16 Month Old Constantly Whimpering!!

He's wimpering because you are responding to what he wants. You are teaching him to whine. He can understand almost everything you say at this age and this is a good age or even late (and I was late to do it too) to start deciding rules and using discipline. They say, estimate what you think they know and double it. I'm just reading on book on whining and just took a parenting class so this is all very fresh in my mind. You need to decide what the rules are and enforce them and be consistent. Do it now otherwise it will only get worse and harder to control. I recommend the following parenting approaches - Love and Logic, Developing Capable Young People and Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting (all have webpages). I've taken workshops and used their CDs and books. Invest some time NOW to read about discipline and raising kids and you'll never regret it.

I think you're response is GREAT. You're teaching him how to express himself better. It will probably take a bit, but he will start to use your vocabulary. Watch and you'll be so proud about how well he communicates.

p.s. this carries to frustration as well. Keep telling him how to express himself better and he WILL become great at explaining himself and finding a resolution.

p.p.s. same goes for the 'thread and ultimatum' stage that kids go through about 4. Keep giving him a better way to say things. It really pays off.

I think it could be normal. Children need to communicate, and it's hard for them when they don't have the words yet. One of my granddaughters had meltdowns for months - until the speech ability really started kicking in, and then she was fine. She was frustrated that she couldn't get her messages across.

Assuming that your boy is all right physically, keep on doing what you're doing. You might say, "I'll get you a snack, AND I'll be so happy when you can talk to me without sounding whiny." Say it pleasantly; you're not mad at him - you are just letting him know that real words will be said nicely!

Does he know any sign language? There are websites that show - in video (hooray!) - basic signs babies and their mamas can learn. Perhaps teaching him a few of those will help him communicate better right now.

I think it is normal, but I also think it is trainable. It is hard when they are not talking yet. Does he say any words yet. You could teach him work with him on learning the word please, or even learning it in sign language. So when he wants something he can sign please or say please. He has learned thus far that whining is the way to get what he wants. Because that is his experience and that is why he keeps doing it. You can create a different experience you can teach him that there is a better way to get what he wants. I would tell him that too. You could even demonstrate it for him. Go the fridge get down on his level so he can see you well and whine and point and then look at him and shake your head no and make a grimis face, then show him you pointing at the fridge and saying please with a smile then you shake your head yes with a big smile and open the fridge. Maybe even do this several times in a row to sink it in. You may need to show him every day a couple times to start. Tell him that he can say please to get what he wants. He is probably able to do it in some way at this point even if it's just pointing at the fridge and smiling to start, praise his effort and reward it. This may take some time and practice but well worth the effort. So next time he points and the fridge and whines you shake your head no and show the grimis face, then ask him to say please or sign it and practice doing it with him. I'm glad you asked you will save yourself a lot of whining by working with this now. Also read to him a lot and talk with him alot. Tell him about what you are doing. I am getting some food out of the fridge to make dinner. I am chopping up the carrots, show him the carrot. This will really help him with his speech when he does start talking. He is a sponge just taking it all in kids learn a lot of words before they start saying them just by us talking with them a lot. We are putting on our shoes, opening the door, walking down the stairs, getting in the car. Talk about things you see as you are driving. Talk talk talk. When you give instructions keep it simple. My daughter in teaching her to stay in the kitchen to eat I would explain it and say we only eat in the kitchen then I would just say kitchen when she started walking out with food and she would come back. I wish you well.

Sometimes my 17 month old son fusses when he is dealing with a challenge. But it is brief, like 10 seconds, maybe a bit harder if the challenge is harder. ( This happened especially with opening/prying things.)

There was a time a few months ago when I thought he had a real whining issue; I really wondered if he was going to be a big whiner. Well, just the other day, he started to do the whining again and I realized something big. He makes a little whining sound (and points) when he wants to know what something is called. I realize now that the whining was much more prevalent when he wasn't speaking as much. So my suggestion to you is to say the name of what he is pointing to and repeat it if you can. "You want a toy? Go get your toy. (he gets it) Now you can play with your toy!"

I'm telling you, I really thought I had a whiner. But now I know I don't (at least for now!).

A couple of things.. if you respond to the whining and give them what they want then they learn that is how to get what they want. And it wont stop. I used baby sign language with my little one. Just go online and learn the basics that he would need... please, juice, milk, all done, thank you... just a few that he needs. And when you say it, use the sign as well. An example: when you want him to ask nicely for something and he's just whining, stop him and say, "Juice, please" and sign it at the same time. He'll pick up on it. You may be able to find some signing books at the library as well. We have a bedtime and mealtime sign language book that is easy for him to follow and you can use it as a night time story. Just some thoughts. It worked really well when my son couldn't talk yet!! Really cut down on the whining!!

I have dealt with this exact problem with my son and I think most mommies with toddlers have as well. Clearly your child understands a lot of what you say to him even though he isn't speaking yet. You've described this beautifully in your problem paragraph. Kids this age whine because they get what they want when they do so - that's the only thing you're doing wrong. I think it's totally appropriate for you to start ignoring him when he's whining. Of course you need to explain what you are doing - why you are ignoring him. He's smarter than you are giving him credit for and will eventually figure out he's not going to get what he wants by whining. This also may propel him to start to spit out some words earlier.

My daughter is 16 mo and in daycare fulltime. When we get home she want's to be held constanly and that is hard . i know that she is very tired from daycare. so that might be the problem!!!

