I Feel Bad for Letting Him ''Cry It Out''

If he fell asleep he's fine. And from the way you word it, it doesn't sound like he cried forever before falling asleep. If hubby is so worried about it he should've made the effort to be home earlier to help you. It's HIS parents coming over after all. You did fine! Sometimes you just gotta get stuff done. MERRY CHRISTMAS :)

I know how stressful it can be to have lots of things to get done and no time to sit and read a story with a baby who wants to be held. One way I've gotten around this with my kids is the Ergo carrier. I popped the baby on my back - he was comfortable, I was comfortable AND I could cook, clean, do laundry etc. It's just a suggestion, if you're looking for alternatives - not here to judge.

Good luck with the in-laws visit and Merry Christmas!

if its 15 min or so i wouldn't worry about it. i always tried to comfort my crying son until i realized he just wanted to be left alone to sleep : O

You only have two arms, right?
I am a mother from well before there was a term known as "cry it out".
Unfortunately, I think the term has so many negative connotations that people actually believe letting a child cry for any reason or length of time will harm them in some way.

Some little kids cry and fuss no matter what you do because it's their way of getting things out before they crash and fall asleep.
That does not make them a bad kid and it doesn't make you a bad mother.
I have known women who honestly believe they can't take a shower because what if their kid cries while they are in their crib or playpen for 10 minutes.
Your husband shouldn't make you feel bad. It's not the end of the world if a child cries.
I don't see that you did anything wrong.

That's just my opinion.
For what it's worth, I raised two healthy and well adjusted children who didn't have to be on my hip 24 hours a day. And yes, sometimes they cried.
They weren't traumatized by it.

From your description, it sounds like you were between a rock and a hard place and had to let your kiddo cry because you didn't have enough hands. Heavens, we have all been there and we've all felt horrible about it.

Take a deep breath. This will NOT scar or have some huge adverse affect on your baby if this isn't a regular thing. Babies are resilient and one night of having to entertain himself isn't the worst thing. I'm a bit irked at your husband for making you feel bad, though. To get yourself ready to go out and have a fussy baby at hand-- I don't know HOW many mom's I've heard who have said "My baby won't let me" get ready/get dressed/take a shower.... Would your husband have been happier if your son was being held and carried but you weren't ready to go? Perhaps HE could try it sometime.

i believe you love your child and did what you felt was right at the time. shame on your husband (or anyone else)for making you feel bad about it. Maybe he would have handled it differently, maybe he would have taken the time to soothe the fussy boy for an hour until he fell asleep and met the dinner guest with curlers in his hair and wearing nothing but panty hose, but guess what HE WASN'T THERE! so what he thinks is "right" doesn't really matter a lot. If you were hurting your child or causing him harm by neglect then my answer would be different. As it stands I think you know in your heart if what you did was "right" or not and you shouldn't feel but for doing what you think is best.

it happens ... do not feel bad ... I do not think he is too young if that is the method you are looking to use.

It happens! Give yourself a break! Sometimes you do what you have to, and there are times where kids dont want to do anything BUT cry. Especially when they are so tired and dont want to take a nap. He isnt traumatized and wont remember it even happening 5 minutes from now. Take a breath and know everything will be just fine :)

Have a great time and dont worry what your hubs says, what does HE know? ;)

Hugs!!!

Children pick up on our stress and rushing around for something special so I would guess he was just out of sorts due to you having so much to do. Sometimes they just want you to hold them and calm them down some but on the other hand often it doesn't work so he was not in pain, not neglected, you were not far from him so he will be fine. Crying it out does not hurt them unless it would go on for hours.

You tried everything and he was still fussy - probably bc he needed a nap. You did your best and then let him do what he needed to do. At this point by trying to console him you were probably keeping him from doing what his body was telling him he needed, so don't feel a bit bad.

With your husband not helping you, he has no business making you feel bad. Sometimes a mom has to do what a mom has to do. How would your husband feel if Christmas wasn't ready tomorrow? Or does he expect you to stay up all night while he sleeps?

If he acts like this normally, don't tell him stuff that you do that he will act like this about. And make him help you!

Dawn

i dont agree with doing this every day however in hectic times or if i was at my breaking point i would let my girls cry for a bit they survived

just stop worrying about it my mom did that to me when I was even younger than your little boy

He is still super young. I would have picked him up and tended to what he needed. Babies at that age are crying because they need something: love/cuddle, hungry, wet/poopy, tired,etc. Its best to meet their needs and not let them get to the point of be frantic.

