A little background first...My son has acid reflux and takes Prevacid twice a day. This has contributed to a long list of sleeping, eating, and behavioral issues but sleep has always been our main concern. Since day one he has had sleep issues (short, if at all, naps, frequent waking,restless sleep, SCREAMING anywhere from 30 minutes-2 hours when put to sleep, overall low quality sleep). When he wakes up he almost always yawns, rubs his eyes, acts dopey, etc. so we know he is not getting quality sleep. We have seen a sleep psychologist and read a book (The Sleep Easy Solution), implemented the strategies, and things did improve for awhile (he went from getting 9 hours total sleep in a 24 hour period to 11 hours total sleep in a 24 hour period) but lately he has regressed.
We have a sleep routine, we put him to bed at the same time each night and for naps, we bathe him in the AM vs the PM because we were told baths are stimulating to babies who have sleep issues, he has a couple lovies in the crib with him, we have darkened his room so it is not too bright for naps, we do not feed him or get him out of his crib when he awakens at night, and we have to let him "cry it out" every night because he never, ever, just goes to sleep. If we get him out of his crib, even to change a diaper, he just starts all over with the SCREAMING and it takes that much longer for him to go back to sleep.
His gastric doctor (manages his reflux) says that the reflux is managed and that his issues are behavioral; he is not in pain. I have to agree but because the few times I have picked him up he stops SCREAMING immediately and seems quite content.
Any advice out there? Anything you can think of that we haven't? My husband and I are frustrated that our little guy, at 12 months old, is still having so many sleep issues. We are worried about his cognitive development.
Thanks so much!
Thank you to all for your responses and suggestions. We have had two doctor visits since I requested advice and found out that my son has 3 molars coming in so that would explain the sudden regression. The sleep specialist is going to check for an iron deficiency (she says restless sleep in babies is sometimes due to an iron deficiency). We meet with his gastric doctor in a few days and hopefully get more info regarding the current severity of his reflux. Overall, the doctors say we are doing what we can behaviorally (I failed to mention in my first post that he does sleep elevated due to the reflux and we use a white noise fan for his room in addition to all the other things I already listed! :) So, he may not ever be a great sleeper but they will help us investigate things from a medical viewpoint and we need to continue being consistent with a routine, etc. Thanks again and hopefully my little guy will improve his duration and quality of sleep over the next few months.
S.,
I've always heard that it takes 30 days to make or break a habit. All I can say it stick with it. My son still fights us at bed and nap and he's three. You just have to be consistant. Most of the time he doesn't test us, but every now and then he does and it's just the time that I would like to give in. I really think he knows that too. They are smart little guys.
First of all don't take your doctor's opinion as fact when it comes to whats bothering your child. My daughter had acid reflux too when she was younger. She never slept through the night until she was 14mths old. She had constant ear infections. My pedicaitrician and then ENT said it was behavior because she should have at least splet through the night a few times during those 14mths. I disagreed. I never let her cry it out and always got her. As soon as I picked her up she was fine too. Three days after she got tubes put in her ears she started sleeping through the night on her own. The fact is they were wrong. She wasn't sleeping because her ears hurt her and I was their to comfort her and be there for her. Yes it was hard not having sleep and working but she needed that. YOur son might be in pain from his stomack and you holding him comforts him. When my daughter was younger and had acid reflux that always comforted her. One of my friends said her daughter never slept through the night until 4 or 5 yrs old, she too had stomack problems and still sometimes does (she is 10 yrs old now). Until he can talk and tell you he is not in pain then I would assume he is. Something is waking him up at night. I always do what you know in your heart is best. I knew my daughter was in pain or discomfort. I knew something was waking her up. CHildren don't normally wake up for no reason. Crying it out might be an anwer to get them to fall asleep but once they are asleep they should stay asleep unless something is bothering them. My eldest had night terrors a few times. Good luck
Aside from the acid refulx and all - this is what our Dr. recommended for us and it has worked.
He said to feed our daughter her dinner (bottle)- then give her a bath - then read a book - then put her to bed awake. This was supposed to get her used to the routine and go to bed without it being associated with eating (we WERE doing bottle after bath and before bed). Put to bed awake so she wouldn't need the rocking. At 8 months he recommended this schedule. She was allowed one bottle during the night. She is 19 months now and the schedule is beautiful! Even before her bed time occasionally is she asking for NITE NITE! She occasionally gets up at night but now it's only due to teeth or if she is sick.
