I'm Goin' Nuts!!!!

Does she know that she cannot go to school until she is able to wipe herself? You might want to try having her older sister help her with this. My daughters are 9 years apart and my youngest one loves her older sister and would do anything she asked her to do. If your oldest does agree to help, I would reward her with something special. If she is afraid of getting her hands dirty, keep a package of baby wipes on the back of the toilet and she can wipe with those. That is what I did with mine. Worked wonders. Good luck.

M.,

Well I think Dr. Fay would say to your little daughter when she is on the potty and calls you into wipe her is ( Name ) this is so sad, I really feel bad for you, but I will be in the next room when you are done because I need to do..(xyz?) and Good Luck with that. Walk out and let her think about it and hopefully after a few trys or getting poop on her pants she will do it. It will be very hard to do, but it will work.Stay strong and don't give in. Lake Forrest Prep School puts on Seminars for Parents by Dr. Fay for $ 25.00 the next one is April 12th from 9-3, and it is for parents that do not attend the school as well. It gives you great tools on how to deal with situations like this that will make your little ones think real hard.

Don't wipe her for a day or two. She will get sore. Then you can explain why her but hurts. Or you can teach her to flush the potty right away after she goes, then take a big wad of toilet paper (so her hands don't touch anything) and wipe that way. You could also get her plastic throw away gloves to put on so she wipes herself without getting her hands dirty. My boys didn't like to wipe themselves and I let them get sore. Now they come to me with their little butts in the air saying "Mom is my butt clean?" Good luck!

Quite frankly, I've yet to meet the 4 or 5 year old who effectively wipes the poo off of their butt. In all the years I worked in the school system, the teachers still had to do that task.

At any rate, obviously there is an entirely different issue to deal with.. she's highly concerned with the "dirty-ness" of it. SO that needs to be dealt with first. (Treat the cause; not the symptom).
Explain that she won't get dirty; give her disposable gloves; explain that whether or not she gets dirty she must clean her hands afterwards anyway.

I am not as experienced as you. I have a 3 year old that is proving hard to just potty train. I do teach first grade though... Have you tried gloves? I am not sure if they make them that small for her and it could get pricey, but its worth a shot... Or give some sort of incentive for each time she does it on her own. Just some thoughts. Good luck!