Husband Still Makes Christmas list...anyone Else? :)

My mom died last year but I always made a list for her at her request, until I was 38! We still make lists for my MIL, and we're 40! It isn't about expecting everything on it, but it's just for ideas. My hubby and I give each other a list too! What's the harm?

My family has always used lists. I'm 40 and still make one ... if I don't, I get emails asking for it. It's SO helpful to know what everyone wants, especially since we don't live near each other anymore. It can also help clue in a spouse as to what you really want (although we often stray from each other's idea lists and come up with better ideas).

Both my DH and I do what you do. Mention something that we might want or need. But I just read this post to my DH (he just happened to be sitting right here) and he just chuckled and said "give the guy a break, maybe he just really likes Christmas" : )
I guess if she doesnt have a problem with it and he still wants to do it then who cares. lol

We don't make a list, but my mom does ask what we want. My husband usually says sneakers, work pants...she gets what he asks for. This year i asked my mom for bedding. She will probably get it. I know it takes the fun out of shopping and receiving. But, when it is the things that we need, i don't mind....and neither does she :)

OMG, I WISH my husband's family would accept a list, much less ask for one. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but after so many year of things we do not use or need I tried proposing lists to them and it was a total fail. I also tried giving them ideas for the kids, but they end up buying whatever they want anyway... also stuff that is too big or too small and/ or not age appropriate.

It depresses me because I know they have good intentions, but they are so far off from knowing what would be good gifts for us or the kids that I end up giving away most of what they give us... candles, jigsaw puzzles, smelly soaps other stuff that my husband probably did like 25 years ago.

I am all for the lists.

Maybe it's just a tradition they have. I don't think it's that big a deal.
I usually don't mention anything if someone asks me what I want, but this year, there are a couple things that are practical that I have said I'd like. Nothing big or expensive, but things from places I can't get to. I live in the middle of nowhere and I haven't even been to a Costco in years. So, yes, I have mentioned a couple of things, either for Christmas or my birthday. They're only nine days apart.
My friend's mother in law always makes a big deal out of the Christmas list and the funny thing is, she never gets him anything on it. So, he basically outsmarts her by giving her a list of things he DOESN'T want. If he says he wants cologne, she won't buy it. So, he says he wants it because he really doesn't. It's hilarious, actually.
He's 50, an only child and I can promise the Christmas list thing will go on as long as his mom is on this earth. It's just what they do and everyone is in on the "joke" but her. She's a perfectly nice woman, but why she fusses over a list and never buys anything on it is beyond us all.
Anyway, let him make his list if it makes them both happy. It could be worse. Just my opinion.

Best wishes.

My whole family still makes lists.
I know it's kind of wierd, BUT, I don't live with my 4 brothers their wives/girlfriends or their kids. I don't know what any of them want or need! We range from 21-34. My parents still make a list for us too! With all those boys you would never get what you want and they are like lost fools without a list.
I prefer the list. It helps me to know exactly what to get them, I know they want or need it, and with my nieces....I can get them something cool and KNOW they will be happy with it.
It's funny you asked this, I just sent out an email to my family asking them to send me their lists so I can "black Friday" shop this coming week!
L.
(I hope we are not the only family that does this!)

Um... no. No to all your questions.
My Hubby does not do that... but not even for me!
But well... lists do help.
I do that for my kids and family...

I cant get my 21 yr old to give me a list what is on his??? I need ideas :)

My hubby is 39 and his parents still ask us both for a list, the same for his brother and his wife. They are givers...it makes them feel good and enjoy celebrating Christmas with their kids...still...even at this age!

I know, it took me awhile to get used to it as well...my Mom is different, she asks us for 1 thing we want, then she either buys it for us or goes shopping with us to pick it out...I tend to ask my Mother for new bedding for my room ;)

I am 38 and my parents still ask me what I want (for my birthday and Christmas) so they are sure they get me something I will like, use and enjoy. As I think of something, I will jot it down or try to remember it. I usually give one or two ideas, but that's about it....not an actual "list." It is time to stop when people stop asking.

in my family, the list making is at the request of the "giver".... only!

Ha! My MIL always asks and no matter what you tell her, you never get it!
It is like a huge joke.. She does not realize or will say.. "Yes, I know he asked for that, but I did not think he needed that." or "He did not really want that.".

When I was still speaking with her she drove ME crazy asking what my husband and daughter wanted and what did I want.. NEVER got any of it. Used to make me mad.. now I do not have to deal with her..

All better..

My family still does lists, when asked. Sometimes we're close enough to other family members to be able to select gifts they'll really like without an questionnaire. Other times we just have to ask one another for ideas - or ask their spouses for ideas (sometimes that comes out funny). My children always need their dad to make a list, so he's gotten used to list-making. If he doesn't, he gets really ugly ties.

It seems to me that if you ask me what I'd like for Christmas, why shouldn't I tell you? Shouldn't I believe you when you say you'd like to know? And you're not obligated to give me what I ask for, after all. "Happy with whatever" is evidently an invitation to discontent; if it weren't, you wouldn't mind your husband not doing the same thing.

