Hubby Has Two Facebook Accounts

I think its like you having friends on this site--and on here we do talk about sex, marriage, in laws, etc. Be fair/play fair.

I know people that do this. They want to keep their work and school 'friends' separate from their family 'friends'. If it bothers you, just have him 'friend' you from both accounts so that you can see the activity.

Huh, that's weird? Why can't he just chat with people on his original account?

ETA: I actually don't know anyone who has 2 facebook accounts. My area must be not in the norm. I find it weird he would need 2 accounts, but he gave you the password so I'm guessing you have nothing to worry about.

"strict?"
That's a word you use with your husband?
Pshhh....if I told my husband what he could and could not do one of two things would happen....
1 - He would start hiding things from me
2 - He would look at me like I grew a second head and laugh at me and say "who do you think you are, my mom?"

And I would do the same thing if he tried to be to "strict" with me. Thank goodness we love and respect each other!
L.

Lots of people have 2 accounts - one for their "real friends" and one for games and acquaintances. Especially with the way FB doesn't respect privacy (Graph, anybody?) people are looking to keep work and play apart.

He's been open with you. I would not worry. In some ways, it's like running into someone in the park and continuing to chat with them here and there later. If you worry about him making friends or making inappropriate friends, then that's more about you and him than FaceBook.

DH and I both have friends of opposite genders. I don't worry about it and vice versa. When he was married to his ex, she frequently lied about when she was working or who she was hanging out with and found her boyfriends at work (she worked at a bar so she met a lot of people). The problem wasn't her job per se, but that SHE was not loyal and trustworthy. If your DH is trustworthy, then don't treat him like he's guilty of more than wanting to keep his private FB account private.

He is your husband...not your child. You either trust him or you don't.

I've made friends on this website and on facebook. my husband knows what is going on. I've grown "attached" to several ladies on here! Even one of the men!! (Jim you are great!)..does that mean something is gonna happen? Nope.

Bottom line? Trust him or don't. You are his WIFE and partner - NOT his keeper or his mother.

Why are you so afraid that he will do something inappropriate? Can't a person have a friendship with a person of the opposite sex and it NOT be about sex?

I have BUNCHES of friends on fb..... I've never thought about something inappropriate starting up...... we talk about kids, quilting, help each other with the games on fb, talk about gardening, commiserate with each other about jobs, weather, kids, family, etc....

He gave you the password..... why are you so worried?

Why on earth do you monitor his online activity? He is not your child, he is your husband.

If my husband treated me like a child.....by snooping and monitoring my actions.............this 26 yr marriage would have been LONG gone.

Mutual respect = solid relationship. It sounds like you don't trust him. That's sad.

You're his wife not his mother. There's no reason for you to monitor his online activity.
Is there a reason for you not to trust him?

Um, wow.
He has to have permission for it?
Hey, he openly told you about it. He even gave you the password for it. What more do you want?

You are too uptight and insecure and jealous.

He probably already knows that you are uptight, strict, insecure and jealous which is why he told you about the second account and gave you the password.

You know, we've never exchanged passwords (probably because we have so many that they are written on a giant spreadsheet), but honestly it has never occurred to me that I should require him to give me access to his communications. Why? Because I trust him. Trusting my husband is something inherent in our relationship.

Either something is off with you or something is off with your relationship. Either way, figure it out before it destroys the marriage.

I have 2 Facebook accounts and 2 pages. One is for all my friends and family, the other is for the people I play games with, which I hardly do anymore, but many of us who play set up second accounts for that reason. (You can have more than one FB account, but the emails have to be different.) One page is to stay in touch with family, the other is my Facebook page for my blog. So some people need more than one account.

In your husband's case perhaps these people share similar interests, I don't know. But being that he was honest about what he was doing, gave you the password and you've seen the messages which were just friendly chats, I highly doubt he's up to anything sinister, or that you have anything to be upright, strict, insecure or jealous over. Don't look for problems where none exist, relax.

I confess, I have an extra FB account too. One of them is very private and only people I know or people who I know...know. Like friends of friends. My grand kids love to play games on FB and I don't let them play with people I don't know. I have friends with kids that have trustworthy friends that their own kids play games with so I will allow them to play with those people too.

If they're good enough for my friends kids they're good enough for my grand kids too. I never let the kids be on the computer if we're not right there and they only play if I am right there. They don't chat or post, they only play the games.

So I understand that desire to have a private account where only friends and family can see what I post or what I am doing. Then having that open more public profile is so much fun. I have made friends with people from Alaska, Australia, and even from the Mediterranean area. I have friends from all sorts of other countries that live all over the world. So I see the fun of a second account. One that everything can be totally public and nothing is about you or your family.

My cousin has one account. She is very open and posts all her posts either public or friends, not friends but not acquaintances but friends. That means that each and every person she is friends with can see it.

I have seen people use the privacy settings on their friend list where they quantify some as only acquaintances. Then when they post something private they post it to only friends but not acquaintances. That means only certain people can see that post.

