I Any Older Mothers on Here?

I am an older M.....Grandma and even a Great Grandma!! I am 63 years old...my children are 44 (stepson)...36...30 and 28.
I don't remember ever thinking that financial situations were the reason for my being included OR excluded from a group of people...it is generally more along the lines of areas of interest, or something else that either makes a group gel or not gel.
Personally I would not WANT to be friends with a group of people who based their friendship upon how well off you were. IMO.

Oh, they may have more money than me but I am so very much richer. Honestly, I long ago learned that I don't want to have anything to do with anyone who judges people. It's an age thing, hard learned, I'm so much smarter now than I was before. I'm 55 with a 16 and 18 year old.

I have been snubbed for the exact opposite. I am a young M. and we are in the low income bracket for our area. Many of these moms are older moms and upper middle class.

I am ok with it. The ones that judge dont seem happy. My kids and i are very happy, well adjusted people. We dont need anyones approval :)

I am 43, mother of four. 23 is the oldest and 10 is the youngest. So not sure if that qualifies me as an older M..

I would wonder why you assume the snubbing was due to financial impressions? I have found people that are not welcome into groups claim cliques and attribute reasons. Neither of these assertions tend to be accurate.

What I mean is say we were doing a fundraiser and we know one woman is very unreliable. For whatever reasons she likes to take on positions of power which also means we would have to rely on her to keep her area running properly. Heck yeah we will blow her off, we would vote in committee to keep her from positions where her failure impacts all of us. Say we all have money, she will claim we pushed her out because she doesn't have as much money as us because it is easier than accepting she has failed to live up to expectations enough that we don't want to risk it anymore.

Not sure if that makes sense but your questions seems strange to me.

Okay so after reading this answer you posted earlier today this makes a lot more sense.

"I love this question! I think it hits at the heart of what a lot of people think: that if you have more money than someone else, it's a sign God loves you more. But the interesting thing is, that doesn't explain the verses in 2 Cor. about the extreme poverty the Macedonian church was experiencing. Surely God loved them?

"1 And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. 2 In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. 3 For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, 4 they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. 5 And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us."

But what I'm finding, the older I get, is that illness and financial reverses can happen to snobby people. And it's interesting--I've had to deal with snobby football mothers and snobby women in the church's high school ministry where I also help-- some of the worst snobs it turns out, have less money than I do.

I got my feeling hurt again at church this morning. A super-snobby woman planted herself next to the person I was talking to, waiting to break into the conversation. She wasn't about to speak to me--wasn't even going to make eye contact! After she jumped in, I looked directly at her and said, "Jamie, how are you today?" She replied, but kept it curt. For Pete's sake!

So, I tell myself to let God deal with her and get His vengeance. I need to focus on being right with God and being the best I can be."

I am sorry you perceive people are snobby towards you but you need to work through this, with god or a therapist.

Yes, I have had that happen. How about when those same people suddenly want to become your friend when they find out that you have something or are connected to a certain person!

What do you mean by older mother - I am 45

My boys are 20 and 17.
The only time I was snubbed like that was when I was a kid. It's one reason I like going to reunions. I have more education, been more successful, have a wonderful family and, look much younger than most from my school --that's the best revenge!

I'm an older M. too. I just turned 50 and have 4 kids. 29, 26, 19 and 10. Plus 2 grandkids age 2 and 3. When I've been shut out of a group of people, I've always just shrugged it off and moved on, never gave it much thought. But I was an extremely shy and withdrawn child, very poor and from a single parent household when those were rare - so I think I've always been a bit of a loner with only a very small group of friends that were close enough to really care about how they treated me.

Always remember: People snubbing you for ANY reason, are not worth hanging around with. Ever since I was very young, I have ALWAYS befriended and respected women of ALL AGES, from the very elderly, to middle aged to "older ladies in their 30's" to my peers. Regardless of income. It was easy in NYC, because it was such a melting pot of interesting people of ALL TYPES. Everyone I know of quality, is the same way. I'm now 41, and I'm still the same way! I have "very old" friends, "older friends", peers, and "young" friends. Regardless of income. We live now in a non pretentious area, which helps. There is a snobby segment in the University section of a near-by town, but somehow we're "accepted". And as for the REAL SNOBS-who cares about them?

My kids are very young, so I'm in that "older M." bracket where my kids peers' parents are younger than me. But not cooler than me :) I don't mind, and as far as I know I'm not snubbed. And if I was-I wouldn't care! Anyone snubbing you is lame. Remember that. And sometimes, people have no idea of your financial status, they're just snubbing you. Even if they're broke, they can still be snobs. Or they think you're one. Or whatever their lame reasoning is. Cliques are bad news. I have a "group" of steady friends, and we don't treat anyone like that. Someone is always bringing in a new person for all of us to meet.