You might think about telling your husband, "Before making a list for your mama, make a list for me! Oh, and did I just hear you ask what your wife would like for Christmas?"

Okay, I've read a lot of the responses and although I can see the point of lists, I'm with you in not liking it. My husband's family does lists still and the kids are between 30 and 40. It's always bugged me. My problem with making a list is that is seems to go against what Christmas is really about. I feel like once I became a parent at least, it became what we did for the kids, not about what we want. I'd rather have family ask what the kids want and focus on them than me. Get me something small and inexpensive if you want, but it's more fun to give!! I have way more fun figuring out what the give people than making a list of all the stuff I want.

If I need help in giving, I do what someone else mentioned and ask a parent or spouse for ideas.

My other problem with the lists in my in-laws is they are all big-ticket items and then Christmas morning is all about whether they got everything on their lists (I mean the adults, not the kids). And no one has much money. Drives me crazy!

In one of my extended families -- ex-husband's family --
everyone makes a list and the lists get duplicated so everyone gets a copy. That way no one has to guess what anyone else wants.
Seems like a reasonable method to me.

"Wishlists" in my family are an iron clad tradition. EVERYONE from 2-98 does wishlists.

The things on the lists range from free (Burned Copy of TrueBlood, hand me down snow clothes) to the extravagant (leica rifle scope or nikon dx3). But mostly it's stuff in between. None of us ever expect our extravagant things... but these are WISH lists. And it's fun to get silly. For about 5 years I put A yacht and a rubber duck as my last two items. I finally griped that the YACHT I could understand... but why no ducky people??? And was swamped with ducks on my birthday. PLUS the extravagant things serve notice as to general interest. A 2k rifle scope ain't gonna happen... but a punch card to the range, or lessons in how to make your own rounds is doable. That camera costs as much as a car... but tons of other photo things are possible.

We separate out our lists typically by price and type. Books, music, artsy, giftcards, clothes, practical, ain't gonna happy but it's my list darn it and what if you win the lottery? You wouldn't know what to get me without it.

I love making my lists and I love getting everyone elses. It's better than window shopping. :) Plus they're useful. Okay Sis #2 wants EGG CUPS??? Who wants egg cups? Well she does, and look, here they are. Check. A titanium spork for cousin #3... SERIOUSLY??? I HAVE TO GET THE TITANIUM SPORK!!!! (text everyone to claim cousin's titanium spork is MINE to give).

The price range (free to ridiculous) means that there's always something for everyone.

my MIL still insist we all give her lists. We are almost all in our thirties. I do it because we have varying taste and its easier for her. I kind of think its silly, but she loves to spoil everyone. :)

My mom puts a family list up on the fridge every year - it has all our names on it w/several blank lines below! She wants ideas so she can get something that each person will like/use! (list has been up this year since about Halloween!)

My husband still does this too. lol In fact, we all do (3 boys + 3 wives) My mother in law makes everyone write down a list on Thanksgiving. She says she's rather get what we want than try to pick. But we do big Christmases, it would be different if we all only got one or two little things.

Another family of list believers! It took me awhile to come to see the value of the list but now I love it. In our family, lists are due by Nov 15th. Most of us keep a running list all year long. This has served very useful with everyone, especially the children. It's been a good way to teach delayed gratification. Plus it takes the guess work out of Christmas.

I say jump in on the list bandwagon. Don't knock it until you try it.

My in-laws always ask for lists, including from my husband (and he's 40!) I sometimes ask for ideas from people as well. I don't necessarily use it as the be-all-end-all. If I have ideas of my own, I'll get those, but sometimes it's nice to have the "back-up plan".

Yes, we all still make lists and are alot older than your hubby! Sometimes I love it (certainly makes shopping easier) and sometimes I can't stand it (takes all the "surprise" out of gift-giving) but it is what it is and it's never gonna change, so I just try to go with the flow :)

Nope... no adult wish listers in the family.
My mom will ask the kids what they want ... gift card, money or clothing... teens are harder to buy for.
I ask my teens to make me a list and this has been since they were little...anything can go on it. Santa will pick a big item and then things Santa thinks is needed or would be fun to have.
For me... I don't really need anything so I never make a list. I truly appreciate each gift I am given.

I think lists are great, and I give my mom one specifically because otherwise I never know what kind of crazy hot pink thing I'll end up with. I understand the annoyance over having a husband who still acts like a child, going to mommy for Christmas, but maybe enjoy that it takes some pressure off of you. I know that my husband is incredibly difficult to buy for and I wish someone else would take some of that burden. Perhaps you could suggest that he make a list to "Santa" or just a generic list for everyone to pull from. And he is only 30, they never do really seem to grow up. My husband is 43 going on 16.

