How to Stop 2Yr Old Girl from Whining

Updated on August 29, 2008
D.L. asks from San Pedro, CA
4 answers

My 2 year old daughter whines about everthing! I need help to find a way to stop this. My husband & I constantly say "no whining" whenever she starts, or use it to say "you won't get this or get to do that until you stop whining", but she continues to do it. Any tips/tricks to get this behavior to stop? It's getting really OLD...

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try child sign language. If your daughter is already talking this is okay. It will help distract her. She is probably very frustrated about something especially if she is not talking yet and not being able to communicate. Go to american sign language on the internet. They have a little video at the top that will show you each word. At the bottom of the website is the alphabet. Choose a letter and it will bring you to words you can choose to see the sign for that word.

I have my own daycare and all my babies are taught sign as young as 9 months depending on coordination. It is also known to help with early talking. I have a little girl now that will be 2 soon and she has started to to whine recently. I tell her to stop whining and use her hands. She usually will. She knows about 20 - 25 signs. Here are a few suggestions to get you started that will help with what she probably wants.

Help, more, please, thank you, eat, cup, milk, apple juice, cheese, hungry, tired, sad, cheese, grapes, sorry, color, paint & paper.

You will be very amazed that your daughter will know all of these by the end of the week if you work on it everyday. You can add what you want to the list of whatever words you use in your home on a regular basis. After that you can introduce colors and animals. The animals is always fun for the kids.

Good luck
M.

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make her use words to express her wants. If she doesn't use words then tell her you don't know what she wants. "Tell me what you want" and, "I can't help you if I don't know what you want" Don't allow her to point for things and get away with it. If she doesn't ask or express her wants don't give her what she wants unless she does. Believe me, it's not cruel and she won't have a lasting trauma behind it. I'm older so I have had lots of experience in this area. I hope this helps. Really, it's not cruel, you will be better off and so will she. She will learn how to express her wants and needs when she is away from you at school or aanywhere else.

:~)

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E.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there D.,
Ugh I hate the whining! Our daughter had a whining phase (and of course still has the occasional "I don't WANT to take a nap" whine).
We would say "no whining", but it occured to me that she didn't know what "whining" meant. In a quiet moment, she asked me, "Mommy, what whining is?" I was floored! I had been telling her not to do something and she didn't know what.

So I gave her examples of whining(does your DD watch CAILLOU? He is the KING of whiners! UGH! I banned him!)and I told her that whining is bothersome and difficult to understand; that it's better to just ask for what you want in a polite way. When she would whine then, I'd say-"I can't understand you when you whine. Please say that in another way." I just kept that up until she got the message.

Good luck! It's hard to be patient when faced with a whiner. Hang in there!

E.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

D.,

It depends on how well she talks and understands you. My son was speaking proficiently by two so these worked for him, so take what works for you. The funnier I made any of this the faster he stopped.

Instead of saying don't, reinforce how she should do it.

First, I told my son that "I can't understand you when you talk like a baby, only babies talk like that" and then walk away or ignore him until he repeats it correctly. This is hard but should still work even though she's only two.

I would especially comment positively when he did speak without whining. If he asked for milk I would respond "thank you for asking properly (or in a big boy voice) yes, you can have some milk just because you asked so nicely." He got it really fast.

Occasionally he just wouldn't stop so I started whining back to him. "I don't WAAAAANNNNAAAA get you MIIIILLLLKKKK" usually flopping my arms like they do when they whine with their whole body. It sounds and looks so ridiculous that we would laugh and he would usually do it correctly.

Also explaining he sounds like a baby when he whines so he can't have the ice cream or toy because babies don't get ice cream and he would need to show me he is a big boy by asking properly. Playing around and exaggerating treating him like a baby made this funnier-trying to wrap him in a baby blanket, suggest feeding him baby cereal or putting him in baby pajamas, etc.

Thing is you can't respond to her even one time when she whines or she will think it works.
You have to be calm too, losing your temper over it only causes more whining.
Also, some kids do just have whinier voices but help her do the best she can.

Good luck!!!

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