To the Crib!

Try giving her a shirt or something that smells like you to sleep with. I gave my daughter a stinky shirt that I had worn all day, and it seemed to help quiet her down. She sleeps pretty well now as long as she has a shirt that smells like me.

I used the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby...I can't remember who it's by. My sister-in-law used it and I was always amazed at how happily her kids went to bed. The author (a Dr. in NY) gives step by step instructions for putting babies to bed in their cribs after they've been in bed with the parents. Look for it in the library and you can go straight to the 9 month old section. Good luck

That's what bassinets are for. A bassinet is small enough to have next to you, so when you put baby down in it, she gets used to sleeping on her own. Then, when you're no longer breastfeeding every few hours, it makes the transition to a crib much easier. That's how I got my 3 kids to transition from my bed to their bed. That way, when they get you up, they are right next to you and they don't feel alone. Then when the after a while are able to sleep through the night in a bassinet, that's when you can start puttin them in a crib.

Hello C.,

it all depends on your parenting philosophy.
I will not let my baby cry by herself, so here are a few gentle recommendations:
- if you can put the crib in your room, he can still be close but in his own bed
- be persistent, I nurse our 10 months old to sleep and put her in her crib, if she wakes up in the process, I take her back out, nurse or rock, back to the crib, repeat until he stays asleep.

Usually she stays asleep on the first try, but in the beginning it took a couple of transitioning attempts. She does not go to bed drowsy (maybe your baby will, though), I go by Dr. Sears rec and watch for the limp limb stage before I lay her down.

I also tend to her waking as soon as I hear her, I do not wait until she goes into a meltdown calling for me. This way she goes back to sleep easily when she wakes for her midnight snack (usually once or twice a night).

Remind yourself that whatever approach you try, it is a process that needs time and expect to loose more sleep over it in the first weeks, until you have settled into your new routine. There are no quick fix solutions.
Good luck.

I would start the transition by nursing her in her room, and not in your bed. Once she becomes familiar with her surroundings, she may be better about being placed in her crib. And then maybe you can work towards nursing her before bedtime, and not during the night. Good luck!

Oh, good luck! I stopped nursing at 9 months but my son still slept with us and we held him till he was asleep. He got to the point where we couldn't even lay him down in our bed and leave the room without him freaking out. At this point I knew I had to do something. I tried a million methods but I found that some things that were pivotal were:
1. Talking to him as we were getting ready for bed about what I expected, "Mommy is going to read you a story and you are going to have a bottle then lay down in your COZY bed. You are going to listen to your beautiful music (we have a baby classical music CD we play each night) and go to sleep without crying. you are going to be so cozy you are going to sleep all night in your cozy bed"

2. Laying him down before he was asleep. This way they don't feel duped.

3. Be strong. There will be tears. Go down the first time and give them hugs and tell them they are going a great job. go down a second time, lay them down and give them a pat. 3rd time, just lay them back down and walk out of the room, no eye contact, no words. You might have to start the music again.

My guy is very stubborn but once he got it he now goes to be soooo easy and sleeps all night in his "cozy bed". It is wonderful and we are all happier. He does come into bed with us when he wakes up just for a cuddle but then we all get up.

It was not easy and my husband had a very hard time putting up with the crying but in the long run it was for the best.

We transitioned our son at 5 months and we could not have done it without the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Wiesbluth (spelling?) Great sleeping book for all ages based on scientific research.

Sorry if i'm repeating some one else, but, my suggestion is to try nursing while sitting in a chair, and then transferring baby.

This has the following advantages:
1) it doesn't put pressure on either of your shoulders.
2) the cradle hold that you'd have your baby in (probably) is easy to stand up with and then lower baby into crib/bassinet/onto bed.
3) As time goes on your are less likely to nurse for small intervals, because you've made the effort to get up - you get up to do a real feeding, more likely, and leave the little fusses not to be nursed.
4) It helps the baby learn how to sleep by themselves, because nursing starts to become separated from being in bed.

One thing that helped me in the transition was to take babysteps. I sat up in bed to nurse, and then put the baby down next to me, and then lay down. Then i put the baby into a bassinet right next to us. Then it really wasn't so much to put the baby into a crib instead of a bassinet.

As to the shoulder pain - can you slightly adjust your positions so that you are not putting so much pressure on your shoulder? If i put baby closer to my waist then my head my arm can be in a more natural position.

I used the book "No Cry Sleep Solution." It talks about establishing a routine that leads to him being in his own bed. Even though I established the routine, there was some hysterical crying when he figured out he wasn't sleeping with Mommy. The first week was awful, but we stuck to the routine, and I kept going in to comfort him. Now he goes to sleep in his own bed and only pitches a fit if he's wound up or sick.

I don't know if I would do the same thing again. I think, if I could go back, I'd let him stay with me a little longer. He really felt like he needed that closeness, and frankly, I feel like he's a little less attached now.

Would a co-sleeper crib work for you? I had one that attached flush to the side of my bed, so all I had to do was gently scoot my son into it. He had his own space and I had mine, but all I had to do to nurse him at night was reach out to him next to me. The one thing I wonder about is whether a co-sleeper is still safe at your daughter's age - the sides are pretty low.

Another possibility (used with my daughter, and later my son) is for everybody to go to sleeping on futons on the floor for awhile. Again, this allowed me to have her next to me on her futon without having her with me. Since my daughter is a heat-seeking snuggler, she still ended up in with me a lot, but we all had more space for that to be comfortable. Since you can't fall off the floor, her being half on my futon half on hers didn't matter.