Mom, I have no problem with this and not sure why you do? My parents always ask what each fmaily member would like including my husband and our teen daughter.I dont make a list but I give them some ideas for me and my family. My immediate family always asks too and we all make a short list but this doesnt mean that my gifts will be only those from my list. I ask my teen daughter for a list and my husband too and the same applies. I think some people prefer a list so they have choices that they know the receiver would really like, while others prefer to shop on their own w/ no list to pick out gifts for family members. Just wondering do you have an issue w/fact that his Mom does not ask for a list from you? You may tell your husband some things to suggest for you if she gives you a gift and do the same, ask her for some ideas for herself and his Dad. Some people are list makers and others are not, I would not criticize your husband or his mom for this. Hope this helps

OMG how I WISH everyone in my family would make lists!! I come from a family where people say things like "oh, I don't need anything this year.." (oh,yeah?! now I'll just spend HOURS trying to decode that) or "I'll be happy with anything you get me..." (really? how about last week's newspaper in a beautifully wrapped box?). I ALWAYS have running lists in my head of nice, inexpensive things I TRULY want, so when someone asks me, I straight out tell them (I'd LOVE one of those silicone spatulas and new measuring cups that collapse down, OOOH a bag of organic gourmet coffee would be awesome, I could REALLY use a gift card for Sephora, there's this GREAT tea strainer at Teavana...). SEE? I am the easiest person to shop for. People know EXACTLY what to get me and I'm always extremely happy with what I get! EVERYONE else in my family? Super difficult (kinda like you, Ms. "Happy with Whatever"), LOL! As far as your husband making a list for his mom, you should do the same for him, he for you, etc...it's a GREAT idea and will make everyone's life so much easier!

We do a list every year for each of us. Our families loves it. They would much prefer to give us something that we truly want or need. Highly recommend it.

I prefer lists and give one to my mom. Otherwise, I get another Knick-knack that just collects dust and where do you put another knick-knack?

Kids make lists for us and it is about what they want. They may not get it, but it is somewhere to start and maybe you find something similar, but not the same. You still enjoy giving and the person receiving will use it, rather than keep it in a box or give it to Goodwill.

I love list and I hope my children always do it. I actually use to go shopping with my mom and pick out some of my own gifts and she would still wrap them fo Christmas. Keep the lists coming! :)

My mom wishes I would give her a list. I simply tell them we don't need anything, but that if something small comes to mind, I give a call. I've probably told my mom and MIL 2 or 3 little ideas along the way. We really don't need anything, but I know they prefer to have ideas of what to give us.Not that we need them to give us stuff, but they want to so we try to make it a little easier.

Sometimes, we just do things to make our parents happy right? Maybe that's just what your husband is doing.

I think it's smart. I give lists of what I don't want for my daughter, no toys, candy, clothes, stuffed animals, dolls or action figures, make-up & candles. Some of the these things she has tons of & doesn't play with others I really don't want her to have at almost nine years.

What would I do without lists? Why make someone guess at what you want and have to go to the hassle (and maybe hurt feelings) of exchanges or returning? Both sides of our family exchange gifts, and on my side we have a family website where each daughter's family puts their lists. These are kept up year-round so we can check them when birthdays come around, too.

Personally, I don't understand the disdain for listing out what you would appreciate getting. The giver wants to give something you'll like, right? Why not make it easy?!

When I read this I wasn't reading that making the list was the problem, more like making the list for his Mom. So I'm not sure if it's the list that annoys you (which it seems everyone else is thinking) or if it's the fact he makes the list for his Mom that gets your goat? I'm focusing on the later. At least it's a different angle.
Sounds like the baby of the family. My husband’s parents would just hand over cash, usually several hundred dollars. Now that they are gone, he expects me to continue the tradition. Unfortunately, I enjoy spending the money on the kids instead, leaving him in a total tiff at times. Plus, I like to give gifts, not cash.
He was 46 when she passed; it won’t stop. She bought him socks, underwear, pants, whatever, when she was out shopping all the time, not just for Birthdays or Christmas. I thought to myself this was ridiculous, but kept my mouth shut because it was not hurting me (except the strain to my eyes from the constant rolling). And it gave her something to do; she was lonely and bored.
My experience with guys is, if you ask, they will tell. Ask her to share the list with you. If it’s a pricey item, you can go in on it together. My MIL appreciated this arrangement. In the end, it just really didn’t matter; at least he got what he wanted. She got to give, hubby got to receive AND I didn’t have to pull as much cash from my wallet.
If you can’t get her to share, try to make him tear the list in two and give you half.

We give my parents a list and I give one to my hubby, although sometimes we shop together for things for me. I would much rather get things I need than have people waste money buying something I don't need, want or will ever use. I also want to be sure I am spending my money wisely. I love to shop for Christmas but don't want to waste money! I love lists...

My hubby is turning 35 this December and he still makes a list for me and his family. Its so much easier to have ideas of what he really wants or could use. He doesn't get everything on the list and we do buy him stuff thats not on the list so there is somewhat of a suprise Christmas morning, but at least this way we know were getting him something he will use and not something that will collect dust and get put in the next garage sale or donated to the Goodwill.