How to make my infant sleep more or sleep longer?

Hi, I just read the book On Becoming Baby Wise by Ezzo and Buckham. It focuses on getting babies to sleep throughout the night. My baby is only 4 weeks old, so I can't testify to its usefullness, but came pretty highly recommended.

Hi A.! I am so sorry you are having that problem! Sleep deprivation is not a pretty thing. Though it WILL pass that doesn't help you now, so here is my two cents...

I agree with Jessica about ruling out every possible medical thing first, then focus on the behavioral stuff. My baby was sleeping 6 hours a night when she came home from the hospital, so I had it made-I thought! She was breastfed, but did not require lots of night feeding, but she made up for it in the day. I did however get so used to her sleeping well, that I forgot to look for her sleep signals. Starting around 4months old and continuing for a couple of monthsm, she would get VERY fussy at about 8pm, and would LOSE HER MIND if you tried to put her down before 10pm. We interpretted that as she was not sleepy until 10, but we LATER figured out her sleep cues were the 8pm screaming fits! If we had put her down just before the screaming, I think we would have avoided a lot of sleepless nights.

My friend has a baby with reflux and she HAS to eat more often during the night. Her little body knows that she tolerates lots of little meals better than a few large ones. Finally at 11months, she is better!! She is sleeping all night with only a 7 and 10pm feeding, then wakes up at around 7am. So hang in there, just a few more months may do the trick for your baby, too.

Also, I am EXTREMELY opposed to Baby Wise, but we all have an opinion. I personally read a couple of the "cry-it-out" books (hated them for my baby) and several of the gentler methods, and came up with what I felt comfortable with by learning my baby's signals for sleep.

Another suggestion would be trying the Amby bed which is supposed to work miracles with reflux babies. http://www.ambybaby.com/

I hope this helps! Don't hesitate to call on your friends and family to help you through this time. You may be suprised at all the moms who would be happy to give you a night's peace. (Even I would help!! Just let me know.) :)

First, 2 thumbs DOWN to "BabyWise" (not meant to offend but it is just my opinion). That book advocates feeding your child on a "schedule" rather than when they are hungry. If you got hungry how would you appreciate your husband telling you "no you can't eat right now you have to wait X amount of hours"? Also, it advocates just letting your child cry it out which goes against just about any mommies instinct. For more info on that you can check out www.ezzo.info.
Anyways, I would recommend you check out The Happiest Baby on the Block, some libraries have it on DVD. Also, you can check out askdrsears.com.
Also, have you tried elevating your baby's head a little bit when you put her down to sleep to help with the reflux? Or what about "walking the baby down" in a sling. I have a Maya Wrap and an InfantinoSlingRider and my baby loved to be put to sleep that way and she would stay asleep longer.
Email me if you want more info on the slings at ____@____.com Luck

Have you ever heard of ECI? The one in your area is the Infant & Toddler Intervention Program. They might be able to help. They work with children birth to three years old with developmental concerns. If this is not a medical concern then a behavior specialist might be able to help you. If you are interested in someone coming to your home and doing a free evaluation and determining if this is something that they can do please call ###-###-#### to make a referral. Please let them know you heard about this service on the Mamasource network.

Have you tried rocking her? Have you tried to just let her cry it out? Do you have any toys in the crib with her? Try the Fisher Price crib toys--my son has them and loves them. Try to get some books at the library--they might help. Good luck!

Hey A. ...

My advice, invest in Gripe Water ... it is amazing! SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE! You will be amazed at how your baby will respond if you take control as the parent. There are some great tips in the book Baby Whisperer, but it is simple ...

Eat, Play, Sleep

We started scheduling, and put our son down at the same time, woke him up if need be (within in 30 days, he was waking himself up at meal time), fed him at the same time & he sleeps 12 hours a night, and goes down with no difficulty. We also do the same rountine everyday (feeding in the am, bathing in the pm) since our days seem to be all over the place (except during nap times). I hope this helps. We let it "run" our lives for a couple months and it was TOTALLY worth it! I wish you all of the best and if you need any support. Let me know!

Erin

A.,
I am so sorry you are struggling with sleep issues with your little one. I have twin boys, one who was an excellent sleeper from the start, the other who was not. I've done so much research on sleep issues in infants...I hope some of what I share with you is helpful.

First, pediatricians are notorious for not taking sleep issues seriously enough. I'm curious as to who yours is, because mine was not much help either. I recommend reading, "Clinical Guide to Pediatric Sleep" by Jodi Mindell. It's written for MD's, but it was the only book that had the level of detail I was looking for.

Second, I'm assuming you've tried behavioral training methods. If not, email me back and I'll let you know what worked for my "good" sleeper.

