I Need to Vent and I Need Advice

My husband and I have gone thru something on a similar basis. His father was living w/ a lady who started out as a nice person. She and I had a disagreement because she was trying to pull rank on me. (I was active duty enlisted and she was the widow of an officer) I politely explained that she did not wear her husbands rank and had no authority over me. Needless to say, I have a temper and when she became irate, I went off. So the first time they saw our daughter was when she was about 2yrs. The ONLY reason they met her was b/c they were in town to bail Randy's sister out b/c she was losing her kids to CPS for neglect. We took the kids in through the foster home program. We were able to keep the kids for about 5 months when I got orders to another part of the country. We could not take the kids out of that states program, so they had to move to another home. She felt that we were abandoning the kids and that we were in the wrong. At that point they cut us off almost completely other that Randy managing to occasionally catching his dad on the phone/email. Then, when our son was born. They never even acknowledged his birth. We sent them several emails to let them know about him, but they never replied. We didn't know if they even cared until X-mas when they sent his gifts. Now we don't even get gifts for the kids. It really hurts not being able to see/talk his dad, but she has him so "protected" from us (including Randy's sister) that we have just accepted the fact that they will have to make the first step because we have done everything we could to make peace. You may have to do that also. Keep in touch with your dad and see if he can help you to stay in contact with your sisters. As for your step-mom, I agree that you should just give her the space she obviously wants/needs and accept the fact that you may never be able to get along with her. I hope that things get better for you and you get to see your dad/sisters more often.
Debi :-)

I know how you feel J.. When I was first pregnant with my first baby my whole family turn thier back on me. It was really hard but I survive and it made me strong. When I found myself without a place to live I went back to my mother house and asked to move back. Keep in mind I left on my own free will- I wasn't asked to move out I just did b/c I thought it would work out with this person. As it turn out he was not a good person and I was always myself and when I thought he was paying rent he was really spending it on other stuff. Okay so then my mother allowed me back into her home and things got better. Not b/c I said I did anything wrong but b/c I recognized MY mistakes. I pray and ask God to help me forgive everyone who hurt. When you have children it changes you.
Now I understand some of what my mother went thru. If you really want to make it work call your Dad and ask that ya'll(Adults only) go to dinner to discuss how you feel. Sit and talk. Communication is KEY. Try to express that you want and need them in your life. Let them know that you need their help in order to be able to achieve your dreams for you and your child. Let them know you don't want money you just want them to accept you and your child and you want their love and support. Your step-mother is dissappointed in you- that's to be expected if she wasn't there would be something wrong with that. She hurt you by kicking you out and IMHO was the wrong thing to do but you have learned and grown up by the choices you and her made.
Sorry so long...
Your sister are young and they don't understand the whole picture. They just know by talking to you they can get into trouble and maybe in the back of thier minds they feel like they might get kicked out too.
Good Luck
~L.

You did the right thing keeping your daughter, but I am sure you wouldn't go back on that decision now, even if you could. You are making some great decision for your life, going back to school, staying at home with your daughter as much as possible. That wonderful! If will do well for her development. You have to choose your battles, your Stepmother sounds like she is hung up on more than a few things. Forget her, love on your sister, and father but forget her. "Leave the ball in her court" so to speak. Offer her some "time" it's the best thing to heal things sometimes. The best thing for you now, is to learn from mistakes, not be told you are making them. Be polite and kind to her, reguardless what she says or does. Choose to forgive her. That releases her from your mind and allows God to work on her. If you hang on to her your tying his hands. Good luch and please do an update for everyone when things get better!

I can understand some what...when I got preggie with my first child was 27 finishing college ( and have not yet now). deciding to have my son instead of what my mom wanted. She made it almost impossiable to talk to her, and all but told me to leave. I soon moved in with my boyfriend and that was wierd at first because he ha a bachler's life style in his home. We have since assimulated our lives,married and gone on to have another child. I used to be so mad at my mom, because at the time did not know what to do. I only worked part time while going to school, so did not have any medical issurance. I had to get on medicaid and all that stuff. Some how wish mom would have been there instead of working against me. Even with my second son ( he was a repeat C section). I asked her to baby sit my elder boy and she agreed 3 months in advance only to bail at the last minute. then show up looking like she was dressed for the club

Then last year I turned 30.....I came to a certin realization. Your family is who you choose it to be, focus on making the best one you can for your child. Forgive those who have hurt you, and move on. Since then my life has been less about them ( though I try to include my extended family mom dad ect)

Maybe keep trying with your sisters, but as for your step mom...do not let her define who you are or influnce. Clearly she would have you think you are a dead beat and the truth is humans make mistakes...and if she can nnot love you for you then at least that is not your fault