When he was first completely potty trained he did wipe himself, but sometime in the last year, I don't know if he became lazy or just forgets that he needs to do it. It is so disgusting when I do laundry some days. When I find his boxers with the poop stains in them, I make him clean them up and put them in the washer but I don't always see them if the white boxers are mixed with other white colors. I've also told him that kids are going to start teasing him the older he gets and he keeps doing it. Doesn't seem to sink in.
My son doesn't even attempt to wipe himself and doesn't flush, hence the reason I know he doesn't wipe too.
Maybe telling him he'll get "diaper rash" if he doesn't clean himself well and ask him "you're not a baby, right?"
Someone else wrote today about her 11 year missing the toilet when he pees. I'll give the same advice - make him clean the toilet until he practices better hygiene.
I told both of my kids the following story when they were slacking in the toilet hygiene department. When I was in 7th grade, a boy at my church was interested in me, and I had a crush on him. He was a couple years older than me. His dad died when he was young, and he lived in a houseful of girls. I ignored the fact that his underarms stank - adolescene is hard. My mom, bless her heart, didn't say anything to me, but looking back I knew she was not happy that I liked this boy.
The thing that changed my feelings was the day I was visiting his sisters, and needed to throw away my kleenex after a nosebleed. His bedroom was how we walked in and out of the house (the back door). He had a bathroom on the adjacent wall, and I popped in to throw the tissue in the trash. There was a huge turd in the toilet that he had not flushed, and NO toilet paper. That was it.
I think my story helped my kids. Also, my younger son used to have a sore bottom if he didn't wipe properly - I used to have to put desitin on him. I knew it was bad if he would ask me for help (he hid his junk so I wouldn't see it while I put the desitin on him, smile! I reminded him that I am mommy and changed his diapers, but it was still humiliating to him!) We went over how to wipe well, and I finally got him to try the washlet where we lived. That helped.
So, mom, make him clean the toilet since he can't bother to flush. Make him separate his colors and whites and scrub with his hands the underwear with track marks.
Dawn
I don't know why - but I know that some boys go through this phase. My son did and so did my nephew. It is gross - and they dont' seem to care. I used alot of bleach in those days to keep his underwear clean-ish. My older nephew one day told my son he "smelled like a$$" - and that seemed to be the turning point. He finally realized he had to wipe his butt - had to take showers, etc. I think he also came across some other kids in school who smelled bad and it was an eye-opener for him. But somehwere around 3rd - 5th grade we had the same issue and I've known other moms who say the same thing.
Bottom line is that little boys can be gross little creatures. But they do come to a point where they realize they don't want to be the gross kid at school. I don't know if mom's pressure ever is the deciding thing though...
I keep those flushable wipes handy in the bathroom. My son can't wipe well either, so these help keep his bottom clean!
Added: tell him if he doesn't wipe, he could end up with getting lots of worms, and have to go to the doctors to take them out! That set my son straight.
What is up with men and skid marks??
Luckily my husband rarely gets them but when he does, I jokingly tell him to take those underwear over to his moms to let her clean them. Oh and I usually refer to them as his "panties with skid marks" to further make my point.
I'd be firm with your son - tell him that he has to wipe and look until it's clean. That you DO NOT want to see anymore dirty underwear anymore or there will be consequesnces (no wii, phone, computer - whatever).
How about when you see the evidence in the toilet you immediately stop him from what his is doing (watching TV, playing video games, playing with his friends whatever) and tell him he has to take a shower and can't continue to do what he is doing until he does.
You may even be able to manipulate the timing a bit so as soon as he starts doing something he enjoys you "find" the evidence then and he has to shower. He may start to realize it's a lot easier on himself to wipe.
I'd also include the wipes like the other mom's have said.
Just go in there and do it for him or else it dose not matter that bad if he only does one wipe and then leaves
Does he use the moist wipes after the toilet paper? My nephew needs to have them, (he also has aspergers) he won't even poop without them in the bathroom. My sister has some in a ziploc bag for school. I have them for my daughter also. I don't think just regular paper does the entire job.
Are you sure it's not something more?
Encopresis can present like that--with poo leaking out onto the underwear.
I second the wet wipes on the toilet--VERY handy.
My son is almost 9 and very "into" the Axe body wash, spray, etc., so maybe play up the smell-good desire?
Good luck!
