My son was a wild one last year he was always in trouble, always in the principals office (the teacher didn't like him) Now this year he is doing amazing, hardly getting in trouble. His anger issues have calmed down. He is great! My concern is at lunch, I am a SAHM and so I go eat lunch with my kids and nieces and nephew quiet a bit. But recently I had been very busy due to health problems with my youngest, so I couldn't go as much. One day week before last I was there and the counselor told me that my older son usually eats by himself. I find that so sad!!! I hate when any child has to sit by them self at lunch. I asked my son why he did, and he said the other boys won't listen to him. I know he has "girl friends" not in the dating sense but girls that are friends. But since he is in second grade girls are gross to sit with. I just feel really sad for my poor baby!
EDIT:
There are always kids who have their parents come eat. It would be a weird day to find no parents in the cafeteria, and its actually pretty funny, because they usually only have 4 kids to the table but at a parent's table all the kids smoosh together to sit with them. Thankfully around here its a cool thing.
As far as the counselor goes, he is weird, I have asked him questions about other things before, and he beats around the bush for an answer. I'm not too pleased with him. I think the majority of the problem is he is friends with a twin, at lunch his twin wants to eat lunch with him and so does the twins friend. well that makes 3 people sometimes my son is at the end of the line so whoever sits first gets to be at the table. But there are a couple of kids that like to sit by themselves but they are the quiet kids who don't talk to any one.
C.,
Have you talked to him about it? Asked him why he sits by himself? Sometimes kids need a break from others just like adults do. That may be the perfect opportunity for him to get a quiet break when he doesn't have to talk to anyone or answer the teacher etc. Ask him....then see what he wants to do about it if anything.... He may be fine with it.
He may need some help socializing. If he says the other boys won't listen to him, does that mean he's being bossy or dominating the conversation? The first trick to having friends is to BE one, to listen and be interested in what others are saying.
The other thing that comes to mind is, I wonder if it's off-putting to the other kids if the parents go and have lunch with the children? Lunch is a fun time and kids can enjoy each other's company. Maybe they don't like having a mom there? Are the kids making fun of him because his mom had lunch with him? Is spending time with you taking away from his time spent socializing with this peers?
I've never heard of a school where parents eat lunch with the kids, so maybe I just can't visualize it. All the years I was teaching, there were no parents in the lunch room. Maybe it's a regional thing?
Anyway, he may need some help learning to make conversation and not have it be about him. A lot of kids do. Speak to the guidance counselor.
I also never heard of a lunch room where kids were sitting alone and others were allowed to exclude a child.
Updated
He may need some help socializing. If he says the other boys won't listen to him, does that mean he's being bossy or dominating the conversation? The first trick to having friends is to BE one, to listen and be interested in what others are saying.
The other thing that comes to mind is, I wonder if it's off-putting to the other kids if the parents go and have lunch with the children? Lunch is a fun time and kids can enjoy each other's company. Maybe they don't like having a mom there? Are the kids making fun of him because his mom had lunch with him? Is spending time with you taking away from his time spent socializing with this peers?
I've never heard of a school where parents eat lunch with the kids, so maybe I just can't visualize it. All the years I was teaching, there were no parents in the lunch room. Maybe it's a regional thing?
Anyway, he may need some help learning to make conversation and not have it be about him. A lot of kids do. Speak to the guidance counselor.
I also never heard of a lunch room where kids were sitting alone and others were allowed to exclude a child.
It's amazing the difference a teacher and a little maturity can make, C.. I'm glad that he's having a better year.
Talk to the guidance counselor about the lunch issue. See if she can think of something to help. There is something that your son is doing to bother the boys, and the guidance counselor can help him figure it out. She might role play with him to help him iron out the kinks, so to speak, and hopefully that will help him.
It's important for him to make friends. I hope she can help him.
Dawn
Lunch rooms can be very overwhelming for some kids. I wonder if this is how your son is feeling. I would ask his teacher about good matches of friends for him to sit with. Maybe even sit him next to in class. It is great that he is maturing and doing well this year-growing up can be a rough road. You sound like a great mom who will help him through it all!
I suggest that if you're now able to have lunch with him, you go and help him find seating with kids that you think he might like. Ask the teacher for names of kids to sit with. This way you can see the way he interacts and better know how to help him. You can see if it's true that boys don't sit with girls.
I have 12 and 9 yo grandchildren, a girl and a boy. They sit with kids of the opposite sex. Always have. I would question that girls are gross at this age for all boys. Perhaps someone has teased him and he needs help learning how to ignore teasing.
That is sad, and interesting. Any school my kids have attended, the children do not get to choose who they sit by at lunch. They sit by whomever they are next to in line. Period. This is STILL the case with my daughter, who is now in 6th grade. They are not allowed to get up and move around in the cafeteria either (except to get a napkin or something).
Even when they were in private school, they sat in the order they entered the cafeteria (or whoever was next in the "brought lunch from home" group).
My son isn't in school yet, but it would break my heart if he had to eat alone. From what I can remember, when I was in school, we all ate together (very long lunch tables) but I don't remember ever really talking to anyone. I was always pretty shy/nerdy growing up so I had no social life till after I graduated high school. It was very depressing. I hope you can get to the root of this and help him socialize if needed. Give him a big hug.
