I Swear My 4 Yr Old Has PMS!!!!!

ha, my boys do the same thing, they are 3 and 5 years old....i thought it's supposed to be a girl thing.....I have to bite my toung every time not to say anything about them acting like girls....it's just crazy.........sorry no advice here.

LOL @ PMS! She sounds like my twin 4 year olds. There are hovering between needing mommy to do everything for them and wanting to be independent. I find that kids whining is how they express frustration. Try helping her verbally express her frustrations to you. Just stay firm in your discipline and let her know that outburst like that are not acceptable. She'll mature with age.

hmmmm... this one just needs consistency on the no!! I have had what Mexicans call.. "chillones" cry babies in my life too. She will only cry hysterically to the point of a headache; yet she turns around and is her normal sweet self- time to nip that in the butt I say-
Don't give her what she wants, time outs are good, walk out of the house if you need to so that she can know you are not putting up with that- the reason I say this so harshly is ... guess what is around the corner? Kindergarten!!!
She is doing this cause she knows her crying gets to you so you will have to give in- don't do it!! Good luck.. get some earphones or an MP3 and do your best in using the NO... it will be all worth it...

Four year olds (BOTH boys and girls) can be super sensitive at times.

I always emphasize that crying will not get you what you want when it seems that it's being used as a tool. But for those times where it's just a complete meltdown out of nowhere, I summon some inner willpower of my own and squat down to her level, talk in a very calm voice, try to get her to take a deep breath, and try to have her tell me what's wrong. They may not know. I think kids are learning so much at this age, they have frustration when any little thing they try to do doesn't work out the way they imagined, they have transitioned from their earlier nap schedules (but still sometimes need them), they don't want to be babies, but they can't do everything themselves, they're putting pressure on themself, so they take anything you say as criticism, even if all you said was "put your shoes on". Or if they didn't like the look on your face or the tone of your voice.

I have a daughter, now 6, and it does get better, not that there still aren't moments, but they're less frequent. And I have many friends with boys so I can attest that I've seen the exact same behavior in them, waterworks, hysteria, all of it. It will pass, especially if you don't reward the behavior. Don't be mean about it, just tell her when she calms down you will be happy to talk to her, and ease her through whatever the crisis is.

YES girls are emotional... and as my husband says "like a PMS'ing woman.."

The thing is... in addition to having whatever "rules" you have for your child/household... you need to teach and help your girl... to express herself... AND to have "coping skills" and problem solving skills.
SO THAT... when they are melting down... they will have learned how to circumvent that. In the LONG term... you will then have created an emotionally articulate child, and one that increases their emotional IQ.

When my daughter is just icky like that... she KNOWS herself and will succinctly say why she is upset. She will either say if she needs help, or if my intervening will just IRRITATE her more. Or, we tell her go in her room to vent and this is her safe place. Then after she calms down.. its fine or we talk about it.
It is not about letting it happen or letting her be a pain... but her knowing herself and having learned, how to cope with icky/grumpy feelings.
It is about the Parent... creating a pattern of behavior with the child... so that, they can as they get older... know how to navigate themselves through difficult emotionality... and to be aware and self-reliant.

There have been times... when "I" myself is like that because I AM actually PMS'ing... and well, my excuse is its age-appropriate! LOL but my daughter will tell me "Mommy, count to 10 and calm down..."
Which are techniques I use with them, too.

Anyway, without being long winded... it does happen. Girls are like this. It does not really go away.... and just when you think its going away... then they will be pre-teens! And it starts all over again! LOL

All the best,
Susan

Ha! So funny... I have thought the same thing about my 3 1/2 year old girl. I try to be sensitive/understanding up to a point and not let it get me mad. But when I can tell she's just manipulating me and seeing how much she can get away with, I put my foot down. Actually, I leave her alone until she snaps out of it. Usually some time alone in her room will do the trick.

This really drives my husband crazy. He is Mr. Rational, and is always trying to figure out the "reason" why she's upset. I keep telling him there isn't always a logical reason! He just can't wrap his head around that. Poor man. He's all alone in a house with 3 females. :)

Yes, my 4 year old girl is doing the exact same thing. Overreacting to everything. One minute, sweet, pleasant, charming and calm. Next minute babyish screaming lunatic throwing herself on the floor. Bedtime last night was basically two hours of screaming and crying about everything from bath to toothbrush. The way I dealt with it last night is at one point I walked away, went into my room and closed the door while she had her fit. Mostly I was giving myself a "time out" because I could feel myself getting angry and I didn't want to do something rash. When she calmed down, I came out and we finished whatever we were doing. I asked "are you done crying?" and she said yes. Nothing more was said about it and she was fine. I guess she just needed to get it out of her system. This worked better than what I was doing before, which was trying to figure out what in the world was wrong, trying to talk rationally to her, etc. She's four. She probably doesn't even know why she's so upset. It is trying, though, I agree. Yet much of the time she is so sweet. It's like Jekyl and Hide. It's like that nursery rhyme "When she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid!" =)
I think it is a normal phase, i've heard of this from other moms. Good news for us, this too shall pass! And we love our girls no matter what! Best wishes.

My almost 4 year old son has this same thing at times. Yesterday he cried for 45 minutes because I wouldn't make him tomato soup. (long story...) I think it is just the age. It's not consistent, but man the days when he is like that, I just want to cry along with him! Just like you, I hope this is just a phase... :) Good luck!

Tell her to stop and warn her she will NOT get her own way from crying. Then ignore her, let her cry and do not give her whatever she wanted even after she stops. She wants a snack, she cries, you say no, she stops and you give it to her. This only teaches her that if she cries and then stops she will get her own way. SO whatever she cries for do not give her for the rest of the day or at least a couple of hours later. Its a female thing. My wonderful daughter used to go running up the stairs, wailing you hate me, everybody hates me. I didnt react and her snit fits lessened and then stopped..only to start again with UGH PMS.

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice as my daughter is not even 1 yet, but your title cracked me up. Thanks for making me smile today.

Good luck w/ your girl!