I wish you all the luck in the world because SLEEP is something WE ALL NEED! Poor little guy!
Our daughter used to scream for hours at night also - constantly wanting a bottle every two hours. It took 3 nights of cry it out with the new schedule and that's it!
Hi S.,
Don't forget about teething... he could be cutting molars or just other teeth, which very often wakes kiddos of this age and contributes a LOT to regression in good sleep habits. I would give him a small dose (check with his doc on weight and dosage) of motrin before bed... the long-acting 8 hour version (please buy generic... it's too expensive otherwise).
I think you're doing the right thing... all the way around. It's always a combination of things, I believe... b/c as soon as you get one thing mastered (the reflux), then teething or something else crops up. Bottom line... if you believe he's not in pain or has anything wrong, give him the motrin and see if you can gauge if his crying lessens over the usual 3-night, cry it out breaking point. The pain may not be coming from the reflux but something else.
Good luck! Stay strong I know how hard it is.. but you sound like you're doing an awesome job! I would be doing the same!
And I recommended to someone yesterday that even though it sounds crazy... turn the monitor down and just watch the lights while he cries it out... it's much more sane for you and still accomplishes the same result. I don't know many parents who can hang in there unless they hold each other down, when listening to their child scream for 15-120 minutes.
Write more anytime, let us now what happens! :)
K.
Well you are definitely on the right track with the routine and using a consistent method. As you know though, sleep issues don't solve themselves overnight since over-tiredness only makes it harder for kids to sleep. But congrats on getting those 2 more hours! I know it much be hard adding the acid reflux in there.
And though 11 hours is better than 9--he really needs about 13-15 hours.
I would suggest one more book to read--
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr Marc Weissbluth
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...
So many of the sleep technique books out there are based on and quote Dr. Weissbluth's research. It's a great companion book to whatever method you are using (in your case, The Sleep Easy Solution)
He actually suggests bringing a child's bedtime back to have them sleep better--as early as 6pm. OF course, you wouldn't start putting him to bed at 6pm right away if he goes to bed at 8, but would bring him back in 15 min increments. Of course, there is much, much, more information in the book than this. It's not the best read in the world--it reads more like a reference book than something you would read cover to cover, but I find it a valuable resource and still have looked back to it as my son has gone through different phases like dropping naps, etc.
S.,
sorry to hear of your little man's situation. You sound like a great mom and you've done your best to eliminate any controllable factors. Since he is not in pain....you are left to having his cry it out! I have five and it really stunk to do it...each one was different...but we truly train them by what we do or don't do and sometimes it takes longer! I had one that cried for hours as well....and finally got over it after two months of not getting him...just kept the routine! Others cried ten minutes! Strange...but we are all different! It hurts your heart to hear it but its the right thing. Going and getting him each time, only trains him to cry for that period of time and eventually mom or dad comes in! You are doing the right thing...just let time pass....it will definitely pass and he will grow out of it! By your example!
Hi, S.,
You might try reading the "On Becoming Babywise" series by Gary Ezzo. He recommends a schedule of feeding, wake time and naps during the day to regulate baby's sleep at night.
Babywise has worked for us! Our daughter was sleeping through the night uninterrupted at 8 weeks of age. She's now sleeping from 9pm to 9am with one breastfeeding session at 5:30am. She'll be three-months-old this Friday.
He has a whole series of the books from infants up through teens.
Some critics say his teachings are controversial. Maybe so. Still, they may be worth the reading time for you.
Couple of things come to mind-he is right at the age where even if they have been sleeping like dreams they are more aware of their surroundings and the goings on in the house and begin to wake at night at this age to see what's going on and what they are missing-very normal! Just something he has to work thru. My son was a champion sleeper till he hit about 12 months and then for about 6-8 weeks he would wake and didn't want to go back to sleep. It passed. Just be patient.
Also, reflux can be painful and it may very well be waking him up and of course he stops crying when you pick him up because you are a source of comfort. The doc may feel it's controlled but your little guy has no way of telling him that it is. My son also had reflux but he was much younger.
Do you guys have one of these in his crib:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2401848
It fits snuggly under the sheet and is the width of the crib. Being slightly elevated at night may help if he is having reflux problems at night.
You may try changing his bedtime routine. Try a warm, relaxing bath-meaning no toys in the tub that he can play with and get excited about and then go about the rest of the routine, soft music or white noise were/are very helpful with my little one.
