dinner - included him in all the conversation. I think it is basically practice. I think it also helps to avoid restaurants that are very loud or very very quiet. Also generally it is better to avoid restaurants with lots of other kids so yours does not hear lots of crying babies and see out of control kids running around.

We stopped going out for a long time because of that exact thing. If we did go out we would get take out. It was just to stressful to take her out. She is now 3 and we still get take out cause we just don't want to risk it. It's tough at that age cause they are just into everything. No matter what you bring with you to occupy them it just isn't enough. We took my daughter to Applebee's and they have pictures on the wall. Well she pulled one of the pictures off the wall. We told the waitress and she told me not to worry about it that she will say that it was like that when we got there cause they will charge you for the broken picture. I was so embaressed. I really don't know what to tell you except put her in a high chair and make sure that she is strapped in. If she fusses then take her out for a while. Make sure that there is nothing in the way that she can grab. Take turns with your hubby so that you can both eat. I wish you all the luck. I know what you are going though.

I think it is just stressful and 17 months is so young, its harder to manage her behavior. When she is closer to two, it will be better. You can try:
1)Making sure she is hungry at the restaurant (no snacks before)
2)Talking to her about how to act at the restaurant in the car on the way there (You will get to sit in a high chair, use a quiet voice, play with the toys you brought, eat food, share with mommy, etc. If you are too noisy or do not follow directions, you will have to go outside).
3)When you get there, if there will be a wait, take her outside to walk around - either you or your hubby or other family. Remind her of how to act in the restaurant.
4) When the food comes, go back inside. If her behavior starts to go over the top, take her out side and have a talk. Does she want to sit in the car and miss dinner, or sit at the table? If she cant act right, she will need to sit in the car (and you or hubby with her).

This is what we do with my son, who is 2 1/2. It works pretty well. Its no fun when you have to miss part of your dinner, but it pays off later on when the behavior improves because of it.

Good lucik!

Wow, I'm surprised with how many people don't!

We do. We have taken my son since birth. He is 22 months now. We've never had a problem. I *think* part of it is, because we never avoided it...and part is just his personality. He's laid back and go with the flow.

My sister's son sounds a bit like your daughter. She does different things to keep her son calm. Let him play with the spoons, gets up every so often to walk around, takes him to the bathroom, etc. Basically, she purposefully has frequent interruptions. It has seemed to work with him. He is a bit older now and does so much better.

We do bring them. Try to pick family friendly places and go at times we don't have to wait. There are "bad" nights.... and we try to learn from them. One time we never did eat - had to leave... Practice and patience is the only way to get better at this.

My Son is 1 (just a week now) and he knows that when he is in his highchair it's eating time. Consitancy is the key. He knows even if he's done he is to sit in his chair at the table with us until we are done. When we go out we always get crayons and paper and he can color or eat, his choice. When she starts to fuss ignore her, if she knows you'll react she'll do it everytime, so let her fuss a little bit even if she does a full out tamtrum, hopefully it'll only last a few mins and if you are at a kid friendly place then people should expect a child to be noisy and misbehave. You and your hubby and other child just have a normal conversation until she's done then try to include her. If she starts again then repeat!!! She knows she can climb on you at dinner time and when she moves things you'll pick it up or have a reaction to what she is doing...kids love the adult reactions!!! If she drops eveything on the ground leave it there until you are walking out then pick it up...she'll learn real quick that its not going to be her way!

We eat dinner with a couple who's son is awful at the table...even at home. He screams and throws a fit and if you put anything on his tray he throws it. The whole time he does this they are like awwww it's okay, okay you don't want it, awww are you not hungry, it's okay I'll pick you up. Once they pick him up he's fine as can be. Then he starts grabbing at things and they are like no no touch, here you can have this (then he throws it) she never gets a warm meal...she said she feels bad if she doesn't talk to him while he's mad...

Good Luck and I hope this advise helps! It worked for us!!!

We did--but it was not the same for quite a few years! W, at times, had to take turns taking on "laps" around the places, looking at stuff...and taking turns eating. Fun.

