Hi T.,
I would love to talk to you about this. How old are you and hubby? How long did you know him before you married? Have you had problems all through the marriage? Tell us more about your situation.
From what you have said, I think that maybe some counseling might help both of you to get to the root of some of your issues with each other. Marriage is a very important institution that will benefit both of you and your children. However marriage takes a lot of work. Love is wonderful, but marriage is not held together by love only, it is held together by commitment of the two people. Both of you must be committed to the marriage and to each other for it to work.
Since I am a Christian my perspective is from Godly wisdom. I see marriage between a man and a woman, with God at the center of the relationship. When both are committed to each other and hold God in high esteem as the center of their relationship then it is more likely to succeed rather than a marriage that is held together by "love" only. Of course you must love each other but the key, here again, is commitment.
If hubby is not committed to you and the marriage, all the love in the world will not make it work.
Needy people tend to put themselves in relationships that "save" them. If you are needy then you are going into your relationship with a handicap. By needy I am talking about needing to have someone, needing financial support, needing to be "taken care of", feeling like they can't live without someone. When a person is not needy they are more apt to choose a husband because of other reasons -- this person is someone they want to love and care for, this person is someone they want to be in a committed relationship with for the rest of their life, this person is someone who they want to have fun with. Notice that I am talking about what you can do to enhance your husband's life, not what he can do for you. Good relationships are built on the desire to "give" to the other person.
I wish you the best. Please feel free to email me anytime. I will pray for you, T., and your husband.
Sincerely,
D.