I Need help...and More Sleep!

A silky blankey. Keep up with the letting her cry it out. She may have to relearn how to fall asleep on her own.

Hey K.. You sound a lot like me. I am a mother of 3 and went through an almost identicle situation just a month or so ago. My son was about to stop nursing too and that was always my method of getting him calmed because he never took a binky either. We also went out of town and all the family were in one room so I got up with him a lot. He was stubborn about it too, would cry for so long! I was just so determined, though, to stick it out because I fantasized about sleeping through the night! I just let him cry but would go in his room every 20-30 mins but would never pick him up and only stayed in there for a minute or so even if he was still crying. It took about a week or so and even still once in a while he wakes up in the night but over all I'm getting a lot more sleep. I'm sure you have heard this advice before. I think the most important thing is to be consistant. Keep plugging away, night after night, never giving in and your sweety will learn. It's probably harder on you than the baby. Also if you haven't yet, ask your pediatrician for advice. I know mine always was at least relly supportive and gave me a lot of hope. He helped diffuse the stress of the situation too. Good luck! Know you are not alone! It is so tough to go without sleep. You can do it! Hang in there!

OK, first of all, don't feel guilty about any of these messages about 'don't let your baby cry..' You're checking on them, they know you care, and this is a special circumstance that you need to remedy so it's not lasting too long.

When you get out of your normal routine, this will happen, so your daughter's schedule will eventually get back to normal. Having 2 stubborn kids myself (ahem...perfect angels) I know that it can be difficult to take a firm position on bedtime/nighttime but I have found that consistency is best.

She's used to sleeping through the night, and just needs a little time to readjust to it again after all the excitement. If you go in and comfort her constantly, whether its out of love or guilt, she'll expect it, which is why this can last longer than it needs to. Nursing especially is extra comforting to her, and of course she is going to prefer this if its offered. When we allow our kids the freedom to call us all hours they come to expect it. ;)

First I want to tell you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable to get your daughter to sleep through the night, whether its go in and comfort her or to let her cry. Eventually, I think that the old routine is bound to come back. If you're not okay with it (you fall asleep while driving) then it probably wouldn't take more than a few days of a closed door policy to let her get back to sleep. All the 'never let your kids cry' moms will be out for me, but I'll tell you, if you comfort your kids within reason and leave them alone within reason, they sleep through the night.

(Just a note: there could be another reason why she's crying that may be difficult to tell since there has been a change in schedule. She may be teething and in pain, going through a growth spurt, or just entering a clingy phase due to more family being around (aka learning that the world does not equal mom) so keep that in mind when you are distinguishing her cries. )

On nursing, you are tired of the long year of breastfeeding and you want to be done, but after this situation it's probably best to wait until things have calmed down. Weaning is something you've done with 3 kids, so I assume you use sippies by 1 year, so maybe if you offer a sippy of water for comfort and rub her head for a few minutes while she drinks, say 'night-night' and leave, she will accept it over nursing. Feel free to email me...if you agree and want to chat. I had a HORRIBLE sleeper-turned-slumberbug from consistency...

Cry it out is definitely a NO-NO. How would you like to be upset about something, regardless of what it is, crying in the middle of the sidewalk and NOBODY stops to see what is wrong?
Essentially, that is what the cry-it-out method is and it can be damaging to your child, not only emotionally but physically as well.

If you're sure that it's not teething or something physical, my suggestion is to help her transition herself. It may take a while before she's ready to do it, seeing as she just went through an illness and then you were on vacation, but keep up with the nursing for a little while and then try giving her a bottle with milk or water in it. If she's got a favorite toy, regardless of what it is, let her have it in the crib to keep herself comfortable.

Most of all, good luck.

I do not believe in letting an infant cry it out, they wake for a reason, we may not always get why they wake up, but thier is always a reason, my Q would be is she teething? Some tylenol at night just before bed could help with the problem. Is she in a growing spurt? If so she may require more food even at night, try giving her a "snack" just before you lay her down at night. Is she getting to much sleep during the day? You may need to cut back on the amount of nap time she is taking, I always do w/ my little ones at about that age. Any time a childs shedule gets messed w/ ie, a cold, traveling, ect, it can take some time to get them back into a normal routine, There are some good techniques out there that don't require a baby crying it out..

This is an excerpt from a really good book on the topic,
http://www.lovegevity.com/parenting/mother/baby_wakes.html

And here is the book....
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/reviews/parenting_books/no...

Give them a look and see if they could help you.

If your like me the idea of sleeping through the night sounds like a pipe dream.
My son is still nursing at 16 months and used to wake-up at midnight, 2 a.m., 4 a.m., and 6 a.m. and the only way to get him back to sleep was to go into the room and smooth him. Sometimes he would demand to nurse and other times he just wanted me to pat his back. Crying it out didn't work for him, my husband, or me. He also takes after his father and is stubborn. He would cry to 2-3 hours without letting up. He does use a nuk, but that did not seem to help him self-sooth back to sleep.
We found that giving him a filling snack and milk before bed helped. He usually has mini wheats, graham crackers, raisins or fruit and 4-6 ounces of milk around 8-8:30 p.m. We then brush his teeth, read a few books and give goodnight hugs and kisses. He then goes to bed around 9 p.m. He still wakes up at 4 a.m. to nurse, but then crashes till 8 a.m. I've made my peace with the 4 a.m. wake-up. Eventually I am hoping he will wean himself off of that nursing, but I will let him decide that.
Another tool I used was giving him a bottle or sippy cup of whole milk instead of taking him out of his crib to nurse. At first he would take it then he slowly started to push it away and go back to sleep. He decided that if he couldn't nurse that he would just go back to sleep.
Hope your dream of sleep comes true soon. Good luck!