3) My son (the one with sleep issues) also has reflux. Prevacid did not work for him (he's on Axid now). You may have to try different doses and different reflux meds to find the one that works for your infant.

4)It turned out that my son had obstructive sleep apnea that prevented him from sleeping for longer periods of time (he was a poor napper, and only slept for 2-3 hours a stretch at night). We did not find this out until he was 14 months old!! I researched a local ENT, who did the Dx and the surgery to remove his adnoids (his adnoids were so large, they were causing the obstruction). He slept through the night for the first time at 15 mos. I'd recommend taking your infant to an ENT (Email if you want the name of ours) to at least have your baby looked at. If he/she isn't able to Dx apnea, reflux, etc, I'd recommend an overnight sleep study. Children's in Dallas does an exceptional job at this (more highly recommended than Medical City).

I hope this gives you a place to start. Email me if you have any questions.

Best,
J.

Hello A.,
I totally understand what you are going through, in fact your story is exactly the same as mine- hardly sleeping at night and absolutely none during the day, and my son has reflux too. The only thing that has helped me is his bouncy chair. What I will do is turn the tv on to where it is fuzzy/black/white and I bounce him in his chair for twenty minutes right after feeding him and he sleeps there for his naps and at night and now he has gotten to where he will sleep sometimes 4 hours in a row at night and a few little naps during the day. I dont know if this will help your baby but it is worth a try. Y.

Oh you poor thing!
First, make sure she's clear of any medical/diet concerns:
On the reflux, has her medication been adjusted since she started taking it? As babies grow, the dose of medicine needs to change too.
Could she be allergic or intolerant to milk? A friend's baby had lots of sleeplessness/screaming due to milk issues. If she's on formula, I'd switch to a dairy-free formula. I think Enfamil makes one called alimentum. It's expensive, but worth it in my book. After a week on that, if she calms down, you might try a lactose-free or soy formula. If you're nursing, eliminate dairy from your diet. Be sure to read ingredients carefully. More products than you can imagine have milk, butter or whey in them.
I'm wondering that if Tylenol worked to help her sleep, maybe she's in some kind of pain. Milk or food intolerance causes pain.
If medical or feeding concerns are eliminated, then you should look at tackling sleep problems.
At 6 months she should be sleeping 10 hours at night, plus 3 naps during the day for total daily sleep of 12-15 hours. (I forget the exact number, but it's in that range). We never bought into the "cry it out" method of sleep training with our first child (now age 3 and 13mo), but the routine and feeding/sleeping information in Babywise is really good. We did have to "cry it out" with our son and it worked, but I'm glad we only had to go through it twice -- once around 6 mo and once around 9 mo when sleep problems resurfaced.
A different way to look at sleep issues might be to focus on the number of hours she's awake. At 6 months, she shouldn't be able to last more than 2 hours awake. If you wait longer, she'll be over tired and not sleep well. What if you start putting her down for a nap at 2 hours (or less...maybe 1 hr 30 min or 1 hr 45 min) regardless of her mood? Put a couple of toys in her crib to entertain herself while she gets drowsy.
Whatever you do, remember that it takes time and consistency. If you switch formulas, give it at least a week. If you try a new sleeping method, give it at least a week.
Also, if your pediatrician is unresponsive to your concerns, find a new one! We love our docs, but they're in Denton, so might not be practical for you to drive. It's Drs Goff, Goff, Torrie and Day. They are part of the Cook's Children's network. David or Karen Goff are the best.

Have you tried a swing? Sometimes the motion will soothe them to sleep.

A., I need a little more information. What is your daughter doing when she is awake. Does she wake up crying? Is she eating during the night? What is her diet during the daytime? What other, if any, medications might she be taking? Is Benadryl an option? If you don't mind give me some answers, I'll see if I can give you a hand. I've had over 20 years as a professional child care provider and have raised two daughters of my own. Now I have 4 grandchildren and am about to become a great grandmother by osmosis....I have to say, though, I'll be an extremely YOUNG great grandmother, LOL!

Our daughter didn't like to take naps and we'd struggle many days trying to get her to sleep. A swing would work sometimes, the car worked everytime, and holding her or nursing her to sleep would work on occasion. My daughter started taking better naps around 6 months old I think for a few reasons. She was eating solids so she had a full belly around naptimes and she was rolling over and generally being more active.

