Well, we found out who was pretending to be my daughter on facebook...it was her former best friend. Her and another girl created the acct. thinking it would be a big joke. Thing is, no one is laughing. The other girl supposedly posted on her own acct. "people die from rumors". or something to that effect because she didn't like that my daughter thought it was her. And her former bff...denied up and down when my daughter asked if she did it (and at that point, it was still pretty harmless and could have been stopped.)
What concerns me is we have no idea what might have been posted under this pretend person (the page is now gone, I emailed and told them it needed to be taken down immediately or I would call the police.) Sadly, the former bff's dad is a cop. I did email the mom of the other girl, someone I have never met, and just told her I thought she needed to know what was going on.
I also called the school and the guidance office is going to involve the officer on duty and the principal. (we think it all started because this other girl was teasing my daughter last week, so my daughter just quietly deleted her from fb because she doesn't want to deal w/ other people's bs, and this girl did not like that...when she figured out she was deleted, she emailed my daughter and said she knew who created the fake acct, but wasn't telling.) Right then, we had a feeling this girl was involved.
Anyway, I feel like I have done all I can for now, and am waiting for the school to call me back, meanwhile, worrying about how my daughter is doing...she wouldn't eat this morning and was very stressed. Thank God for her REAL friends, who are standing by her and have her back. Any other words of advice or encouragement? Thanks to all who responded to my earlier post...you all helped me see more clearly and have more confidence...a huge reason why I use this sight! :)
Good job, mama! Keep on this even though it is the end of the school year. Schools need to know these things, so they can better protect and educate the kids.
Sorry you all are going through this. SUPER stressful for sure. Give P lots of love, and keep talking to her about life these days. Maybe she learned a very valuable lesson she normally wouldn't have? Ugh. Parenting in this cyber world is HARD!
What shame for all this to go on. Thanks for the up-date.
I'm sure all the girls involved are stressed. They're children and really don't get the gravity of the situation and what they've done.
It's got to stop. It's got to get better, we must learn to be kind to each other, not just say no to bullying. Children more and more learn these negative things right from the beginning, even in day care/nursery school. Media and movies don't help. What a shame for everyone.
You did what you had to do. Just keep hugging and loving, she'll be alright.
God Bless you both.
N., this reminds me of the awful thing that happened some years back when a mother and her daughter pretended to be a boy interested in a girl. They got her hooked on this "boy" and then proceeded to trash her. The girl committed suicide. The mom was taken to court over it and got off since there were not enough cyber-bullying laws on the books (still aren't, if you ask me, considering the college student who just got a 30 day sentence for filming his roommate having sex with another boy, driving the roommate to suicide). However, everyone knew what she and her daughter had done and she lost all her friends over it. I don't know much more than that - perhaps she ended up moving and losing her job too, I don't know.
I would actually google stories like that and copy them out to give to all the adult parties concerned, including the mothers and the police officer. Tell them that stuff like THIS is the most worrisome part about it. The girls need to take responsibility for their actions and their threatening messages (like "people die from rumors".) That especially needs to be talked about and the girl called on the carpet for it.
There is a cyber case now regarding a man who has tried to ruin people he has gotten on the wrong side of, including former bosses, former business associates, even people he hired to sell merchandise on Ebay. People like him will end up getting more laws on the books, and those who seek to hurt others on the internet better pay attention. Meanwhile, for these girls, their parents need to do the right thing in chastising them and making them walk a straight line. I hope that they will.
Dawn
Hopefully, it is a good thing that the ex-friend's dad is a cop. I know several cops, and they are all good, honest, upstanding men. Hopefully, he is not a bully, but a good cop who will recognize the gravity of what his daughter is done. I will watch for future updates.
That is sad that kids feel the need to do stuff like that. Sounds like you did the right thing by contacting the school and getting them involved. Since they know what's going on if something comes up with your daughter they will not be surprised and know to support her!!! Hang in there!!!
Good luck and God Bless!!!
In the future, there is a way to prevent someone from seeing your fb updates, photos, and writing on your wall, without 'deleting' them.
Its under the Home, Account Settings, Privacy Settings, Custom
You need to make sure you check her privacy settings. Make sure they are set for kids, not able to be searched by anyone. Set them to friends only.
That way if she does not invite a person to be her friend they will not be able to see her when they type her name in to find her. If she un-friends them they will not be able to even interact with her.
If you go in after setting these new settings then you can also go to the account managing and type in your little list of names that you want blocked from her.
As long as she does not go in and change these settings she will be protected very well. Kids accounts automatically go in a different set of privacy boundaries but fine tuning them will make it even more secure from unwanted friends bothering her.
There is a police officer in Naperville who specializes in this sort of thing -- his name is Rich Wystocki. He recommends various computer monitoring programs so that it is easier for parents to check on their children's on line activity. It is illegal to impersonate someone on line, and this detective has been working to help strengthen the laws against cyber-bullying, which is the next big thing for schools. I would highly recommend reaching out to him. He might be able to help you document what happened to your daughter in a way that could prove who acted against her. It is not hard to back-check the internet address which initiated the online content that is illegal. If the girl's father is reluctant to take any action, having a fellow police officer involved might fix that. Please don't let this go, people who would do this to your daughter would do it to others as well, who might not have the supportive network of family and friends that your daughter is lucky to have. Good luck.