Bring her own food, ready to go, make sure she is hungry. Get her in a high chairfor meals, but take turns walking around with her until everyone else's food comes. It is nice to have the menu at home so you can order when they take your drink order too. Keep practicing. We found local restaurants that tolerated our toddlers beng toddlers, and we continue to have good and bad meals. It won't magically happen if you don't keep at it. Right of passage. :)

Yes, this is a hard stage for sure. I take my 17 m/o and my 3 y/o old and sometimes it can be an adventure! If she's still sitting in a high chair at home, then I agree with strapping her in that chair at the restaurant. In fact, once we hit the table, I strap my kid in immediately b/c otherwise he'll go wild in the booth and attempt to visit everyone's table, seriously. If you're going someplace that doesn't have high chairs, or you're not sure, take your own. A stroller will work in a pinch too although I don't really like to do that b/c it's so much lower than the table, but if you have to it works. Like others said I bring snacks and toys. I've found cars to be one of the best restaurant toys b/c you can zoom them back and forth and up and around things and it's fun. Sometimes it works better than others, it also depends on how hungry he is. If your daughter is not interested in the toys, use what's on the table as best as possible. I do let my kids sort the sugar packets, it drives my mom crazy, but I don't see any harm in it. Dump them out and let her put them back in. Put them in piles according to color...do whatever makes her happy. Use the napkin to play peek a boo, point out how shiny the tops of the salt and pepper are, etc. I don't usually get much talking with my husband, or whoever else is there, b/c I feel like all I'm doing is talking to the toddler sometimes, but at least it's not a miserable experience! If you don't miss going out, don't want to go out, etc., then it's okay to stay home. But, if you do want to go out you're just "afraid", then I suggest just trying and trying again. Yes, it's an age thing, but I also think it's a life skill. In life we have to wait and be patient, and even though 17 months is a little young to teach these skills, it's still important to do it! On your vacation hopefully you will have some family that can help with her, but vacations are stressful anyway with schedule changes, etc. so don't less this get you down!

Of course she wanted all the fun things on the table! I always kept a small box of "restaurant only" toys in the car - they only came out for those occasions and were never used in the car itself or at home. That way they are totally new. For your 4 nights away, I would have a different set for each night, or at least rotate one night on, one night off with stuff she hasn't seen. Coloring doesn't always do it.

I would insist on a booster or high chair, and wouldn't go to a place that didn't have one. You can also keep something in the car or get one of those seats that sort of clip on to the table. I would also take a snack or have the waitress bring you some crackers right away so there's no waiting at this age.

As for the dipping of the crayon - at least she's into things like that. Next time ask the waitress right away for thin carrot sticks or green pepper spears and get some nutrition into your kid!

Hang in there - it gets easier!

Yes I have with my 2.5 daughter and it is hard some times, not always.
Most of the times I bring something for her to distract her self and while waiting for our food I draw with her or even play with the sugar bags, she counts them, pile them, order them by color, etc.
When our food comes she and I would eat, but are times when I need to use my phone to kept her sit.
Honestly, I am not afraid to be rising a spoil kid by doing this, as a matter of FACT, I have a 13 year old which I also use many tricks to kept her sit on the restaurant which neither of them was hitting. Some days it went well, other no so well, but guess what, she is 13 and she doesn't jump up and down, she doesn't gets up and wonder for the restaurant, or throw food all over and she has being good in a very long time.
Yes, I talk to them and I didn't allow them to get up on the sits, and it was a give and take kind of thing ("No, you are not going to get up, sorry but you are not, period, hey look how many yellow sugars are here!, Good job, etc)
You can try to bring stuff like colors and paper, small toys, or even your phone.
Try to stay in the restaurant little time for the first times, and add more time as she gets use to. Maybe even take a break to go to the bathroom so they can walk and distract would allow you to go back and eat again for the rest of the dinner.

We didn't. We did take out food until my son was 4 yrs old and then we began going to fast food places with playgrounds. He was 4 and a half before we took him to a restaurant. We were on vacation at the beach and went to a nice seafood place. He was very well behaved by then and there was no stress involved. If you're traveling, you can have pizza or Chinese food delivered to your room.

I bring a dvd player and the kids sit and eat as they watch cartoons so I can enjoy my meal :)

We haven't gotten to this point with our daughter, (11 months) But we take her out a lot. as long as she has something paper to tear up she is happy as a clam. She hasn't figured out the plate thing, so we make sure the table is freshly wiped down. We will also give her bits of soft food, like mashed potatoes to play in and eat. Luckily, something crinkly ALWAYS gets her attention and she will spend however long you let her crinkling it.

for us 18 months was the worst of the restaurant stages. For one, they want to roam. For another they shriek and scream and are a little young to know not to scream in a restaurant. think in a short time you will find it more enjoyable. 2 years old was a good year for restaurants for us.