To help you...look for the sleep cues of rubbing eyes, yawning, fussing. The past month I've noticed that when she is tired she will also play with her ears or her hair. Our general rule though is if she has been awake for about 3 hours without these cues then I automatically go ahead and put her down for a nap. In her bed I have a small little animal for her to play with. She can hold onto it, chew it, but it's not one that I need to worry about leaving in the bed. I would tell her it is naptime, give her the toy, put her in the crib and walk away. Sometimes immediately, other times after about 5-10 minutes she would realize what was going on and begin to fuss. I would go back pick her up, reassure all is ok and then put her back down. At times we only had to do this once, other times it would take 2-3 times before she eventually went to sleep, still other times she wouldn't sleep at all. If she got too angry I would always get her and let her play for 5 more minutes then start the process again. A lot of times that helped. At 8 months old and now that she can stand at her crib we are still struggling. We've figured out the routine that works everytime though. I put her down and she immediately stands up. I lay her back down and walk out of the room. She goes to stand back up again and either babbles or cries until we go back in. I pick her up, she lays her head on my shoulder I rub it and she relaxes enough that after a few minutes I can lay her down and she goes right to sleep. I think what helps the most is consistency, patience and a routine.

As far as books go, Happiest Baby on the Block helped tremendously. Your baby might be a bit old to try some of the techniques though. I also read Babywise and was able to take much of it and use it. Just realize not to take it as a manual and instead adjust it to your families lifestyle.

Are you breastfeeding and also consuming caffeine? I didn't give up caffeine while pregnant (don't have that much of it) but had to once she was born because even with the small amt I was having each morning, it was staying in my baby's sytem and keeping her awake. Babies don't clear caffeine as quickly as we do. So I gave it up entirely (even chocolate!) and suddenly I had a well rested, happy baby. :-)

If she's having reflux issues, have you checked her for milk allergy? I had to give up milk products too because she's allergic. That helped to cut down on colic a lot.

Hope this helps!

Hi A., I'm not sure that I have a great solution, but I did this a few times when my daughter had trouble staying asleep. She always fell asleep in the car seat when we were driving; so we brought the car seat inside and let her sleep in the car seat in her bedroom completely buckled in. I guess the tight snuggly feeling made her comfortable and she slept longer. Kind of like being swaddled. This was during the winter though, so I'm not sure if in the summer this would work. It might get too hot.

For me, the best book I ever read was called Babywise by Gary Ezzo. If you haven't heard of it, he says that babies like predictable schedules and when you follow the cycle of eat, play, sleep, babies are just so much happier(less crying). I followed this advice with all 3 of my children and it has worked great. I have 2 girls-3 and 5 years old, and a baby boy-3 months) It's been awhile since I've read his book, but if you have any questions about it, please let me know. You can even borrow it if you would like.
My youngest child just turned 3 months old and in the last week and a half he has gone from waking up every night at 3am to waking up at 6am. He goes to bed around 9:30pm. He's not perfect every night, but most nights he sleeps a good 8 hours.

I'm sure you will get many responses, but if you want to ask me anything, I'll try to help all I can.

If you want to email me, it's ____@____.com

These 2 books helped me when I had that problem: The Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. You probably don't have much time to read, but you can skim through them and get the idea.

Ditto on the thumbs down to Babywise. My hubby and I call it Baby Torture. There is NO way you can explain to an infant that according to the schedule they shouldn't be hungry so you won't feed them. Babies are hungry when they're hungry and no 2 babies are the same. My son's natural schedule is completely different than what that man said it should be. Also, if you're nursing, you need to feed your baby when he's hungry to keep your supply up. Several babies in this area have died from dehydration because their parents were following Babywise.
My son is very active and also went through a phase of this sleeplessness like you're describing. He has done it twice. Each time, he would go for about 2 weeks and sleep maybe an hour or two a day. Increasing his nursing helped quite a bit but other than that, we just let him sit in his swing and have his quiet time swinging in a dark, quiet room.
My hubby and I also thought we would die from sleep exhaustion. We thought we should call the military and offer ourselves as test subjects for sleep deprivation experiments. It does pass!!! My son still will only sleep 4-5 hours at a time at night because he has to eat during the night. Good luck!

PLEASE contact Kim West also known as THE SLEEP LADY. She is renowned and will counsel you over the phone.

http://www.sleeplady.com/

Set up an evaluation or consultation: ____@____.com or call ###-###-####

Have you been swaddling her or tried? If so, please let me know and I could possibly help by enhancing that. I have some ideas. I feel your desperation and understand. ;o)

Please do yourself the biggest favor ever and buy the book "Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo. It is amazing and guarantees your child sleeping through the night by 8-12v weeks. My son slept 10 hours a night at 11 mo and 12 hrs at 6mo. It is a great book. Some of the stuff is hard to do at first like letting them cry it out for a bit but so worth it for them and you. Hope you get it!