If Your Dad Smokes How Do You Get Him to Stop?

oh my word!! Julie S. PERFECT answer!! I'm laughing really hard!! Thank you for the laugh!

You can't make someone do something.

You ask him not to smoke around you. You ask him if knows how much you love him. You tell him you're afraid to lose him.

Julie - I laughed out loud at your response. Oh my .. I needed a chuckle and I got one!

H. - you can't make people do what you want them to. Better to learn that now. If your dad wants to quit, he will.

We (as a family) talked to my husband about our concerns when he used to smoke. Health and also financial. He was ready to quit - our conversation sort of was what he needed to take the first step.

ETA: My dad smoked my whole life - he started smoking when he was 17 years old. He quit on his own in 1982. It was HIS CHOICE. No amount of begging, pleading or crying made him do it. He needed to want to stop on his own.

My husband is a smoker. he does NOT smoke in our home. Our boys have told him what they think of his smoking. He has acknowledged their concerns. He will stop when he is ready. It's an addiction. You need to understand that.

welcome to mamapedia.

You don't. He is a grown man. He knows what he is doing to his body.

You can tell him that you would like him to stop. You can tell him how much money he would save if he stopped. But overall? HE has to want to stop. You can't make him and you can't force him.

Christopher Reeves wife NEVER smoked a day in her life, neither did he, and she died of lung cancer.

STOP worrying about things you can't control.

You can have one serious conversation with him, telling him you love him and wish he would quit because you are worried about his health. Then you accept that he is an adult, and he makes his own decisions that are beyond your control.

My Dad smoked also. Soon after I spoke with him about my fears etc. he quit. He knew the dangers but somehow, hearing the fears of loved ones puts things in perspective and OFTEN it helps. Just speak to him from the heart and that is the best you can do.

If you must have a talk with him about this then do it respectfully. The fact is he knows it is not good for him, but he is not ready to quit. He can not do it for you or anyone else, he has to decide he is ready because the withdrawal symptoms are absolutely horrendous. If you keep coming at him about it you will come a cross as judgmental or he may feel like you are treating him like a child. He is a grown man, he knows the risks, I would leave him be.

You don't. Good luck

Julie, your response has me so tickled. I'm LOL right now. That should do it!

H., in whichever way you decide to go about this, don't forget to let him know how much you love him.

I smoked in college, and I quit my senior year because I added up what I had spent on cigarettes for 4 years. And they weren't very expensive then! When I realized I could have gone on a unique and popular trip during winter break if I had just banked that money, I woke up. So totaling up what he has spent is not only a good exercise in math, it's pretty eye-opening. Are there things he wants for himself or his family that he cannot afford? What if cigarette money plus the added health costs from smoking damage were applied to something beneficial? Do some research and create a spread sheet or graph (good use of math and computer) that helps show the big picture. Work with your sister if she is equally concerned, and make a "professional" presentation that shows the impact and also, on the side, demonstrates that you can apply yourself to something that's important.

Does your dad smoke in the house? Are you and your sister exposed to this? Then you, as a family, need to present a united front on how this affects everyone. I had a friend die of lung cancer, and neither she nor anyone in her family smoked, nor did she work in a hazardous environment. Her last 7 years were sheer hell.

Encourage your mother to work with your father's doctor to develop a smoking cessation plan, using the patch or any of the other drugs available, and the types of support groups that help a serious addiction. This is a physical and emotional dependency that your has, and it has to be approached as a huge project, not just something his kids nag him about. And consider shutting off the TV and computers, and going for a family walk. He's probably not going to smoke while he walks, and if he builds up some good endorphins from exercise, maybe he won't be as quick to pick up a cigarette. Most smokers light up when their hands are relatively idle - watching TV, driving, sitting at a desk. Minimize those times, and get some family closeness as a bonus.

talk to him and tell him that your afraid of loosing him. tell him that theres ways to quit like using chantix that a dr can help him with