I Am So Tired of My Kids Fighting and Not Listening to Me.

I have some of that going on in my house, too, with 2 boys who are 8 and 5. They get along sometimes, then all of a sudden the 5 year old is stomping up the stairs and screaming at the 8 year old. Time away from each other is essential if you can find it. Since you are a stay at home mom, they probably don't have much of that. I am a teacher, so I am a SAHM in the summer, which is when the fighting started. They are better during the school year when they are not together all day.

Try doing something separate when your hubby is home - you take one, he takes the other. Something fun like a bike ride, swimming, getting ice cream...any diversion away. We do that around here when my husband has a day off.

I've made mine hold hands all the way home in a car ride to get them to shut up before. It usually works!

And don't feel bad about feeling like you want to just walk away. I feel that a lot, too, and I'm sure we aren't the only ones. Maybe you should! Get a babysitter and go away for the afternoon. Get a pedicure, read a book at the coffeehouse...Let them fight for someone else!

Good luck. I feel ya'!

I have not read what everyone else has suggested but I did want to tell you I read a Sibling Rivalry book and was pleased to learn this is normal behavior in children. The book explained different situations when you should intervene when your kids are fighting and when to let them work out their problems. I have two boys so their disagreements can become serious at times. I found the book helpful. Gook luck!

They may need time away. That saying. I have 4. mine are 8, 6, 3, and 1. The 6 year old went to camp this week. He loved it. He came home yesterday and before 30 minutes had elapsed the 8 year old has started and then the 3 year old. While he was gone there was no fighting. But the 8 and 3 year olds love to antagonize him. All I can think is that I am going to have to have separation time for them. Where that each one gets to do something on their own. Give the 6 year old time on the computer where the 2 year old can not do it. Give the kids separate times with you while the other plays alone in their room. Do not allow antagonizing.

These two books are invaluable:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081...

http://www.amazon.com/Kids-Are-Worth-Giving-Discipline/dp...

We are having the same issue. Be assured that this is a phase and it will pass! I know you have tried all the usual things such as time outs, sticker charts, etc. but are you consistent with them? That is really the key to making it work! I know I get lazy and dismiss the rules and routines occasionally and that is when chaos breaks out in our house. Those things really do work if you are consistent and the kids know you mean business. My kids know I mean business but it is another story with Dad!
There are times when I just have to lock myself in the bathroom and cry too! Try sitting down with your girls and making the rules and letting them help set the consequences for breaking these rules. You are still in charge here and can veto anything but this makes them feel like they have had some input and they will know what to expect. Make the rules/consequences very clear and then stick to it. Focus on positive reinforcement instead of punishment.
When all else fails, hand them over to Dad or a trusted relative and get out of there for awhile! There is no shame in admitting that you are at your breaking point and need to be YOU for awhile instead of MOM! Good luck!

C.,
I have read alot of Love and Logic. It is a parenting ideal from Jim Fay and his family from Colorado. They have alot of good ideas on how to deal with kids from birth through adulthood. Sometimes it just helps to know you are not alone. Mine aren't old enough yet to battle it out, but my sisters and I did growing up. Best of luck.
B.