We take our 2 year old daughter out for dinner alot. The first two times it was horrible. Now we order her food first, make her sit in a booster seat(she refuses the highchair) and have her color on the kids menu while we look at our menu. Then i tell her that if she wants ice cream she HAS to be nice no screaming, climbing or getting up. Whenever she tries to do something bad i stop her and whisper that if she acts mean or bad she will not get ice cream and it works for me. As we are finishing up our dinner we order the ice cream so she stays occupied. I know you are not supposed to bribe kids with food but i never give her junk food at home, so rewarding her behavior at special dinners with a little ice cream is fine with me!

You have a lot of good advice. It reminded me of my first son (now grown up) who would eat with us in a restaurant and then felt he HAD to say bye-bye to everybody else on the way out.

Remember that a restaurant environment is really interesting. Look at the colors, the lights, the cool stuff on the tables! And all the people moving around, and all the noises! What a place! Who can sit still? (I wish you'd gotten a picture of the crayons in the salad dressing.) As she gets more used to restaurants, she'll be a little less antsy, but you'll still want to bring things to keep her busy in the right way

All I can really add to the discussion is a reminder to tip big! You can't help but have a lot for an employee to clean up after you! :^)

we've always gone out to eat - i didn't want to be stuck in the house. we go out for breakfast atleast once a month. you just need to get into practice so that she's used to it and everything isn't a new discovery - that's why she's all over the place. start with breakfast/brunch/lunch options as those tend to be quicker meals. you really aren't going to be able to have a discussion with your husband, for a little bit as you'll need to keep her occupied to keep her out of trouble, but once's shes used to restaurants, she'll get over the new ness and be ready to use what ever toys you brought. i ahve a seperate bag that we only use in the restaurants - so they are "special" toys b/c they don't have them every day, and that usually occupies them.

also iPod Touch. we have now have (2) of them for my 2.5 and 4.5 year old we load them up with all these toddler friendly apps - we have a memory game on there, ABC/123, a paint one where they paint with their fingers on teh screen then shake it to clear the screen adn start over.... you can even load some of her favorite shows on there. they play with the color wonder paper/markers etc, matchbox cars etc and then when our food comes, they get to use the ipods while we eat. they usually don't eat all that much. i usually bring uncrustables and a juice box for them to eat.

It is hard. My son is nearing four years old so recently it has gotten better. Many times he will want to go to the bathroom three or four times while we are there. Last time we went, I had him bring a toy with him. His father and I told him that if he does not behave well we were going to take away his new toy and the new sneakers he had gotten. He said he wanted to be good. Any time that he started to act up he was gently reminded of what we talked about and he stopped. It will get better with age. We would sometimes have one of us eat then the other person eat. The other parent would entertain my son or walk him around. It is hard but the more you do it the more your child will get used to it and will not what is expected of them.

Go to a place that has high chairs or booster seats. Could not have been too
kid friendly if they did not have these. If she is confined, it will be much
easier. The more you do it, the easier it will get.

My children have been going out to eat reguarly with us since they were born. They have almost always behaved very well and when they haven't(around 2 yrs. old a few times)we have boxed our food and left. If you don't practice going out to eat and telling your child what you expect of them then how are they supossed to know how to behave in a restaurant? I would tell her in advance 2 or 3 things you expect of her, for example, sitting in her seat, not standing and using an indoor voice. Bring some toys she doesn't normally play with. I used to call them restaurant toys. They only got them when we went out-small cans of playdough, toy cars, etc. I, also, always have some snacks for my kids for before the food arrives and a treat at the end of the meal to give them something to do while we finish eating. Dumdums are great. Kids like them and they take a while to eat. Remind her of the rules if she begins to do something you don't like and try to use distraction instead of constantly saying no. If things don't go well, leave and try again another time. I would keep outings short for a while. She is still very young-45 minutes tops. With patience and practice, she'll be doing great in no time.

my 16 month sounds like your child. My son always wants to get out of the high chair, wants to grab the menu, silverware , etc etc. He will scream and cry. We def move everything to the other end of the table so he can't reach anything but he is always sitting in a highchair. We dont let him walk on the booth. If he wants to walk we take him outside or in the lobby. But my son loves to eat so as soon as the food comes he eats and doesn't stop until we leave. Given that i always bring him lil snacks, toys, crayons, something he can play with before the food comes, it helps. B/c there has been times where i forget all those things and things are just stressful, but you live and learn. Now i don't forget anything hehe good luck, its normal