It sounds like you have been through so many transitions lately weaning may not be a good idea right now. She may become even more difficult.
What time is she going to bed? maybe she is staying up too late and then wakes up because she is tired. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but putting them to bed earlier helps them sleep better and longer.
My son went through that stage of crying for very long periods of time. Unfortunately, the only way to get him to stop was to let him do it. I think it lasted one week. It felt like forever!

My daighter who is now almost 2 did the same thing at that age. They said it was because she was on the brink of learning a new skill (walking) The thing that worked for me was letting her cry in expanding incraments. Like the first time go in after 10 min lay her down give her a sippey cup of water and cover her up and say goodnight. Next time go in after 20 minutes lay her down cover her up but do not say anything after that you keep doubling your time, 40minutes etc, Hopefully it will be done by then. For my daughter this was a 3 week phase that thankfully went away. Good Luck!

My little girl was also a really good sleeper until we went on vacation where grandma and grandpa would put her completely asleep before putting her down in her crib. She forgot how to put herself to sleep. When we got back she would get really upset when we would put her down like we always did before. she had to re-learn to back down to sleep. We did do the cry it out method and it took a couple of weeks for her to get back on track. She would too cry for hours and wake up really easily and start to cry again. Try and find something she likes that is comforting, we played some calming music and a fan in the room so that once she did fall asleep she wouldnt wake up as easily. She will get it again but it will take a lot of patience and some more time.

When I read your post, it was like reading the story of my nights with my daughter! When she was about 7-months old I tried the cry-it-out method (which worked with my son in 3 days) and after a week of her crying for 2 or more hours I just couldn't take it. So I went back to nursing her (about 5 minutes, tops). When she was about 10-months old, I decided that was it and instead of nursing her, I would give her a bottle of formula. After a week, I changed the formula to water. After about a week of that, she decided she didn't want water and would push the bottle away and I'd tell her to go back to sleep and she finally started sleeping through the night. You might want to try giving her water in a sippy cup instead of nursing. It is hard to listen to them cry, but it's hard to be a good mother without sleep, too. I hope she cooperates soon! :-)

I am so sorry. I know what your going through. My son is almost 15 months old and still has a few bad nights but he was never a good sleeper. If you want her to try to take a pacifier try playing a game with it during the day to make her want to take it from you that is what we had to do with our son. And it works well and he's not addicted to it either he'll go all day and most nights with out it but it will always be in his crib for him when he needs it and he'll reach for it and calm himself down most of the time. Also, I just started doing baby massage just a downward motion down the back legs and feet. sounds weird I know but it's very much worth it calms him down and only take maybe a minute. Hope this helps...

Try The Delta Sleep System to help her get back to sleep. This is soothing music and worked most of the time with my worst sleeper. Then, all you'll have to do is turn it on and go back to bed! I hope this works for you!

Amazon.com: Delta Sleep System: Music: Dr. Jeffrey D. Thompson

Dear K.,
I'm know I'm not a expert but I thought I would atleast give it a shot :) Ever sence my son had the croup when he was up all night every night! I was told to open his bedroom window or to use a cool air humidifier. A few weeks later I noticed he would wake up screaming every night and I couldn't get him to go back to bed! I found out that babys have night terrors. There horriable night mares that causes them to be afraid of the dark! All I had him do was watch his favorite movie intell he went to bed...(so he has his friends on his mind while he is sleeping!) I haven't had any problems sence! And I get...well atleast alot more sleep then I did in the past!

I hope this can help you and I wish you the best of luck!

K.,

I have a thought. Since you mentioned that your daughter doesn't like her bed any more, maybe do something to change that. Such as new pillow or blanket of a character she really likes, anything that would be hers for night night, and she only gets it when she is in bed. You don't want to reward crying, but encouragement and creating a desire for her to be in her bed might be worth a shot.

Just my two cents.
Trudi

K.,
sorry if you already got the same advice from someone else, but I didn't have time to read the other responses. I just had a similar situation with my 13-months-old. He was sleeping through the night until recently and our routine was to give him his last bottle before bathtime. When we switched to milk I tried to get him to give up bottles altogether, but he would just scream when it was time to go to sleep or wake up after a couple of hours and all we could do to comfort him was to give him a bottle of warm milk. He started daycare around the same time and got sick right away, so there was a lot going on for him. So, we changed our routine to a bottle of milk right before bedtime and when he'd wake up in the middle of the night we would give him another bottle of warm milk because it seemed to comfort him. Well, to make a long story short, it quickly became a routine and he started to expect that bottle of milk when he woke up during the night and we got little sleep. So I just went back to giving him his bottle before bathtime for the last two nights and he did not wake up once! It is something about them going to sleep with or shortly after drinking / nursing that they will expect to continue to eat if they wake up during the night, which most kids will.

Now, I will say that he was going to sleep like a little angel when he was getting his bottle right before bedtime. He'd still be awake but I could lay him in his crib and walk out of the room and he would not fuss at all. Now that we have changed the routin again, he will cry for a few minutes when I put him in his crib. Just keep in mind that change is always hard, so pick advice you feel is best for you and your daughter and give it at least a few days before moving onto something else.

Good luck!
Nicole