Inappropriate?

There's a TIME and PLACE for everything. That was NOT the right time or place.

Does the word FILTER mean ANYTHING to her?

I agree with many, yes inappropriate, but I also learned from another mom that the more you are open at home about the issues of sex, the more they will talk to you about it (versus the old age of only talking to freinds and hiding things from the parents). My kids are 7 and 8 and they could care less about it, but I do want them to tell me what they hear at school about it, or what kids are doing when they hit middle school (or ask me questions so they get the correct information), and if I want that, I am going to have to make it an open topic for discussion at home so they feel comfortable telling us. I thought that was great advice and yes it will be uncomfortable to do, but I think necessary.

Personally I don't find the topic vulgar, but I think your friend should respect your feelings about the matter and not talk about it in front of your son. I think you could bring it up lightly, in passing, "Hey the next time a sexual topic comes up, I would like us to table it until all the kids are out o ear shot, OK?"

IMO this was very insensitive to your sons being there and his feelings. She should have waited till you were in private!

Ha, yeah your son is old enough to know what shes talking about! I dont think I would want my 11 y/o involved in a masturbation convo either!

While I don't find the subject of masturbation 'vulgar', if would DEF make me uncomfortable to discuss it in the presence of a 10 yo boy who was not mine, yes. I'm guessing now she understands your 'different upbringing'?

:)

I think, regardless of where you stand on the subject, it was extremely RUDE and inconsiderate of your friend to make any assumption about whether or not an obviously (she thought so for her own child) sensitive subject was okay to discuss in front of your son. She should have asked you. And then, to have continued after you objected.... well.... that speaks loads.
I would be highly offended on just those grounds alone.

I think your friend was behaving VERY inappropriately & I would have shut her down in mid-sentence. And nicely but firmly told her that this conversation needed to be had at a later date & that your son is NOT big enough to handle this type of grown up conversation. Then I would have changed the subject, if she had a problem with that-then she could take her kids & go home. Case closed!!

innapropriate. its even more innapropriate BECAUSE he probably knows what it is. If it were over his head, I wouldn't think much of it. But when he is old enough to know what it is and get a mental picture, its absolutely wrong. I think she was showing consideration for her child, but not for yours. Hers are the only kids that matter in her little world.

If she doesn't want it spoken about in front of her children fine, but it is not her decision (regardless of the topic) to decide what is appropriate in front of yours.

That was inappropriate and inconsiderate of her to do that to you and your child. Especially since she didn't want her own child (only a year younger!) not hearing that conversation. I would talk to her in private and share how you felt so it doesn't happen again in the future.
A.

Your friend was so out of line here.. That was very inappropriate...

Did you ever see the episode of Roseanne where they find out that DJ has started masturbating? And the dad has to tell him it's ok to do. So then DJ says, dad, do you do it? And the dad says, well, here's the thing... everyone does it, but we don't talk about it, ok? I always thought that was so funny.

And yep, I do think that moms talking about masturbation in front of an 11 year old is inappropriate - if only for total embarrassment on the part of the 11 year old. What 11 year old boy wants to hear his mom talk about that? Ugh....

Next time - tell her to finish the conversation later. That you don't want your son to feel embarrassed.

I'm pretty sure your son knows what masturbating is. I too think it's an ok topic ( I believe in the power of knowledge and openness between parents and kids) but your friend should have respected your wishes.

I'm 100% with Tracey K. It's not vulgar, it's inappropriate as you said in your SWH. My son is about to turn 12 next week & I can tell you that this would bug me a whole heaping lot that she clearly showed sensitivity to her kid, but not to mine. No doubt we would have had words before I left her house that day.

Your friend is strange. A child in diapers isn't old enough to masturbate. They may play with themselves but it isn't masturbation.

Oh and then discussing it and in front of your children, lord! I don't consider it vulgar but just inappropriate. Keep her delusions to herself.

Masturbation is natural. Little kids do it for a little while and it then starts up again with teenagers. It is not a vulgar thing in itself. Masturbation is important for kids to find out how their bodies work and what will work for them later in a sexual relationship.
By making it a vulgar topic you teach them shame and discomfort. Of course you don't have to talk about it all the time, but don't make it seem like something dirty either.

I agree that your friend's behaviour was inappropriate - worse, in fact, it was disrespectful towards you and your child! She can't have less regard for your children than she does for her own! I would have a private, mom-to-mom talk with her and explain that you were upset that she would relate that story in your son's presence. Hopefully this is an isolated incident that won't be repeated, but (if it does) be prepared to stop socialising with her when the kids are around! Best wishes.

Unfortunately, the subject must come up, especially with boys. I find it completely distasteful that she would talk about it like that. It's a private conversation between parent and child alone!

But, I don't know a single 4 or 5 year old child that hasn't been caught doing it when they are tired or bored. So no matter what words are used, it has to be dealt with.

If you haven't run into this, lucky you!

Is this the first time she was inappropriate? I do not want to have to explain that subject until the right time. She should have more sense.

This reminds me of the stress two friends and their kids added to my life all year. I finally had ENOUGH when I realized they were rude, selfish, and boorish. I had to KEEP telling them no, even when I was firm. I resented them. I began avoiding them after discussing problems with them and not getting any change. They got the hint and I haven't seen them in months.
If I see them, I will be friendly and keep walking. I read about other rude people on here and I read the responses. No one said "Put up with more. They have a good reason..." Everyone was outraged. i do not miss them and neither does my child.

I agree with you. It was totally not something that should have been discussed iin front of your son. How can she say your son is old enough and her daughter is no? As the parent it is your right to have said as you did not to discuss it in front of your son and your friend should have respected you.

Not something you talk about in front of kids... it is the parents choice when and how to talk about with their child not others.

I would have come very close to walking out and reaming her out for not thinking it was a big deal.

Yes, inappropriate! I had that happen when my daughter was getting braces and a mom was saying how bad it hurt. I had to repeat over and over "My daughter passes out easily with anything medical." It took repeating 3 times before she got the hint. Just keep repeating, not in front of my kids over and over until she stops.