How to wean my toddler from nursing?

First of all, you are doing a great job with your child. She benefits a lot from your breast milk.
As for your request, I can say that personally I nursed my son for 14 mo. I intentionally stopped feeding him and did it gradually, one session away in a couple of days or so. He was not yet able to fully communicate his wishes about nursing at that age. At the point when toddlers understand the whole process, it is difficult to "negotiate" a break. So, you will face some obstacles.
My friend who nursed her son for 2 1/2 y. did negotiate by giving him a reason to stop. He agreed. Or something that would work as a bargain point. You may try these strategies.
Good luck!

Valerie,

Well done! I BF my son until he was 15 months, and weaned while pg with #2... I am not sure how long I would have BF the first if I was exhausted and sore from the pregnancy... that said - it does sound like you could cut back to bed time and waking, or even just bedtime if you want. My sister in law has BF all 3 of her kids to over two years, and I know that by the time they were two she really only did it at the end of the day, or for comfort (if hurt, sick, etc.).

When I weaned my son down to our last nursings, I used the busy day approach. We would leave the house and go go go until he was so tired he seemed to forget about nursing (or fell asleep in the car).

I did spend extra time rocking, holding, reading books for a few weeks to make up for that missing snuggle time and that seemed to help.

Good luck!

FYI - I say home and highly recommend a ECFE class to meet other mom's in your area. I have found several that we have regular play dates with and it helps a ton with the lonelyness factor. You probably could get into a class starting after the holidays. Email me if you are not familiar with the program, I'd love to give more info.

SAHM to 2 1/2 year old Charlie and 11 month old Joey

Hi! My second daughter is five and would probably STILL be nursing if I hadn't gotten pregnant with my third daughter when she was 14 months old. I actually nursed her the first two months of pregnancy (which I did not not you can do! It made me nervous that I was not making enough nutrients for the milk and baby in the womb! Dr. said it was fine if my body could do both , but my milk would dry up sooner or later).
Anyway, I started weaning her at 15 1/2 months and she was NOT happy! It was hard on both of us. I just had to stick with NO feeding during the day-I gave her warm milk in a bottle or sippy. I nursed her at night and in the morning only. We started "forgetting" the morning feedings and as my milk started adapting to the once only feedings-she realized she would get "more" from the sippy or bottle. She liked the fact she could move around AND have her milk too!
I don't think there is any "correct", cut and dried way to handle weaning as each child is different. It is so hard emotionally on us Moms and I think we are the ones that make it more difficult as we impose our insecure thoughts and sadness on them. They are usually very adaptive and will not suffer emotional "trauma" b/c of it. They will try to "test" your resolve about changing their routine. I guess you need to redirect their attention from the nursing to other things.
Good luck! I know its quite a battle! I nursed all three of mine and had to wean 3 times!

Sharon gave you great advice! At her age, you can just gently remind her that she can nurse at bedtime. If you want, cut out all the daytime sessions all at once, your milk is very adjusted now nad your chances of becming engorged are pretty slim. You may have to be out of the house and busy for a week before she slows down, settles down, and gets used to only nursing in the morning and bedtime.

Good for you for nursing your child for so long! She is getting great benefits from your milk! However it IS a mutual relationship, when one wants to cut back or stop, then its time to reevaluate. I think that cutting back to morning and night would be a great solution for you. It might take some work, and a few 'busy' days where you cant' stop and nurse and you are out of the house, but if it'll make both of you happy, then its the best thing to do.

She does not need to nurse every 3 hours. As long as she is eating & drinking well she could do without. I am sure it is just a comfort for her & weaning is not easy as I am weaning my 10 month old son now. I have just reduced the feedings every few days for the last few weeks & now I am almost done. I loved nursing but it was taking a toll on my body. Does she have a special blanket or lovey? You will probably have to replace the comfort of nursing to something else. Good Luck!

I nursed my oldest son until he was 3 1/2. It was only at night by that point, but it was getting to be a controlling issue as well. I was no longer enjoying our time together, and he was not being comforted. Now that he is in school, he is in therapy for Sensory Integration. Now everything that I was so frustrated with when he was a baby and toddler--trouble transitioning and his inattentiveness--make much more sense now. I had to set boundaries on the nursing, and there were tantrums, but it was easier because I had another child to put the focus on if need be. ("No, the baby needs to nurse. You need to wait.")

Good Luck. Check out SI. It may help you now, rather than later.

Valerie, great for you (and her) for nursing her this long! How awesome. I bfed all 3 of my kids, my last one the longest at almost 2 yrs. Extended bfing has to be mutual, and it sounds like you want to cut back. If that is true, then you need to do it. She is old enough to understand, so you can tell her that you are only going to nurse when it is morning and bedtime (if those are the times that you want to keep). Reassure her that you will still hold her, cuddle and snuggle with her through out the day (and be sure to have special time where you have that bodily contact with her). You can tell her that she is old enough/big enough that these are the only times she needs to bfed now. Be sure you are giving her small meals/snacks often (which it sounds like you are) and offer her a drink even more often. If she has a lovey, you might want to encourage use of that more right now. If she asks to nurse, remind her of when you will, and then do something else to get her mind off it (read a book together, play a game, go for a walk, etc), but make sure you are doing something together so she is still getting the time with you. Never give in to tantrums and if she wants to forgo a meal or snack, that is fine, but she gets nothing to eat until the next meal or snack (make sure you are keeping the control). At her age, I would do it cold turkey. Decide on a day to start (a busy day when you are going to be out of the house a lot might be easiest, as she her mind would be off of bfing) and stick to it. Do not give in, or she has control again and will know she can throw a fit and get her way. You could go to the store and pick out a few new cups or a cool water bottle to help make the whole thing more exciting. Good luck, and, again, great for you for continuing so long!
S., mom of 3