Hi R.-
A lot of the time, we are so busy running after our toddlers that we don't have time to do other things. I know it sounds wierd, but just keeping those little hands out of trouble is huge (and exhausting). You don't say how old your children are, or if you are still nursing. Are you up at night with one or both children? Are you letting hubby get all of his sleep, while you get none? or interrupted every hour on the hour? In that case, you will not be able to keep up. You are exhausted.
When my son was small, I thought that I would have a party. I invited one other couple for dinner. I made calzones. I was able to stay awake to make them, but not for dinner. Fell asleep with my face in my plate.
Take pre-natal vitamins, especially if you're nursing. Drink lots of water and milk. Eat peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches on whole wheat if you're getting too thin. Take a nap with your kids. Try to sleep when they sleep. Go to the Dr. & see if you might be depressed (be careful of medication if you are nursing). Having a child changes your life totally. Young children are more difficult than older ones, just because of the sleep patterns.
Child-proof the house so that you don't have to say 'no' all day long. It will give you some peace of mind. Laundry- do a load a day, first thing in the a.m. Fold it and put it away. Have any ironing done out. It ain't going to happen. Put dishes in the dishwasher as soon as they are used. Purchase (or use two stickies) to designate whether the dishwasher has clean or dirty dishes. Change the sticky from dirty to clean as soon as you begin the wash cycle. Wash at the same time(s) every day. Empty at the same time every day. Your children should be on a schedule, and so should you. Up at certain time, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, children's TV if that's appropriate, naps, etc. By the clock. Make sure that you get your showers and time in the bathroom. Sometimes, that's the only place you're free of sticky, clinging little hands. Allow a lot of freedom. Dirt will wash off. The floor does not have to be spotless- it's good for their immune systems to be challenged. Don't get uptight about the schedule- if it gets broken, it gets broken, but once they're on it, you'll pay when it gets broken. Small children enjoy predictability. See if you can exchange play day time or babysitting time with another mom who needs what you need- some time alone to finish what you begin. Do that about twice a week. Try for some other mom company or playgroup. A lot of times, the hospital where the child was born will have organized something like this.
The mail- Depends where the mail is. If you have to get it in the car, that is your husband's newest job, because it will take you at least 40 minutes just to get out of the house. (That was my average, and I only had one). When you are asked out, routinely write the time down half an hour to an hour before time so that you won't be too late. An hour if you have that happen. A lot of us don't plan for the huge amount of time in preparation to get kids up and running somewhere. If your husband can't do it, put it on your schedule- same time every day. Get rid of the grunge at the post office. Have a cute basket or carryall that everything else goes into, at a designated place in the house where the kids can't get to it. You'll get get good at getting that double stroller in and out of the car. Diapering times should be on a schedule except for accidents. If you don't have a diaper service, get one. It was the best shower present I got- it saved my life. List everything, especially if you are nursing on your little pad that you carry around. (My hormones ensured that I would be very compliant and brainless for the duration- that's the duration of the pregnancy and the nursing). Your cell and a little pad of paper should go everywhere with you. List everything that you are running low on/ need, etc. Then, organize your car trips or walking according to where you have to go. Go someplace every day. That should be in your schedule. One day, get the mail; one day, go to the park, one day go to play group, one day, go to supermarket, etc. If you manage to get playgroup more than once a week, put one or two of the other things on top of another. Your husband will need to help you pick up some of the slack.
Hope this helps. S.