Don't sweat terrible people.

I am 29 so no, I'm not an older mother. But let me share with you, the older mother's give some of the best advice. You've been there, done that, and have a ton of experience to pull from. I heart the generation above mine. :)

I'm 40 and the mother of an 11 year old.

I don't think financial reasons are the only reasons people snub you. I would imagine people have many many reasons for not wanting someone in their "clique".

I also think EVERYONE at some point has had the experience of a group of people not including them. Just read the posts.... this starts around 2yo.

Yes. Afterwards we moved from a very modest house to one we paid cash for in a "country club" area. We did so for security reasons and because we needed a house that was big enough for wheelchairs.
Then some treated us differently, but I remember.

I consider myself to be an older mother - I will be 42 tomorrow, but my kids are 3 years old and 2 months old, so I have a ways to go before I have to deal with the empty nest stuff.

I'm an older M.....49, with 2 sons, age 15 & 24.

Cliques can come in any shape or size, financially or socially. In our little town, it's like incest. It's a sickness which breeds from generation to generation, rarely ever expanding beyond it's own borders/limitations. It is sooo sad to watch it begin at the preschool level & carry thru to the next generation.

It's one thing to embrace tradition, & completely something else when it is self-limiting & narrow in its approach towards life. We have lived in this town for 21 years now, & are still not "in" the inner circle. Nor do I wish to be. But I will admit it is so sad to watch newcomers try & fail to break the cycle....

& now for one very honest thought: your "much better off" comment was very off-putting, as other mothers also responded. Perhaps in some small way, your very own attitude is what is behind the snubbing? :)

I am an older M. and have been snubbed by younger moms so many times in so many situations. I've found that my financial status has not played into it. Like many of the other moms, I've found that in the end, the snobs are not people I would want to be friends with anyway. Those that have become my friends are not ones that are in cliques. They are more interested in true friendship, non-judgemental, accepting of all people. Don't waster your time with the cliques, there are plenty of awesome women out there!

What does the question about being snubbed have to do with being an older mother on here?

You know, I always thought that with the ripe old age of 45 would come more money etc. We do okay. I mean compared with being young and broke all the time, we are doing great. But, it's definitely not as easy or as smooth as I always thought it would be at this age.

Yes, I'm older. My kids are 27, 24, 21 and 11. My 24 year old will be 25 in April.

I haven't really been snubbed, but I've felt left out. I find that I'm about the "normal" age compared to the other moms when I'm around my oldest son's friends. He's 14. However, when I'm with my youngest son's friends and their moms, I'm old. I'm 41. I'm very happy being 41. :)

I am not an older M.......BUT my M. has always been an older M.. She had my older sister at 34 me at 36 and then my little sister at 44...So I have some experience with how she has dealt with things like this...

She has always been some one chasing the ''clique'' from behind..meaning she tried hard, but never got in....

I let out a sigh of relief when my little sister graduated from HS...Because for some reason I knew she would be able to feel not so ''not cool''.

When that day came...She did cool it. She just realized who her REAL friends were out side of the juvenile ''rat race to college''. She has since been able to make GREAT friends with some of the moms that did hang around through my sister i.e. her ex-high-school sweet hearts M......they have remained unawkwardly BEST FRIENDS even through a nasty break up...They actually used each other to get over the break up..which was GREAT for them because the kids had been together ALL four years of high school...so when the break up happened their family was OUR family.

I go at it like this...I am who I am. It can be very complex and awkward to watch from the outside. If you DONT like it, get over it or move on down the road.....If you like it...and my kooky sides....Then You will have my unconditional LOVE for life....Meaning I would do anything for you....I do not try and fake it with anyone any more..Life is too short to make things sugar coated and fake...

Do not let being snubbed effect how you live your life. Know who you are and love it....regardless of who does or does not like hanging around..You are the only one that has to be with you 24 hours a day:)

It ALWAYS has to do with money.

Even if it is someone who is a BEST friend....I get snubbed by my best friend all the time...and she has money. But it is because she can go out and do stuff...I cant I get the snub or as I now refer to it as the unvite because she knows I would only have to say NO. she is doing it to save me from the let down...But what she has not caught onto yet is there is no let down...I LOVE NOT being able to have money to go do stuff. Being poor, broke as a joke or how ever you want to call it is actually the richest thing I have ever OWNED.....Freeing for sure:)

Do not let money become a reason to feel snubbed..Some have it do not always assume everyone want it....Even if they act like it..I still have nice things...second hand or given to me...I look like We could have money because I care about myself....And I like sometimes feeling nice....If anyone ever tried to tell me I was 'acting better of then I was''.....I would laugh at them because I have not paid full price for any of it in over five years .

I like this question...even if I am not an ''older M.'':)