Trying to Wean a Nursing Baby

The key for me was handing my son a bottle of milk into which I added a hint of vanilla extract and a tiny amount of sugar. Once he started gulping it down, he forgot all about the breast. I never added vanilla or sugar after that one time. Good luck. It will happen.

Hi S.,

Congrats on BFing a full year!

I thought I would BF until 12 months, and then 18 months, and then 24 months! It was obvious my daughter was not ready to wean so soon, as much as I wanted to at times. But my "need" to stop came and went, several times, and overall I am so very glad we waited. It has given me an instant way to relieve her teething over the months, and a great way to sleep while soothing her (we co-slept while nursing but not any more).

She is now 24 months and we are actively weaning without any extremes. She understands and can respond to me well at this point, so there's no confusion about what is going on. And she is obviously ready to wean now, while at 13 months there was no way for us to do it cruelty-free.

That being said, I have heard of plenty of toddlers who self-wean between 12 and 18 months, though I think the vast majority self-wean between 2 and 3 years.

HTH!

Hi S. - First, congratulations for nursing already for 13 months! I had a thought for you - have you tried pumping and then offering the pumped milk in a sippy? I know that would be a pain - but maybe that would ease the transition. I remember that my daughter would nurse
A LOT and for a long time when she was teething - I think the nursing action helped the pain. So maybe he could be teething? I've seen a new product recently that is a bottle shaped like a breast - I can't remember where I saw it advirtised but that is another idea. If all else fails - maybe you could just keep going. You and he are still getting wonderful health benefits. I'm still nursing my daughter and she is 2 and 1/2. I never planned that either - but at least she is down to only 2 or 3 sessions a day AND I don't have any other kids. Best wishes - D.

Hi there. I have nursed two toddlers, and it does get better. Sometimes when they reach the year mark, their world is so big and scary as they become more independent that they just need that "check-in" with mom. My 19 month old was the same at that age, but now she nurses a lot less. I would explore the reasons why you want to wean. If it's because of outside pressures, you might want to reconsider the decision. Many more moms these days are nursing toddlers and it's just as good for them now as it was when they were newborns. If you still decide you want to wean, there are ways to gently wean your son so that it is a pleasant experience rather than a battle.

Here are some resources:
Nutritional Benefits of Toddler Nursing: http://breastfeeding.suite101.com/article.cfm/nutritional...

How Nursing Improves Toddler IQs and Social Skills: http://breastfeeding.suite101.com/article.cfm/extended_nu...

Gentle Weaning:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

Hope this helps!

You've gotten great responses. Only other thing I would suggest is that if he doesn't take the bottle from you at all, have someone else give it to him. Also, does he have a lovey, like a favorite stuffed animal or blankie? That can help with the transition. Sometimes it's your smell and warmth that they seek, so hugging and holding him while he drinks the bottle can help with that. I don't have all the answers. My eldest and youngest weaned themselves at about 15 months and 8 months respectively. They just woke up one day and didn't ask for it anymore. I didn't know the last time I nursed them that it would be the last time. It just happened. With my second, I had to leave town for work when he was 16 months, and when I came back and he asked for nursing, I told him they didn't work anymore that way, and that was it. I had been trying to wean him for 3 months prior to that. Don't worry, it will happen.

Hi S.,
If you really want to wean, start by taking away one feeding at a time, substituting a meal in it's place. Don't try to rush it, take away the next feeding 3-4 days later, depending on how he's handling it. For those non-meal nursing sessions, distract him with an activity and don't "assume" the nursing position. i.e. sitting or whatever. Take away those most important nursing sessions last. Usually bedtime or wake-up time. On the flip side, give him lots of attention and cuddles. Some kids have a hard time weaning because of thier need for physical closeness.
A great book to check out is "How Weaning Happens" by Diane Bengson. It is a non-judgemental book with lots of great advice and personal stories as well as cultural impact.
Good Luck!

