Would You Let Your 7 Year Old Daughter.....

Updated on July 30, 2011
S.J. asks from Cherryville, MO
37 answers

Register at a store for her own birthday gifts for an upcoming birthday party?

A girlfriend I work with said she was at the store and saw a girl, couldn't be any older than 7, registering for her upcoming b day. I have a daughter close in age and thought about how I would feel if my own daughter wanted to do it (she just had a b day though, so it was just a thought). I really didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I also have a daughter who wouldn't want to do it anyway! I have always taught my children manners and class with regard to receiving gifts - ie always send thank yous, etc. My kids are just not really into presents that much. I mean, don't get me wrong, they like gifts and toys and such - they just would rather play with their friends than anything. They don't get too worked up over Christmas either. I guess they are "less materialistic" than the girl my friend saw! I thought it sounded kinda fun!!!

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So What Happened?

I guess I should clarify - this is not something I would let me own child do - none of my kids would want to anyway. I just don't think I would be offended if my child was to attend a party where a kid had made a registry. I would think "oh sweet - let's get "x" item on the list and be DONE, instead of spending 25 minutes in the aisle trying to decide if they would like "y"! =)

Featured Answers

L.B.

answers from New York on

No, because I think it is tacky to register for birthday gifts

Updated

No, because I think it is tacky to register for birthday gifts

5 moms found this helpful

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

No I think that is rude. A wish list would be totally different. Most family members ask us parents what the kids need/want any how.

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S.!.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have heard of Wish Lists.... I might do it. As a parent buying gifts for the friends it would be nice to know what the kid is interested in.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

No. But if a parent or child asked you/your daughter what she'd really like to have, I think it's ok to be specific.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think having kids register at such an early age will push them to beome more materialstic and i think its ssending thewrong message to our kids,

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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would and here is why:

Almost ALL of our family and many close friends live 10 or more hours away from us and doing so would be beneficial for all of us. I wouldn't have to worry about returning gifts that are too old or too young or not the right size or not appropriate, etc. or answering millions of calls and emails with a "wish list" each holiday/birthday.

Many of our close friends do not have kids and are actually quite clueless as to what to get and having somewhere to go with something to choose from would help them greatly and I know they would appreciate it.

Our family is just crazy and they often go overboard with indulging her with items that are not necessary or appropriate or that we even have the space for. It would be nice if they would have a list of items as well because it would really help my sanity and help my daughter not to be bombarded with a ridiculous amount of stuff. * Note that our family equates stuff with love...not something I want my daughter to learn, so that's the reason I would like family to stick to a list. *

I want her to steer away from the need to get gifts and the need to be spoiled and I actually think creating a list of a few items would help her see the need to pick and chose her wants/needs.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Scarlet,
I would let her do it. HOWEVER.... I would NOT include it with the invitation. I would only let a mom know if she asked you what your daughter wants for her birthday. Then.... I would mention a few ideas and say... "Oh, she had fun creating a "Birthday Wish List at _____________________ but please don't feel obligated to buy from her list. My SIL ASKED us to go online and do this at TOYS R US and my son had a great time doing it! Now.... no one else knew about the list because no one asked me what he wanted. I told him not to get too excited since his aunt was probably the only one that would look at his list. (Well.... I did, too and that's it.) I may let my twins register at Toys R Us in December since grandparents and family would probably love this idea for Christmas gifts.
I hope this helps!
-J.

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J.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

no, i think it is tacky

To me registering for any event is basically asking for a gift, which is rude. I can see it for a wedding, but anything else I think it is tacky, and for a child's birthday? Super tacky.

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S.H.

answers from Killeen on

My SIL lets my nephew make a wish list at walmart.com before Christmas and then she sends the link to everyone. I think it is pretty much the same thing. I probably wouldnt do it though. My daughter got invited to a birthday party this year where the little girl had made a list on the invitation of all of the "acceptable gifts". I thought it was pretty tacky but that is even a step beyond registering at the store.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

No...sorry, but that's uber-tacky...it's a 7 year old girl's birthday, not her wedding!

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G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

That's a great idea! For me, I would probably keep it within a certain price. :-) This will help prevent the possibility of parents buying the same gifts.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

NO!!!! I think its really tacky.