My cousin lost her adult son several years ago, they were super close. She talked to him then he left for work and was dead 15 minutes later in a car accident. She has never recovered. Her FB friends are her "family" now. She is very fond of several of the people she plays games with. They chat, they tell their problems to them, it's more personal than here, she has her home town listed and tells where they're going to eat or be working all the time. She has even met some of these people in person.

Does her husband mind? Of course not, she's a friendly person and has used FB to help her heal and get by day by day. It's like her own support group.

I think having a couple of accounts is nothing new or anything to be worried about. If you have any issues with it why not friend that account and you can see what he's doing or saying all the time. Even when he's not thinking about you seeing it.

If he was open and gave you the password and all, well, he has nothing to hide. So it's you that has the issue not him. Let it go.

My husband is not into being online and barely has an online presence. Once in a great while, he will send something to his brother from my FB account. He loves to "Like" his metal bands from my iPad, which hit my FB account.

Could the possibility exist that he could talk to someone that I didn't know about...absolutely. He doesn't need FB for that.

It is no big deal. He is an adult and knows right from wrong, FB or not.

1) Most people have 2 or more FB accounts, these days.

- Close friends/family & Aquaintences/distant fam
- Personal & Professional
- Kid friendly & Adult only
(not xxx adult, but where they can talk about genocide, post "vintage" snarky cards, go off on rants, not be their most tesponsible selves, etc.)
- Special Interest & Everyone Else

FB has ways to do this with a single account, but its
- new
- cumbersome still

2) You ARE insecure & jealous. Which is more concerning than what he thinks

- Why? Do you have reason to be?

- If he decides to commit adultery there is NOTHING you can do to prevent it from happening. So you can spend years being unhappy NOT trusting him, or deal & learn to trust him*. Easier said than done, of course.

*Adultery sucks. Its bad enough on its own. But its ALSO like worrying about cancer. If you spend 30 years being afraid of cancer, that doesn't help you if you get cancer. It just wastes 30 years of worrying about it. There's no point, IME, freaking out about terrible things (adultery, cancer, etc.) BEFORE they happen.

My husband despises Facebook--he doesn't have an account. I would say anything is 'normal' if it doesn't interfere with your daily lives, marriage, intimacy, etc.

I think it's against facebook rules to have two accounts. Are they the same name? Does he have any pictures? If he thinks that people can't see two of his accounts, he's probably wrong about that.

The thing is, he CAN make new friends this way. BUT, he's most likely showing a different side of himself to these people. He may not even realize it. But they may be showing another side of themselves, too. Is that what he really wants?

Since you have his password, he's not trying to hide it from you, and that's good. I just wonder what his real motivation is...

Dawn

what did he say when you told him that?

i'm not a "either you trust him or you don't" kind of person. everyone lets you down eventually - sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways. IF you have reason to be suspicious, nothing we say will talk you out of it. but to me, i think the scenario you just described, is innocent and harmless. lots of people have multiple accounts of whatever kind. kind of like having a "junk" email address, right? try not to sweat it. unless there is more that makes you worry, JUST from what you say here, i say you are fine. and this is coming from one who was cheated on - SO i am usually the first to feel paranoia. in this case i don't have any red flags. hth.

(I agree with Nikki. it peeves me to see some of these responses. your question was legitimate and not accusatory, just concerned and wondering if you were right to be. i will never understand some of the spiteful responses to these kinds of questions. you didn't say anything wrong dear.)

I would not worry about it. He gave you the password and let you look at the chats. He doesn't seem to be hiding anything. I know a few people that have multiple FB accounts. I don't, but some people do. If you trust him, I say let it go and don't worry. Good luck!

Look on the positive side...he's not hiding anything from you and if he gives you no reason to think he is then let it be. Also be glad that if he is talking to people he does not know well, that he has a separate "personal" account with family stuff that is not being shared with strangers. That is always my concern and why I limit who I "friend." I'm on it to keep in touch with friends who live far away. Others use it for the social aspect.

My first question, is that does he do this for security reasons? FB is known for not have secure measures. So would he have a 2nd account to be friends with just cyber friends? And then those people don't have access to his real identity?

Cyber security is hugely important. So that's my question. But you're married to him and either you understand this dual FB thing or you don't? Either it sits well with you, or not. You have to know at a gut level if he's telling the truth.

Really he only needs one account. He can make different settings on each individual friend.Limit the access for some....
Might take a bit longer to set up each person but this way you might not feel any added pressure since you have his password and all.
Good Luck to you!!

Since he gave you the password, I really don't think you need to worry. You asked, he told. Don't make more out of it than necessary.

Does his past suggest something more? If so, then perhaps you should troll it a bit.

I do think it's odd to have more than one FB account. In fact, the more I think about it the more it doesn't make sense. Do they both have his basic info? And a photo. How do people who friend him differentiate between accounts? But then again, i go back to my original thought - he told you about it and gave you access. Strange!!