How Will I Know When the Time Is Right for Baby #2? - Saint Paul,MN

my boys are 22 months apart...they are very very cute together!

I would say when the time is right for you, is the perfect time.

I have two sisters who are 5 and 6 years older than me, so I was too young all the time to do anything 'fun'.

My Fiance and his brother are 27 months apart and they are best friends.

I am going through kind of the same thing right now. I have a daughter who is 15 months old and this is the time I decided we should try for a second baby. Then in the back of my head I worry about having another baby since I am so close to my daughter, I don't want to mess with that. But I have spoken to many people and everyone tells me it will be the same way with the next child, you will be that close to both of them. I think about my daughter getting jealous, but then tell myself that they will end up being very close in the long run. As someone earlier mentioned to you, I don't know if you are ever really ready, but when it happens it always seems to work itself out for the best.

I wanted one more and went for it. Are you ever ready to have #1? or #2? for myself, the answer was no. When they came it worked itself out and there are moments I can't give each girl my attention to the fullest but how can you? Do you want a huge age gap between them? That's something to consider. The Mother/Daughter relationship and special moments will be there. Just not all the time. It's okay to try now.

We were trying when DD #1 was 9 months old and nothing happened for a few months. They are exactly 25 months apart and sometimes I wish they were closer but since it is what it is I think it's perfect. They are 1 and 3 and they get along very well. The oldest does complain and whine when baby gets into her play kitchen but that stuff will happen.

My kids are all really close in age because I had my girls 20 months apart and then adopted 2 boys. Now my kids are 5,4,3 and 1 and it's a blast! The older 2 play together and the younger 2 play together. They always have playmates and are interested in the same things because of their close ages.
I think the things people should think about aren't loving or having time but more like space issues. Going from 1-2 isn't as big of an issue as 2-3 or more. Sometimes people have more kids and then can't fit car seats in vehicles or don't have enough room in their homes.
I'd have 12 kids if I could but we are going to try 5 for now (at my husband's request) :o)
You'll do fine and so will your daughter. It'll take a day or so of adjustment but then she'll be Miss Mother Hen just like my oldest :o)
Best Wishes,
J.

My Children are 22 months apart and honestly we have never regret having them so close. I think you just get this feeling telling you it's time. My Daughters play great together most of the time and can share some clothes. 5 Years after my daughter was born we decided to have one more. My girls play with their brother but not usually for more than 10 minutes so i wish we would have had him closer to the other two. Good luck. Two in diapers isn't all bad.

I think you just know. I had a girl in 2003 and then had a boy in 2005. I like the space between them. My daughter was 20 months when I had my son. They play very well together but of course they have their moments of arguing too. I think between 18 months and 2 yr difference is good

Hi Teresa,

In my opinion you should have another baby now because if you wait too long maybe you never do it. I have twins girls and I didn't want to have another child right after so now I like to sleep the whole night and I think I'm too old to stay up nights and deal with the diapers so do it now.
R.

I just wanted to let you know I feel the exact same way. I have a 6year old daughter and we are so close and I love her so much I can't imagine having that relationship with another child or being as close. I want one more but I'm not married right now so that's what's really stopping me but I wonder if I want another one sometimes because what my daughter and I have is so special. I'm sure it becomes natural and everything but then again I've seen to many people with favorites. I've dated several guys where their parents had favorites and it drove me crazy. I am a very fair person and would never want to be like. I say to myself if another comes along great but I'm satisfied and content with my one and only.

Hi T.. I have 2 kids, a 3 yr old and a 7 month old, I think this is perfect spacing! I worried that I wouldn't be able to have enough to give to 2 kids. But once you see their little face you know you can do it, somehow you just find more of yourself to give. As for when do you know the time is right, you just do only you know.

You'll know when the time is right. If you feel pushed into it just so your kids will be close in age and therefore playmates, you may feel resentful or dissappointed if they end up being fighters rather than lovers. My son is 14 months, and baby #2 is due in December. But, my hubby and I always wanted close (in age) kids. Also, after my son was born, I thought it was so amazing that I just couldn't wait to do it again and have a teeny-tiny baby again. But, many feel that the first was so amazing, nothing could compare. When you and your husband are ready will be the perfect time and spacing! Best of luck :)
By the way, my sister and I have always been really close (we're 14 years apart)!!