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

@ mamazita- Toys R Us allows you to make a wish list for bdays, Christmas as does Amazon.
@ S.-We were asked to do one for our son's first Christmas since we have a lot of family that live out of state and do a lot of on-line shopping. I don't think I would allow him to do one for a birthday though. I don't ever want someone to feel obligated to get my child anything or feel that they have to spend a certian amount for birthday/christmas I just want them to come to the party and have a good time. Some people might find them helpful tho.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

S.:

I'm sorry - I normally agree with you - however, I think registering for birthday gifts is a tad tacky....Weddings - yes...birthday's no.

Have her make a list - and give people the ideas should they ask...but over all, I personally wouldn't do it!

I'm sorry!!! how'd your evaluation go?

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I actually think it's pretty tacky to register for a birthday gift. Even wish lists are pretty tacky to me. The only reason they are ok would be for a baby shower (because you need things for the baby) or for a wedding (and only if it's a 1st wedding and you don't live together, so you would need things for your home). I would never let my kids register for their birthday

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

NO way would I allow my 16 yr old to register anywhere. That's tacky in my opinion.

She'll register IF she chooses for wedding and baby shower ( note not plural) only.

Etiquette prevails here.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

What store has a child birthday registry?

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

No, it is tacky. And at 7, I feel like that would set an expectation that the child will be receiving many of these gifts, a slippery slope towards a sense of entitlement. I want my kids to learn that gifts come from the heart, it's the thought that counts, and to be grateful for whatever they receive if anything. Where is the joy and fun of surprising someone or getting surprised when you just use a registry? Birthdays and Christmas for that matter are not about arranging for people to give you what you ask them to give you. And who's to decide what is the appropriate price point? If your kid receives a few gifts he or she isn't fond of or has already, so what? Exchange it or donate it. I can't believe parents think a kid's collection of toys and stuff is so important a registry should be used. Nothing wrong with asking the birthday kid's parents for some hints and ideas, but the kids should be surprised by any gifts, in my opinion.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Nah, do it online, less chance they will nag you to buy something. :p

Seriously, why not? If they don't like what they get they have no one to blame but themselves. It also makes it so much easier when someone is buying for them. What I don't do is put a notice in the invite. Instead if someone asks what they want I say they registered at, well for us, Toys r Us. Thing is they can pull up the registry online and then look for it cheaper somewhere else. Yes, I use Toys r Us for my needs, not their profit. :p

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it's very funny that if it's a "wish list" it's OK, but if it's a "registry" then it's rude and tacky. I actually responded the same way, "ew, NO" but then read some responses and thought about wish lists and how as a kid I went through the giant Sears Catalog and circled everything I wanted. What was the harm in that? And having a running list of things a kid wants makes it easier to fight off random desires for toys, and maybe even goals to save for. Plus easier for far-flung family, which I have a lot of -- we exchange countless emails during holidays and using wish lists online would make things much easier.

But thinking of a kid "registering" takes it up to My Super Snotty and Spoiled Birthday for some reason.

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N.P.

answers from Mobile on

I think it is fine. I register bday and christmas gift for my child. I get so tired of people asking me what does he want/need. I just say I have him a registry at ______. You do not have to buy from it, I just wanted to give a few ideas. Everyone that asked and told this to thought it was a GREAT idea. No guess work!

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

no I would not. However, my sons girlfriend registered for graduation gifts and I thought that was a cool idea. on another note..how did the eval go?

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M.M.

answers from Tucson on

My 7 yr old daughter has a wish list going on Toysrus. More for her fun than anything else. She is having a birthday in 2 weeks, but she is not telling anyone about the wish list. Its kind of like window shopping. There are so many toys on it that i know would be discarded after one day.
I haven't even looked at it, i just saw some things as she was browsing.
She is going to the water park for her birthday and im giving her one gift. Thats it.
My side of the family does not overdo it with material things.
Her dad will im sure get her lots of useless things. Last year her dads mom gave her $250 and also my 2 yr old. What the heck right?
This year my 7 yr old wants a nintendo DSI even though she all ready has a Nintendo ds. I bet ya they get it for her.
I'd rather put the money in the bank and have her save it.

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i don't see where it's any different than a parent putting a list of likes in a bday card when the paretns don't know them that well. as long as everything isn't super expensive, i dont' see what the big deal is.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I think a registry for kids is a bit much. I would not allow it.