Hi S.,

I nursed my daughter for 13 months also, she too was not interested in a bottle or anything else. I was like you and was ready to stop nursing. She has an older sister so I kept re-enforcing that she could be a big girl like her sister with a sippy cup. I was very persistant about offering the sippy cup with juice, or milk, she eventually gave in and I was able to wean her. Your will has to be stronger that theirs, it may wear on your nerves but just be persistant.

A little about me:
WAHM of 4
www.dailypayplus.com

Start skipping feedings and give him for solid foods. The solid foods will fill him up. If he is wanting to nurse that much it sounds to me like he is lacking in solilds. Or he could just be wanting the closeness. Do you hold him and read to him and play with him when not nursing? Maybe he just is wanting more Mom and Me time and thinks nursing is the only way to get it. Personally instead of offering him a bottle or sippy cup I would offer him some finger foods or feed him cereal along with a sippy cup. Skip giving a bottle because you are just opening up a new problem. He doesn't need a bottle. I wouldn't give into his crying. He is to old to be nursing as much as he does. I would only nurse at nap time and bed time. Good Luck!

Hi S.,
I struggled with the same question- when do we stop nursing? I have just weaned my daughter who is 15 months old. I am glad that I had the opportunity to nurse as long as I did. My daughter was eating solid foods and nursing for comfort. I cut out the day nursings first for a few days, then the night nursings. When she would try to nurse I would just say, "it's all gone" and offer a sippy cup of milk or a bottle filled with only water. After her second attempt to nurse, she really understood and it wasn't hard at all because of her age. It's your choice and don't let other people pressure you into weaning if you or your child are not ready to do so. If you are ready however, do it slowly.

My advice is - don't stop! My youngest is 6 (and I nursed him well past his second bday) and let me tell you, you will probably never again be so close to your baby. And you will miss it when it's over. So just enjoy that closeness and be assured he will stop eventually.
Good luck!

S.,

Congrats for doing such a breastfeeding your little one and giving them the very best thing you could offer!

Is there a reason that you want to wean right now and is that decision set in stone? If given the option and/or asked the question, most toddlers at 13 months would say that they still want to nurse, as you have experienced with your child. It's natural and serves not only as excellent nutrition, antibody benefit, emotional support and security. If you are willing to continue it will continue to provide so much for baby, as well as you health-wise, but if you are set on weaning I would recommend reducing 1 nursin session per month (starting with the one he will care the least about and miss the least)....and gradually continue taking away one each month until you are down to a number of nursing sessions per day that you are ok with, or are completely weaned. This will not be an easy process since he isn't ready, but it can be done. Keep in mind that although YOU are ready, he sees the nursings as far more than just a drink, so a sippy or other cup is not likely to serve as a true replacement, since he is only 13 months old and is looking for the closeness, comfort, love and security that he associates with being nursed by you. You may have to be creative in changing daily routines so nursing isn't an expected next event...such as if you always have bath, then rock in the rocker/nurse before bed...you may have to do bath in the morning and Daddy puts him to bed, etc.... Bedtime, naptime, waking in the am are likely the hardest/last to wean since they associate those with so much love, comfort while sleepy.

You may want to join the Yahoo egroups that are specifically for those moms nursing beyond 1 year old.... they offer specific advice on this very topic that you will gain alot from. There is one called Extended_Nursing and another called breastfeeding after one or something like that.

Go slow, be understanding and loving to his new confusion/stress that weaning before he is ready may bring...and hang in there! Best wishes....

I have no advice to offer since both my kids pretty much weaned themselves (thank God too, cause I would have not known how to either, lol!) but it looks as if you've gotten some good advice so I'm only here to wish you good luck with whatever you decide :)

take care
L.

The more he eats, the less he will drink. It will happen eventually naturally. He will prefer the flavors and textures over milk, of any kind! Keep introducing foods until that kicks in:)