My older son is 22 months and my younger son is 7 months and it's great. Since my oldest was only 15 months old when #2 came home he wasn't really jealous because he didn't know what that emotion was. He loves his little brother so much. He's always giving him kisses and hugs. My sister in law just had her second baby and her oldest is just over 2 years old and not handling it very well. Every family and child is different and you have to do what works for you. We'll be trying for #3 soon so they're close together, too.

Hi T.. I am going through the same thing. I have a 14 month old son and I think I am ready for another addition to our family. My husband is really worried that my son will feel left out with a new baby. I am worried that if I wait too long I will have problems having a baby. It took me along time to have my son and I will be 30 next year. I think you should do whatever is best for your family. Good luck.

My sons are 20 months apart. For me, this is a great space between them... yes it means 2 in diapers at the same time and having to really watch them closely (right now) to make sure my 2 year old doesn't play too rough with the baby, but I think they will be great buddies as time goes on. My husband and his brother are 16 months apart and he says it was great having a brother/sibling so close to him. It's like having a full time playmate!

As far as losing that relationship with your daughter, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You as the Mama have buckets of love for any babies you add to your family! Of course things will change, but all the changes are good :)

Good luck to you!
J.

Just go for it and let nature take its course. I've got a 19 month old girl and am due with another girl at the beginning of December. Whatever the outcome, you'll adapt. If it's something you want, you'll make it work. One of my friends with two kids says she can't even remember life with one child. She thought she was finished with two and recently found out she's got a number three on the way so, after some time spent freaking out and distressing, she and her husband decided that they are up for it and going to go for it. As for me, I couldn't even do more than two. Yes, I do freak out on a regular basis about this pregnancy, but it can be done. Good luck to you with your decision. I've got a full time job and don't think I could manage as a stay at home parent because I think I'l break with of all the constant demands for attention. I love my daughter's daycare time, so you're stronger than I. You'll find what works for you and be fine.

My daughter will be 18 months this week and my husband has been wanting #2 for MONTHS. While I agree that I want them to be good ages for eachother, I have yet to feel that my daughter is independent enough... I keep waiting for her to need me less so I can focus on another baby and it just doesn't happen. She really loves other people's babies though which I take to be a good sign but even at mealtimes no one else can handle her or get her to eat as much as I can. So we're just in a holding pattern for a wee bit longer. Good luck with your decision.

The short answer? WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU is the right thing to do. :) That being said, I am one of the few that likes having my boys farther apart. For many years (even before we had kids), we both thought we only wanted one child. Then a couple years ago, we started thinking along the lines of a fuller family, a sibling for #1, etc. My boys are exactly 3 1/2 years apart, and we love the gap. I was able to shephard my first through the baby years without rushing him out of a crib or highchair. I felt like I could really relish our time together. Now, with my second (who is 5 mo.), I appreciate that my older son is more self-sufficient. Can go to the bathroom by himself, is in preschool, can entertain himself, fill his own water, etc. He's so busy growing up, it helps keep his mind off the time I spend with the baby. I think he also better understands what babies are all about, which helps me feel more secure in their own relationship. I used to worry if they'd play together, being so far apart, but my (almost) 4 year-old loves his brother, and is happy to play peek-a-boo, etc. And soon enough, I know they will be sharing other things, most of all time together. It's not an easy decision, I know. But you'll come up with something and before you know it, you'll be a family of 4 and it will feel so right!

I have two kids, my son is 3 years old and my daughter is 6 months old. I had a big worry how my son was going to react to having a baby around. At first he was very jealous but now he loves his baby sister. Every time we meet someone new he says "This is my sister" It's very cute. I think as far as age diffence and when to have a second it's up to you. I knew I wanted my kids to be 3-4 years apart, so when my son was 2 we started trying. I had no brothers or sisters so I really wanted my kids to have a sibling. My husband has 2 brothers, a fraternal twin and another brother 3 years older and they all get along very well. I think the age apart that my kids are is a good age. My son is old enough to understand things such as that not to bug mommy when she's feeding the baby. He also knows not to be rough with her and has really enjoyed watching her grow and start to interact with her. He loves to have her sit next to him and cuddle or hold her in his lap. Not to mention he helps out with diaper changes and changing her clothes and even likes to feed her sometimes. He is also potty trained and has been since she was born so it's nice not to have 2 kids in diapers. I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be fine. Good luck!