Hi Shelley,
I just want to share my story in case it helps. My son had reflux and was on Zantac as an infant. He also had trouble with always being very congested - both of which contributed to his sleep issues (he was never a good napper either). At four months old, he had never slept longer than a two hour stretch at night. He would wake sounding congested, I would steam him, suction his nose, feed him, rock him, etc. At his four month check-up our pediatrician said it was time to get him to sleep through the night. He suggested Dr. Ferber's method (also known as "cry it out")and gave me a handout and explained what I needed to do. He said it would likely take about a week and then he would be sleeping through the night.
WELL...I let him cry every night when I put him to bed and every time he woke up (There is a method to it, so it's not cruel and you don't just shut the door and let them cry all night. And, no more night time diaper changes.)
And cry he did! After three weeks, it still had not worked, so I gave up and he went back to getting him, feeding him, comfoting him EVERY TWO HOURS (I was also working full-time, so needless to say, I was a sleep-deprived mess.)
Then, at his six month check-up, the ped. was dismayed that he still was not sleeping through the night and pretty much "insisted" that we try again and not give up becasue he feels sleeping through the night is crucial for a child's well being and development. He said even with the congestion, my son could learn to sleep through it. So, I tried again. One week...four weeks...six weeks. He started sleeping longer around week four, by week six was waking only once a night, and after eight weeks he was sleeping for 12 hours straight. That was almost seven months ago and he has been slepign ever since. He still onlly naps for 30-45 minutes during the day, but with his 12 hours at night, that is enough for him.
My point is, every baby is different and some don't respond as quickly as the "normal" baby. For my son it took two whole months. My suggestion is to follow the program you choose (Ferber, Sleep Easy, etc.) to a T and keep it up until it works. I know it can be difficult, but hang in there and stick with the program.
Since your son's reflux is managed by Prevacid, I would agree with your doctor that he is not in pain.
My 2.5 year old also had a sleep problem recently and we took a different approach becasue he is older, verbal, and not in a crib. But with your little guy being only 12 months, he is still at a good age for a program like the Ferber method, or whichever method you are comfortable with.
I have a now-21 month old daughter who ALSO had reflux (but she had silent reflux...so all the pain and none of the spitting up so it went undiagnosed for her first 2 miserable months of life).
Anyway, she didn't sleep for long stretches at night until she was 12 months old either. But she WOULD take several naps during the day, so she WAS getting more sleep than 9 hours within 24 hours. A couple of things that I discovered:
1)The long bouts of crying it out exacerbated her reflux. She slept better if I rocked her.
2)We got a bedtime routine that we followed to a T...we do baths at night and don't find it stimulates her-quite the opposite but that's something you'll have to figure out for yourself and do what works for you little guy.
3)We found that we had to alter her reflux meds several times, because according to our pedi, their bodies can adjust to certain meds making them ineffective.
4)She went through "separation anxiety" at about 12 months, so it became a bit more difficult to put her to sleep and leave the room without her becoming upset at 12 months and then again at 18 months.
What time are you putting him to bed? Keep an eye on his behavior in the evening and instead of watching the clock as to what might be his bedtime-watch HIM. I found that my daughters (both the older and the baby) need REALLY early bedtimes. I was waiting until 8:30-9pm to put them to bed when they were babies, when they really needed to be put down no later than 7pm. Even my 7 year old still goes to bed by 8pm now and sleeps 10 hours straight. The younger one goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps 12 hours straight (with a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day).
I also discovered that getting a good nap routine established FIRST helped with getting her to sleep well at night. Sleep begets sleep is what I've always read and been told. It goes against what I always thought was common sense (which was that if you wore them out during the day they would be exhausted and sleep really well at night. That NEVER happens for me-when my kids get good naps they sleep better at night.
Good luck! I know how hard it can be!
White noise sound machine! Mine have that and a glow worm in their bed. They know how to push the worm to make him light up and play music if they're not quite ready to sleep. The background noise drowns out any household or outside noises and lulls them to sleep.
And don't go back in once you put him to bed. Do your routine, lay him down and leave the room. Close the door. Let him work it out.
When my 1 yr old gets fussy, I ask him if he's ready to go night night. He will either shake his head no or repeat night night. That's easy to say and he knows that he's going to his crib. There is no fight there. At 1, they are old enough to understand when you say what's happening.
Luckily, it does get better with time. Hang in there and keep trying. He will eventually learn to sleep... hopefully! :o)