I have an my own in home daycare for 15 yrs and I have 3 18 months old right now...One at this point.. he is just as frustrated he can't speak to you! He GETS you to react by whining! Cause... reaction!The first thing I say is no whining...in a whiney voice...yes they do understand this.. and next teach him, to sign! They make the connection with signing so much faster than language!
Boys... boys are sooooo stubborn about speaking! My own son didnt speak until 3! Familarize yourself with basic sign language...eat...drink...toy and when he goes to the fridge keep repeating it.. The other thing is he knows when you get home from daycare he has you one on one and he knows how to get you to immediatly react! Try taking a few minutes and have him help open the mail...try to anticipate he may need another snack while your fixing dinner... try to rotate toys... put some away...save some from xmas or b-day for the real whinny days....sometimes the strangest toys are the best...my boys love when i let them in my kitch gadget draw( no knives or sharp objeccts) put some macaroni in a pot! Remember there is a beginning... a middle and a end to every stage! good luck momma kay

Your son is the perfect age to start signing!

I used signing with both of my girls and let me tell you - it is phenomenal!! Kids that young do not have the physical development to form words with their mouths yet, but they have great control over their hands.

Your son has so much going on inside his head. He is frustrated that he can't communicate that to you. Simple signs for his favorite foods (milk, cheese, apple) and basic needs (hungry, hurt, help) will be a tremendous help for you both. Plus his ability to communicate with you will nearly eliminate all tantrums and "the terrible twos."

The key to successful signing is that you and all his other caregivers need to use the signs when you speak to him. This is how he will make the connection. And believe me, he will pick it up fast! My girls were signing by the end of the first week.

As if being able to communicate with your little guy wasn't a big enough reason to sign, studies prove that kids who sign actually speak sooner than kids who don't. Something to do with the neural pathways that are built when kids sign.

There is a terrific video series called Signing Time. Your local library probably has it. If not, I'm certain you can buy it online. They're really cute, fun videos with catchy songs that you can watch together so you both learn the signs together.

When my girls were babies, I belonged to a mommy group. About half of us were signing and the other half not. The difference in behavior between the kids who signed and the kids who didn't was night and day.

I cannot recommend signing highly enough!! Best of luck to you and your precious little boy!

Not unlike most of your responses, I believe he's trying to communicate with you the only way he knows how. How frustrating for him to not be able to tell you what's wrong or what he wants! I also agree that teaching him to sign can be a huge help in the meantime. I don't believe it hinders speech; I believe it gives him a tool to use instead of whining. "Milk" "drink" "eat" are all easy signs he can learn. The sign for "more" was used constantly by my son. He'd make the sign and point to what he wanted. He even used it for quite some time as he learned to talk. Best of luck!

In case it hasn't been suggested yet, give him words and start using sign language -- he can sign sooner than he can talk (for example, ask "You want a banana?", make the sign for banana and show him the banana). Of course, "reading" their sign language is a lot like intrepreting a toddler's speech--you can't always make out what is beign said. But you can usually guess, using context.

You can view signs at http://www.start-american-sign-language.com/american-sign...

At this age, I also talked about feelings (sad, happy, tired, frustrated, hungry, thirty, etc.) and gave him those words so he could learn them.

The sign language thing is a great idea, if you can get him to do that.
My middle child (a boy) kind of did a combination of a grunt / whine and pointed at what he wanted. We tried to force him to speak by not getting him what he wanted, and saying, "Use your words, use your words." But he would only end up getting more frustrated. As it turned out, he was really a late talker, and still to this day (he's 8 now), has a hard time verbally expressing himself at times. He's just way more visual and artistic than verbal. And he's also very tuned into what other people are feeling. He is very sensitive and was just processing and taking everything in, and didn't talk until he was 3. But he is extremely bright (straight A's in school) and isn't a whiner at all. So his grunty/whiny thing really wasn't his personality, it was just his inability to communicate with us.
Whereas my older son (now 13) talked at 7 months, and still is a "talker" and always got in trouble in class for talking too much. And he's quite good at writing of course :)
Our youngest, a 16 month old girl, is talking the earliest of all (more common with girls), but has the worst temper you've ever seen. She can tell us quite well what she wants, the problem is if she can't have it, LOL.

So anyway, I wouldn't necessarily say you're doing anything wrong. Just try a few of the other's suggestions and see if they work, especially the signing thing. I should have tried that one with my kid that didn't talk. And don't think the whimpering thing is some sort of "personality flaw". Your baby probably can't express himself in any other way yet :)

I second sign language. Also, when they do start using words, teach them to say "help". I would ignore my daughters fits and whines and say to her "use words", say "help". By not giving in to the fits, I encouraged her to learn the word "help".

Hi S. S. This can be a catch 22, because on one hand since he doesn't talk yet (Normal) he's whining, on the other hand if you respond to his whining and give him what he wants, there's no reason to try and use words because the whining works. My 3 learned how to communicate through gestures and verbal sound (not words) to let us know what they wanted, instead of whining. This is what I teach in my daycare care as well, I don't respond to whining, I don't ignore either, I help them use what verbal skills they have without whining. Giving a child/toddler what they want through whining is actually teaching them to whine to get what they want. yes he needs food, but that's a basic need that i am sure you take of so he does not need to whine to get fed. just keep working with him and he will catch on. They all do. I would not use sign language, as one mom suggested, that may replace whining but will not promote talking in fact it will most likely hinder talking. What I do is I will hold up an apple, and ask do you want an apple, they hear the word and see the object, the same with a drink or cracker, I always say the object while showing them the object. Hope this helps