One of my best friends made her own co-sleeper crib by taking the side all the way off a regular crib, lowering the mattress all the way down, then setting her own mattress and box springs on the floor to make everything the same level and squishing everything flush with the wall to hold it all together so there are no dangerous gaps. I think she has also run a tether under the whole thing to anchor it. While this probably wouldn't make a safety expert happy (they tend to mistrust homemade solutions, and co-sleeping in general), it has worked for her through 4 babies.

I think that the toughest part of co-sleeping is finding a way out of the arrangement when it stops working for the grown-ups. Be patient with the transition - in my own experience, I found that it takes time to do it gently. In fact, it probably took us longer than many because I also nursed both of my kids well into toddlerhood. Both my kids were 3 when they finally went to sleeping solo, and even then, they frequently woke up and came seeking company. (From what I hear from non-co-sleepers, that is common in their households, too.)

We transitioned our son to his crib around eight months. We started by bringing the crib into our room. I would nurse him to sleep, or until he was almost asleep, and then place him in the crib. Sometimes he would turn over and go right to sleep. Other nights it was a bit of a struggle and he would fuss, etc. We aren't fans of the 'cry it out' method so one of us (me or my husband) was always in the room with him. Once he got used to sleeping in the crib next to our bed, we moved the crib to his own room. When we did that we worked really hard on establishing a nighttime routine that would signal to the baby it was time to go to sleep - dinner, light play, bath, nurse with lullaby music playing softly in the background, and reading from a book. We chose to read books that were really for older kids because it is hard to establish a good cadence to books like See Spot Run.

There are the occasional nights now when he wants extra parent time and requires a bit more assistance to get to sleep, but he's pretty good and we're quite happy with the transition.

It can be a bit challenging but you'll appreciate having your bed back. Good luck!

Hi C.
the age old problem. I had 8 sons and due to milk allergies I nursed all but one until they were 2 years old.
We slept with them and gradual put them in crib. I had the crib next to me as a couple of them had sleep apnea. and had to wake quickly. I started with putting them in crib for their afternoon naps. I use to play soft music in room. turned the light out. Then I would put them to bed earler then we went to bed. I nursed them and put them to bed even if they weren't asleep.
Turned the lights out. Hubby and I would just have to listen to him cry for a while eventually they will sleep in their crib.
I had one we would have to take him for a drive around the block and then leave him start sleeping in his car seat. I found out each one is different. I remember waking up one nite and two of the kids were in bed with my husband and me and a little voice said don't worry mom they are ok I have my blanket on the floor at the foot of the bed and will take care of them if they wake up. My 6 year old was sleeping on floor while the year old and four year old had crawled in bed.
I hope some one else can give you better advice I just had to muddle through it like all moms do.
Hope you find a solution,
Elnora

Hi C.,
We had to move our son at about the same age for similar reasons. For our son, he was waking up when I put him down in the crib. I realized I was taking him from a soft, cozy warm environment to a cool, crunchy one. I found a sheepskin fleece mattress cover that is especially for infants (so it is short pile). That did the trick. I think it was from Lawson, I ordered it online. He still sleeps on it at 22 months.
I think your daughter is too big for a co-sleeper right now. We did a co-sleeper for the for the first 7 months, then he was in our bed for 2 months, before we did the crib. We also kept the crib in our room for another 3 months.
Good luck!

I'd suggest having some kind of cosleeper arrangement or mattresses on the floor, so there's enough room for you to nurse her to sleep, covered by her own blankets, and then you can gently disengage from her and roll over into your own space, with your own blankets. Then when she wakes up during the night to nurse, you can roll back to her to nurse and and then roll back away again. I'm not sure why your shoulder hurts, there are several positions you could use for nursing lying down. Or maybe you need a different kind of mattress or more pillows so that you can be more comfortable. I really believe that cosleeping is best for children until they are at least 2 or 3 (mine were about 4 when they got their own beds - and they are now happy adults who cosleep with their children). And I believe it can definitely be done in a way that allows everyone to get enough sleep, sometimes it just takes trying out a few different things.

Hey C.!

We are experiencing the same thing right now with our 5 month old son. We had him in our room until about 4 weeks ago. We transitioned to the crib but that just made it harder on me because then I had to go in and nurse him back to sleep whenever he woke up (which happened to be every two hours). It was exhausting for me and the baby. I recently bought a sleep book (Dr. Ferber). I can't bear to listen to him cry, but we've already instituted a few of the tips and they seem to be helping. I don't know if your daughter is still nursing several times a night, but this may be part of the problem. She also has probably learned that she needs to be rocked in order for her to get to sleep. I think the book will be really helpful so you may want to check it out. I like his methods and he really explains it in terms I can relate to. This whole sleep thing is so frustrating and confusing!! Good luck to you, you're doing a great job:)

A.

I coslept with my first son until he was 11 months, often with him attached to my breast much of the night (it sure took the baby weight off!) We tried to send him packing to his own room at 9 months, but he didn't seem to be ready. At 11 months he just wanted to get up in the bed and play - he was proud of his new skills. So then it was definitely time, and I don't remember it being very difficult at all to transition him. I did use a co-sleeper with both of my babies, which is a crib that has an open side that attaches to your bed. So then when you are done nursing you can just put baby in the co-sleeper, which is next to the bed, but allows you to have your own space. Good luck!