Try not to feel bad--- you made the best decision you could at the time. Just saying for future.... he's too young.

M

He may or may not be too young... I don't think there's magic age. Generally, before 6 months is too young.

But, I wouldn't feel guilty for what you did. Obviously he was tired and needed to nap. I think that if he's used to being rocked to sleep and then one day you're too busy to do that, so you put him in his bed and let him cry, that's one thing. Anytime you randomly deviate from what kids are used to and expect and then go back and forth it's going to be problematic for them and you.

I'd work on trying to get him on a consistent schedule if he isn't already on one...

It is a myth that kids should never ever be left to cry. Sometimes kids cry. It's OK momma. My healthy happy three kids all did a bit of CIO before becoming the soundest, securest sleepers ever, and YES, occasionally (especially my daughter/third) had to be put down in a playpen while I did 75 other things at once home alone with two other kids under 4. Your husband does not need to make you feel this way. Now at 2 1/2, she's my most easily "self entertained". Unless you are neglecting your child by constantly ignoring him and letting him cry, the occasional crying will help him learn to sooth himself. 8 months is not tiny volatile infant stage, he needs to learn you can't always hold him or pick him up instantly. Don't feel bad.

sometimes they just need to learn to entertain themselves. I think CIO is only bad for real little ones or if their needs aren't being met. You can't keep baby from crying all the time. In that situation, I always try to comfort, play or whatever every few minutes so they don't feel ignored etc. Even if they need to sleep and they're older, if they're crying for more than a few minutes, I go in there to take care of them. They still cry and they also learn. I think you're fine. You child is definately ok with what you did. You did nothing wrong. Good luck!

I think that letting a child cry it out is one of the cruelest and unkind things a parent can do. This was not that. This was simply a one time thing that was a choice that had to be made.

The only other choice was to entertain him until hubby got home and could take him then you could quickly get ready. I would have done this too. I would have put the playpen in the room I was going to be in, turned the TV on to some cartoon, and given him some toys then talked to him or sang, enough for him to know I was there.

You didn't do anything wrong by letting him wear himself out for a few minutes. It is obvious he needed a nap and it may have been the only way he would have taken one.

How long did you leave him...5 minutes or an hour? Sounds like it was not very long and then he settled down. I am against the CIO method but honestly, sometimes we get busy and putting him in a safe place that he may not like and therefore cry about it is fine as long as it doesn't happen all the time. I know they say no TV for kids under 2, and that is true, but in these instances if you really feel conflicted, maybe you can put on a special education baby dvd for him?

If a baby is crying, it's because he needs something he isn't getting. What he needs is NOT more time to cry.

I would have done the same thing. Sometimes you have to do what you
have to do. Sounds like he was not going to be happy no matter what

Hello, Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Your baby might be teething. The pain might be hard for him to deal with. However, sometimes you just can't make them happy and have to let them try to work it out. I wouldn't let him cry for too long, though.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

It sounds to me like your baby was tired - he was fed and changed, right? So, when people say that babies only cry because they need something, I agree, but sometimes what they "need" is just to be let to sleep.

I did cry it out and my kids are adult now and grew up loving me and are perfectly fine!! Do not let this ruin you day. I do not think we can always soothe our children, sometimes we just don't know what they want, or what they need, and neither do they. He was fed, he was dry, and you tried to soothe him, he needed to sleep. He was probably overtired. You did nothing wrong, you did not harm him in any way. We are human, we are not perfect, and you did what you had to do to get things done. I did cry it out because I was a stay at home mom and my daughter was up 4 or 5 times a night for 1 year for no reason. Out of total exhaustion and the fact that I had another child to care for when my daughter had just turned 1 when I did it. It was harder on me then it was on her, but I was like I said at my wits end. After 3 nights (each night getting shorter and shorter) she slept through the night. What a blessing. Enjoy your Christmas, do not feel guilty!! Oh and 8 months old is not too young. I waited until 1 and I think that was a poor decision. I had to be ready to do it. I believe the suggested age is no younger then 6 months old. Happy Holidays!!

I didn't have my kids CIO and they are both sound sleepers. But, it doesn't sound too bad in your case. He's an older baby at 8 mos. And it was only 20 minutes and he DID fall asleep, meaning he was tired. When mine weren't tired, they wouldn't fall asleep. So he probably needed it. I bet you never let him CIO and just feel stressed by it all and your hubby just makes it worse. He'll survive. If it was too stressful to you, I guess you would just want to be late to wherever you are going in the future to put him to sleep by rocking or whatever you usually do.