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

no way. i don't even think it's decent to register for wedding gifts.... why are people so tacky and selfish, always expecting someone else to bring them presents?
I want to get someone a gift because I WANT to---not because I feel obligated... but that's just me. My husband and I accepted no gifts and did not register for our wedding... I hope what you are describing doesn't become a trend. I might just have to move out of the states. we are so materialistic.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

It's tacky. I actually had someone tell me this week that she was going to be registering for her housewarming party. I must have looked shocked. She said is that not a good idea. This is a girl I like. She has just bought a house with her boyfriend. they are not married and so far no plans for that. I was just shocked.

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A.T.

answers from Davenport on

Let me start by saing i have not read any other comments. Ok I think i would let my daughter do a registry. Ok but look at it from my perspective and you will understand why. i dont see a registry as an I want I want i want list. I see it more as a I do not have this but am interested in these things list. face it a child at seven yrs old likes many different things and deffintly know what they DO NOT like. As parents we know our kids yes but as a parent of a child going to a birthday party we dont know everything the birthday child likes. So a registry is a nice way to allow other parents to have an idea of whta they like. Now a registry doesnt mean OMG i have to get a really expensive gift for this party or look like a fool No i am sure that if she or he puts on there that they like one thing you can always buy a similair product and it would be appreciated

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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Wow, I do a wish list for each of my girls for birthdays and Christmas. Who cares, and it makes it easier on grandparents out of town. I do not think I would do a registry because that is more for weddings and baby showers. The girl that was spotted in the store was probably doing a wish list because they are done the same way as a registry is done in the store.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Part of me wants to say that it's tacky, and if I still had young kids, I can't see myself doing it. However, we all know that if you're invited to a kid birthday party, you're going to bring a gift. I remember when my kids were younger, trying to figure out what this child would like, not knowing what toys and games they had, not wanting the other mom and dad to have to make a trip to the store to return something ... I'd probably have welcomed a list that I could choose from.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

There are many small toy stores around here who have a "B-day bucket", you take your child there before their b-day, they pick out things they want and put it in the bucket. When you send out an invitation you just say that a " b-day bucket" was created at "this" store. Many of our friends do it with much younger kids than 7. I thought it was a great idea, we did not need to guess.

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K.W.

answers from Cumberland on

No, the way I see it is she will get what people want to get her. Registries are for baby showers or wedding showers

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

I don't let my kids register at stores for birthday gifts, but they do each have a wish list on amazon.com, which they put things on. We also add things to these wishlists before birthdays and the holidays. They are mostly used by relatives -- grandparents, great uncle, aunt, etc. They all appreciate an easy way to see exactly what the kids would like and what we think they would like. Even if they don't get things off the list, it gives them an idea of the types of things that they should be looking for and what the kiddos are into at the moment. I think it's also great that we can put things on their lists without them knowing about it, so that grandparents can get them things that they like and still surprise them.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

Not sure about a birthday, maybe a wish list and if anyone asks what she wants (usually people do) then I would be like do you want to see her wishlist... and say she puts this thing together all the time (so it doesn't sound tacky or there on purpose). I think it is a cool idea for Christmas (for me and my mom, who is not so great with present choosing and wouldn't be offended by it).
I wouldn't pass it out or recommend it unless someone specifically ask, but I don't think I'd show them the wishlist just say a couple of things that were on it without mentioning the actual list. I think it is traditionally kinda snotty, but on the other hand I would love one from someone so I knew what to get for a birthday party AND it keeps track of what someone else bought so you don't give the same gift.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Whenever my girls and I are in a store and they see something they want, I tell them "put it on the list". This "list" is imaginary, doesn't really exist, but by "putting it on the list", they stop bugging me for it because it's now been "recorded" that they want that item. I suppose registering is kinda the same thing. There's no reason to say it's a "birthday" registry and give out the info to guests. I'd let my kids "register" whatever they want - doesn't mean they're actually getting any of that stuff. Doesn't mean I'd actually tell anyone about it. I *certainly* wouldn't expect guests to buy things off of it - THAT would be beyond tacky. But the actual act of registering? Sure, why not. It's fun to dream about stuff and "record" that you want it.

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L.E.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Let me think about that for a moment.... Uh.... NO.

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